“Come to think of it, Noa is indeed a neighboring country’s princess.”
Alexander seemed to remember what Kalix had said once. Kalix urgently asked:
“Sasha, you won’t do that, right?”
“Huh?”
“You said you’re like real siblings. You probably never thought about marrying her anyway.”
Unlike the anxious Kalix, Alexander answered leisurely:
“She’s not actually my real sister, so that doesn’t matter. Still, I’ve never once thought about marrying her. I want to keep living on this side if possible. I told you my uncle keeps trying to adopt me, right? He keeps hoping for that to happen through me marrying her.”
He couldn’t tell whether to be relieved or annoyed.
“So you do like her? Since she’s not really your sister?”
“I like you.”
“I like you too.”
Even after answering immediately, Kalix felt a bit resentful. So he does like blondes after all. Growing up with a pretty blonde cousin and childhood friend like a fiancée, then dating a pretty blonde girlfriend. Yet saying he doesn’t like blondes. That must have been something he said to console Kalix. He actually likes blondes. That must be it. Alexander, like everyone else, must prefer blondes. I like brown hair though. Not just any brown hair, but specifically Alexander’s hair color.
“CC, what about you?”
At the touch that teasingly brushed his hair, Kalix looked at Alexander again. He was handsome. Especially the way he slightly softened his eye corners. In the street that had become calm with falling snow, only Alexander was blue. Yet his neat atmosphere harmoniously blended with the street. Only then did Kalix look around.
“I just lived on the territory. Relatives and people my parents knew would come visit, so it wasn’t boring. I met Owen when I was young too. We both didn’t remember, then met here and recognized each other.”
It was a familiar place, but not a comfortable one. He didn’t know if there would be time to get comfortable, but if so, wouldn’t Kalix think of Alexander when he came here again?
“Still, when I was on the territory I saw Debbie regularly, and after I grew up somewhat, Debbie would often come saying she was taking vacation, so she was probably the most familiar to me.”
Black coat, gray scarf, hair that had become disheveled again from being carelessly pushed back. When thinking of this street, what would come to mind would be Alexander’s appearance.
“There’s quite an age gap between me and Cyrus, and everyone was lenient with me. So I think I just grew up comfortably. Thinking about it, as you said, I’ve never really been scolded badly.”
Kalix spoke calmly while walking with Alexander.
“Then I came here.”
Kalix looked at the street that was somewhat empty due to the Academy having no students and it being winter.
“During the harvest festival, I met the son of some desert tribal chief here.”
“When?”
“When I was taken over.”
Kalix gripped Alexander’s hand a bit more firmly. He couldn’t even remember the name. No, did he even hear the name?
“During harvest festival there are street vendors here, you know. Whether he got into trouble there or was pickpocketed, anyway he was in difficulty so I helped him and he hit on me. Still, with that person it was just once, that was the end.”
He thought memories would surely surface if he came here. But actually, they didn’t.
“Once I skipped class and went toward the greenhouse. Then someone fell from a tree. You know, the scholarship student in the international department.”
“Yeah. I know.”
The Academy didn’t accept many scholarship students to begin with, and currently there was exactly one throughout all grades in the international department, so Alexander naturally seemed to know. Perhaps he knew because the person who had taken over Kalix’s body at the time had hit on someone whose face stood out.
“But it didn’t last long with that person either. After all, your brother was there.”
He had come and gone around that area a lot. Even so, he had never particularly thought about that time.
“And there was also a priest. His name is Lionel, do you know him?”
“Ah, the one who’s said to have divine grace on his face?”
Alexander had also gone on trips to the temple as a freshman, so he seemed to have seen him.
“So that’s why you hated going to the temple.”
At that voice that continued matter-of-factly, Kalix nodded and said:
“Professor Edley too.”
He still had one of Marcel’s classes. Marcel was in charge of preparatory department general philosophy anyway. But now he didn’t have any particular thoughts about it. It was just like other subjects.
“After being with you, I stopped thinking about anyone.”
It was like that after being with Alexander.
“Before that, I kept, kept remembering. Actually even now I sometimes remember. When I see that person.”
Everything changed to memories related to Alexander. Coming to this street, now he would remember walking with Alexander. Going to the temple, he would remember Alexander talking about how to secretly buy alcohol before. At the Academy, thoughts of Alexander just always occupied his mind.
“But when you’re here, it becomes okay.”
When did Kalix start loving Alexander? He couldn’t know exactly. Whether he came to love him through depending on him, or whether he came to depend on him already knowing he would fall in love – he couldn’t know that either. There was just one thing Kalix knew.
“Sasha, you said it yourself. That someday it would be okay. That it might surface occasionally, but would gradually become less frequent.”
Kalix felt love for Alexander.
“When I’m with you, I really am like that.”
Alexander has never been wrong. Everything has gone according to Alexander’s words. Kalix really did get better. Even if not completely, at least enough to get by reasonably well. Thanks to Alexander.
“I originally hated even going outside.”
But now Kalix would be okay even if Alexander’s words were wrong.
“I was afraid of who I might meet. Even if not that, I felt like being in those places would bring back memories.”
Still, if Alexander were by his side, everything would be right for him.
“But Sasha, when I’m with you, I only think of you.”
Kalix shifted his gaze from looking straight ahead to look at Alexander beside him. Alexander’s eyes met his immediately, as if he’d been looking at Kalix from the beginning. Alexander was always, constantly, looking at Kalix. Even when Kalix couldn’t look anywhere, always.
“Now when I come here again, I’ll think of you.”
Will you too? You have so many memories. Will you pull out memories of me from all those memories? Even without me there.
“Sasha, you have to think of me a lot too.”
He hoped so.
“Because I only think of you.”
At least for now, he hoped it would be like that. At least for now. He couldn’t know about the future, but still, when with Kalix.
“So today when we walk around sightseeing, go to the hotel, and return to the Academy again, Sasha.”
He knows that sightseeing the streets, going to the hotel, and going to the Academy wouldn’t be firsts for Alexander. But it wouldn’t be a first for Kalix either, really. Of course, it actually was a first, but if we’re talking about memories, it wasn’t. Still, from now on, Kalix would always think of Alexander whenever he recalled any of it.
“You always have to think of me.”
At those words, Alexander’s expression wavered for a moment.
“Hey, I already,”
When Alexander’s composure occasionally faded, he couldn’t look away. He had no choice but to keep holding on. Kalix wanted to hold Alexander firmly, but would there be time for that?
“Always think of you.”
At those words, Kalix smiled.
“That’s a relief.”
While hoping this time would never pass forever, he also wanted to face what came after. He didn’t know what would be at this end, but if it never ended, there was something he definitely wanted to tell him.
* * *
Kalix entered the room holding Alexander’s hand tightly and stared intently at Alexander. He’d thought it would be so, but Alexander had definitely been to a hotel before. Alexander getting a room and coming up was truly natural. He’d even momentarily checked Kalix when the manager asked if this was their first visit. He’d said it was their first time, but it was obviously a lie.
“You haven’t been to this room though, right?”
“Right.”
At his natural nod, Kalix finally relaxed a bit. Kalix was the one who’d suggested coming to a hotel anyway. Since this was the only hotel in the area, of course he would have been here before. Still, feeling a bit jealous, Kalix bit Alexander’s ear while taking off his coat.
“Sorry?”
But at that ambiguous apology, his feelings completely softened. It wasn’t really something to be sorry about. Yet Alexander apologized. That actually made Kalix feel sorry instead.
“Sasha, you don’t have to apologize to me for anything.”
“I felt like I should just now.”
“Did it show?”
“A little.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
