- Between Us (4)
– Na Jihan, be honest with me.
Instead of answering, Na Jihan tapped the steering wheel with his index finger. He knew the other person would continue without being pressed.
– You don’t have anything going on with Seowoo, right? Really?
Na Hyeonjun spoke in a rather serious voice.
– The discord rumors and such going around aren’t good. You need to be more careful.
“Hyung, do you really believe whatever those nobodies say?”
– Would I believe it? I’m just asking in case, man. Just in case.
“That’s the same as believing it.”
Na Jihan chuckled softly and answered.
“There’s nothing. So stop worrying about useless things and focus on your main job.”
– I know. I’ll come rushing over to greet you as soon as the meeting’s over. You said you’re almost there?
“Yeah. I’m going early to be with Seowoo.”
– Well, that family is particularly strange, after all.
Na Hyeonjun clicked his tongue.
– You handle it well. Seowoo’s been restless lately. Things around him are about to get noisy too.
“Around him?”
– President Yoon was lurking around our neighborhood a few days ago.
Na Jihan’s expression, which had been slightly smiling throughout, froze instantly. The playful movement of his fingertips also stopped abruptly.
“That bastard is looking for Yoon Seowoo again?”
The words he spat out like grinding his teeth were filled with unconcealed irritation and disgust.
Yoon Seowoo’s biological father was trash. Not content with making excuses about business and investments while dragging all the family’s money and turning it into waste paper, he had even gotten his hands into gambling.
“They say a dog never changes its ways……”
Even after the divorce, he was someone who periodically lurked around Yoon Seowoo. Now that he’d made a name for himself as an idol, he’d probably start smelling money and come running.
– It seems like he’s chasing after various people, so you be careful too. Don’t let Seowoo go around alone for a while, and take good care of him.
“I wasn’t planning to let that happen even without that bastard.”
He had only made exceptions for yesterday and today. Yoon Seowoo, whose insides must have been noisy with various incidents, needed time to breathe too.
But that would end today. After the ancestral rites, he planned to stick close to Yoon Seowoo without any gaps. Since it was a matter directly related to safety, the cooperation of the person involved was also necessary.
– That’s true. When it comes to Seowoo, you wouldn’t slack off. See you later.
“Yeah.”
After hanging up the phone, going to the columbarium to see Yoon Seowoo, and tilting an umbrella toward him as he fled down the mountain, Na Jihan thought.
Is it because of your misfortune that I keep worrying about you? Because this world doesn’t leave weak and kind things alone, because you keep getting pushed around here and there, is that why my gaze naturally turns to you as if it’s only natural?
Looking down at the pale nape briefly visible inside the collar, Na Jihan felt a strange thirst.
‘Well.’
Even if you weren’t unlucky, I would have wanted to hold an umbrella over you.
“Aunt.”
After dropping Yoon Seowoo off at the car, Na Jihan headed back to the columbarium. In the place where people had passed through, the scent of incense and alcohol lingered faintly.
Setting down a bouquet where the ancestral table had been arranged, Na Jihan said.
“It’s been a while. I’m sorry I couldn’t visit often.”
The face in the photo smiling gently didn’t look very much like Yoon Seowoo at first glance. When his expression wasn’t so clear, his face was closer to his paternal genetics, which made him think that was why the family members who had nothing but money treated Yoon Seowoo so harshly.
But Na Jihan knew. The fact that when the two of them smiled brightly, they looked exactly the same. As if to prove they were mother and son, the softly curved eyes, the raised corners of their mouths, and even the neat teeth and the bright laughter flowing between them were identical.
“Seowoo is doing well.”
Looking endlessly into that smile, he said.
“As for whether only good things happen, well, I’m sorry to you aunt, but that’s not the case.”
Na Jihan sighed, saying there were too many bad people in the world, and smiled awkwardly.
“But he’s handling it well. Whose son is he that he couldn’t… You know, right? How sincere Seowoo is.”
Always, consistently, continuing with neither more nor less heart. That was the most clearly shining among Yoon Seowoo’s many virtues, and something no one could easily steal or imitate.
“This is a secret I’m only telling you, aunt. I subscribed to Seowoo’s Whisper. At first, I subscribed to comfort him by pretending to be a fan when he looked like he was having a hard time……”
But it was he himself who was comforted by the long messages that came faithfully every day, by the affection packed tightly within them, by the attitude that treasured each day.
“Even though he’s barely ever celebrated things like Christmas in his life, this morning he left a long letter to fans as a Christmas greeting. That’s when I thought, ah, this is really his aunt’s blood. People who are loved by Yoon Seowoo are really fortunate.”
The quietly continuing voice suddenly stopped. Na Jihan touched his lips and fell into thought for a moment.
An indefinable sense of discomfort hung around his lips. He felt like he had spoken honestly, but why did an uneasy feeling sweep through his chest?
“……I’ll take good care of Seowoo.”
So he won’t be hurt, so he won’t cry. So he can continue walking forward step by step so consistently. So he can live with a face that looks just like yours.
“So you don’t have to worry, aunt. I’ll always be by Seowoo’s side. When you have time later, please visit my mom’s dreams too.”
After returning like that, Yoon Seowoo suffered severely and crossed into the new year.
Pressing his lips down on the feverishly hot lips, Na Jihan secretly whispered.
‘Don’t give up.’
Even if your head is confused and your insides sting, I want you to keep liking me.
You, who try to see the good side first no matter what you look at in the world, would easily give affection and love, but still, I want the portion allocated to me among the affection you can give to be the largest.
Until I prepare the answer you want, I want you to suffer from a fever bearing my name.
Like that, Na Jihan made a very selfish wish.
  ***
“……He’s asleep.”
Whether their relationship was sorted out or not, time flowed diligently.
The year changed and his condition, which had wavered, returned to normal. That meant the Valentine’s solo concert was right around the corner.
It was the first anniversary of their debut, and on top of that, their first solo concert. The members’ enthusiasm reached the sky, and they fought to do more of anything, sticking to the practice room even without being told.
Yoon Seowoo was no exception. Among Arcus’s five members, Yoon Seowoo’s practice volume was by far the most outstanding. Rather, the trainers had to step forward and discourage him, telling him to take it easy.
Today too, Yoon Seowoo had gone to the company building before dawn and was absorbed in practice until late at night. Since it was obvious he hadn’t eaten dinner, Na Jihan simply picked up some food from the first floor and went up to the practice room.
“Yoon Seowoo.”
When he approached and crouched down, he could see the face sleeping deeply while leaning against the wall. He was completely relaxed and defenseless, as if asking when he had struggled so hard.
Looking at that face, he felt an inexplicable tickling sensation. This emotion that seemed like anxiety and also like excitement had its reason right in front of him.
It seemed like he could catch it if he just reached out his hand a little more. Really, just a little more.
‘I received a confession.’
Someone said they wanted you.
‘Why do you want me to keep liking you?’
The emotion he felt at that moment was surprisingly rejection. He didn’t want to have this position taken away. He felt that way even knowing it was a childish emotion.
‘Why did you try to move instead of me?’
Because I want you to keep liking me.
‘Now it seems like it’s time for you to find the reason.’
Like gauging the path ahead, he felt something catch on his fingertips that he had stretched out with all his might.
Why did I want you not to give up on your one-sided love? What was the reason I wanted to get closer rather than you leaving?
No, it wasn’t that I wanted to get closer, but I seemed confident that I could get closer. Because I believed that with just a little effort, my heart would become the same as yours.
Well, your existence is already big to me. I am you…….
“……”
In the silence, Yoon Seowoo slowly opened his eyes.
At that moment, along with the sensation of his heart sinking with a thud, a big question mark struck Na Jihan’s mind.
Could this really be friendship?
He could no longer affirm it with a comfortable heart.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
