♩♬♪―.
The phone rang loudly. Did we even have a landline at home? When I opened my eyes, an unfamiliar ceiling came into view.
“Ah…… right. I came to a motel.”
The noisy ringing was coming from the front desk. The phone on the bedside table kept blaring. I stretched my arm out as far as I could and picked up the receiver.
[You need to check out.]
“I’m sorry, but could you give me just 30 minutes? I haven’t had a chance to wash up…….”
[Then please come out in 30 minutes.]
Click.
“Agh…….”
When I tried to get up, a sharp ache shot through my lower back and I groaned without meaning to. I pressed one hand against it; the spot throbbed like a deep bruise.
I must’ve finally started feeling the impact from when I crashed into something while climbing out the window yesterday. My whole body felt stiff, like I’d been tense for too long. Honestly, I didn’t even have the energy to wash. If I’d been home, I would’ve just slept longer……
I forced myself upright and shuffled to the bathroom with the smallest movements possible. I tore open the plastic wrapping around a toothbrush near the sink and brushed my teeth. After splashing water on my face, I noticed some kind of dust still stuck in my hair.
“I want to shower, but…….”
I didn’t think I could finish within thirty minutes, so I just made myself look barely presentable and left the motel. Then I walked toward the bus stop.
My phone was still off, so I couldn’t check the time until I saw the electronic sign at the stop.
“Almost one o’clock.”
I boarded the bus and sat in the nearest seat. Maybe because it was the weekend, there were plenty of empty spots. I was used to standing on this bus, so sitting down felt incredibly comfortable.
Yesterday’s events flickered past like scenery outside the window—the moments I felt angry, the moments I felt fear, relief, even the times my heart pounded.
It would’ve been cleaner if I’d just used Jun the way that suited me and ended things neatly. Letting my emotions get swept away like this only made it harder to even break even.
And after coming all the way here to escape Panty Guy, it was ironic that I’d ended up accepting something like this. If things were going to be like this anyway, maybe I should’ve just stayed back home, eating the meals Mom cooked while looking for a job. Everything I tried just kept getting more tangled.
“Haah…….”
I leaned forward with my arms over the back of the seat in front of me. Pressing my forehead against it eased the throbbing in my head a little.
After a rush of people got on and then off again, the announcement for our apartment stop came on. As I stood by the rear door preparing to get off, a familiar car caught my eye.
I couldn’t ignore it. Jun’s car looked far too distinctive.
Even on the bus ride over, I’d been wondering how I should act if I ran into him again.
But nothing came to mind except keeping a poker face. Suddenly, the master-servant dynamic between us felt like a heavy weight pressing down on my life. I’d only wanted to live a little more comfortably, but instead my emotions had snowballed like a growing debt.
As I stepped off through the back door, I braced myself for facing Jun. I slowly set my foot on the ground and walked toward the apartment. As expected, I heard the car door slam shut behind me. Footsteps that had sounded distant now felt right at my back.
I knew he was following me, but I didn’t turn around. I kept walking straight until I reached the elevator. Jun came to stand beside me. His silhouette reflected faintly in the elevator doors. He wasn’t wearing the clothes from yesterday.
I thought he’d say something, but he stayed silent. Even after we got in and I pressed the 4th floor, he simply stood next to me. Being in such a cramped space together made it even harder to breathe.
Ding―.
When the doors opened and fresh air rushed in, I finally felt like I could breathe again. I walked toward my apartment, and he kept following. I couldn’t pretend not to notice anymore.
“Why did you come?”
I asked while staring at the front door. I didn’t have the courage to look at his face.
“Hyung. We still have something left to do.”
I could’ve ordered him to leave right then. I needed time to sort through my thoughts. I wanted to face him only after the storm of emotions and the creaking logic inside me settled back into place.
I turned around to face him. Calm eyes looked down at me. Just as I opened my mouth to tell him to go, his palm covered my lips.
“I’m not taking any orders until I get my reward. So… open the door.”
He wasn’t wrong. When I gave a small nod, his hand dropped from my mouth. A promise was a promise. I opened the door and went inside, and Jun followed.
“I want to wash up first. Can we talk after that? I fell asleep without showering yesterday…….”
“Yeah.”
Jun sat down on the sofa. He’d been holding something; he set it roughly beside him and leaned his head back against the cushion. When I came out of the small room holding a change of clothes, his eyes were closed.
Leaving him there, I headed to the bathroom. It showed that he hadn’t slept properly last night. As I washed my face again at the sink, I thought about seeing his car earlier.
Just how long had he waited for me? And why had he come looking for me when there was someone else at his place? I rinsed the foam from my face, hoping those thoughts would wash away too.
I turned on the shower and soaked myself from head to toe. To calm my nerves, I finished with cold water. By the time my lips were trembling from the chill, my mind felt sharp again.
I was only playing the role of his owner—not his lover.
He hadn’t outright said I was just a tool to fix his impotence, but that was the truth. I was a tool meant to perform a role. I knew my place well.
Even when I came out after drying off, Jun was still sitting in the same position with his eyes closed. His head tilted back, exposing the line of his jaw and neck. Seeing his slightly parted lips almost made me remember yesterday’s kiss.
“If you’re tired, go sleep on the bed.”
When I spoke, his eyes slowly opened. He looked tired, but the sharpness in his gaze remained unchanged. Without answering, he grabbed my hand.
“Why are you so cold?”
I tried to pull away, but his fingers were more tightly intertwined than I expected, and I couldn’t easily break free.
Still holding my hand, Jun picked something up and led me into the bedroom. It was a space I saw and lay in every day, yet entering it together made it feel unfamiliar. Even though I’d cooled myself down with cold water, heat gathered beneath my throat.
Jun sat me on the bed and dropped to one knee in front of me. It was the same posture from our conversation at the rest stop. As if we’d returned to last night, the air in the room shifted into that same atmosphere.
“Why did you just leave yesterday?”
“……Because I wanted to. You said I could do whatever I wanted.”
“Then you should’ve said you were leaving. Or asked me to take you. If you just disappear like that, what do you think that puts me through?”
“Did you… look for me?”
“Of course I did. Did you think I’d just go to sleep without looking?”
There had definitely been that yellow-haired man at Jun’s place. Jun’s space lacked nothing—there was no reason for him to be this anxious just because I was gone. I was just a means to resolve his impotence……
“Hyung……. Hyung!”
“H-huh?”
“Are you going to keep spacing out? Why are you overthinking everything so much? If something’s bothering you, just say it.”
Hearing that, I thought carefully about our roles. There was nothing wrong with Jun’s attitude right now. The problem was my own heart. When I slammed the brakes on the thoughts that had almost crossed a line, my reason returned.
Stay coldheaded.
I steadied myself and pushed down the lingering hurt.
It was time to face him again as his owner. I didn’t want to whine at Jun like a child. I didn’t have that right. As his owner, all I had to do was give one-sided orders.
“Anyway, you said you came to get your reward?”
“You promised yesterday.”
I’d expected that. He hadn’t come to consider my feelings… he’d come for his objective.
“Alright. I’ll give it to you.”
I forced a smile as I answered, but Jun’s previously gentle eyes turned cold as he looked up at me. His gaze felt ruthless, like it pierced straight through me—as if scolding me for not being honest. After staring at my tightly pressed lips, Jun stood up.
Where is he planning to lick this time?
I tensed like a prisoner awaiting execution when Jun suddenly tossed something onto the bed beside me. Metal clinked softly, and it took me a moment to recognize what it was.
Handcuffs.
I lifted my head, wondering if he really intended to make me a prisoner, but Jun pointed at them with a merciless expression like an executioner.
Yet the words that came out of his mouth were unexpected.
“Put them on my hands and feet.”
Was that really what he meant? Slowly, I picked up the handcuffs he’d thrown.
“These?”
Jun nodded, crossed his arms, and pulled his shirt off. Then, as if it were only natural, he unfastened his belt and removed his pants and underwear without hesitation. When he climbed onto the bed, my whole body tensed. He passed by me and lay back against the headboard with his upper body propped up.
“Hurry up. If you don’t…….”
“Then why are you stripping so suddenly like that?”
“Don’t you need to check if it gets hard?”
As he said that, Jun’s gaze slowly swept over my entire body. Goosebumps prickled along my skin.
The handcuffs he’d given me were padded with leather. When I approached holding them, Jun said simply, “Feet.”
I moved to the foot of the bed and fastened them one by one around his ankles. Even as I did it, confusion lingered in my head. What is this? Why do we have to go this far?
“Tighten them. If they come loose, I won’t be responsible for what happens.”
“If I tighten them any more, it looks like they’ll hurt you…….”
“Don’t relax just because it’s not hard. If they come loose, I’ll do everything except penetration.”
“O-okay, got it.”
“I warned you.”
At that, I tightened them more firmly. The skin around the cuffs turned red, and I fidgeted uneasily. Jun prompted again, saying, “Hands.”
As I secured his wrists too, I felt a little guilty. He’d told me to do it, but actually binding his hands and feet made him look pitiful. Still… what was he planning to do like this?
“All done. What do you want me to do now?”
“From now on, I’m going to take your cock into my mouth. That’s the least reward you should give me. We went all the way out there, didn’t we?”
