I met that guy—Cha Jungwoo—again in late spring, sometime after that incident.
I’d adjusted to life in Korea by then, and to avoid unnecessary trouble, I lived far more strictly within my boundaries than I had in my first year.
I stopped by the department office briefly because of some administrative matter, and as I stepped out, I felt a lingering gaze from somewhere.
I lifted my head, intending to silently tell them not to stare—and my eyes met someone else’s.
The face felt familiar, but it was quickly blocked by someone standing diagonally in front of him, which left me oddly disappointed.
If I had to say, the person in front was someone I knew too.
Yoo In-ho. A noisy classmate who never missed any gatherings in our department.
I didn’t know whether he knew the rumors about me, but he understood how to keep an appropriate distance, so I didn’t think poorly of him.
Since we only talked when necessary, I figured continuing the conversation wouldn’t be troublesome.
But strangely, today he felt especially in the way. So I responded half-heartedly with a bored gaze for a while.
For now, I’d just go along with him until I could confirm who was standing behind him.
“Long time no see. I heard you came back from leave.”
“Yeah. You too.”
Even as the stiff, awkward conversation continued, my attention was fixed on the third party behind him.
Yoo In-ho didn’t seem entirely comfortable with me either. Just as I was about to gesture with my chin for him to move aside—
The person behind him leaned slightly to peek past his shoulder. The owner of that lingering gaze—and the exact person I’d been looking for.
…Cha Jungwoo? Seeing his features revealed between the strands of falling hair snapped my mind awake.
The guy who’d lived quietly despite his reputation during freshman year. The one who’d shown excessive kindness to me on that bench at the start of the semester.
And the owner of the black hat I still had.
Looking at Cha Jungwoo’s face, tinged with curiosity and admiration, reminded me of the hat tucked away in the corner of my studio apartment’s dressing room.
For some reason I couldn’t throw it away, so I’d taken it home with me—and now it overlapped with his face in my mind.
I’d told myself I’d dispose of it at home, using the excuse that throwing it away at school might cause unnecessary rumors.
It would’ve been nice if I’d actually thrown it out, but I’d made excuses about it not being regular trash and ended up storing it away instead—not that long ago.
The biggest mystery was that it was still at my place.
Even I didn’t really understand what I was doing. I was just moving on instinct.
…Was Yoo In-ho the one who’d called Cha Jungwoo over on that bench back then? I couldn’t remember much from that day aside from Jungwoo himself, since I hadn’t been feeling well.
But this part, at least, I remembered vividly—as if he were my sworn enemy.
Haha, so it was you. The bastard who took him away from me. Just as my irritation toward Yoo In-ho was starting to build—
I figured I should at least thank Cha Jungwoo, and began looking for an opportunity to talk to him.
“About last ti—”
As I stepped forward, extending my hand slightly, I noticed curiosity in his eyes—as if he were seeing me for the first time.
…Don’t tell me I’m the only one who remembers. A sudden unpleasant feeling rose up. I wanted to shove Yoo In-ho aside and demand that Cha Jungwoo remember me.
Am I crazy? What am I doing? Seeing that upright, straightforward gaze made something inside me boil. I felt like I’d only be satisfied if that neat face were turned entirely toward me.
I nearly let my true temperament slip out in the heat of the moment, but quickly changed my mind.
The curious, favorable look on his face—like he knew nothing—felt like an opportunity.
Yeah. I realized I could start with a good image in Cha Jungwoo’s eyes.
Not the ominous atmosphere of our first meeting, but a gentle expression—that was what I decided on.
I closed and opened my eyes, slowly steadying my breathing. A little kinder than usual, I called out to him in a softer voice.
“…Move aside?”
At my words, Yoo In-ho stepped to the side. Finally, I was face-to-face with the guy who’d been hidden behind him.
Aside from his lighter clothing, Cha Jungwoo didn’t look much different. If anything had changed, maybe it was his gaze—those calm black eyes shining in the sunlight pouring through the window.
“Wow, you two really didn’t know each other? Same year, you know. This is Cha Jungwoo.”
“Ah, um….”
Even after Yoo In-ho’s introduction, Cha Jungwoo still acted awkward. Was I really that unfamiliar to him? I forced down the corner of my mouth that wanted to lift in disappointment.
…Why am I even feeling disappointed? I couldn’t understand myself at all.
Meanwhile, Yoo In-ho kept moving around busily as usual.
He must’ve had plans—he took a call and hurried off.
Left alone, Cha Jungwoo turned to me with an oddly relieved expression. My mood wasn’t great, but being alone with him felt surprisingly nice.
I wondered if I should speak first, when I noticed how fidgety he seemed.
Watching his eyes roll above those sharp features was strangely amusing. I stayed silent for a while, just watching him.
Perhaps feeling the awkwardness, Cha Jungwoo scratched his head and reached out his hand first.
The clear gaze visible through his hair rippled through me like a stone thrown into a still lake.
“I’m Cha Jungwoo. Nice to meet you. Since we’re in the same department, I guess we’ll see each other around a lot.”
He’s not like this with only me, right? An uncomfortable feeling swelled deep inside my stomach.
But if I showed my real nature, he might never try to talk to me again—so I steadied my breathing and slowly reached out to grasp his hand.
“Yeah. I’m Min Siheon.”
Strangely, shaking hands with Cha Jungwoo didn’t feel unpleasant at all. Ever since receiving the hat, I’d had a feeling it would be okay—but instead of discomfort, his warmth felt… comforting.
Considering how I used to hate physical contact, I wondered if the obsessive cleanliness my family despised had finally improved.
But Cha Jungwoo seemed more startled than I was. His posture broke, and his body pitched forward.
Half a step—no, a full step closer than before. Without thinking, I bent down to catch him.
I reached out and supported him. Thankfully, I avoided fully wrapping my arms around his waist, but his face suddenly being so close made my heart drop.
His widened eyes and slightly parted lips captured my attention.
…Lips. The faint glimpse of teeth and the soft curve of his tongue made my mind freeze. It seemed I wasn’t the only one who sensed the strange atmosphere—Cha Jungwoo quickly shook off my hand and stepped back.
Am I that pent-up? I rubbed my fingertips, thinking that if he hadn’t pulled away first, I might’ve crossed a line.
“Sorry. Your hands are cold.”
“…Yeah.”
Cha Jungwoo kept apologizing, and remembering the warmth I’d felt earlier, maybe I did seem cold to him.
Then again, he didn’t seem to realize he was taller. Suddenly, I imagined what it would be like to hug him.
…Ha. Yeah, I was definitely pent-up. The feeling inside me closely resembled desire.
***
He really does all sorts of things. I forced myself not to frown at the sight of Cha Jungwoo—clearly a guy no matter how you looked at him—and lifted my head.
He’d started rummaging through his bag as soon as the handshake ended.
What kind of strange stunt would he pull this time to grab attention? Despite his neat appearance, he seemed a little clumsy.
As expected, Cha Jungwoo was a peculiar person. Seeing the chocolate he suddenly held out made my stomach heat up.
I should’ve pulled him closer earlier. Maybe then I’d know why I felt like this now.
“……”
It seemed Cha Jungwoo snapped out of it first. His shoulders trembled slightly as he began to withdraw the hand holding the chocolate.
I quickly reached out and took it before he could pull away. If I didn’t accept it now, it might end up in someone else’s hands.
“…I’ll enjoy it.”
You were giving it to me, weren’t you? Then it was mine.
“Okay.”
A sense of satisfaction filled me as I looked at the chocolate in my grasp.
It still held warmth from being in his hand so long, and it felt as though I were holding Cha Jungwoo himself. Rolling the crinkling wrapper between my fingers, I imagined the chocolate was him.
Like melting chocolate, something inside me softened and collapsed. Even while trying to maintain a gentle expression, my attention kept returning to him.
If I relaxed, I might pounce on him. That was a secret Cha Jungwoo could never know.
My fingertips—my whole body—felt restless because of him.
Cha Jungwoo turned out to be harder to run into than I’d expected. We were in the same department and same year, so I thought we’d cross paths easily. But after days passed without seeing him, my mood sank.
Once exams were over, I decided I’d find him through someone—maybe a class representative or anyone who knew him.
There wasn’t any real reason I had to meet him. I just… wanted to.
If I melted him slowly with a smiling face, I could probably get his contact information, right? The thought made me laugh at how simple-minded my plan was.
I’d always lived however I wanted, but in Korea, things like this were rare for me—so it felt unfamiliar.
Midterms began in earnest, and just as my short patience started running out—
The headache that had returned two days ago made me grit my teeth.
I chased away anyone who tried to sit next to me, using my poor condition as an excuse, and stared at my book with a harsh expression.
“Excuse me. I’ll sit here for a bit.”
Who is this? Are they careless, or just completely oblivious?
Someone placed their bag down without even looking at me.
I was about to turn my head, holding back a curse that had risen to my throat—when I saw the face standing there, and all the tension drained out of me.
“…….”
“Oh?”
Ha, you were in the same class as me? It was such a big lecture that I’d never thought to look for him here.
And yet he’d shown up on his own. Annoyed at my own foolishness but greeting him anyway, I widened my eyes slightly in surprise.
As harmlessly as possible—so he wouldn’t want to run away—I put on a face no one who knew me would believe.
“Hi.”
Then I pushed my book aside, subtly signaling that I wanted to talk to him.
Sit here. Stay. Maybe he understood, because Cha Jungwoo slowly took the seat.
He didn’t seem to remember our first meeting, but apparently he hadn’t forgotten what happened in the hallway.
Seeing him speak comfortably made me feel like my patience hadn’t been wasted.
“Guess we really didn’t pay attention to each other. How did I not know you?”
“Yeah, seriously.”
No—I had been interested in Cha Jungwoo. I’d even been searching for him.
“What? Are you smiling?”
“…Huh?”
At his words, I raised a hand to touch the corner of my mouth.
It wasn’t strange that I wanted to present myself well around him, but this smile had been almost unconscious—it surprised even me.
Feeling the tight pull of skin beneath my cold fingers, I wondered if something had gone wrong.
“It’s nothing.”
“Yeah… but seriously, why didn’t I know you?”
Maybe sensing my stiffness, Cha Jungwoo waved both hands as if trying to lighten the mood.
He seemed like the kind of person who drew attention just by existing.
Looking at him made me endlessly curious, like something instinctual inside me was catching fire.
Sexual curiosity? No—it wasn’t something that simple.
It felt heavier, rawer, deeper than that.
Seeing his innocent face, it didn’t seem like Cha Jungwoo had any ability to read what was going on inside me.
I let out a small chuckle and rummaged through my bag, preparing for the exam.
Yeah. If he knew what I was thinking, he’d probably be horrified. I turned my gaze away, trying to hide those primal feelings.
I’d heard he was diligent about his college life. Even now, maybe because I wanted to look good to him, I found myself flipping through my book.
Not a single word sank in. Even as I rolled my pen between my fingers, all my attention was fixed on Cha Jungwoo.
He couldn’t even leave someone like me alone, it seemed—after already taking every tiny piece of my attention.
I couldn’t even guess what kind of strange things he’d do next.
Of course, the fact that I accepted it so willingly—almost happily—was just as strange.
“…….”
“Ah.”
I stared at the small can held out in front of me. Cocoa. As unfamiliar and out of place as the person offering it. What are you even doing…
“You want me to drink this too?”
“…If you don’t want it, never mind.”
I watched Cha Jungwoo, who rested his chin on his hand with an embarrassed expression.
Despite the noisy surroundings, it felt like only the two of us were separated from everything else, my mind turning completely white.
A ringing filled my ears, making me frown briefly. Then I saw his flushed red ears beyond his tilted head, and an unbearable impatience surged through me.
I want to touch him. And Cha Jungwoo…
The only thing I allowed myself to do was tap his shoulder lightly with my finger.
“Huh?”
Even though I’d only touched a small patch of fabric covering his shoulder, it felt like my skin had caught fire.
The corner of my lifted mouth twitched. Gently, slowly—so he wouldn’t be startled—I moved closer to him.
Without any clear purpose, I took one step toward Cha Jungwoo, then another.
“I’ll enjoy it.”
“Uh, uh… okay….”
My chest felt tight. His slightly parted lips, the clueless expression on his neat face—it all made it hard to breathe.
Forget the exam. In that moment, I felt a thirst that water alone could never quench.
Cha Jungwoo… What did you do to me?
Even though I was smiling, my thoughts felt like they were about to explode.
