It had already been several days since I decided I would somehow meet him. I started using campus facilities I’d never bothered with before.
The ridiculous reason was that, with that upright personality of his, it felt unlikely he’d avoid places like the library or nearby cafés.
Until now, I had been planning to deceive and polish myself over time—so that Cha Jungwoo would think the rumors about me were wrong, so that he would believe it was okay to get close to someone like Min Siheon.
I pretended to draw lines with people, yet my eyes were always gentle.
Because Cha Jungwoo seemed to like kind people, I decided to create someone he would like.
Studying in the school library during exam season. If my first-year self had seen me now, I would’ve scoffed.
Only after leaving the overcrowded library did it feel like the shackles pressing on my lungs finally loosened.
Why is it that the person I want to see never shows up, and only situations I hate keep happening?
The lingering glances people had thrown at me came to mind, and I rolled up my sleeves as if to shake them off.
Even from my own perspective, it had been a series of completely absurd events.
What the hell is the reason? Have I ever been this swayed by someone else before?
It seemed Cha Jungwoo had become so desperately important to me that I was doing something this stupid… A person who made it hard to breathe when he was close, yet unpleasant to be away from.
I hated Cha Jungwoo for being someone who wasn’t easy to approach, bound as he was to his usual crowd and routine. And yet, I wanted to see him.
In the end, the thought of just giving up won out, and I was heading inside to grab my things.
Thinking I’d wasted my time on nonsense, I quickened my pace—only to bump into a man lingering at the library entrance.
At first, my reaction was just, What now? But that didn’t last long before my body froze.
“I’m sorry!”
“…Cha Jungwoo?”
“What, it was you.”
Where the hell have you been all this time? I almost burst out, but the moment I saw his face, everything was forgiven.
Since I’d decided to try being a kind person, I closed my eyes once, then slowly exhaled.
“…Did you come to study?”
It was an obvious thing to say in front of a library, but for someone with a quiet, shy image, it felt like the safest line.
“Yeah, but there aren’t any seats. Well, I don’t have class later anyway, so I was just gonna head home.”
Cha Jungwoo was the kind of guy who answered even the most obvious small talk kindly.
Judging by how he adjusted the bag on his shoulder, he really was about to leave.
“Looks like you got a seat though. See you next time.”
Where does he think he’s going, leaving me behind? The thought that I couldn’t let him run away crossed my mind, and I searched for an excuse to stop him.
My temper made my body move before my head could catch up.
With a somewhat rough grip, Cha Jungwoo’s back turned back toward me.
His wide eyes and parted lips, clearly startled, filled my vision.
“…Cha Jungwoo!”
“Huh? What??”
Seriously, this guy was strange. Why didn’t touching him feel unpleasant? Even if it had been instinctive, I was surprised at myself for reaching out to him so casually.
I’d only brushed against the thick fabric of his clothes, yet my palm burned as if I’d been scalded, making my heart drop.
The heat where I had touched him refused to fade.
It felt like every cell in my body had rushed into my palm.
Cha Jungwoo must’ve found me odd, because he crossed his arms, tilting his head with a worried expression.
“Hey, you scared me. …What’s wrong with you? You’re acting weird.”
“…Yeah, I guess I am weird.”
That’s right. I think I’m the strange one, Cha Jungwoo.
“What? I was just messing around….”
Every time I look at you, the whole world feels stirred up.
Even without reaching a clear conclusion, one thought became firm—I needed to keep him here first.
***
I lifted my head, put on a gentle expression, and met Cha Jungwoo’s eyes.
“…Want to go eat with me?”
“Out of nowhere?”
“I just… feel like treating you.”
What a stupid thing to say. Judging by how impulsive my choices were becoming, something inside me had definitely broken.
But I didn’t have another option. If I could just keep Cha Jungwoo here, I was willing to do anything.
“But weren’t you about to go into the library?”
“No, it’s fine. …I’ll grab my stuff and come out, so, uh, you—don’t go anywhere.”
The clumsy way I walked—something I hadn’t done since I grew older—was proof enough. I was anxious he might change his mind in that short moment.
“What? Hey, hey! Min Siheon! You really wanna eat with me??”
Through the glass, I frantically waved at Cha Jungwoo to stay put, and I felt like an idiot.
What the hell am I even doing right now? I’d never acted this foolish in my life.
I couldn’t even remember how I went back into the library and gathered my things.
I just shoved everything into my bag, my thoughts in chaos because of Cha Jungwoo.
I barely managed to take off my glasses before heading back out. I tried to look calm, but my hurried steps betrayed me.
The moment I spotted the silhouette waiting beyond the glass, blood seemed to rush back into my cold body.
The days I’d wasted wandering suddenly felt rewarded by this single moment.
Feeling my heartbeat thud low in my chest, I approached Cha Jungwoo, who had been waiting for me. Seeing him standing there with his hands in his pockets, shoulders slightly hunched, made something inside me boil.
Keeping my face as composed as possible, I reached out and tapped his shoulder.
“…You really stayed.”
Maybe this was my last chance.
“What are you talking about? You told me to wait.”
Cha Jungwoo—maybe this was my last chance not to get tangled up with you.
And yet, right now, I was happier than anyone else.
It felt like a tiny spark inside me had finally grown into a flame.
***
As someone who had always kept a distance from underclassmen, Cha Jungwoo’s consideration actually helped me hide the truth.
Guided by him, the time we spent together felt… almost perfect.
“What do you want to eat? They say this and this are good here.”
“Hmm, I like anything.”
“Hey, you said you’re paying, so at least pick something you actually want.”
I watched Cha Jungwoo chatter on in the relaxed atmosphere of a restaurant now that the crowd had thinned. Only now was I starting to understand what I wanted from him.
…If it had ended there, it would’ve been a perfect—no, a fantastical day.
“What would you like to order, sir?”
“Uh, so… one tomato risotto and… Go Heemin?”
“Yes~ sir, I’m not on the menu. Tomato risotto and what else? Finish your order, Cha Jungwoo.”
The moment that interruption appeared, the smile I’d forced up nearly collapsed. Go Heemin. One of the classmates said to be close to Cha Jungwoo.
Unlike Cha Jungwoo, who seemed indifferent to the world, this guy had eyes that looked like they knew everything.
In simple terms, it meant he probably understood my personality completely. The faint sneer on his face, like he’d picked up some juicy rumor somewhere, was proof enough.
Meanwhile, Cha Jungwoo seemed to think Go Heemin and I could get along.
True to his gentle nature, he glanced between us, trying to keep the atmosphere comfortable.
Well, if that’s what he wanted, I’d play along. That was the only thing Go Heemin and I had in common.
The fact that we both pretended to go along with things because Cha Jungwoo wanted it.
“What are you doing? Pick a menu already.”
“Ah, yeah. Tomato risotto and….”
Using the excuse of taking the order, Go Heemin drew Cha Jungwoo’s attention away and scanned me with wary eyes.
“Tomato risotto, gorgonzola pizza, and a grapefruit ade. That’s right, sir?”
“Yes, that’s correct~”
If you’re done taking the order, get lost already. Somehow, Cha Jungwoo seemed to attract the affection of crooked personalities.
That guy—his style was different, but he was definitely my type of person. A quiet scoff slipped out at his obvious vigilance.
If Cha Jungwoo weren’t here, this would’ve turned into a cold exchange.
In the middle of a silent power struggle only Cha Jungwoo seemed unaware of, Go Heemin suddenly leaned toward him, as if to assert his advantage.
“What? Why are you like that?”
“Mm, nothing~ Jungwoo, do you need anything else?”
“No, idiot.”
I should’ve made my move before Cha Jungwoo got close to that bastard.
“Hey, but you had a part-time job too? This is the first I’m hearing about it.”
“I’m just filling in~ This place is run by Kim Sunwoo-hyung. We had the same morning class, and he suddenly remembered he had a group meeting today and begged me like crazy. Well, Kang Taeyoon didn’t come to school today anyway, so I figured I’d make some pocket money. It’s not even a busy time—just asked me to watch the place for two or three hours. I’m a one-day special part-timer~”
“You’re insane, that’s gross. You learned that from Yoo In-ho, didn’t you?”
“That’s harsh. Anyway, Cha Jungwoo, you know who Kim Sunwoo is, right?”
“I’m not that oblivious to people around me, okay??”
Even as I watched the subtle touches between them, my vision tinged red, but I couldn’t show it, which made my chest feel tight.
I swallowed the sigh that rose to my throat, and Cha Jungwoo, noticing my discomfort, turned toward me.
“Jungwoo.”
I wasn’t someone who let chances slip away, and I knew that removing useless obstacles was the most efficient path.
“Sorry. We were talking among ourselves too much. Hey, Go Heemin. Let me introduce you.”
“Huh? I’m busy though.”
“Cut the crap. Siheon, this is Go Heemin. You might know him… We’re classmates from the same year. I didn’t even know he worked here. He’s just filling in today.”
The way he acted nice only when turning back toward me felt ridiculously fake.
Well, to be fair, I wasn’t much different right now.
As if to say we were the same, I replied indifferently.
“Hi… um, I’m Go Heemin. Didn’t we share a few classes in first year? You look familiar.”
“Yeah. I’ve seen you before.”
After a few exchanges like that, Go Heemin seemed to grow tired of me.
Or maybe he was trying to finish the meal quickly and pull Cha Jungwoo away. The sight of Cha Jungwoo gripping the edge of his apron bothered me.
“This is Siheon—Min Siheon. We take some classes together, and somehow we’ve gotten pretty close. You two have met before too? That makes things easier.”
“Mm. Well, kind of? …I’ve heard a few things here and there.”
“What? Heemin, does that mean you’ve known Siheon longer than I have?”
If you’re going to leave, stop interfering and just go already. I could feel my patience scraping the bottom.
Acting or not, it felt like I wouldn’t get my chance unless I got rid of him.
I didn’t like Cha Jungwoo’s attention turning toward anyone else.
So I decided to remove the obstacle in front of me.
If it meant I could spend time alone with Cha Jungwoo, I was willing to do anything.
As naturally as possible, without drawing attention, moving carefully—just this once, it felt like I could push forward the way I wanted.
And the method turned out to be simpler than expected. …Crash! One small flick of my hand was enough.
