When the body was overwhelmed by pain, waves of rage surged up without warning. It was a searing heat so intense, it made him want to destroy everything—shatter and wreck it all.
It had always been difficult to control, but lately, it had grown even more unruly.
He couldn’t afford to show his subordinates the pitiful sight of losing control over his emotions, so his time spent alone each day had grown longer and longer.
Joo Cheong-gyeong only summoned his most trusted aide to speak.
“I’m…”
His pale face twisted with irritability.
“Wasn’t I chasing after something?”
A flicker of confusion passed over the face of the elderly man who’d kept his head bowed.
“…Sir?”
“I’m asking if I didn’t give a specific order regarding it.”
“……”
The old man looked up at Joo Cheong-gyeong. There was a strange nervousness in him today. He had followed the man for a long time, but never had he seen him like this before.
Even when facing off against Jang Hee-gang, he had never lost his composure.
If he were his usual self, he wouldn’t even have needed to ask whether he had issued a particular order—he simply would’ve remembered.
“You haven’t given any direct orders related to tracking.”
The loyal aide responded without betraying his thoughts.
“…I see.”
Joo Cheong-gyeong fell silent.
His expression made it clear there was nothing more to say, and the old man, sensing it, quietly took his leave.
The door closed without a sound. Left alone in his office, Joo Cheong-gyeong pressed his palm firmly to his forehead.
“……”
When he turned his head, the barren sprawl of the base unfolded beyond the window. The piercing headache that had dulled his senses seemed to ease for just a moment…
Only to come crashing back in again.
“Ugh…”
Gritting his teeth, he braced himself against the desk.
Yesterday had been worse than the day before, and today was worse than yesterday. It had been that way for so long that the idea of ever feeling better was no longer within reach.
And yet, it was as if things had improved recently—because enduring this pain now felt impossible.
Crack. He clenched his fist with all his might.
Blood seeped from the torn skin.
***
It was only natural to be consumed with fury when something you’d devoted yourself to was taken from you. Even if you were the one who took it first—and even if that thing had simply returned to where it rightfully belonged.
[It’s not about my world, you say…]
Would he really have just stood by if his world had been on the brink of destruction?
The round eyes flared with a vivid blue light.
The System looked down upon the world from which Cha Eun-soo had vanished.
The Cores, now completely devoid of any memory of Cha Eun-soo—as if he had never existed to begin with—were visibly confused and disoriented.
The aftershocks that had nearly reached catastrophic levels had been stabilized through external guidance, and the world had returned to its prior state.
[I can’t just leave things like this.]
But the System had already violated far too many taboos. The price paid was steep—it had lost too much of its power.
Bringing Cha Eun-soo back again, or abducting another suitable replacement, was no longer possible.
Even if it were possible, it would all be meaningless if they simply came and took him back again.
[In that case…]
The System came up with a single solution.
It was selfish. Dangerous.
…And yet, for the sake of preserving this world, there was no other choice but to try.
***
The feeling of coming face-to-face with someone you’d only ever seen in dreams.
At first, I thought I’d completely lost my mind—it was fucking insane.
I could feel the brush of lips and breath against my skin, the sensation of fabric against my fingertips… It was just too unreal.
And then, all at once, that thought was drowned out—completely swept away—by the flood of Cha Eun-soo’s story that surged through my head like a tidal wave.
Everything I had dreamed up until now arranged itself perfectly, like puzzle pieces falling into place, forming one seamless, complete memory.
Yeah. Memory.
It wasn’t someone else’s—it was mine.
I was Cha Eun-soo, and Cha Eun-soo was me.
“Hi.”
Lying in the cradle, my tiny hand was gently touched by a young Cha Eun-hyuk. He had an uncanny sense for when I’d wake up, even though I spent over half the day asleep. Most of the time, he was the first face I saw when I opened my eyes. More than my mother, really.
I giggled at the sight of my already-handsome older brother’s face. Then, flailing my arms and legs in delight, I grabbed hold of the finger that lightly tickled the back of my hand.
The soft look on his face as he gazed down at me was adorable. It was funny, watching him dote on me with so much love, not even knowing what I was thinking.
Time flew by.
It was a tender, green spring day.
Holding me in one arm, Hyung stretched his other hand into the air. An orb of ice began to form above his palm, swelling like a snowball. Eyes wide, I reached out to touch it. It was cold and smooth.
“Woooow…”
How the hell was something like this even possible?
It was, quite literally, an unscientific power.
As I watched the manifestation of his ability with awe, cherry blossom petals fluttered down onto my head. The branches of nearby cherry trees were swaying in the breeze, scattering their blossoms through the air.
As if trying to entertain me, my brother gently brushed the petals off me, then took one and froze it solid before handing it to me. It was like it had been laminated—no matter how long I held it, it wouldn’t melt.
Suddenly, I tilted my head up to look at him.
‘Hyung, Hyung. Can you freeze me too?’
“……”
His eyes met mine, as if wondering what kind of ridiculous question that was.
‘You mean, me?’
‘Yeah.’
‘No.’
‘You can’t freeze people?’
It was just pure curiosity—I hadn’t meant anything strange by it. But maybe it sounded a little odd. Still, since I’d already asked, I waited for an answer.
‘I could do it.’
So that meant I could too, right? Tilting my head, I felt him gently pinch my cheek—careful not to hurt me.
‘Like I’d ever freeze you.’
Never.
And then…
The calm green light that usually shimmered in his dark eyes briefly faded.
‘There’s someone else for that.’
The one who should be frozen. Destroyed.
Hyung clenched the orb in his hand.
Crack! With sheer force, he shattered the solid sphere of ice. Sparkling fragments scattered in every direction.
***
Later.
My brother, now grown, stood face-to-face with our mother.
‘Where do you think you’re going?’
Mother’s expression twisted into a scowl.
‘It’s dangerous. I absolutely forbid it.’
‘Mother.’
He looked her in the eye, solemn and steady. But she shook her head firmly.
‘I didn’t stop you from entering the Esper training camp—that was mandatory. But fully committing to that path…’
“……”
‘There are Espers who live like regular civilians, aren’t there?’
Eventually, her tone softened, laced with hesitation.
‘I can’t bear to lose you too.’
The atmosphere in the living room turned heavy.
I had stopped midway down the stairs, watching the family from where I stood.
‘I’m not going there to die.’
His voice was quiet but resolute.
‘I’m going… to protect.’
Eyes filled with unwavering determination turned to look at me.
He had known I was there for quite some time.
I only managed to confess how I felt in that moment long after it had passed.
“Back then… I was scared for the first time.”
At the hotel, where I’d drunk myself stupid and ended up having sex with him.
Lying face to face on the bed, I spoke my confession, and his large hand silently traced down the length of my spine. The warmth of his palm against my bare skin only deepened the haze of languid comfort.
“Hyung…”
“……”
“Hearing that you were doing something dangerous… that scared me.”
I whispered as I burrowed into his arms.
“Even now… can’t you just forget about all that?”
At the time, I didn’t know that the ultimate target my brother was chasing was Jang Hee-gang—one of my own capture targets. So I hadn’t said that to stop him from catching the guy.
It was Joo Cheong-gyeong.
A terrorist with absurd, nearly fraudulent abilities—and a cruel streak to match. It was clear my brother was tracking him, and I was terrified something would happen to him.
Not to mention, Joo Cheong-gyeong was also on my capture list. If he ended up on a death route, it would throw everything off.
It was just… I was constantly anxious that the capture targets might end up tearing each other apart, and that someone might not make it out alive.
As I blinked through the fatigue, he leaned in to press a soft kiss to my lips and answered in a low voice.
“I need to end everything.”
He gently pulled my face to his chest and held me close.
Only then…
“Only then can I stop worrying about all the things that threaten you… and finally focus on you.”
…Yeah.
That’s how it was.
But later, when I found out that he and Joo Cheong-gyeong had joined forces, it felt like getting punched in the back of the head.
And to make things worse, the reason was their shared enemy: Jang Hee-gang. Who was also one of my capture targets…
And the bastard who killed my father.
So, yeah—fuck. It was all a goddamn mess. To forget how conflicted I felt, I ended up sleeping with Shim Tae-seong every single day.
But the truth was, what I had with Shim Tae-seong wasn’t just physical.
Despite his stoic demeanor, he was surprisingly perceptive. That obsessive streak he had toward me? I actually liked it. I liked everything about him.
Most of all, every time I remembered the moment he’d saved me from Joo Cheong-gyeong, this rush would hit me all over again—he was fucking cool.
And my heart would pound like I’d actually fallen in love.
“Did you do all this, Mr. Bodyguard?”
“I hope it suits your tastes.”
He was an insanely good cook. After we moved in, he took it upon himself to handle all the meals. Everything he made was flawless and delicious—it was impossible not to be impressed.
And he could draw. Like, really well.
…Honestly, if this guy were a character in a novel, it would be way too much.
One day, I accidentally stumbled upon a drawing he had done of me—and the shock was intense. It was a portrait of me asleep, captured with such vivid, lifelike detail.
When I saw it… honestly, it stirred something in me. It had been a long time since I’d felt that kind of emotion—touched, and strangely unsettled all at once. Because through that drawing, I could clearly see how Shim Tae-seong had always seen me.
It was warm. The gentle lines that shaped my expression and the atmosphere around me felt incredibly soft, calm, and serene.
A depth of affection I couldn’t even begin to measure—yet could almost touch—radiated from it.
