“I didn’t want to be a Guide anymore. I just wanted to go back to being an ordinary person.”
Whispering that, he shook his head. His knees were soaked with tears.
“But I can’t do that.”
He had things he needed to take responsibility for.
“That’s why I said I wouldn’t go back.”
“……!”
Shim Tae-seong looked down at him, seemingly taken aback. It was probably completely different from what he had thought.
Yeah, fuck. It’s not like I wanted to leave. I was dragged away against my will.
“What do you mean by that……”
“I clearly said that, but before I knew it, my memories had been stripped away again. I was back in the original world, living like nothing had happened.”
He lifted his tear-drenched face.
“But in the end, it’s true that I disappeared without taking responsibility—for Hyung, for you, for everything I’d gotten involved in.”
“……”
“Telling myself it was a situation I couldn’t help… that just felt like making excuses. And I knew just how hard it had been for everyone, so I couldn’t bring myself to use those excuses.”
“……Young Master.”
“I felt so sorry, so ashamed. Eventually, holding on to that guilt was the only thing keeping me going.”
A fresh wave of sorrow and self-loathing spilled out with his tears, falling hard and fast.
“But the truth is, Tae-seong… I’m in so much pain.”
He finally let it out—the festering weight inside him.
Shim Tae-seong had forced him to confront the truth: that all his thoughts of being okay, of enduring through endless self-blame, were nothing more than self-hypnosis. And now the resentment he’d buried burst forth, unfiltered.
“I was scared. And it was so, so hard.”
As if to ask, Was I really supposed to endure all of that?
Shim Tae-seong could only watch him in silence, lost for words.
***
He hadn’t been abandoned.
Shim Tae-seong felt his heart pound painfully in his chest, as though punishing himself for ever jumping to that conclusion.
Even when he’d thought he’d been left behind, he’d never dared to treat Cha Eun-soo carelessly.
And now, hearing that Eun-soo hadn’t turned his back on him of his own volition—
Shim Tae-seong had to restrain himself from smashing the bathtub.
The sheer elation that surged through him made him want to pull Cha Eun-soo into his arms and kiss him right then and there.
But it was the wrong time to be feeling that way—when the person in front of him was crying, wounds laid bare and raw.
“Ugh… hngh…”
Watching Cha Eun-soo sob so hard his face and neck flushed red, Shim Tae-seong finally opened his mouth.
His voice came out low, strained under the weight of the joy he was trying desperately to suppress.
“You have no reason to feel sorry, Young Master.”
To call Cha Eun-soo, who had only ever saved those who were dying, a sinner—was absurd. The guilt belonged solely to those who had craved him. To those who, unwilling to lose him a second or third time, ultimately chose to ruin him rather than let him go.
Shim Tae-seong thought of the other sinners like himself—especially Joo Cheong-gyeong, whose very name summoned a murderous aura.
What would happen if he learned the truth of the day Cha Eun-soo disappeared? If he realized it had been an involuntary escape?
Even someone like Joo Cheong-gyeong might stop overstepping his bounds.
And if that happened… perhaps Eun-soo might begin to see the rest of them in a different light. Even if just a little.
Shim Tae-seong silently watched as Cha Eun-soo wiped the flood of tears from his face with the back of his hand.
Something twisted and selfish began to sprout in his heart—something far darker than mere possessiveness. A feeling so deep it was almost impossible to put into words.
“The fault lies with us—for desiring you.”
“……”
“I’m sorry… for making you suffer. For not letting you go.”
Shim Tae-seong added the words deliberately, lowering his head. His broad shoulders drooped, weighed down by the crushing guilt. The realization that he had caused pain to the very person who had once saved him made his stomach churn, sweeping away any remnants of joy he had felt earlier.
Cha Eun-soo stopped wiping his tears and looked at him.
“…It’s because you’re so honest.”
His damp voice fell over Shim Tae-seong’s bowed head.
“That’s why I keep finding myself being honest with you too.”
Cha Eun-soo shifted his body in the tub to face him. Water sloshed softly, and then moist fingertips reached out to brush against the nape of Tae-seong’s neck.
The slow, gentle touch, as if offering comfort, was heartbreakingly familiar—so much so that at one point, Tae-seong had mistaken it for a hallucination.
“You’re the one who locked me away… so why are you acting like you’re the one imprisoned?”
Shim Tae-seong lifted his head.
That beautiful face was close—too stunning to be captured even in a painting, drawing his gaze like a magnet.
He was certain now: he would never grow immune to Cha Eun-soo, not for as long as he lived.
The warmth transmitted from the hand that had yet to let go was tender, aching. Tae-seong’s body tilted toward him as if entranced.
Eun-soo closed his eyes, as if granting permission. Their lips met, soft and unhurried.
Moist skin rubbed together as they sought each other out. The warmth of their slightly flushed lips deepened, parting naturally as the soft muscle within slid forward.
Their tongues entwined outside their mouths with a wet sound.
“Mmh, ngh…”
Tae-seong’s tongue wrapped tightly around Eun-soo’s, tugging with force and friction, before slowly retreating.
The thick tongue that followed him inward filled the narrow space of his mouth, pressing against the wet flesh inside.
While Eun-soo had his eyes closed, cut off from sight, Tae-seong gazed at him—memorizing every detail.
He tilted his head slightly as the kiss deepened, causing Eun-soo to shiver and instinctively lean back.
Splash!
By the time he came back to his senses, Shim Tae-seong had entered the bathtub, now sitting snugly between Eun-soo’s legs.
And even during that transition, their lips had remained locked like magnets—until a lewd chuup sound broke through.
Focused on the act, Cha Eun-soo realized he had been holding his breath and quickly resumed breathing. Shim Tae-seong pressed his lips to Cha Eun-soo’s flushed cheek and slid his hand downward.
“……Ah.”
His thick fingers unerringly found the cleft between Cha Eun-soo’s buttocks under the water. Cha Eun-soo flinched, gripping Shim Tae-seong’s shoulder. Though his demeanor was gentle and calm, there was an underlying urgency.
His middle finger cautiously probed the entrance. The sensation was somewhat dulled by the water. He rotated the tip of his finger, loosening the opening before gradually pushing deeper.
Soon, his index finger joined, massaging the inner walls, and Cha Eun-soo stifled a moan. Shim Tae-seong lowered his face, kissing the tip of Cha Eun-soo’s sharp chin.
“Mmm, ah.”
“……Does it hurt?”
He asked in a strained voice, concerned because it was their first time doing this underwater.
“No.”
Fortunately, Cha Eun-soo nodded, his face flushed. The sight stirred a deep affection within Shim Tae-seong. He felt his erection, hard since their first kiss, throbbing with excitement. A long breath escaped him as he tried to maintain control.
As he moved his fingers more vigorously, the water splashed around them. Droplets landed on their upper bodies, which had remained dry until then. Shim Tae-seong paid no mind to the clothes he would eventually remove, focusing solely on Cha Eun-soo’s reactions.
“Ah, ah, hah.”
Droplets glistened on Cha Eun-soo’s quivering naked body. His eyes, filled with desire, remained fixed on Shim Tae-seong. Cha Eun-soo was completely absorbed in the sensations Shim Tae-seong was giving him. A deep satisfaction heated Shim Tae-seong’s mind.
Once he was sure Cha Eun-soo was fully prepared, Shim Tae-seong withdrew his fingers. He kissed Cha Eun-soo deeply, tasting his lips, while unfastening his own pants. His exposed erection nudged against Cha Eun-soo’s entrance under the water.
“Ah!”
Cha Eun-soo furrowed his brow as the thick cock slowly pushed inside him. He wrapped his legs tightly around Shim Tae-seong’s firm back, trembling. Shim Tae-seong’s tongue gently soothed Cha Eun-soo’s sensitive palate, while his rough palm stroked his waist and spine, stimulating his outer erogenous zones.
Skillfully calming Cha Eun-soo, Shim Tae-seong fully sheathed himself within the tight, hot passage. Cha Eun-soo, now completely seated on Shim Tae-seong’s lap, turned his head to the side, panting heavily. His inner walls clenched around the thick shaft.
“Ugh……. Young Master.”
Shim Tae-seong tensed his entire body, gently biting Cha Eun-soo’s pale neck without causing pain. The tightness around his member made him want to release immediately.
Resisting the primal urge to thrust mindlessly, he lifted Cha Eun-soo out of the bathtub while still inside him. The unique sensation of being submerged was interesting but not entirely satisfying. Shim Tae-seong wanted to feel Cha Eun-soo fully, without the water dulling the experience.
“Ah!”
The sudden movement caused water to cascade off their bodies. Startled, Cha Eun-soo clung to Shim Tae-seong, wrapping his arms and legs tightly around him. Although Shim Tae-seong’s large hands firmly gripped his buttocks, the full weight of Cha Eun-soo’s body made the connection feel overwhelmingly intense.
“Ah, wait. Why aren’t we staying here? I’m not great with standing up like this,” Cha Eun-soo trembled and moaned.
“B-Bodyguard……!”
“I’ll take you to the bed.”
Shim Tae-seong stepped out of the bathtub and began walking. Cha Eun-soo clung to his neck, gasping with each step.
“Ah! Wait, ugh! Ahh!”
With every stride, Cha Eun-soo’s body bounced, eliciting raw moans. It felt like fireworks were exploding in his mind. The relentless pleasure coursing through him left no room to compose his expression, which was flushed and undone. The intense sensation gripped his insides with each movement.
