He was most likely acting on impulse, overwhelmed by rage. At this point, Shim Tae-seong wasn’t in any condition to be holding himself back for my sake. Not that I disliked that, exactly, but in truth, it was painfully obvious who should be feeling sorry for whom.
And if, by some slim chance, he kept bottling it up only to eventually snap and lose control, it’d end with Shim Tae-seong dead, me dead—everyone dead.
I lowered my head and swallowed back my tears. The air in the middle of the living room, where Shim Tae-seong and I stood facing each other, had gone completely still and heavy.
That was when Shim Tae-seong, who hadn’t spoken a word until then, silently offered me a tissue.
“I’m sorry.”
His voice cracked as he spoke, thick with frustration and guilt.
“I’m sorry, young master.”
It wasn’t the gesture I’d been hoping for, which deflated the moment a bit, but I took the tissue without saying a word. Of course, I also had to resist the urge to just grab his hand and squeeze it tight.
When I wiped my tears and looked up, what I saw was a face contorted in anguish. In Shim Tae-seong’s mind, it felt like his instinct to snatch me up and run was clashing violently with his reason, which screamed at him to stay put.
And it wouldn’t be impossible. Among S-ranks, his ability was the most suited for escape. He’d already proven himself by hiding me once before.
But turning every other S-rank into an enemy, dodging their pursuit, staying safe from monsters… Those weren’t problems that could be brushed off lightly. If he chose that path, he’d have to live the rest of his life constantly looking over his shoulder, gripped by anxiety and paranoia. Even if Shim Tae-seong could endure that, he wouldn’t want to force that kind of life onto me.
“No… I was the careless one. I’ve got no right to raise my voice.”
I muttered in a drained tone, but Shim Tae-seong immediately shut that down.
“Not at all. It’s only natural that my actions came off as hypocritical.”
“…”
“Hit me, yell at me until your anger’s gone. Spit in my face or stab me if that helps.”
He spoke like he’d accept anything I threw at him. It was raw sincerity, plain as day.
This was… what, some kind of twisted mutual self-destruction pact? Begging each other to inflict wounds?
My face twisted again as I pretended to fight back the tears that surged up once more.
“…I told you I’m fine.”
Just let it go. I’ve grown numb to it all—it doesn’t even hurt anymore.
I resented Shim Tae-seong for stirring everything up again, as if to ask, Why won’t you just leave it alone?
His expression mirrored my own anguish, his eyes trembling at the corners. It was clear he wanted to reach out and hold me, but he restrained himself with visible effort.
He didn’t plan to handle me carelessly, nor was he planning to let me go—but he still insisted on being so damn gentle.
I couldn’t bear to face Shim Tae-seong any longer. I turned my body away, unable to look at him.
***
Every word that came out of Cha Eun-soo’s mouth pierced Shim Tae-seong right in the heart. Each time a tear slipped from those pale brown eyes, it felt like his breath caught in his throat. And when Cha Eun-soo bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, Shim Tae-seong wanted to beg him to stop.
This situation—watching the very consequences of Eun-soo’s decisions come to life while doing absolutely nothing—was unbearable. He thought it was pathetic, how utterly useless he was.
Lost in that spiral of self-loathing, Shim Tae-seong saw Cha Eun-soo turn away. It was likely just to get out of the space, nothing more. But to Tae-seong, it felt like rejection, like he was being cast aside—and his heart sank with a painful thud.
That’s why he forgot his promise not to touch him.
His hand shot out reflexively, grabbing Cha Eun-soo’s wrist.
The wrist, exposed slightly from beneath a loose sleeve, landed perfectly in his grasp. From the moment their skin made contact, a tidal wave of longing crashed over him. The twisted energy that had been surging inside him—tangled and threatening to consume everything—suddenly found something familiar. Salvation. And it went wild.
His reason blinked out for just a moment.
“….!”
When he came to, he was already yanking Cha Eun-soo toward him, trying to press their lips together. They were close enough to feel each other’s breath, and Tae-seong barely managed to stop himself from going any further.
Eun-soo looked startled at first, but quickly calmed. He cast his eyes downward, mere inches away from Tae-seong’s face. His pale complexion betrayed no emotion, as if this situation was all too familiar, too routine.
Shim Tae-seong could feel his breathing falter, erratic and shallow.
This isn’t right. This can’t happen.
If he couldn’t even rein in his own desire, how could he ever be the safe place Eun-soo needed? He couldn’t let himself be that kind of man.
His head screamed at his body to let go of Cha Eun-soo. But the hands gripping the guide’s wrist and waist refused to listen. Far from letting go, they only tightened, clinging harder in stubborn defiance.
“Ah…”
Eun-soo flinched at the pain in his wrist and looked at Tae-seong. Gone was the softness from earlier. In its place, those deep, dark brown eyes brimmed with something primal and feral—an unrestrained hunger that burned hot beneath the surface.
And yet, despite that raw desire, he didn’t push in further. He stayed there, trembling, his teeth clenched so tightly they might crack. Eun-soo clicked his tongue silently, watching him with a mixture of disbelief and grim admiration.
So fucking stubborn, he thought. It reminded him of how Tae-seong had been when they’d first met.
“…Bodyguard-nim.”
Cha Eun-soo spoke his name—not coldly, not gently, but with layered complexity. It was a call to the man who endured so much in the name of protecting him.
As if that single word were a trigger, Shim Tae-seong finally released his crushing grip and opened his mouth to speak.
“I’m sor—”
A slender finger pressed lightly to his lips, cutting off the apology before it could finish—an unspoken enough with the sorrys.
Shim Tae-seong inhaled sharply.
He could’ve easily stopped it. Should have. But he didn’t. He allowed that hand to trace across his skin.
The touch wasn’t forceful—it was maddeningly gentle, featherlight, but it sent shivers down his spine. The guiding waves—those powerful pulses of energy transmitted through touch—spread like roots from the point of contact, greedily tasting every drop of that elusive pleasure.
The connection left him euphoric.
Even the simple act of touching with his fingertips was no different from pulling the trigger of a gun aimed squarely at Cha Eun-soo himself. For an Esper barely maintaining consciousness as a rational being, it was tantamount to a Guide laying themselves completely bare and vulnerable.
Cha Eun-soo was fully aware of that fact as he silently gazed into Shim Tae-seong’s face. His dilated pupils and the thunderous heartbeat felt through their contact confirmed just how aroused and overstimulated the Esper in front of him truly was.
Apparently, the message—don’t hold back—had been received loud and clear.
As if possessed, Shim Tae-seong stared at Cha Eun-soo and then suddenly gripped his hand. His head tilted downward, and his cracked, dry lips met soft ones in a kiss. Whatever voice inside him had been trying to keep his urges in check had vanished without a trace.
Cha Eun-soo’s eyelids quivered involuntarily, and a faint moan slipped out. There was no doubt the one kissing him was Shim Tae-seong—but it felt as though something far more ravenous, some other being filled with desperate hunger, was devouring him from within.
Shim Tae-seong let out a ragged breath, then sank his teeth gently into Eun-soo’s tender lips. Without warning, his thick tongue parted a narrow space and slid inside, slowly stirring the warm, slick inner walls of his mouth.
Rather than settling in any one spot, his tongue moved languidly, deliberately, sweeping across every corner with heavy strokes. Eun-soo’s tongue recoiled instinctively, as if it had been ousted from its own home. But even that retreat was seized and sucked in with such greed it felt like he might be swallowed whole.
Tongues rubbed together, and the saliva pooling in their mouths passed back and forth between them. As the wet friction continued, heat crept into their shared breaths.
“Hngh… mmp.”
Eun-soo blinked dazedly, his eyes losing focus in a flash. His foggy vision clung to instinct, and his hands latched onto Tae-seong’s shoulders for support. Shim Tae-seong, holding his staggering body, suddenly lifted him up in his arms and began walking.
Within the haze, Eun-soo’s mind flickered with confusion. Wait… we’re going to the bedroom? Seriously? He still has the sense to use a bed? His eyes look completely gone, though…
He was laid down in a place he’d never entered before—Shim Tae-seong’s bedroom. The plush feel of the mattress pressed up gently against his back. Definitely better than the floor… Eun-soo couldn’t help but wonder if, even in this state, Shim Tae-seong was unconsciously trying to be considerate.
“Ugh…”
As if to say you don’t have time for those thoughts, Shim Tae-seong sank his teeth into the side of Eun-soo’s throat. It didn’t hurt, but the searing heat made his upper body jolt.
Eun-soo wrapped his arms around Tae-seong’s head, feeling the hot, wet glide of his tongue teasing between his collarbones. That odd sensation—of heat and moisture tracing every dip—made his toes curl.
Before long, Tae-seong raised his head and pushed up Eun-soo’s shirt. His gaze immediately locked onto the faint pink nipples nestled on that smooth, pale chest. His eyes darkened.
“Ah—hhng…”
Without hesitation, Tae-seong’s lips descended and closed around one of the buds. As he suckled, the plump nub stiffened and stretched, lengthening under the thick, slow pressure of his mouth. His tongue swirled it inside, savoring the taste, before suddenly flicking it upright with his teeth.
Eun-soo shivered from the jolt.
A man of that massive build, with his face buried in the chest of someone so much smaller, feasting on them—it should’ve looked intimidating. And yet, the one being devoured… was the one trembling the most.
The sounds coming from him grew increasingly sweet and breathy.
“Hahk… B-Bodyguard-nim, ngh…!”
“…”
Shim Tae-seong finally pulled away from the glistening nipple, then straightened his upper body and began undressing. Under the bright lights, thick cords of muscle rippled and flexed with tension, as if asserting their own desire, fueled by his rising arousal.
Cha Eun-soo, cheeks flushed and chest heaving from the lingering stimulation, gazed up at him with dazed, half-lidded eyes—only to be suddenly caught by the legs as his pants were swiftly yanked off.
“…!”
Shim Tae-seong dropped to his knees and tugged Eun-soo toward him. His smooth, hairless legs were lifted together and rested across one of Tae-seong’s broad shoulders.
