It made sense given his private loan debt, and the fact that he was an omega attending matchmaking meetings because of it. It was a common setup often seen in dramas, but once he was actually in that position, it felt different. It made a person feel somewhat shabby and pitiful.
Since it was his reality, he couldn’t just brush these thoughts aside. After all, he suddenly had billions of won in debt that he’d never even seen before. The enormous sum would sometimes leave him breathless, while at other times he’d feel strangely indifferent. This feeling of disconnect from his own situation wasn’t new to him.
Though different in nature, he was experiencing a similar sensation at this very moment.
Riding in a car with Munbeom in this weather felt unreal.
This feeling had probably been there since he first saw him at the matchmaking meeting. Everything—spending the night with someone who should have had nothing to do with him, eating delicious food together—it all felt like a dream. A dream he wouldn’t be surprised to wake from at any moment.
He thought that today might mark his awakening from that dream. He just had the feeling, the sense, that his entire relationship with Munbeom was about to reach its conclusion.
But Munbeom hadn’t brought up or shown any signs of what Yeonwoo was thinking. Did that mean he could expect to see him again after parting ways today?
Would they be able to meet again next time?
Just then, the car smoothly turned a corner, and Munbeom whispered in a low voice.
“Sleep if you’re tired.”
“…No.”
From now on, I shouldn’t miss a single moment with Ho Munbeom.
With this sudden thought, Yeonwoo blinked rapidly and added quietly, “I’m not sleepy.”
“…”
When Munbeom had asked if Yeonwoo had time and suggested they meet today, it had been a spontaneous decision. When he called the second time, Yeonwoo’s voice had sounded more subdued than he remembered. Knowing that Yeonwoo lived alone, he’d thought that if he was actually sick somewhere, that wouldn’t be good. After all, there’s nothing worse than being ill when you’re alone.
The Yeonwoo he’d summoned with various excuses had a different atmosphere about him than before. Things he hadn’t initially noticed due to his mother’s unexpected appearance started to become visible one by one.
Yeonwoo was tense.
Although he had given Yeonwoo rides in the passenger seat several times before, his body was now stiff with tension, as if the gradual comfort they’d developed had never existed. Just like when he first gave Yeonwoo a ride to Gangwon Province.
Perhaps that was why Munbeom, feeling his own tension rising, slowed down.
As they left the mountain road and entered the main road, the rain had thinned. Confirming that the raindrops that had been fiercely pounding the car were now just lightly tapping the windshield, Munbeom spoke.
“Are you hungry?”
“…No.”
“There’s a knife-cut noodle place I know on the way. If you’re okay with it, let’s eat before going.”
It was a spontaneous suggestion, and Yeonwoo didn’t particularly refuse. He just lifted his head to check the sky, as if thinking, ‘Wouldn’t it be better to move when the rain lessens a bit?’ Though Yeonwoo didn’t say it out loud, Munbeom seemed to understand what he was thinking, but he checked the traffic signal and started driving again.
As luck would have it, the noodle shop he intended to visit was closed.
On the door of the old store, which required going further in from the roadside, hung a sign that read “Day Off” written roughly with a marker. Munbeom tapped the sign with his fingertip and moved to the side. Standing in front of the window connected to the kitchen, he peered inside, but no lights would turn on in a closed shop no matter how much he looked.
Though he accepted it as unavoidable, Munbeom was still disappointed. He let out a short sigh and turned around.
Even though the rain had thinned, going back and forth without an umbrella had left his head and shoulders damp. As he got into the car, Munbeom lightly brushed off his shoulders while looking at Yeonwoo.
“Seems they’re closed today.”
That was obvious even from inside the car, since they’d parked right in front of the building entrance.
When Yeonwoo saw the sign on the door and made a small “Ah” sound, Munbeom had gotten out of the car before he could stop him. As if unable to accept that the noodle shop was closed today, he had tapped the sign several times, lingered in front, and only now returned.
Was he that hungry? Is that why he seemed so disappointed? As Yeonwoo was thinking this, he suddenly noticed that Munbeom’s neatly swept bangs had fallen down. Without thinking, he raised his hand to brush the hair back, but hesitated when Munbeom’s eyes turned toward him.
“…”
Even though it was just a gaze, he couldn’t meet it directly, so he hesitated and lowered his hand. Then Munbeom took Yeonwoo’s hand. At first gently, but soon his large hand began to apply more pressure, causing Yeonwoo’s eyes to redden again.
Too surprised to ask him to let go, his bewildered eyes wandered through the air. After repeatedly looking from Munbeom to outside the car window, Yeonwoo mumbled a small “Hand…”
It was already a confined space. Though he knew Yeonwoo would be uncomfortable with this kind of behavior, he couldn’t let go of the hand he’d taken. Although it wasn’t the first time he’d held Yeonwoo’s hand, it strangely felt unfamiliar.
Had Yeonwoo’s hand always been this small? Up close, the slender hand with long joints had small scratches on it, and calluses at the fingertips. Judging by his face alone, one might think he’d never experienced hardship, but his hands told a different story.
Even from the brief investigation into Yeonwoo’s family background, Munbeom could guess that he’d lived quite difficultly. And that was probably still the case.
Knowing the reason Yeonwoo had come to the matchmaking meeting with him, Munbeom’s gaze hardened.
Because he needed hospital bills for his sick father. Even that was probably after being pushed by another father figure. Yeonwoo’s own wishes wouldn’t have mattered in that situation. No, even if he had wanted to refuse, could he have? Yeonwoo was only twenty-one. What choices could Yeonwoo make, having just become an adult?
Things he had never considered before began to catch his eye one by one.
As Munbeom’s expression changed moment by moment, wondering why he was acting this way, a short “Ah” sound was heard. Startled, he looked up and quickly released the pressure on Yeonwoo’s hand when he saw his tense expression.
It seemed he had unknowingly applied too much force while lost in thought. In that moment, Yeonwoo quickly withdrew his hand and looked at Munbeom while holding both hands against his chest. His expression suggested he didn’t understand why Munbeom was acting this way, but there was no sign of dislike in his wide-open eyes. Seeing only surprise and confusion, Munbeom clenched his own hand, which had lost the warmth of Yeonwoo’s small hand.
“That…”
He didn’t know how to explain his behavior.
About to apologize, Munbeom saw Yeonwoo’s clasped hands against his chest. Strangely drawn to them, he reached out without thinking. Enveloping both of Yeonwoo’s hands with one of his own, he asked:
“I couldn’t control my strength. Did it hurt?”
Though Yeonwoo flinched at the fingers that slipped between his palms, he shook his head, pretending not to be affected.
“No, it didn’t hurt.”
“…”
Whenever Yeonwoo seemed uncomfortable or unwell, Munbeom would ask if he was okay, and Yeonwoo would always answer that he was fine. Previously, he seemed to have taken those answers at face value. But now, things that weren’t visible then had come into view.
Perhaps because Yeonwoo’s hands were against his chest, Munbeom felt like he could sense Yeonwoo’s rapidly beating heart through his own hand that covered them. As the heartbeat quickened, a thought occurred to him: Had Yeonwoo, this person, ever been comfortable while with him, even once?
After firmly squeezing Yeonwoo’s hands and then releasing them, Munbeom grasped the steering wheel again. Fastening his seatbelt with one hand, he briefly said, “Let’s go,” and started the engine. The car reversed onto the road and gradually picked up speed.
Neither Munbeom nor Yeonwoo initiated conversation until they reached the vicinity of home. The silence continued until the car arrived at its destination, but the moment wasn’t unpleasant or stifling. For Yeonwoo, who had been lying listlessly on his bed for days, being with Munbeom now was the best thing.
Although Yeonwoo had said he could be dropped off some distance from his home, Munbeom deliberately parked at the foot of the hill that led upward. Even that was a concession. If Yeonwoo hadn’t stopped him, he would have driven up the narrow hillside path.
It wasn’t that cars couldn’t go through at all, but because the road was narrow, he would inevitably face complaints from passersby. Moreover, Munbeom’s car was large. It was probably expensive too, and it would be a big problem if it got bumped or scratched somewhere.
The rain that had been pouring heavily was now in a lull.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
