“I don’t know where you heard such a thing, but it’s not true. Even I wouldn’t do such a thing. Even though we didn’t know each other for twenty years, you’re still my child. To put it bluntly, if I had known Youngha gave birth to you, would I have abandoned the two of you?”
“…”
“Right now, my financial situation isn’t good, so I borrowed a few bucks from someone I know, but I can resolve it soon. Business is like that—you can lose hundreds of millions in a day and receive billions in investment. It can be solved that way. Just because it’s a private loan doesn’t mean you have to think badly…”
“Then you could have borrowed it under your name.”
“…”
“Or under Lee Seongho’s name.”
The light went out again, but before the light disappeared, Yeonwoo saw a sharp flame in Jonghoon’s eyes. It was anger. He didn’t like hearing his and Seongho’s names from Yeonwoo’s mouth, nor the mention of private loans.
He was truly a selfish person. Thinking that he still didn’t feel any remorse towards him, Yeonwoo stared at Jonghoon with eyes gradually becoming accustomed to the darkness.
From the beginning, the plan was to take out a private loan in his name and sell him to pay it off.
As he mulled it over repeatedly, his head started to ache more and more. He didn’t know how to resolve this. Eventually, concluding that the one who should resolve this was not himself but the person in front of him, Yeonwoo spoke weakly.
“Pay off the private loan and fix it yourself. Otherwise…”
“Otherwise, what can you possibly do?”
With a grinding sound of teeth, something approached closer. The moment the entrance light came on, Yeonwoo’s brow furrowed at the sight of Jonghoon right in front of his face. Although Yeonwoo showed obvious aversion, Jonghoon was not in a state to notice it.
How Yeonwoo came to know about the private loan was no longer his concern. Thinking that he first needed to shut this impertinent mouth that was blabbering, Jonghoon’s eyes widened.
“Do you think that money is something that can be resolved by saying, ‘Oh well, I understand,’ if you or I say we won’t pay it back? Not a chance. Even at this moment, your debt is piling up by hundreds. Before the principal doubles, stop being impudent and just do as I say. I’ll set up a meeting next week, so make yourself pretty from head to toe and just keep smiling. That’s the way to save me, you, and Youngha…”
“I don’t want to.”
It was the limit. He could no longer tolerate Jonghoon’s ramblings or his face being right in front of him. Feeling nauseous with revulsion rising, Yeonwoo pushed Jonghoon away with all his might. As the caught-off-guard Jonghoon staggered backward with an “uh” as if about to fall, Yeonwoo grabbed the entrance handle. Then he looked at Jonghoon, who had barely managed to regain his balance.
“I won’t do it anymore.”
The door closed with a loud bang, and immediately the keypad turned. Not satisfied with just that, Yeonwoo also put on the chain and firmly gripped the handle with both hands. Harsh curses could be heard from outside. Saying what insolent act was this, to open the door immediately, asking if he thought this was his house, kicking the door—his actions and words were all exactly like Seongho’s.
What do these people think of me to say such things so casually?
While his head was cooling down, his heart beat faster and faster. With his heartbeat pounding as if about to jump out of his throat, just as his vision was becoming blurry, a strong curse of “Shibal” was heard from somewhere.
“What the hell, mister?! You’re calling the police?! Huh, huh? Where are you running to?! Hey! What are you doing in front of someone else’s house?! If I see you one more time, I’ll make kimchi out of your guts, you know?! You bastard, aren’t you coming here?!!”
“…”
He had a good voice too. Thinking that not only people here but also those in the adjacent building must have heard it all, Yeonwoo bit his lip.
When the person who had been making noise as if to break down the door disappeared, silence suddenly fell. The shouting that had been hurting his ears was gone, which should have made him feel better, but strangely, his heart was more anxious. As he stood at the entrance still holding the handle with both hands, there was a knock-knock sound from across.
“…Hey, are you okay?”
The moment he recognized the voice of the man from downstairs, the strength in his body drained away.
“Should I call the police?”
Would Jonghoon come back here again? No, after causing such a commotion, he probably wouldn’t for a while. Recalling how he had been incredibly servile in front of others, unlike how he was with Yeonwoo, Yeonwoo murmured, “No.”
“…I’m fine. Thank you for helping.”
And he wanted to say he was sorry for the disturbance at such a late hour, but the words wouldn’t come out. Then the man also didn’t say anything more, just saying call me if anything happens. He should have said he was fine this time too, but the words wouldn’t come out. After staying silent with his mouth closed, Yeonwoo replied after a long while.
“…Yes.”
Whether the man heard his answer or not, he didn’t know, but the other side was quiet.
As he let go of the handle, his legs gave way, and Yeonwoo staggered slightly before stepping back and sitting down. For now, it seemed like he had said everything he needed to say to Jonghoon, but rather than feeling relieved, he felt more suffocated.
Yeonwoo knew it too. That his current situation was like spilled water. That he couldn’t clean it up by himself. That in the end, doing as Jonghoon said was both the worst and the best solution, but…
Moving slowly to lean his back against the wall, Yeonwoo looked up at the empty space and then lowered his eyes to the floor. Why did it seem like things were getting more tangled rather than being resolved? Why did it keep…
At that moment, there was a face that unfailingly came to mind, but this time, he didn’t even have the energy to erase it. So Yeonwoo openly thought about Ho Munbeom. The man he had first encountered through the media, who had been impeccable from head to toe at the arranged meeting and a couple of subsequent meetings, and who had been in comfortable attire afterward.
Recalling the occasional upturned corners of his lips and the way his eyes looked at him, Yeonwoo felt strangely melancholic.
***
It had been raining continuously for several days since Monday.
In early April, the sudden downpour was accompanied by strong winds. The sound of the old window rattling as if about to fall off echoed through the empty house. He should check if the window was properly attached at some point, but his body felt heavy. Yeonwoo, lying on the blanket, couldn’t fall asleep but continued to stay that way.
So he wasn’t even sure what day of the week it was. They say if you just sleep, you become a sleepyhead. Saying that the supermarket grandmother’s words were not wrong, Yeonwoo yawned.
Then he lifted his eyelids with difficulty.
“…”
He felt as if he had been swallowed by lethargy.
He wondered if he had ever been like this before, to the extent that not a single grain of motivation remained. This wasn’t good. Rather than lying down like this, wouldn’t it be better to at least go to the hospital?
His father had become much more worried after he had collapsed in front of him. So yesterday too, with the help of the caregiver, Junseok, he had spoken with him on the phone. Unlike Yeonwoo, who was just happy to hear his father’s voice, Youngha was worried about everything.
Whether he was eating properly, if there were any heating issues in the house he was staying in, if nothing had happened to Yeonwoo who was living alone in Seoul. Each time, he always answered that nothing was wrong, but despite that, perhaps Youngha could sense something.
At some point, the conversations that didn’t last long began to be filled with worry and concern. At the same time, apology too. He knew that Youngha was like this because he couldn’t help if something happened to Yeonwoo, but Yeonwoo liked even that. Listening to his father’s words of concern made him feel good. So even if he smiled during the call, as soon as the call ended, the smile on his lips would invariably disappear.
Today too, he expected a call from his father, so he always kept his mobile phone by his pillow. Because of that, there were times when people he wasn’t interested in would contact him. It was Jonghoon or Seongho. After coming suddenly, causing a scene, and leaving, Jonghoon had started trying to persuade Yeonwoo via text messages.
Saying it wasn’t really like that, that there were circumstances Yeonwoo didn’t know about, he sent long messages, but Yeonwoo didn’t even read them in detail. What do you mean it wasn’t like that? It wasn’t even funny. Checking what Seongho had sent was even more ridiculous. With cursing as a base, he was heated and angry, saying it was clear that Yeonwoo had stolen the check and that he would report it immediately.
Now, he only felt that Seongho was pathetic. So he blocked Seongho’s number and, after contemplating, left Jonghoon’s alone.
No matter how much he slept, drowsiness kept coming.
Thinking that if he stayed like this, today would pass just like this, he heard a ding-dong sound. There were no more doorbell sounds after that, but Yeonwoo got up and headed to the entrance. The sound of his bare feet sticking to the damp floor was heard. When he opened the front door, there was a bag containing food outside.
“…”
At some point, the man from downstairs had been providing things like kimbap, snacks, and sandwiches.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
