The nurses who didn’t know what kind of person Lee Jonghoon, his father, was simply rejoiced that Yeonwoo wasn’t alone. They patted him on the back, saying things worked out well. Standing before those who sincerely congratulated him, Yeonwoo felt shabby.
It wasn’t help without a price. These were things he obtained by offering himself as merchandise. But there was no need to go into those details, so Yeonwoo smiled and expressed gratitude.
“What’s all this noise about? Don’t you have work to do?”
The nurses who had been warmly greeting each other around Yeonwoo quickly returned to their stations. Seeing the head nurse who had suddenly appeared, Yeonwoo immediately bowed his head.
“Hello. It’s been a while.”
“…”
The head nurse looked at Yeonwoo, then shifted her gaze to the fruit he had brought.
Being someone who worked strictly by the manual, she wouldn’t touch gifts or food from patients’ families. Knowing this, the other nurses were anxious. They also didn’t accept gifts from patients’ families, but this was Yeonwoo. They understood the sentiment behind the young man’s purchase and hoped the head nurse would be gentle.
After a brief sigh, the head nurse motioned for him to follow and moved ahead. Yeonwoo bowed to each of the remaining nurses before hurrying after her.
When they reached the room, two of the four beds were empty. The other patient had left their bed, with the blanket pulled down.
Yeonwoo walked to his father, who was lying by the window. His face, lying straight, looked peaceful. After staring at his father for a while, Yeonwoo pulled the blanket up to his chest. Carefully holding his hand to avoid the IV, he softly called, “Dad.”
“…”
Initially, it was deeply sad and frightening to see no response despite calling and shaking him. This made visiting the hospital room uncomfortable at times. Though he had grown accustomed to it now.
He felt reassured that the caregiver seemed to be taking good care of his father. The patient gown was clean, and his face wasn’t ashen. Remembering that he had come with the head nurse, Yeonwoo straightened his back. Standing beside Yeonwoo, the head nurse spoke calmly:
“He’s holding up well. These days he tries to receive rehabilitation therapy when he wakes up, even if briefly… But if his condition worsens further, we’ll need to move him to another room. That one has many specialized machines, so the cost isn’t insignificant. I hope it doesn’t come to that, but there are always variables. I’m telling you this because we’re required to inform guardians whenever they visit.”
“…Yes, I already know from before.”
Though she was explaining the worst-case scenario that might arise, there was another intention included. She was offering the option to stop here if they could no longer afford the hospital bills.
Anyone would want to protect their loved ones until the end. But they couldn’t disregard the circumstances of the remaining family. That’s why they provided information about the option to cease treatment as impartially as possible, to reduce the burden on guardians. Even speaking with a neutral face, it was difficult for both the person bringing it up and the one listening.
Yeonwoo made an effort to raise the corners of his mouth.
“He’s lying like this because he’s struggling now, but he’ll soon get up and recover. My father is healthier and stronger than he looks… He’ll wake up after spring passes and summer arrives.”
He’s sensitive to heat, so lying like this must be uncomfortable and difficult for him. Disliking that, he might suddenly shake it off and get up one day. Seeing Yeonwoo’s forced smile, the head nurse quietly patted his back.
“I’ll be outside, so make yourself comfortable.”
“…Thank you.”
Only after the head nurse left did Yeonwoo pull up a chair and sit down. Placing his bag on his thigh, he took out a black bag containing three fish-shaped buns.
Opening the bag, the smell of oily flour and sweetness wafted up. His stomach, which hadn’t had lunch, growled softly, but Yeonwoo pretended not to hear and held out the bag.
“Dad, I brought this.”
You used to buy these for me, but this time I bought them. I think the grandmother who owns the place is unwell. Her daughter was sitting there. When the grandmother was there, the tteokbokki seasoning was strong, but it was thin this time. The price of fish buns has gone up a lot too. I wanted to buy more, but you can’t even finish one yourself.
After chattering busily by himself, Yeonwoo eventually closed his mouth.
“…”
It had been nearly a month and a half since his last visit.
During that time, he had only checked on his father’s condition through calls with Junseok, the caregiver.
Previously, even when he regained consciousness, he would just lie there blankly, but lately he was eating well and keeping himself clean. He had always been particular about cleanliness. If time remained, he would do rehabilitation and walking exercises…
Couldn’t he have made one phone call to him during that time?
Staring blankly at his father, Younghwa, Yeonwoo murmured:
“Were you so resentful that I saved you?”
Yeonwoo murmured with a faint smile:
“But how could I not have saved you, Dad?”
How could I?
With a voice that seemed to retreat inward, Yeonwoo mumbled and dropped his head.
When his father first collapsed and miraculously regained consciousness, he remained silent for a long time. Without needing explanations from others, perhaps understanding everything just by seeing himself lying in a hospital bed, he refused surgery. Saying they couldn’t afford it, he told Yeonwoo not to do anything.
Usually a quiet person, he was surprisingly stubborn, holding out for hours. Seeing Yeonwoo who had rushed to the hospital, his father distorted his face and urgently reached out his hand.
‘Yeonwoo! Take me out of here! I’m not having any surgery!’
‘…’
‘We’re not in a position to afford such things, we have no money!’
Refusing surgery, he lost consciousness and collapsed. As the situation became dangerous with further delays, surgery proceeded only after Yeonwoo, barely an adult, signed a document taking full responsibility. After remaining unconscious for two weeks, his father saw Yeonwoo by his side when he woke up but said nothing. Looking at Younghwa, Yeonwoo smiled first.
‘Dad, your face is all swollen from lying down so much.’
‘…’
Seeing Yeonwoo deliberately smiling brightly, Younghwa turned his head away. Though he desperately tried to hide his face, Yeonwoo couldn’t miss his muffled crying.
Breaking the installment savings meant for Yeonwoo’s college education and combining it with other savings, they barely managed to raise money for the surgery. Since all the savings were in Yeonwoo’s name, he could withdraw the money and pay for the surgery himself. Though this depleted their cash, the success of his father’s surgery was a great comfort. He thought once his father recovered, he could bring him home.
But even after a couple of months in the hospital, his condition continued to deteriorate. Having heard the surgery went well, this was very confusing. Such emotions were useless, especially in front of his father who had suddenly collapsed from shock.
Afterward, Younghwa experienced several shocks that nearly killed him, underwent additional surgeries, and required special treatments. Money flowed out like water. The proceeds from selling their house slipped through their hands. They explored every possible source of money and support method.
During this time, his father regained consciousness a few times. Yeonwoo was simply glad for even those brief moments. But as soon as he called “Dad,” resentment flew at him.
Why did you save me? How much money have you spent? How are we going to live now? From now on, I’ll only cost more money, how will you manage that? This way we’ll both die, why are you trying to die with me?
At that time, Yeonwoo couldn’t understand why he said such things.
He just wanted to save his father and had worked toward that goal. So he thought everything would be alright once his father regained his senses. Without knowing what life would unfold before him afterward.
And Younghwa, who knew about those unimaginable events that awaited Yeonwoo, cried a lot. This caused his fever to rise and his condition to worsen, requiring emergency treatment. Even having a specialist check his condition and prescribe medication cost money. Medications costing tens of thousands of won per pill, even more expensive supplements, caregiver fees, room charges, and so on. Simply breathing cost money.
Knowing this, his father had refused treatment. Once started, he knew it would be like pouring water into a bottomless pot. But even if he could go back, Yeonwoo felt he would make the same choice. Because Dad was his only family.
By the time the fish-shaped buns had cooled and hardened, the caregiver returned. The caregiver who managed patients in two four-bed rooms was a man in his early thirties. Though gruff, the man who diligently performed his duties showed Yeonwoo the caregiving diary he had kept.
Saying that Dad was serious about exercise but still couldn’t eat well, though he seemed to eat some fruit, Yeonwoo mentioned he would leave some money at the desk and asked him to provide fruits that his father liked. Junseok, the caregiver, agreed without showing any displeasure.
Normally, Yeonwoo should have visited more frequently and done these things himself, so he felt sorry for leaving it all to someone else.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
