#104
“Without any reason for approaching him, it simply wouldn’t make sense. When everything around you looks like an enemy, even if someone suddenly offers help, it wouldn’t be welcome. Rather than feeling grateful, he’d be focused on figuring out that person’s true intentions.”
Only then did I begin to understand Tus’s feelings a little. I nodded slowly. Certainly, if someone believed they were surrounded by nothing but enemies, even a sudden helping hand could feel burdensome. He might think this was all Karn’s scheme. Perhaps he avoided help because he knew Yutis was an employee of the Duke’s household.
If the Young Master who had rejected Tus’s proposal suddenly approached him in a different way, anxiety would likely outweigh any hope.
It feels like everything I try is blocked. Perhaps I should wait until Iria defeats Karn in the exam. Once Karn is defeated, the bullying of Tus might decrease a bit.
“Young Master Andelion.”
“Yes?”
“I’m truly sorry to say this, but perhaps it would be better if you stopped concerning yourself with that student?”
Yutis was right. There was nothing I could do. If only I had offered to help Tus back then, maybe there would have been something I could do. But now, after hearing that even Yutis found it difficult, there was nothing I could do for him.
‘Yutis is right. There’s nothing I can do.’
That’s what I should have said. That was the correct answer. Just because I could now control mana didn’t mean my burdens had disappeared. I needed to remain just another student, with nothing special about me except being the Young Master. It was right to refrain from any behavior that might catch someone’s attention. My choice wasn’t wrong. But I wasn’t sure if it was right either.
I couldn’t forget those small, slumped shoulders. The slow footsteps and clouded eyes remained vivid in my mind.
“Yutis.”
Even knowing it was impossible, I spoke to Yutis again.
“Would it be too much to just keep an eye on him? Just until this exam, at least. Karn might take things too far. I know it’s asking a lot, and I’m sorry. I’m just quite worried.”
I recalled Tus’s face, looking at me like someone cornered. Something terrible could happen. Knowing all this, I couldn’t just stand by.
“Young Master Andelion… you truly haven’t changed.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I understand. I apologize. I should have read your intentions better and acted accordingly. I’m still lacking.”
Yutis bowed deeply before me. Startled by his sudden action, I quickly raised him up. Honestly, I was the one who should be sorry. Yutis had his own life, and I had hoped that at school at least, he could be a normal student. Yet because of me, he had to do things like this. It was all my selfishness.
“No! I’m the one who should be sorry! Always making you worry and asking difficult favors.”
“Then, Young Master Andelion, would you grant me one request?”
“Yes?”
“Please speak to me comfortably.”
Yutis is an employee of the Duke’s household. But the only employee to whom I spoke casually was Kara, who had always been with me. Since I spoke formally to everyone, I never felt this way of speaking was strange.
“Would that be alright?”
But seeing Yutis tilting his head, waiting for my answer, I found myself nodding unconsciously.
As if he had been waiting for those words, Yutis broke into a bright smile. It was the first time I’d seen Yutis smile so brightly like someone his age. No, perhaps I had seen it a few times when we were young. I don’t know. I can’t remember.
“Thank you.”
“It’s, it’s nothing really. Anytime.”
I smiled back as I spoke in slightly awkward informal speech. My heavy heart felt a bit lighter.
* * *
Whether as a child or now, moving my body was never my forte. I’ve been consistently taking swordsmanship classes since coming to school, but I don’t understand why my skills remain stagnant. Kara always said this to me when I couldn’t move my body properly:
‘Let’s quickly give up on what you can’t do from the start. Let’s do something else instead.’
Since I had no talent for swordsmanship, I had consistently trained in magic since childhood, but my magic power was so minimal that it was difficult to use proper magic. Thanks to that, I could handle magic power more precisely than anyone else, but still. Of course, now that I had started using mana, I had lost most of that control. It was natural that I couldn’t perform at my previous level when I went from using magic power that obeyed me to using mana that screamed, asking why I should be its master.
“Huff.”
I had too many stray thoughts. I cleared my mind of these various thoughts and focused on the tip of my sword. Kara had said that when moving my body, I should be aware of which parts of my body were being stimulated and which muscles were being used. Of course, she added that this was for practice, and in actual combat, I should fight in a state of selflessness.
Easier said than done. It’s difficult enough during practice, let alone being able to move the sword without thinking in actual combat. I would probably be unable to even follow the tip of my opponent’s sword with my eyes and would likely collapse immediately.
The reason for this sudden sword practice wasn’t for exam preparation or because I wanted to become stronger. Since I became able to move mana like my fingertips, swordsmanship was no longer a subject I needed to pour more effort into. Of course, even if I couldn’t use mana, following Kara’s advice to give up on what I couldn’t do, I would have focused my efforts on other subjects rather than practicing swordsmanship.
The reason I was out here in the moonlight, moving a wooden sword, was to calm my turbulent heart. Since my chaotic thoughts wouldn’t settle, I wanted to at least move my body to release them. With that in mind, I once again raised my sword high and brought it down. The sound of the air being sliced reached my ears.
“Your posture is quite good.”
I turned around in surprise. Dressed in casual clothes, Persis had been watching me while leaning against a tree, though I don’t know for how long.
As our eyes met, Persis grinned.
“It’s been a while?”
I distinctly remember seeing him in the morning and several times after that, yet Persis greeted me with “it’s been a while.”
“I haven’t forgotten that I saw Ana this morning. I know we made eye contact several more times.”
As if reading my mind, Persis precisely pointed out what was bothering me.
“Do you remember the last time it was just the two of us?”
At Persis’s words, I couldn’t say anything. Indeed, recently we were often with Iria or Rikin. No matter how much I tried to recall, I couldn’t remember when Persis and I had last been alone together.
When I couldn’t respond, Persis smiled as if amused. My gaze couldn’t leave his face, where a smile was etched as if melting gently. As Persis slowly approached me, my chest felt constricted.
“See? It really has been a while for us, right?”
“Y-yes.”
“Well, Ana has been so busy lately, what can I do? I’ll have to make time.”
Before I knew it, Persis was right in front of me. I thought he was too close, but I couldn’t step back. It felt like someone was gripping my entire body tightly, not letting go. Tilting his head toward me, Persis placed his hand over mine, which was holding the wooden sword. My body trembled at the sudden warmth. Only then did I think I should step back, but Persis was faster.
Persis turned my body around and supported my back from behind, almost embracing me. All the while, he didn’t remove his hand from mine.
“Persis!”
“Your posture is good, but there’s a slight deficiency. You know, right? That no one in our year can match my swordsmanship. I might even be on par with Rikin?”
That wasn’t the important thing right now. He was too close, and Persis’s hand on mine was too distracting. I considered begging him to stop, but I wasn’t sure if Persis would listen. He might even tighten his grip on my hand, finding it amusing.
As if dancing, Persis gently moved my body to the side and then took a step forward.
“Footwork is crucial in swordsmanship. You haven’t been to social gatherings, but you’ve learned to dance, right? Just think of it as dancing.”
It was clearly sword practice, but Persis’s steps were similar to a dance that’s popular these days. Instead of a luxurious party venue, we were in a clearing untouched by people. Instead of bright lights, we were under moonlight that barely allowed us to see each other’s faces unless we were close. I followed Persis’s guidance in our steps.
All of this was a moment of amusement. It was just Persis playing a mischievous prank. I knew that, but I simply couldn’t pull my hand away. Perhaps there was a reason for this practice. Maybe it was just my misconception that it was a prank, and it might actually help with the exam. That’s how I brainwashed myself.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
