He didn’t want to return to the separate palace or the west wing. He didn’t want to face the silence waiting for him in his bedroom. He just wanted to delay the inevitable a little longer.
In the end, Cayden chose to crouch down under the shade created by a tree. Leaning his back against the rough tree trunk, he closed his eyes again. As he sat there… he couldn’t help but laugh. He found himself utterly ridiculous.
Now Cayden no longer waited for Amun. He no longer needed to hope for Assad’s visit. He would no longer pace around his spacious bedroom with excitement at the prospect of welcoming a guest. He couldn’t do that anymore.
Throughout the last day of the rainy season, Cayden just sat in a corner of his bedroom. Thinking meaningless thoughts over and over again.
After the rain stopped, he left his bedroom. Just as he had escaped to the balcony when he couldn’t adapt to the overwhelmingly large and beautiful room given to him, he fled to the Garden of Light when he couldn’t bear the afternoon silence.
The Garden of Light knew the painful truth that Cayden couldn’t confess to anyone else. Only this garden, nestled in the middle of the separate palace, felt like his sole confidant. Cayden often had such foolish thoughts.
“…”
Cayden caressed the bracelets hanging on his left wrist and the thin ring protecting his ring finger. He unconsciously touched them whenever he felt anxious. It seemed like it would remain a lifelong habit. Someday, he would have to leave these behind in a corner of his bedroom too.
“His Highness is still unwell,” Lihet had informed Cayden.
She told him that Assad had caught a terrible cold. Everyone was puzzled as to how the healthy Crown Prince, who had never once fallen ill, had ended up bedridden. She also joked to Cayden not to worry, saying that the healing mages had put in their efforts, so he would recover soon.
“…”
Cayden was worried about Assad.
Assad wouldn’t want his concern, but Cayden couldn’t help being worried.
However, he couldn’t visit Assad. He was told that an order had been issued not to let the Crown Prince’s consort anywhere near the east wing in case the fever might be contagious. It was Assad’s direct order. It became impossible even to briefly check on his face from a distance and return.
‘After nagging me so much about taking care of my health…’
It would be better if I were the one who was sick, Cayden thought while fidgeting with his layered bracelets.
Cayden’s love hadn’t crumbled or faded from the rain. It was simply like a puddle holding lukewarm water, embracing the heavy downpour that had carved through soft mud.
To still love someone who didn’t want him was utterly pathetic. Even so, Cayden couldn’t hate Assad. He couldn’t resent him either. He could only love Assad.
“This alone could never be your flaw.”
Assad had told him that his unsightly scars weren’t flaws.
He had taught him the imperial language without showing a hint of irritation and whispered about a world unknown to him every day. Solely for him, he had made snow fall. He had found him when he suddenly disappeared. He had given him an incredibly beautiful gift. He had gently wiped away tears that were unpleasant to look at.
Assad had shown him that an alpha could be gentle to an omega in heat.
“I can smell your pheromones. They have a nice scent.”
He had genuinely liked the shabby pheromones that people disliked. At least in front of Assad, he had made it possible for him not to be ashamed of his pheromones.
Assad had granted his absurd requests. He had allowed him to go to the North and had accompanied him to Emma’s wedding. He had whispered dreamlike stories. In a dark alley, he had fought for him.
And Assad… had told him he wasn’t guilty. He said he hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Cayden. I will protect you.”
“No one, absolutely no one, can treat you carelessly.”
Assad had promised to protect him. He wished that he wouldn’t be hurt.
How could he resent such a person? How could he not love him? Cayden didn’t know how.
It was okay even if everything Assad had shown and given him was just an act to get what he wanted. It was fine even if it was mere charity, no different from tossing a coin to a beggar in the back alley. At least, the happiness he felt when he was with Amun and Assad was real. So it was okay.
The rain had stopped. His floating heart had settled down like before. The resentment and sense of betrayal that had briefly visited him had vanished without a trace.
Cayden was willing to grant whatever Assad wanted.
“For the rest of your life… you must stay by my side. Where my eyes can reach you, where my hands can reach you. You must.”
But he didn’t want to become Assad’s concubine or something similar. He didn’t want to be hidden in a dark corner of this vast imperial palace, like the small room next to the wine cellar at the farm. He didn’t want to only be able to steal glimpses of Assad’s face when they were intimate.
He didn’t want to bear children in place of Assad’s bride who might be weak, nor did he want to care for the child while pretending to have no relation to them. He found himself thinking this way despite knowing that Assad despised the immoral and promiscuous lifestyle of the kingdom’s nobles.
What if he hadn’t gone to the garden? What if he hadn’t overheard the conversation between Assad and Mat… what if he had continued living in ignorance? What then?
Perhaps he would have spent his time trapped in a great delusion, carrying Assad’s smiling face in his heart as he left Helio. That is, if Assad’s words about not negotiating with him were true, and if he eventually grew tired of his body.
It was a worthless, idle fantasy.
Mocking himself, Cayden once again ran his fingertips over his bracelets. The lines of the two bracelets—one from Amun and one from Assad—overlapped again. The jewels collided, making a clattering sound. A sound that resembled Cayden’s anxiety.
Really, was everything… just fabricated lies?
“But Cayden, I don’t think like that anymore. I was going to stop pretending to be Amun. Before the end of this rainy season, I was planning to honestly reveal everything I had hidden from you.”
Cayden recalled Assad’s denial once more. Just as he had done sitting on the bed yesterday, he sifted through the past, hoping to find even a fingernail’s worth of sincerity in Assad’s words. It was pointless attachment.
‘Why did God bring me to Assad’s side, of all places?’
Was it to teach him the lesson that even Assad, who stood with him on a fate blessed by God, would never love someone like him?
“…Perhaps so.”
A hollow laugh escaped him.
Light glimmered through the pointed green leaves. Cayden silently gazed at that light. He wished time would pass quickly. For the first time since coming to Helio, he had such a thought.
Cayden wanted to believe Assad. However, he didn’t yet have the courage to trust him.
- Wind Blowing in the Desert
A new summer arrived in Helio after the rainy season ended. The sun greedily devoured the moisture left by the ten-day rainy season. The midday light became even sharper.
The annual event that followed this new summer was none other than the subjugation of magical beasts.
When the God who had finished his work removed the dark clouds and left the desert, the imperial family of Helio, along with honorable warriors and hunters, crossed the Iaro River toward the scorching land. It was to proclaim the beginning of the magical beast subjugation period.
The magical beasts roaming the desert varied in appearance and danger level. However, they were all excellent resources with their own uses. In crude terms, they were worth money. Although one had to risk their life to earn that money.
Desert warriors and magical beast hunters gained money and honor by capturing magical beasts that had lost their senses. However, hunting magical beasts wasn’t possible at just any time. This was because they had to abide by the words of God, who believed that although these beasts were tainted by evil, they were still lives to be respected.
The hunters had no choice but to find a justification for their actions. They sought out magical beasts that had harmed nomads wandering the sands, those that had attacked cities and villages, and those that troubled caravans that had no choice but to cross the desert. There were also those who only pursued magical beasts with imperial bounties on them.
But all of this was before the rainy season. When the rainy season ended and a new summer came, the situation changed.
The new summer was the time when magical beasts, newly born and strengthened deep beneath the sand, looked upward. When the world teemed with magical beasts, even the words of God naturally lost their power. It became an inevitable time to subjugate magical beasts. It was for survival.
The announcement of the beginning of the magical beast subjugation period was typically made by the heir who would inherit the Emperor’s crown.
When the heir, over the age of 15, completed the first magical beast hunt of the new summer, the warriors following him blew long trumpets to announce to the world that the magical beast subjugation had begun. It marked the arrival of the brief yet long hunting season.
The protagonist of this hunt was Crown Prince Assad Mekerius. Naturally, the Crown Prince’s partner accompanied him. This was thanks to an old superstition that the presence of the Crown Prince’s consort and the Crown Princess’s consort would protect the heir from magical beasts.
The journey began early in the morning, after the priests and the high priest performed a ritual informing God of the arrival of the subjugation period. The first destination of the subjugation party was a fairly large campsite set up in a place where safety had been guaranteed by the hunters.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
