#70
I still haven’t gotten used to it.
Isn’t this affection a trap?
No, it probably is with high probability. The nullification ability must be that rare and precious. Since it’s almost certain that Ersen became the medium for the curse they’re under, they might be mistaking it for an even more powerful force. The ‘dispelling’ that a medium provides would be that effective.
‘So it must be a trap.’
It would all be false.
Even knowing that, I like it.
I just liked it.
That was the problem. Continuing to think it would be nice if this continued like this, in this unadapted state. That was the problem. If that wish lasted long, I would eventually come to expect it. And expectations become weaknesses.
‘Even if I never get used to it for the rest of my life, if this state could be maintained until I die……’
It was truly sincere. Now that I felt it would be enough if even brief peace continued until I died, I realized how exhausted I was.
Ah. That won’t do.
I caught hold of my mind. If I didn’t hold my head every time I swayed, the end was always collapse. I knew too well that the moment I let my guard down, my body reacted first.
Again…….
‘I’m losing focus like this again.’
Familiar self-loathing came. The kind of emotion that wouldn’t be completely erased even if consciously driven away. I knew that I was too easily swayed by people who spoke kindly to me, people who took care of food for me, people who stayed with me.
“Your Highness? Why do you look like that?”
At Sercil’s voice, I suddenly returned to reality. Realizing that my mind had gone somewhere, I was momentarily flustered but soon organized my expression.
“It’s nothing, Fairy-nim.”
It was a lie. Even knowing he couldn’t not know, I answered like that. It was familiar avoidance. But Sercil no longer passed it by silently like before. Though he didn’t strongly object to the fairy title like before, the emotion within had definitely changed.
Had I let my mind wander again because the peaceful time had continued too long?
A brief silence swept in. The silence was transparent like glass, making it feel like the private soliloquies from just before were spreading out as they were. There was a mix of relief at not being caught and temptation that it might be okay to be caught.
I quietly shook my head.
And turned my gaze back to the soup bowl. It was cooling down and was still only half empty. Just as my hand was about to move again on its own, something moved slightly across from me.
Now the cute Sercil, who didn’t even object to being called Fairy-nim anymore, recommended vegetables with a pouty expression.
He briefly dipped the spoon he was holding into the soup and pulled it out, scooping up a portion with more vegetables onto the spoon. His cheeks were puffed out, his eyebrows were pointed downward in a half-angry shape. However, his lips were ultimately swallowing back laughter.
“You should eat them together for your health.”
His words were firm, but his voice was affectionate. His words were always like that. Seemingly sharp, yet warm.
“Mmm.”
I answered weakly. An answer where breath came out before words. Sercil, as if accustomed to such reactions from me, turned his head and brought a spoon to his own soup as well.
Feeling somewhat dazed, I looked at Sercil, whose presence beside me had gradually become natural.
When had it started? When had his being beside me begun to feel natural? Among the people who approached me due to the peculiarity of nullification, the person who gave his heart the fastest. Perhaps, the person who would become dangerous the fastest.
“I’m worried. You’re resting as much as possible and taking medicine too. Why doesn’t it seem like you’re getting better?”
Sercil’s words were direct, but they contained worry as they were. The person who checked my condition every morning, examined my physical state as if recording progress, and took care of medicine and meals more faithfully than doctors. Such a person carefully lowered his eyes in front of me.
“Maybe it’s just because my stamina was rock bottom to begin with……?”
It was an excuse. Defense, not a reason. My body was deteriorating faster than I could afford not to say even that much.
“Don’t you think the time for dismissing it as a stamina problem has passed?”
Sercil frowned slightly at those words. His tone remained the same, but his gaze was firm. An expression that seemed to say he wouldn’t try to believe me anymore.
……Enduring the offensive of the half-demons and the young lady alone for several days was more tremendous than expected.
The feeling of my mind being torn to shreds. Parts of my memory became distorted, my vision was blurry, and my body wouldn’t move as intended. Not only external stimuli, but there was also the sensation of rupture constantly surging from within.
‘Really, it’s more powerful than expected.’
I didn’t know it would be this much. That it would crumble this quickly. At first I predicted to some degree, but now it was far beyond that level.
To an incomprehensible degree.
That power wasn’t simply violent. It spread calmly, systematically, like poison that gradually burrowed in. The half-demons weren’t simple beasts.
There was no way Sercil had received this level of attack before regression.
This was an offensive of a completely different dimension. Who was pouring out such full effort for what reason? For what exactly? Why only to me? Such questions constantly arose.
If the Sercil of that time had experienced such an offensive, he would have died quickly for sure.
The curses that initially felt like pranks were now focused on murder with each move.
The target was certain. Not ‘someone other than me,’ but ‘precisely me.’ So clearly that no one could doubt it, all directions were aimed at me. At first I thought it was just a threat. A warning, or demonstration. But not now. They were definitely trying to kill me.
Both curses and black magic.
The methods weren’t clumsy either. As time passed, the techniques became more sophisticated, more secretive, and above all, increasingly lethal. The early attacks seemed to emphasize effects that showed on the surface, but now it was different. It was about blurring senses, shaking psychology, and collapsing from within. This meant someone was calculating meticulously.
‘No, honestly I can’t even distinguish between the two.’
Them and me. Everyone was using curses and black magic interchangeably. Whether they actually originated from the same source, or whether it just felt that way because the effects were similar, I couldn’t be certain. But what was clear was that all attacks being made on me now penetrated more sharply and deeply than before.
Honestly, maybe it was because I didn’t know much about black magic, so I was confused about whether the young lady also handled curses.
Isabella Marsien. She was a noble young lady and outwardly acted like a cultured royal patron. But what I felt was something beyond that.
When I first faced her, and when she approached me, the vibration of magical power I felt couldn’t be explained by simple black magic alone.
‘It was a strangely familiar feeling.’
But the only magical power familiar to me was that of the four people I loved.
‘Then what?’
It was a sensation that seemed very old.
Moreover, that reaction.
‘Really strange. Something’s strange.’
What reason did she have to target me this much? The Isabella in my memories before regression wasn’t this aggressive. She merely followed the flow of power and made moves to maintain her position. But now she seemed to be staking everything to destroy me alone.
Actually, I was somewhat gripped by fear now.
It took time to admit that. But now I couldn’t deny it. From head to toe, all my nerves were on guard. Night after night continued where I couldn’t sleep, thinking about what curse might come through which gap at any moment.
Because the baseless anxiety that events wouldn’t unfold according to the original work’s flow kept getting stronger.
That wasn’t simply because of ominousness. Several decisive variables had already emerged. The fact that I knew the flow of the original work, and that flow was gradually being twisted. That fact was pushing me into deeper tension than fear.
‘The fact that Lady Marsien has been collaborating with the half-demons for a long time, and that she’s using assassins against me who’s in the Crown Prince’s palace at this time is also strange.’
This wasn’t a simple revenge play. It wasn’t emotion, nor was it a warning. For the half-demons who considered efficiency and strategy, and at that in the heart of the Empire, to launch an attack when I was in such a conspicuous position—even from their standpoint, it was a choice with great risk.
Too…… it was too bold for half-demons of this period.
The early them always moved in the shadows. They avoided direct confrontation by moving high nobles, bribing people, or stealing things. The ‘them’ of ‘that time’ didn’t dare confront the Empire head-on. But now, they were implementing all the things they had hesitated about one by one.
Until the Archduke was trapped in an illusory prison like Eris’s relic due to the half-demons’ offensive, and his curse strengthened from that incident, the half-demons had mainly chosen the route of using others.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
