Chapter 118
As Director Nam approached, Yoo Siwoon spoke quietly.
“…I shouldn’t have brought it up. I should have just kept denying it until the end.”
“It’s not something you can hide forever, and Eunseong should know someday.”
With the sleeping Eunseong before them, they conversed in significantly lowered voices. Director Nam pressed the button to draw the curtains on Eunseong’s room window. With a small mechanical sound, the half-parted curtains came together in the middle, removing the afternoon light that had been seeping in hazily and darkening the room.
“I don’t understand. He was never someone who did anything properly for him.”
“He told me the same thing. He said he had thought at times that the man might not be his real father.”
At Director Nam’s words, Siwoon’s gaze, which had been endlessly fixed on Eunseong, turned to him. Director Nam stood silently, staring intently at Eunseong’s pale face as he slept exhausted.
“Then why is he reacting like this?”
“He’s still too young to handle such things. It must have been a shock. More than sadness or longing. Whether blood-related or not, they lived as father and son for twenty years. There must have been some love-hate relationship.”
“…”
Director Nam wanted to tell this man—who was doing terrible things to a child who couldn’t even accurately understand his feelings toward a father who had mistreated him, and who could only collapse and cry—to realize what he was doing. What exactly was he doing to this newly adult child who truly knew nothing?
“Uh, CEO. Excuse me for asking this.”
“If it’s impertinent, then don’t ask.”
“Are you practicing proper contraception?”
As soon as the response not to ask came, Director Nam posed his question.
Siwoon’s eyes turned toward him.
“What do you mean by that?”
“…I saw you taking Jeokdan. I roughly know what kind of herb that is.”
“No, Director, you don’t know. You probably only know that eating it allows one to have a son.”
“Then it seems I’m correct.”
Siwoon wasn’t even thinking about having a son. Without taking Jeokdan, his spiritual eyes wouldn’t open, and he couldn’t feel Eunseong. Perhaps it was like a placebo effect, a delusion of his mind, but Siwoon believed that without taking it, he couldn’t fully sense and detect his partner. Only those who had experienced it would know what that sensation was like, and Director Nam would never know what it was.
He didn’t want to miss even the slightest moment of breathing together, and wanted to feel every single one of Eunseong’s fine hairs. When he took Jeokdan, the intensity of that response increased compared to usual, and Siwoon didn’t want to miss that moment.
Siwoon stared intently at Director Nam, who had brought up such an impertinent topic. His eyes seemed to say, if you have something to say, go ahead.
“Eunseong suddenly having a mild fever and being unable to control his emotions, crying like this… as you find it strange too, it could be a hormonal imbalance. You know better than anyone what kind of body Eunseong has.”
“So it wasn’t just me who found it strange.”
He was talking about Eunseong’s much more intense reaction than expected to the news about his father. It was clear that Siwoon, like Director Nam, considered Eunseong’s behavior to be unusual.
Director Nam was confused by Siwoon’s words. Siwoon would not have overlooked the possibility of pregnancy while having relations with Eunseong. Knowing, being fully aware that such a possibility existed, Siwoon was committing willful negligence, and it was clear he was considering pregnancy. Feeling a chill at this fact, simultaneous disgust and anger toward him boiled up inside.
“It all matches the prophecy. You taking Jeokdan… is that your purpose?”
“Purpose? When you say ‘purpose,’ it sounds impure.”
Eunseong’s existence had taken away Siwoon’s sense of shame, his intellect that distinguished right from wrong, leaving only irrational blindness. In the past, when he didn’t know Eunseong well, there were times when Director Nam had hoped Siwoon would use Eunseong to take control of the Seongha Group, but now that he knew Eunseong as a person, that was not the case at all. It was a terrible thing even just to intend. Moreover, the person involved knew nothing of this.
“You must stop.”
“Stop what?”
Siwoon calmly asked back, pretending not to understand Director Nam’s direct words.
“I’m talking about what you’re doing to Eunseong.”
Eyes that blindly thought of only one thing, wanted only one thing. A possessiveness close to madness that couldn’t tolerate anyone but him.
Because he wasn’t of their bloodline, Director Nam couldn’t understand at all. How had it come to this, why had that man’s eyes become so turbid, why only blind ignorance remained.
He even suspected that taking Jeokdan had truly clouded his judgment.
“My actions?”
“I’m talking about the possibility of pregnancy. Taking Jeokdan on top of that, without practicing contraception.”
“So what?”
“…”
“Is there a problem with that?”
Siwoon carefully removed his hand from Eunseong and got up from the bed. He walked toward Director Nam, who was standing firmly. Director Nam retreated hesitantly, as if intimidated by the fierce look in Siwoon’s eyes.
Driven out to the door and pushed outside the room, Director Nam looked at the door closing behind Siwoon’s back and then turned his gaze to the man standing before him. Director Nam took a deep breath and said:
“How exactly do you view Eunseong?”
“I don’t view him in any particular way.”
“How are you any different from those people now?”
“Different from those people? Who are ‘those people,’ and what’s the difference?”
“I’m asking what you’re doing to a kid who just turned twenty!”
“What, have you decided to become that kid’s father? Have I kept you two together too long?”
“…CEO Yoo Siwoon.”
An emotion more intense than displeasure rose to Director Nam’s face. His face turned pale and then quickly became cold.
“Who are you empathizing with right now?”
“I’m empathizing with someone in their right mind.”
“…What, are you trying to say I’m not in my right mind?”
“…”
Director Nam couldn’t bring himself to say so explicitly, but his expression said it all—not just not in his right mind, but insane.
“I guess I’ve been too informal with you, Director.”
“CEO, please!”
Director Nam barely swallowed his rising emotions, wanting to say that wasn’t what he meant, to come to his senses, as he called out to him.
“Aren’t you acting exactly like those people you hate so much! Exactly like those crazy Yongse Pacheon Church people!”
“…”
“Eunseong is not something like the ‘Great Crevice.’ What do you think Eunseong is? Eunseong is… Eunseong is just someone who ran away because he was suffering from unrequited love for you, who wants to go to university in Seoul, who likes spicy tteokbokki and chicken… Just a kid.”
His unusually wavering voice made a rough, blunt appeal, but there was no change in Siwoon’s eyes, which disappointed Director Nam extremely. Even falling requires talent, but his fall was sloppy and knew no bounds.
“The way you’re talking makes it sound like I’m doing something terribly wrong to Eunseong.”
“Are you saying I’m wrong?”
“I’m just loving him. Is that a problem?”
“…”
There was no communication. Siwoon wasn’t pretending not to understand what Director Nam was saying; he knew everything but firmly believed his actions weren’t wrong, and to Director Nam, this appeared exactly like brainwashed believers of a heretical cult.
He turned his gaze away from the man who was staring at him with transparent eyes. Director Nam bowed to Siwoon and hurriedly turned around.
“…I still have unfinished business, so I’ll be going now.”
∞ ∞ ∞
Eunseong, who had been sleeping soundly, suddenly jerked as if having a nightmare, his body trembling, and opened his eyes. Siwoon, who had been sitting beside him watching over him, approached, cradling the startled Eunseong’s cheeks.
“Eunseong.”
“…Haa, haa.”
“Are you awake? Are you alright?”
“…Ah, haa… ahjussi.”
Seeing Siwoon, Eunseong exhaled a deep breath of relief, as if his tense body was loosening.
“Thank goodness. I had a really scary dream. I was so startled.”
He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, saying he’d even broken into a cold sweat, and unsteadily raised his upper body. Siwoon’s hand supported him, embracing his rising back. Eunseong looked with puzzled eyes at the intravenous drip inserted in his arm and the fluid tube.
“…Huh? What’s this?”
“I had you put on an IV. You seemed really sick.”
“Don’t tell me a doctor came?”
“Don’t worry, no pants were removed. He just gave you an injection in your arm and left.”
“Ha, ha… not funny at all. I do feel a bit better, maybe because of the IV. I really had a bad dream. That ahjussi said my dad died…”
“…”
“…”
Eunseong, who had been muttering as if rambling about how really absurd and nonsensical the dream was, slowly came to a stop. His surprised eyes turned to Siwoon. As he faced the man looking at him with a troubled expression, he realized it wasn’t a dream, that it was something that had already happened, that it was reality, and he froze, turning pale with shock.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
