Chapter 191
Though not much time had passed, both of them felt as if all that chaos had happened in the distant past.
In the end, it only ended after Yoo Siwoon experienced something equivalent to death. However, the emotional confrontation between Eunseong and Yoo Siwoon was still ongoing. At least the direction had changed—they were no longer holding daggers toward each other.
“Now you no longer need to do things that don’t match your taste. You can wear clothes you actually like. With a face that would never look thuggish no matter what you wear, you must have suffered quite a bit.”
Director Nam felt relieved that such pretenses were no longer necessary.
“Thuggish taste… matching that dress code was truly torturous.”
Yoo Siwoon also shook his head, reflecting on the years he had lived putting on such a show. Director Nam burst into laughter at his disgusted reaction.
“You’ve suffered wearing things you didn’t like for over ten years. It’s all over now.”
“Indeed. It’s all over now.”
The fugitive elders’ council executives had all been arrested and would never see the outside world again. Though a faction had been created, they had planned for it to be exposed soon that the apostle was a con artist with 14 prior convictions. The Yongse Pacheon Church, which had lasted for over two thousand years, was weakening like a lie. Everything felt distant, almost unbelievable that it could disappear so easily.
“Since you’ve rested well, you should return to work starting tomorrow.”
“Give me a break. I can barely walk properly.”
“I’ll prepare a wheelchair.”
Yoo Siwoon furrowed his brow as if he had misheard.
“…Are you serious?”
“I am serious.”
Director Nam retorted to Yoo Siwoon, who seemed to wonder why he would lie.
“You want me to go to work in a wheelchair?”
“Yes. You said walking is difficult. Wheelchairs exist for when people have trouble walking.”
“…”
“I’ll be going now. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
Director Nam bowed and turned around. After leaving Yoo Siwoon’s bedroom, he looked for Eunseong. Eunseong was sitting by the window in his room. He had his cheek resting on his knees, which he had drawn up, staring blankly outside.
It was fortunate that only he could see Eunseong sitting melancholically in front of the beautiful garden that looked like a framed picture. If Yoo Siwoon had seen him, he would have lost his mind and said something crazy again. At this moment, Director Nam was grateful for his consistent identity as someone unaffected by men.
“Eunseong.”
Though he hadn’t responded to the knock, he turned around when called.
“I’m leaving work now.”
“…But what about ahjussi?”
“You’re here, aren’t you?”
“He needs to eat dinner too.”
He would need to prepare meals for him and might even need to feed him. He was a patient. A sick person who needed help. He needed assistance whenever he had to go to the bathroom, bathe, or move around.
Director Nam answered casually, as if it wasn’t a big concern.
“You’re here, aren’t you?”
“…”
“Are you still finding a way to forgive him?”
“…Not yet. I still get angry when I see ahjussi’s face. I hate him, hate him to death and want to hit him, but because he’s so sick, I can’t hit him, and that makes me angry too.”
Eunseong made a tearful face. He seemed to feel sorry for the sick Yoo Siwoon. The amplitude of his once sharp emotions seemed to be gradually decreasing.
With the Yongse Pacheon Church gone and no more threats, the misunderstandings about Yoo Siwoon had also been resolved. Director Nam vowed not to interfere in their relationship anymore. One of them had already gone through a near-death experience. Now that the worst scenario he could imagine had occurred, it felt like having taken the first blow—nothing that happened afterward would surprise him.
“The CEO’s condition is not good. Don’t hit him. It would be better if you didn’t touch him at all. You shouldn’t stress each other out.”
“…”
“I’m leaving now. See you tomorrow morning.”
Director Nam really left, leaving behind Eunseong who was staring with wide, surprised eyes. Through the living room window, Eunseong could see his car disappearing without hesitation.
Left alone together in the large house, though they weren’t physically close, Eunseong suddenly felt like his breath was caught in his throat.
During Yoo Siwoon’s hospitalization, he had been alone in this desolate house the entire time. There had been no watching eyes that choked him, no anger that pricked his flesh with every encounter—it had been quiet, as if emotions had been lost.
In the end, what they both needed was a space to refresh their relationship.
Eunseong looked at the garden with its swaying blue light, resting his chin on his arms which were placed on his knees.
“…”
Yoo Siwoon had lived alone in this house for a long time. In a place where the noise of the city was barely audible, where only the sound of wind brushing through lush leaves could be heard, he had lived alone for a long time.
He was an extremely quiet person who enjoyed stargazing, drinking coffee, gardening, and reading books.
Eunseong had entered the life of such a person, disrupting and disturbing him. While staying alone in this quiet house, he realized that he had stirred up trouble like muddying clear water.
As he sat listlessly, time steadily passed. The sun gradually set. The garden darkened, and his stomach growled. Eunseong looked at the clock. It was past six in the evening.
Yoo Siwoon was so quiet that it was impossible to tell if he was even there, and Eunseong too remained still, not making even the sound of breathing.
Eunseong finally rose from his seat. He headed toward Yoo Siwoon’s bedroom. He knocked, but there was no response from inside. There was a limit to how quiet things should be. Such silence could mean an accident. As soon as an ominous thought crossed his mind, Eunseong flung open the bedroom door.
Without having changed his position, Yoo Siwoon was half-lying on the bed with his back against it. A laptop was placed on his legs, perhaps for work.
Upon seeing Eunseong, Yoo Siwoon closed his laptop and raised himself. Due to moving carelessly, he seemed to have irritated his wound, as he furrowed his brow while swallowing a painful groan, but he still managed to sit up.
“…”
“…”
Despite the force with which he had opened the door, Eunseong just stared at him without saying a word. After quietly looking back at Eunseong, Yoo Siwoon asked:
“…Is something wrong?”
“…”
Though he would try to die without Eunseong, though he would certainly die, Yoo Siwoon, believing that Eunseong disliked him, perfectly hid his emotions and pretended otherwise, his eyes appearing indifferent as if he had no interest in Eunseong at all.
“…Food.”
“…”
“You need to eat. Ahjussi, you need to take your medicine too… so you need to have dinner.”
“I’ll take care of it myself.”
“How? You can’t even walk properly, how do you plan to feed yourself?”
Eunseong asked argumentatively. Yoo Siwoon answered without much thought or sincerity.
“Somehow.”
“What do you mean ‘somehow’?”
“Somehow. Fruit or bread or something.”
“Should I bring you fruit or bread?”
“…”
Yoo Siwoon was looking at Eunseong with incomprehension. Despite saying he hated being together and it was painful, despite saying he would beat his stomach to get rid of the baby if it was there, despite having had a fit with scissors saying he would cut out the flesh Yoo Siwoon had loved—why was Eunseong acting like this? Having tried to abandon him, why was he acting this way? He couldn’t understand. Just when he had finally let go, prepared for death, Eunseong was disturbing him with beautiful, sulky, blinking eyes. He was trying to stir up the water that had just cleared.
“I’ll eat on my own.”
Instead of gratefully accepting when offered help, Yoo Siwoon continued to reject Eunseong’s outstretched hand.
“…Fine. Starve to death for all I care.”
Eunseong slammed the door shut.
Being the only one who knew his true feelings—which even Director Nam, who acted like his mouthpiece, didn’t recognize—knowing clearly that he would try to die without Eunseong, his attitude toward Eunseong made him feel deeply hurt.
It felt like being rejected, being ignored… and it seemed as if he no longer liked Eunseong, which made his eyes burn hot.
Eunseong stomped into the kitchen. He had been the one who had said he disliked him first, that he hated him to death, and he had been the one who had coldly rejected and pushed away Yoo Siwoon when he asked for just one hug that day.
That man had deceived Eunseong, impregnated him, and done all sorts of crazy things to make him have an unwanted child. While there should be no way to forgive him, strangely, as Yoo Siwoon tried to distance himself, Eunseong felt an explosive, unbearable feeling of disappointment.
He wanted to just abandon him and leave without forgiveness. But knowing too well that Yoo Siwoon would die if he did, he couldn’t make that choice either.
Getting angry only made him hungrier. He took out eggs to make omurice, the only dish he knew how to make. Despite his harsh words, he needed to make something for Yoo Siwoon to eat, and he needed to eat dinner to take his medicine.
He was making the egg mixture and taking out vegetables to chop when Yoo Siwoon, using crutches, came in and hesitated upon seeing Eunseong.
“…I’ll come back later.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll eat later.”
Yoo Siwoon tried to hurriedly turn away, as if he had disturbed Eunseong. Eunseong frowned at his staggering movements.
“Sit there.”
“…Huh?”
“I said sit there.”
“…”
Eunseong pointed to his usual seat. It was at the end of the island table. From the beginning, Eunseong and Yoo Siwoon had maintained that much distance between them, probing each other and maintaining their distance.
After a moment’s hesitation, Yoo Siwoon slowly walked to the chair and sat down. Even that brief movement seemed taxing, as he unconsciously sighed while sitting.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
