And besides, that was what I wanted to say the most. Of course, there was one difference between us.
It was fine if you hated me or despised me. But I had no intention of letting Cha Jungwoo go.
Even if you resent me, scream at me, and push me away, you still have to stay in my arms. …From afar? Something like that will never happen.
“Jungwoo.”
It’s already too late. Maybe it had been from our very first meeting. The fact that it was impossible for Cha Jungwoo to escape me.
Holding Cha Jungwoo as he fell asleep drunk, I laughed and laughed for a long time. It was the kind of dark, damp emotion that would make him recoil in horror if he ever knew.
***
I laid the sleeping Cha Jungwoo down on the floor. After propping him against the wall, I crouched down in front of him.
The faintly flickering light made a small buzzing noise before blinking again. The bulb seemed to be at the end of its life, but that wasn’t something worth worrying about right now.
After staring at his silhouette fading into the darkness, I moved to sit beside Cha Jungwoo. When I reached out and placed my hand against his cheek, I felt his skin—cooled and chilled by sweat.
Looking at his lowered eyelashes and slightly parted lips, a quiet, breathy laugh escaped me.
Does falling asleep mean he feels at ease?
Part of me thought that was a relief, yet another part clicked its tongue.
If he knew how I really felt, he wouldn’t be able to sit here like this. Ever since hearing his confession, holding onto my rationality had been torture.
As I spread my fingers and brushed down his face, the sticky warmth of his skin clung to me.
Perhaps sensing my presence, his head tilted faintly, a few strands of hair slipping loose.
My eyes, now accustomed to the darkness, refused to leave Cha Jungwoo.
Tracing the nape of his neck revealed through his lighter clothing, I couldn’t help but feel desire rising within me.
In my imagination, Cha Jungwoo was stripped bare beneath me, crying and crying.
With that calm voice, he let out soft moans, tears spilling until the neat corners of his eyes turned raw.
And I kissed his reddened eyelids. I imagined ruthlessly digging into him, restraining his limbs, and driving him to his limits.
“Jungwoo.”
I said I would wait, but now… I don’t think I can anymore. My forearms, veins standing out from the force I was holding back, trembled uncontrollably—even though I couldn’t bring myself to leave a single scratch on him.
The time I spent enduring, preparing for anything that might happen, felt longer than ever.
Still… wouldn’t a little be okay? My body, slipping free from restraint, leaned toward him.
Watching the shadow that fell over Cha Jungwoo, I swallowed dryly, nerves on edge.
Then, suddenly, I snapped back to my senses. Cha Jungwoo’s legs, carelessly sprawled out, blocked me from closing the distance.
“Ha.”
Seeing his sneakers still on his feet, stretched out messily, my gaze stuck there for reasons I couldn’t explain.
…His ankle. Right, there had been a time I’d lost Cha Jungwoo right in front of me. The image of him running away down the hallway was still vivid.
Would it be necessary? With my insides boiling, I reached out and gently stroked his ankle.
If he’d been just a little broken, I wouldn’t have lost him. The fact that Cha Jungwoo looked perfectly healthy was starting to irritate me.
I hated the idea of him being hurt—but I hated him drifting away even more. What if I broke him? At that thought, the fragile restraint I’d barely maintained began to crumble.
“No.”
I’ve endured this far already. I couldn’t ruin everything because of a moment’s impulse.
Suppressing my quickening breaths, I continued to run my hand over his ankle. …But if there ever came a time when Cha Jungwoo tried to slip out of my grasp again, I wasn’t sure I could make any promises.
As much as I loved him, an uncontrollable voice inside me screamed to tear him down.
While my sense of self battled fiercely within, it seemed Cha Jungwoo regained consciousness.
Just as I turned toward the trembling ankle, he spoke in a rough, muted voice.
“…If I say I like you, would that be shameless of me?”
You really don’t give me a moment to relax. The desire boiling in my stomach swelled larger. The dark eyes that met mine felt like they bound my whole body tight.
Jungwoo, just a little more—there’s barely half a step left now. Wearing the pretty expression he liked, I forced a look of disbelief.
Even if it meant being pitied, I wanted to remain someone weak and in need of protection in his eyes.
A shiver ran through me under Cha Jungwoo’s gaze as he examined my face so carefully. While I struggled to suppress the truth threatening to spill out, his body leaned toward me.
Chup— His lips pressed against my cheek, then pulled away. The soft, warm sensation felt too real to be a dream.
Beyond the quiet stillness, Cha Jungwoo exhaled sweetly and continued in a calm voice. I knew that look in his eyes well.
It was the greedy gaze of someone who wanted something.
“…This time, I’ll do it on your lips.”
“…….”
“If you don’t want it, slap my cheek. …I’ll go slowly.”
Before long, Cha Jungwoo’s lips pressed down on mine. His hair swayed over his trembling head, and beyond his dark lashes, our clear gazes met.
Ha, haha…. Holding back my laughter at his sudden action was torture. Honestly, I could never let my guard down. Cha Jungwoo himself was dangerous.
As if short of breath, he pulled away and inhaled softly, letting out a quiet hoo, ha. If I’d been even a little slower, I might’ve grabbed the back of his neck and slammed him against the wall.
If Cha Jungwoo hadn’t pulled away when he did, I might not have been able to suppress my ugly instincts and would have devoured him.
But it seemed that this kind of childlike skinship alone was enough to soothe his heart.
Under the pouring moonlight, a hint of embarrassment flickered across his face. As if that wasn’t enough, he soon closed his eyes.
Seeing his gaze disappear slowly, the corners of my lips lifted.
Cha Jungwoo pulled his lips away and leaned back. Watching his flushed cheeks, I noticed he was about to open his eyes and quickly hardened my expression.
“…Now I have no regrets. I even stole a kiss from Min Siheon.”
Even if it had been an innocent, almost childish kiss…. Hearing that while our bodies were still so close was dangerous.
Steadying my roughening breath, I asked for one final confirmation.
“What does this mean?”
“…What did my words sound like to you?”
I couldn’t stop thinking about the full lips that had just been pressed against mine. If it were me, I would’ve sucked them deep and never let go until he was gasping.
Impatience rose, and Cha Jungwoo’s hand slid over the back of my trembling hand—the place where I had forced a wound just to divert his attention once before.
“…Cha Jungwoo, are you serious?”
“…Then what, do people kiss as a lie? And I told you to slap me if you didn’t like it. You can’t take back what already hap—.”
I couldn’t listen to him anymore. From here on, I was going to do things my way. I shoved him against the wall and tilted my head, swallowing his lips whole.
Even the air that leaked out because he couldn’t breathe—I hurried to pull it all into my mouth.
I drank down the saliva that slickly flowed, tangled my tongue with his until our mouths filled completely. It was a messy act that couldn’t be called romantic even as a joke.
The two hands clutching my shoulders were unbearably lovely. Trapped between the wall and my body, he squirmed faintly, and I devoured his lips again and again.
“…Jungwoo, breathe.”
“Ha, you, seriously….”
“…You’re okay now, right?”
“What…!”
After meeting Cha Jungwoo’s startled eyes, I tilted my head again and pressed him down. The long wait had finally come to an end.
I finally caught you. Cha Jungwoo is mine.
***
Click— A small noise rang out. At the same time, warm sunlight poured over my head.
“…Mm.”
Bright light seeped through my eyelids. Frowning at the glare, I sensed someone approach my side.
After the sound of steady footsteps, unfamiliar hands touched me. A hand lifted to brush my bangs aside, and through the strands of hair, I felt a slightly cool body temperature.
A thumb traced gentle circles, soothing me. It felt as though it was telling me it was okay to fall back asleep, and my body relaxed.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
…What? The voice was heavy yet soft. Hearing that calm tone made my whole body feel languid.
Honestly, I hadn’t been able to move my body for a while now. It felt like I had turned into a soggy lump of cotton soaked in water, completely limp.
Even though I was wrapped in a warm, soft blanket, there didn’t seem to be a single part of me that didn’t hurt. A heavy fatigue clung to the ends of my arms and legs, as if weights were tied to them.
Did I run a marathon yesterday or something? The dull ache in my joints filled me with questions.
It felt too widespread to be dismissed as simple muscle soreness.
A full-body workout? Or had I been doing personal training? I drifted through one hypothesis after another.
As I wandered without finding an answer, a chill crept in and I curled up slightly.
Burying my legs deeper into the rustling blanket, a strange pain flickered from a place I couldn’t even put into words.
…Why does my butt hurt? Unlike my still foggy mind, my body was gradually waking up.
As my senses sharpened one by one, I noticed something else was wrong.
Along with a foreign sensation came a dull, throbbing ache climbing up my spine. The area felt tender, almost stinging, as if something had been pushed in and then pulled out. It was an utterly unfamiliar feeling.
Even that alone was strange enough. But today, a headache like a hangover tagged along as well.
The sensation pounding at my temples felt just like the day after pouring soju down on an empty stomach.
…Wait, soju on an empty stomach? Suddenly, flashes of bare skin filled my mind.
A body shaking through the night, the overwhelming pleasure that had forced its way up through me, and Min Siheon’s dark eyes looking down at me.
“Hng!”
I forced my stiff eyelids open. Blinding sunlight and an unfamiliar ceiling came into view. Maybe because I woke up too suddenly, a dry cough burst from my throat at the same time.
My mouth felt as dry as land after a long drought. Every cough sent tearing pain through me, and tears welled up on their own.
Perhaps hearing my rather noisy awakening, the silhouette by the window—who had been lowering the blinds—moved.
“Ke-luk, keh, keh….”
As I lay curled on the bed, unable to gather my senses, a thick arm slid around the back of my neck and shoulders.
The gentle push lifted my upper body from where it had been lying flat. Something was pressed to my lips, and a low voice urged me.
“Open.”
Open? Half-conscious, I parted my lips as told. Lukewarm water flowed in through the gap.
A generous amount of moisture slid down my throat, which had been rasping like metal tearing apart. The stinging pain eased, and the coughing stopped.
Focusing my hazy vision, I saw the blanket that had slipped down—and my bare chest beneath it. I was completely naked, aside from the arm wrapped around my back.
It’s the morning afftteerrrrr…they’re gonna have a what are we talk right???