Ugh, seriously.
I couldn’t stand the sight of Seo Yoon-chae crying like a baby, all tears and snot. In the end, I gave in.
“Fine. Lie on me all you want. Whatever.”
“…Really?”
“Just enjoy it while it lasts. This is a one-time deal.”
“…Hmph.”
He awkwardly rested his head on my leg, carefully getting comfortable.
With the whole feed the brat an extra rice cake kind of mindset, I reached over and patted his head too.
He closed his eyes slowly, clearly pleased.
“Your hand’s cold… Feels nice. Refreshing.”
“I have cold extremities, okay? And how can you say it feels refreshing when we’re in a nighttime desert?”
“…Forget it.”
Seo Yoon-chae snapped, choosing to shut up rather than argue further.
I gestured to Shin Tae-boem and Ra Ho-yeon.
“You guys come closer too. You need guiding, don’t you?”
“…Yeah.”
“In that case, I won’t hold back.”
Shin Tae-boem grabbed my free hand and interlaced his fingers with mine. Ra Ho-yeon, seeing my hand already taken, looked a bit lost, so I nodded toward my other leg—currently under Seo Yoon-chae.
“What are you waiting for? You can use my lap like Seo Yoon-chae.”
“Wait, but wouldn’t that be uncomfortable for you?”
He looked more awkward and embarrassed than anything.
Having seen far more intense forms of guiding during my ten years in my past life, I genuinely couldn’t understand his reaction.
I’d guided Je-ha in all sorts of ways, so Ra Ho-yeon’s awkwardness only made me uncomfortable.
“…Are you seriously acting shy right now? Between a Guide and an Esper?”
“No, I just— I mean, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable—”
Come to think of it, who’s guiding Je-ha these days?
A pointless thought, but it nagged at me.
What if, even after I reveal myself, Je-ha doesn’t believe me and refuses to be guided by me again?
The anxiety bubbled up, and I ended up snapping at Ra Ho-yeon.
“This is guiding. It’s my job. I’m doing what I’m supposed to. If you hesitate like this, I’m the one who feels awkward.”
“…Alright.”
After hesitating for a long moment, Ra Ho-yeon finally laid his head stiffly on my leg like a corpse.
I shook my leg a little and said,
“Relax, or you’ll get a crick in your neck.”
“I am relaxed…”
“Bullshit. Now get some rest while you can. This is still part of the test. They’re probably monitoring how much I guide my partner Espers.”
With that, Ra Ho-yeon adjusted his position and let his eyes close, finally settling down.
“Then I’ll just borrow your help for a bit.”
“Of course.”
From the Antlion pit, we could still hear coughing and screeching, but aside from that, it was strangely peaceful.
The desert air was bone-deep cold, far from comfortable—but the sky above was blanketed in countless sparkling stars.
At least that view made it easy to forget the situation we were in.
“…It’s beautiful.”
As I stared blankly at the night sky, Cha Si-yoon slowly sat up.
I stayed silent and watched him.
Maybe curious about the outcome of the two monsters, he—being the first one I’d guided—wandered over to the edge of the pit.
I warned him.
“Don’t get too close to the antlion’s pit. The dirt around there might be loose. If you fall, I won’t be able to save you, so just watch from a distance.”
“Got it.”
He stood and quietly observed the two massive monsters still brawling inside the pit.
“The antlion and the cockroach are locked in a brutal fight.”
“They’re dumb as rocks. That’s the only reason that lame bait plan even worked.”
Good thing there was another large monster nearby.
If not, my real skills might’ve been exposed.
Whoever killed me—whoever that damn ability thief “X” is—has to be connected to the government in some way.
So I had no interest in drawing attention to myself under their eyes.
I had briefly considered joining the Bureau just to get inside info, but after all this? Yeah, no thanks.
Glad we survived it. That could’ve been really bad.
With a sigh of relief, I let myself relax for a bit too.
Cha Si-yoon, for some reason, was totally absorbed in watching the monster brawl like it was a live sports match.
Every now and then, he’d give commentary nobody asked for.
“The cockroach bit the antlion on the neck.”
“The antlion snapped the cockroach’s waist clean in two.”
“Oh, now the cockroach is going for the antlion’s—”
Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Cha Si-yoon. I don’t care how they’re fighting. What I do care about is when the two of them finally kick the bucket.”
Ugh. It’s freezing.
This simulator dungeon was still locked in nighttime desert mode. The two monsters weren’t dead yet, so the system hadn’t advanced.
I want hot cocoa. With tons of marshmallows.
I’d only just gotten a taste of modern creature comforts, and here I was already dreaming of luxuries. Unreal. There was a time I could happily roast sewer rats for dinner.
Disgusted with myself, I let out a faint laugh. That’s when Shin Tae-boem, who’d been holding my hand for a while, looked up at me and asked,
“…You cold?”
“A little.”
No way I was gonna admit I was about to freeze to death. Pride wouldn’t let me.
Goddamn it, this cold-sensitive body is the worst.
Grumbling, I tightened my coat. Then Shin Tae-boem made a suggestion.
“If you’re cold, why don’t we all huddle together?”
“…That’s not really necessary. I’ll be fine once those two die. Didn’t you say the cockroach got its waist split? Can’t last much longer like that.”
No matter how tough an S-rank monster is, having its body halved can’t end well.
“Just hold out until they’re dead and—Achoo!”
Sniff.
I felt my nose start to run.
Damn it. Am I getting sick?
I was already annoyed when Shin Tae-boem suddenly pulled me into his arms.
“W-What the hell are you doing? Let go!”
“You look like you’re this close to catching a cold. Just stay like this for a minute.”
“I don’t want—”
“Like you said, it won’t take long, right? They’ll be dead any moment now. It’ll be quick. Just stay like this. I swear, I’m not gonna do anything weird to you.”
“…Fine. Just for a little bit.”
It looked like Shin Tae-boem smiled for a second.
Or maybe I imagined it.
“Alright.”
Ra Ho-yeon and Seo Yoon-chae were clearly exhausted—they fell asleep in no time.
My legs were starting to go numb, but I held still. Waking them up just because I was uncomfortable didn’t feel right.
…It’s warm.
Shin Tae-boem’s body radiated so much heat that I unconsciously burrowed into him.
When I realized it, I flinched and tried to pull back.
But Shin Tae-boem, eyes still closed, didn’t say a word.
…Is he asleep?
Thank god. I relaxed again and subtly leeched more of his warmth.
His arms were firm and comforting.
So much so that my eyes started to drift shut.
“…Mm.”
I kept nodding off and barely cracked my eyes open each time, only to find Cha Si-yoon looming closer like some ghost from a horror movie.
“…Hey. What are you doing creeping up like that?”
“You were nodding off, hyung.”
“Me? No way. I wasn’t sleeping. Totally awake.”
“Just get some sleep.”
“Nooo… I wasn’t trying to fall asleep…”
“It’s fine, hyung. Get some rest. Those monsters look like they’re about to die anyway.”
Sure enough, their once-feral shrieks had quieted.
Now only faint, death-rattle groans remained—mosquito-buzz faint—and then even that faded.
They were about to die for good.
“Then just a little…”
No. I couldn’t fall asleep now. I had to stay up and rip that bastard employee a new one—
But I was so damn tired.
And with that, my consciousness slipped into darkness.
***
A short while later…
Both massive monsters, torn to shreds, finally died.
Cha Si-yoon stayed awake until the very end and watched them breathe their last.
“…The sun’s rising.”
Just then, dawn broke over the dungeon’s simulated desert.
As he stared at the glowing sky, a chime rang, followed by a smooth, saccharine voice.
“Congratulations. You’ve successfully passed the simulator dungeon test.”
“….”
Cha Si-yoon glanced at the sleeping Yeon Yu-jin, then looked back toward the air where the voice had come from.
When he didn’t respond, Ban Noah sighed.
“Tch. I was hoping to hear someone begging to be let out right about now. Watching all that was so entertaining, after all.”
Whose begging was he hoping for?
Cha Si-yoon parted his lips but chose not to speak. He wanted nothing to do with someone like that.
Ban Noah, apparently losing interest in him, spoke again in a flat tone.
“Since you’ve cleared the dungeon, a gate to the surface will open shortly. Go through it, and the test’s over.”
Right then, Yeon Yu-jin stirred and sat up, tousled hair and all.
“…What the hell. Is it over?”
As soon as he woke, Ban Noah’s voice took on a delighted tone—like a child who’d just found a new toy.
“Congratulations, Guide Yeon Yu-jin. You’ve completed the test. Congratulations!”
Yeon Yu-jin responded with a barrage of curses.
Cha Si-yoon was surprised by how fluently the man swore. He had one hell of a temper.
“Is this a joke? You sadistic piece of shit. You threw me and these kids into an S-rank gate while pretending we were all C-rank, didn’t you?! Just to screw with us?!”
“Haha. According to the final results, you’re a C-rank Guide. Once the gate opens, you may exit. I’ve already informed the awake Espers.”
“Get back here. You’re trying to run, aren’t you? Don’t you dare move. If you even think about disappearing, you’re fucking dead. What kind of grudge do you have against us that you’d throw C-ranks into an S-rank gate?! You got a death wish, huh? You f—”
Yeon Yu-jin was absolutely losing it, but Ban Noah just chuckled, thoroughly entertained.
“But you didn’t die, did you? So, it all worked out in the end.”
“The fuck did you just say? ‘Didn’t die so it’s fine’?! I’m suing your ass. You better pray this hits the news, ‘cause I’m gonna drag you through every court in the country.”
“Oh, about that…”
“…What?”
“To be honest, I’m not part of the Bureau. Just thought this would be fun and decided to mess around a bit.”
“…What?”
Even Cha Si-yoon was shocked. What the hell was the Bureau doing? Letting some lunatic impersonate an employee and pull this shit with zero consequences?
“Anyway, congrats on getting the rank you wanted. I hate getting hit, so I’m off now. Bye-bye!”
“What?! Get back here! I said get the hell back here, you bastard! Where the hell’s the gate?! The monsters are dead, so where the hell is the way out?!”
