The dusk was desolate, the setting sun solemn. As I staggered away from the concession stand carrying two bottles of Heineken on my way back to the men’s dorm, I collapsed right there on the lawn, letting the sprinklers rain down on me like I was a flower. Chugging the Heineken down, I didn’t hold back as I miserably bemoaned to myself.
Xiao Bin, now, calm down. (1) Women are nothing more than creatures that break men’s hearts, You don’t need them! I believe you can make it without ‘em!
Two hours ago, Xiao Mei texted me to meet up at our usual spot by the trees. In the melancholic autumn breeze, dressed in her favorite floral dress, she turned around in slow mo, all hips and timing, and just went:
“Li Bin, I’m in love with him. So I’m letting you know we’re breaking up.”
I thought that was the end of this story, but I never would’ve guessed it was only the beginning.
The name’s Li Bin, at eight years old I experienced my first love.
Starting all the way back at the very age of eight, I’ve dealt with setback after setback as I was tossed back and forth in this emotional war zone. My first girlfriend was named Xiao Ai; the second, Xiao Jing; and the third, Xiao Yue…I breezed all the way through to fourteen like a hot knife through butter, undefeated, unchallenged, and legendary. Even the great Sun Wukong couldn’t even best me at my own game. Conquering the ladies left and right, it was simply my—the Little Divine Lord’s—most supreme ability.
Then college hit. And starting with Girlfriend #15, it’s been nothing short of hell.
Every time I made a move, she’d go and say yes, okay, okay, great start, and then two weeks later, she’d be gone. At this point I had stopped calling them relationships. I call them time-limited events.
Back then, I would down a bottle of Carlsberg each time I had my heart crushed into tiny pieces. I mean as far as it mattered to me, getting my heart ripped in half was as common as meeting an A-lister, so of course I had to buy something expensive for the occasion. But now, at long last, I finally get it…Heineken really is the smarter option!
Wins and losses are part of the game, yes. I should never let that bring me down, but I just kept losing like a dunce! And on top of that, it was always to the same dude! What skills does that bastard, Yang Lu, have that I don’t?
He looks like he smells like shit.
Then the girls all mew about how he’s, “The most handsome boy in school~!”
His grades ain’t anything to write home about.
Then the girls get all eloquent and go on about how he’s, “The smartest boy in school~!”
He assembles knicknacks out of random shit.
Then the girls get all bashful and squeak out how he’s, “Such a genius and well-versed~!”
What a crock of fucking horseshit! Speaking all light and soft, isn’t he just some damn overseas returnee who can shit out some broken English!? Just because his family’s new money, he thinks he can walk around like a total pompous-ass show off. Even the look on his face is just screaming, “Bitch, I’m the #1 under the stars”, that shrimpdick!
And the thing that would drive literally anyone to insanity is, get this, Yang Lu never, ever, gives them any affection! He just goes on about seducing them left and right! I took a bitter swig of beer and agonizingly howled out, “Are the heavens themselves blind too!? Yang Lu is a homo! Can’t anyone tell, anyone at fucking all??”
“That is correct.”
A voice, light like a feather, slid through my head. I instantly jolted like I’d been electrocuted. I buried my face in the grass, playing dead, but even with my eyes closed I could practically feel a dark cloud settling over my miserable existence. That annoyingly feather-like voice continued to flutter on, “I’m a gay man, and what of it?”
I opened my eyes and stared directly into his. My heart was ready to fight, but my face remained ever so calm as I spoke, “It’s disgusting, plain and simple.”
Yang Lu craned his neck down as he looked at me, his overly long bangs drooping down as he did so, fluttering on in the wind. Goddamn, how can he even manage a fugly-ass hairstyle like that. With a slight chuckle that gave the air of one that thought the universe would just faint from his magnificence, he went, “Your girlfriend fell in love with a homosexual.”
You mess with the bull, you get the horns. My anger hit its breaking point as it felt like smoke began to billow out of my ears, nose, and wherever! If you piss off someone way pass their limit, they’ll quickly resort to extremes. When he least expected it, I used all my strength to shove him. I pointed the bottom of my Heineken at his head and screamed, “You wanna act all high and mighty even though you’re a fucking homo, then scream it to the world! Let everyone and their mother know!”
It was a good thing there was barely anyone around, else me and this dickweed would’ve ended up trading fists.
Yang Lu stood back up, and brought himself right in front of me.
Wait what, he’s taller than me? Wait, no, no, no, I’m seeing things. I’m just hallucinating.
“I am gay,” Yang Lu laughed evilly. Before, he spoke with a soft and stable tone, but now he let out a louder and seemingly emotional one, “Li Bin, I love you.”
…
What in the ever loving fuck? This chump’s playing with me like a fiddle!
…
As my face became red as a beet, it made me remember just how bashful Xiao Mei would look.
Now I’m even more pissed off.
Taking all the strength in me to look him dead in the eye, I run, nah, dash away from him.
I ran on and on and on until I ended up in the middle of the street and waited for the other cars to pass by.
First, a taxi.
Then a Mercedes-Benz.
And then a bicycle.
Someone stood there on the other side of the street. He wore a black coat, had raven short hair, snow white skin, rosy lips, a pointed chin, radiantly bright red eyes, and was just giving me a smile. I half-heartedly returned the favor when I realized…red eyes?
The fuck are you doing? It’s the middle of the day, why are you dressing up like a demon and trying to scare people?
As I rolled my eyes, I by chance glanced at his shadow.
Something was emerging from behind it, what is that?
Wings?
I rubbed my eyes. No, he’s still on the other side smiling as before, his black windbreaker and raven hair fluttering on in the breeze. I was completely dumbfounded and left in a daze. But, his shadow on the pavement still remained the same, freaking me out.
I couldn’t help but take a step back. Then another.
A blinding light flashed towards me.
I whipped around, eyes stung by the glare.
A car horn screamed.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP—
My soul began to float, but when I looked back at where I’d just been. Yang Lu was gone. I kept rising, higher and higher. Below me, my body lay motionless gushing blood. I’m still completely confused. What was this called again? An out-of-body experience?
As I floated in the air, I witnessed the bus driver pulling out my student ID, frantically calling someone. I’d reckon he’s trying to call mom and dad.
During this chaos, a song played out down the block:
Grant me one more glance ~~~ and I’ll remember you ~~ in my heart ~~~ (2)
I looked down at my mangled corpse, and thought, well, if I really sat up for “one more glance,” comrade bus driver would most definitely remember me.
TL Notes:
- Xiao (小) can be used in front of names as a nickname, usually towards someone younger.
- Song is 让我再看你一眼 (Let Me See You Again) by 郭峰 (Guo Feng)
The Translator Speaks
Heyo! It’s been a while since I last posted, but this is a little side project I started in tandem with my To Be Alive is Disgusting TL (which is back on track now that I’ve finished reading the story in it’s entirety!). I love love LOVE Right Wing of God and it was the novel that really jumpstarted me putting more serious effort into my Chinese studies so that I could engage and read more in the community since it’s not a well known one on the ENG side of things. Updates I can’t promise will be constant as this is again just a side project, but I will at least try to release chapters in batches similar to how they were in Eternal (for example Ch3 of Eternal –> Ch3-7 of 08/11) so it doesn’t feel as long!
And as always thank you so much to Tav for TLCing for me! ^^
