Chapter 53
They arrived at the airport without much meaningful conversation due to Cha Yoon’s one-sided interference. Shin Da-bin got out first, followed by Ki Seo-jung and Cha Yoon.
“Thanks for the ride, Da-bin,” Seo-jung said.
“Thank you for driving,” Da-bin replied, her eyes crinkling.
Cha Yoon, who had been looking back and forth between the two, immediately stood between them to prevent further conversation.
“Where are you headed, Da-bin?” Seo-jung asked.
“I need to go towards Gate 3.”
“Then we’ll have to part ways here.”
Was Cha Yoon invisible to Ki Seo-jung? Seo-jung, who had only asked about Shin Da-bin’s destination, curled up the corners of his mouth. Seo-jung needed to take the shuttle bus to the control tower. After checking his watch, Seo-jung pointed in the direction he needed to go and spoke.
“I’ll be off to catch the shuttle bus.”
“Alright, Seo-jung. Take care. Cha Yoon, good luck with your business too!”
“See you later at home,” Da-bin said, waving cheerfully at both of them before turning away. As soon as Da-bin’s farewell ended, Ki Seo-jung also walked towards the bus stop, without saying goodbye to Cha Yoon.
“…Huh.”
Cha Yoon let out a bemused laugh at Seo-jung’s deliberate ignore. This is too much, really. How can he just leave without a word as soon as we get off? While cursing Seo-jung’s coldness, he couldn’t take his eyes off Seo-jung’s retreating figure, hoping he might turn back out of consideration.
But contrary to Cha Yoon’s hopes, Seo-jung walked straight ahead without looking back. Soon, the shuttle bus carrying Seo-jung left the stop. Only then did Cha Yoon look away, messing up his bangs. His hair, which had been damp earlier, was now completely dry.
The space where Ki Seo-jung had been was quickly filled with people hurriedly entering the airport with their luggage. Cha Yoon rubbed the inside of his cheek with his tongue. What am I doing here? Left alone, a strong sense of regret washed over him.
“…Let’s just go home.”
Cha Yoon muttered softly, kicking the ground for no reason.
Leaving the parking lot, Cha Yoon stretched out his hand towards a taxi slowly passing in front of him. After Cha Yoon recited the X House address, the taxi carrying him slowly left the airport.
***
With the sound of the door lock opening, Cha Yoon entered the house. Soo-ho and Min-ha, who were having a late breakfast, put down their spoons and turned around at the sound.
“Oh, Cha Yoon. Did you just finish working out?”
“If you haven’t had breakfast yet, would you like to join us?”
Cha Yoon waved his hand dismissively at their questions, indicating refusal. Soo-ho and Min-ha blinked as they watched him. He generally always looked in a low mood, but today his face seemed particularly complex. Soo-ho and Min-ha shrugged and resumed their meal.
Instead of going straight up to his room, Cha Yoon passed through the living room and went out to the first-floor terrace. On one side of the terrace were several well-crafted wooden chairs. He slumped down in the chair closest to the table.
Cha Yoon took out a cigarette pack from his pocket and placed it on the table. He repeatedly tapped the angular cigarette pack, rolling it around in a meaningless action, before rubbing his face with one hand.
As he lifted his head, the terrace view came into sight. Unlike the second floor, the first-floor terrace was connected to the garden leading to the entrance.
Cha Yoon’s face immediately crumpled. It was because of the memory of Ki Seo-jung and Shin Da-bin walking together affectionately in the garden a few hours ago. Unable to erase the lingering image, Cha Yoon put a cigarette in his mouth.
During the return journey in Shin Da-bin’s car, Cha Yoon had been plagued by self-loathing. What was more ridiculous was that he didn’t regret going to the airport with them, despite everything.
What if he hadn’t followed them? Under the guise of carpooling, they would have spent an intimate time alone in the quiet car. He wanted to prevent that at all costs.
This was the biggest problem Cha Yoon was facing now. The fact that he desperately wanted to prevent Ki Seo-jung and Shin Da-bin from getting along well.
“…Shit.”
From yesterday evening when Shin Da-bin entered the X House until now, Cha Yoon couldn’t understand his own feelings at all.
How had Cha Yoon been until now? He had clearly wanted Ki Seo-jung’s ex to come quickly. He wanted to quickly rein in Ki Seo-jung, who was enchanting people under the guise of kindness and giving hope to just anyone. That was Cha Yoon’s initial feeling.
And this all stemmed from a sense of empathy. At least he hoped that Ki Seo-jung’s ex wouldn’t be abandoned without knowing anything, like him.
Six months ago, Cha Yoon had a hard time getting his bearings after Ki Seo-jung’s sudden breakup notice. Even he, who had no shared memories or lingering feelings, suffered such severe post-breakup symptoms. How much worse would it be for someone who still had feelings for Ki Seo-jung? Cha Yoon was certain that it wouldn’t be easy to recover from that wound.
They would probably live their whole life unable to do anything, just longing for Ki Seo-jung. If his memories hadn’t disappeared, he would have been the same, so it was bound to happen. Cha Yoon felt sorry for the ex who wouldn’t be able to live a normal life. It was the first time he felt such pity.
Amusingly, while reaching this conclusion, there was no calculation in his mind that Ki Seo-jung’s ex might want to come here and meet other people. From Cha Yoon’s perspective, this was also natural. Because there was no way anyone else could catch his eye besides Ki Seo-jung.
“…Hah.”
He felt stifled. He had been irritated and angry when Ki Seo-jung showed interest in Song Joo-ah and when he was kind to other contestants. But he thought it was all because he felt empathy for Ki Seo-jung’s ex, that is, Shin Da-bin.
He had desperately tried to prevent Ki Seo-jung from getting together with Song Joo-ah for the sake of his ex who would soon arrive. It didn’t make sense that Cha Yoon, who only cared about himself, would be so devoted to someone he didn’t even know, but he tried not to think about it too deeply. He just avoided it at times. Why? Because it felt like he should. Because he wanted to.
So he vigilantly prevented contact between Seo-jung and others. He thought it was right for Ki Seo-jung to return to where he originally belonged.
So if Ki Seo-jung and his ex seemed to be getting along well now, he should have withdrawn his interest. If Ki Seo-jung treated Shin Da-bin well, contrary to how he had been with him, without looking elsewhere, he should have turned away thinking it was for the best. That’s what he had thought he wanted all along.
But ridiculously, when he actually saw it happening, it made him feel awful. He felt annoyed, just like when he watched him getting along well with other contestants. No, he hated seeing it even more than before. It felt like Shin Da-bin was taking away something he possessed. All sorts of emotions seemed ready to boil over and overflow.
What exactly was this feeling? Cha Yoon, caught in self-contradiction, found it hard to come to his senses due to the confusion. He felt so stifled that even breathing was uncomfortable. It felt like his unclear feelings had piled up, making even his solar plexus swell. Cha Yoon, pressing hard on his solar plexus, exhaled the deeply inhaled cigarette smoke.
After letting out a rough sigh, Cha Yoon stubbed out the shortened cigarette and took out a new one. He wasn’t particularly fond of chain-smoking, but it was hard to bear the feeling of his throat being completely blocked.
The cigarette butts piled up more and more. His head felt dizzy from smoking so much on an empty stomach. Still, no conclusion was reached. He understood himself less and less as time went on.
Amidst the chaos of various thoughts, only one thing became clear in his foggy mind. What was certain was that he didn’t want to see Ki Seo-jung getting along well with anyone. He didn’t want him smiling at others or talking with other people.
So, he had to prevent Ki Seo-jung from doing that. Even if that person was Shin Da-bin.
Why he felt this way was something he could worry about later. For now, following this thought that had burrowed into his mind seemed to be the right answer. It felt like he had finally found a clue to the problem he had been pondering for a long time.
“…Cha Yoon, is something wrong?”
“Yes. No.”
It was Seo Min-ha, who had tried to enter the terrace several times out of concern for Cha Yoon, who was emitting a black aura. Min-ha, who approached as soon as he came out, blinked at the ambiguous answer.
Cha Yoon passed by Seo Min-ha without hesitation. A faint smell of cigarettes brushed Min-ha’s nose.
