Chapter 141
As they arrived at the X House, the pouring rain stopped as if it had never happened. The two people stepped onto the dry ground and slowly entered the building.
After washing up and changing out of their wet clothes, they entered the common area where the other cast members’ eyes turned towards them. Their eyes were full of curiosity. Among those hesitant to ask questions, Min-wook was the first to speak up.
“Why did you two come in together?”
It was a direct question without any beating around the bush. Seo-jung flinched at this. It was as if he had just woken up from a fantasy. Seo-jung’s lips quivered. What should he say? Should he tell them that he and Cha Yoon had spent time together as each other’s date?
Suddenly, he felt afraid. He imagined the contemptuous looks on the cast members’ faces if he said that. The faces of the workshop owner, the indifferent production staff, and the many people they had encountered today who showed no particular interest in them had long since faded from his mind.
Seo-jung clenched his fists, trying to hide his trembling fingertips. He worried about the suspicious glances of people who might attribute meaning to Cha Yoon’s playful behavior up until now. What if they pointed fingers, calling it disgusting?
As he stood there, unable to say anything while enduring people’s gazes, Cha Yoon spoke up first.
“We went on a date today.”
Cha Yoon said this in such a casual voice. Seo-jung squeezed his eyes shut at the sight of Cha Yoon stating the facts as they were, without any circumlocution. He couldn’t bear to see the warm gazes that had been directed at him turn cold. As he waited for the cast members’ reactions, holding his breath and unable to say anything…
“What? Really?”
“Wow, that’s amazing. I never thought of this.”
“Were we allowed to film same-sex dates too?”
The cast members’ reactions burst out in amazement. What’s this? It was a bit different from what Seo-jung had expected. There was no contempt, no criticism, no cold hostility. Thinking he might have misheard, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at the cast members’ expressions, but they were no different from what he had imagined with his eyes closed. The cast members were just blinking in surprise.
“Yeah, I didn’t know this was possible either, but Song Joo-ah and Shin Da-bin made it happen.”
As Cha Yoon’s gaze turned to Song Joo-ah, she subtly avoided eye contact and popped a piece of fruit into her mouth.
“If I had known this was possible, I would have picked Da-bin noona as Ji-yoon noona’s date partner…!”
“Cha Yoon, you’re going on a date before heading back to Seoul from Jeju. Congratulations.”
“That’s right! Congrats, Yoon oppa.”
After Soo-ho’s seemingly regretful words, voices congratulating Cha Yoon on his first successful date followed. Is this really it? Really? As Seo-jung was looking at the cast members with an expression of complete incomprehension, Min-wook called out to him.
“Ki Seo-jung, so you didn’t buy anything to eat today?”
“What?”
“Food, I mean. Food. Didn’t you say you’d come back with your hands full of delicious things?”
Only then did Seo-jung remember the conversation he had with Min-wook before leaving for the date. Seo-jung made an “oh no” expression and quickly apologized.
“Ah… It suddenly started raining heavily, so I forgot. I’m sorry, hyung.”
“Ah, I was really looking forward to that, but what can we do? I guess we’re going empty-handed today.”
Min-wook headed to the kitchen, smacking his lips in disappointment. That was it. Seo-jung blinked as he watched Min-wook’s retreating back. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. It was so hard to understand this situation. As he was moving his lips in confusion, he heard Sae-young’s voice.
“So, what did you two do on your date today?”
“We went to a silver workshop.”
Cha Yoon, who Seo-jung thought wouldn’t say much, opened his mouth more easily than expected.
“A silver workshop?”
“Yes, we made rings there. It was really fun.”
With that as a starting point, Cha Yoon began to share the details of today’s date. They made rings together, which was harder than expected, but he worked hard on it because it was a gift for his hyung, and so on… Cha Yoon’s words continued endlessly.
“Oh, and on the way back, it suddenly started raining, you know? Neither of us had an umbrella, so hyung and I ran really fast. It was my first time running like that in the rain, and it felt refreshing and kind of exciting.”
Even at this moment, Cha Yoon seemed to be remembering that time as he spoke with his eyes curved and full of laughter. Seo-jung swallowed hard as he looked at Cha Yoon’s curved eyes and lips. He clenched his fists tighter. There was that smile again. Cha Yoon’s innocent smile that he thought had slowly disappeared. And it wasn’t just Seo-jung who noticed this change, as Ji-yoon joined the conversation.
“Wow, Cha Yoon. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you talk like this.”
As Cha Yoon raised his eyebrows as if to ask what she meant, Ji-yoon added an explanation.
“You know, since coming to Jeju, you’ve been acting all mature and quiet. But now you seem like the Cha Yoon I used to know.”
“Oh, you’re right. I knew something felt familiar, I guess this was it.”
“Oppa, keep talking with a smile like this from now on, okay?” At Sae-young’s half-joking request, Cha Yoon frowned. He looked disgusted, as if he had heard something he shouldn’t have.
While Cha Yoon, the person in question, clearly disliked being compared to a child, Seo-jung’s thoughts were different.
In his mind, the smile Cha Yoon had just shown kept repeating. So you were someone who could smile like that even after regaining your memories. Seo-jung lowered his gaze and slowly closed and opened his eyes.
He had thought it had slowly disappeared over the seven years. But now Seo-jung realized his thoughts were wrong. It hadn’t disappeared. It had just been sleeping somewhere, becoming a part of Cha Yoon.
Seo-jung thought about the things Cha Yoon had to give up while being with him, and why someone who seemed so childlike had to act so mature. And he had to admit. The reason for all of this was himself.
Seo-jung brought out his most primal fear. Looking down at his feet, he saw a long line. The line. That was Seo-jung’s fear.
To Seo-jung, who had been abandoned from birth, the world was a cold and harsh place. That’s why he couldn’t make mistakes, and couldn’t step out of the set frame. Because he would be abandoned again. So he tried not to be caught by anyone, to not go beyond the standards set by society.
Seo-jung believed that restraining himself and living according to the rules was the only way to survive. So this line was Seo-jung’s life itself.
That’s why he couldn’t cross it. Even knowing that Cha Yoon was beyond that line, he was too scared and afraid to step on the line and go outside. In the end, he even pulled Cha Yoon, whom he loved, inside the line he had created.
And he kept whispering to himself that this was right, that he had made the right choice. That this was the only way to protect himself and Cha Yoon. He built walls all around to prevent his beliefs from crumbling and confined himself. He covered his eyes, blocked his ears, and spent 7 full years like that.
But as if mocking Seo-jung’s actions, the reality he faced directly was completely different from what he had imagined. He recalled the faces of everyone he had met today. From the workshop owner who cheered for their relationship to the production staff who looked at them nonchalantly, the people they encountered while on their date with Cha Yoon, and the cast members here now.
While everyone’s reactions were different, there was one common point. To these people, Ki Seo-jung was just a passerby, just one of the extras in their lives.
Whether Seo-jung went on a date with a man or fell in love with a man, it wasn’t a very important matter to them. As Min-wook had shown, it was less significant than satisfying their hunger.
Of course, some might curse at the sight of the two, point fingers calling it disgusting, or turn their backs coldly. But are those people, who are merely extras in his life, so important? Important enough to make Cha Yoon give up so many things? And the answer to that question was clear.
Nothing in this world was more valuable than Cha Yoon. Seo-jung slowly nodded. He had been afraid of an illusion and was missing what was truly important. As he acknowledged everything, the sound of cracking that he had occasionally heard echoed in his ears, and the last wall blocking Seo-jung’s way completely crumbled.
Seo-jung looked down at his feet once more. There was nothing blocking him anymore.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
