“Jealousy……?”
As if entranced, Han-gyeom repeated In-seok’s words.
“Yeah. It’s just jealousy. You get irritated when you see Hae-jun hyung and Won-hyeok together, right?”
The word irritated was a little too blunt, but honestly, it was true, so Han-gyeom carefully nodded. When the two of them talked together and laughed, it made him feel bad. He got irritated and anxious. It was Han-gyeom’s first time ever feeling that way toward another person, so he truly found himself unfamiliar and hated it.
Especially when that person was Hae-jun, who took such good care of him.
“That’s just jealousy. It even lines up perfectly with that determinism thing you were talking about in the first place. Hae-jun hyung just so happens to be an omega, so when an alpha like Do Won-hyeok is next to him, you end up becoming more conscious of it.”
“Ah.” Han-gyeom fell into thought with a blank expression. Come to think of it, during the semester, Won-hyeok mostly hung around Sun-woo or Yubin a lot. Even when he saw that, Han-gyeom had never once felt the uncomfortable emotion he was feeling now. He had only thought, Sunbae is really close with his friends.
By that logic, it meant that Won-hyeok being alone with Hae-jun was what was unusual, and if so, did that mean this had really all been because of jealousy? It felt as if something burst and vanished inside his head, like fireworks going off.
“Why think about it so deeply? Everyone gets jealous when they’re in a relationship.”
In-seok, too, finally looked relieved, like he’d pulled out the thorn lodged inside him, and took another gulp of beer.
“I see…… so I was jealous.”
“Don’t tell me you really didn’t know?”
“No. It’s m-my first time experiencing something like this…….”
The identity of the heavy stone that had been pressing uncomfortably on his heart all this time was jealousy, and it wasn’t strange at all. When Han-gyeom smiled softly, In-seok found himself thinking again that this kid was really far too good for Do Won-hyeok.
“Then that means this is a common thing, right?”
“Yeah. People get jealous even between friends, so if it’s between lovers, that says it all. Han-gyeom, you’re just too nice, so you must’ve thought even feeling jealous meant there was something wrong with you and ended up digging yourself into a hole, but there’s absolutely no need for that.”
With just those few words from In-seok, it felt like a long-standing blockage in his chest had completely dissolved. Right, so this was jealousy. Ever since getting to know Won-hyeok, all he’d felt until now were fluffy, pink-tinted emotions, so he had never known. He’d never imagined that while dating someone, he would end up feeling dark and gloomy emotions like this too.
“Why are you smiling?”
Seeing the corners of Han-gyeom’s mouth lift naturally, In-seok tilted his head.
“I don’t know, I’m just happy. Because of sunbae.”
But even that negative emotion felt good. Everything he felt toward Won-hyeok was simply lovely.
“Wow, I think I’m getting jealous of Do Won-hyeok for the first time.”
“Huh?”
“Well, whatever. One more thing to add: stop thinking that alphas are only drawn to omegas. Sure, that’s not completely wrong, but that doesn’t make it some absolute formula like one plus one equals two.”
All the inner suffering Han-gyeom had gone through until now suddenly felt like nothing at all. So much so that he couldn’t even understand why he had agonized over that kind of worry for so long.
Why was it that, right now, all he wanted was to see Won-hyeok? The image of Won-hyeok looking at him and smiling warmly kept coming to mind.
“Still, I’m glad it’s resolved. I should use this to get something out of Do Won-hyeok too—”
He was about to say he’d at least milk this a little when Han-gyeom suddenly stood up from his seat.
“Hyung, I’m going to head out first.”
“Huh?”
“Please tell me later how much the chicken cost. And thank you so much for today.”
Leaving those words behind, Han-gyeom shot out of the restaurant like an arrow. As he came down the stairs and stepped outside the building, he recited Won-hyeok’s address to himself—the one he had saved in his phone memo app last time.
He came out to the roadside and looked around aimlessly, and luckily, in the distance, he spotted a taxi approaching with the vacant sign lit up. Since it was a weekday evening, Han-gyeom had thought he probably wouldn’t be able to catch one and had been wondering if he should take the bus, so he quickly waved his arm and flagged the taxi down.
The taxi driver looked at him a little strangely as Han-gyeom, panting like something huge had happened, blurted out the address.
Before long, the taxi entered a familiar alley. After getting out in front of Won-hyeok’s officetel building, Han-gyeom pressed his lips together tightly and clenched his fists.
It was an impulsive thing to do. Showing up at his house without even contacting him first. Won-hyeok might hate it. No, normally, of course he would hate it. Even if they were dating, if someone came by this late in the evening without warning like this.
But after talking with In-seok and finally learning the name of the emotion that had tormented him all this time, suddenly it became hard to endure. He just missed Won-hyeok so, so much. So, telling himself that just for today he would indulge this selfish impulse, Han-gyeom steeled himself and started walking.
But only for a moment, because he soon ran into an obstacle he had never expected.
Han-gyeom was standing blankly in front of the tightly closed building door. He didn’t know the door code. He even tried waiting to slip in with someone else coming or going, but maybe because it was late, there wasn’t anyone entering or leaving at all.
In the end, Han-gyeom had no choice but to call Won-hyeok.
“Yes, Han-gyeom.”
A cool, refreshing voice came through, one that seemed to wash away the heat of a midsummer night.
“Sunbae, um, I’m in front of your place right now…….”
“……What?”
“I’m sorry for coming without warning. But there’s something I really need to say…….”
“In front of the building? Wait there a little. I’m at my family home, but I’m heading over right away. Okay?”
The call ended before Han-gyeom could even explain everything. Come to think of it, it hadn’t even occurred to him that Won-hyeok might be at his family home. He was regretting not contacting him in advance when, not even a few minutes later, he saw a familiar car pull up in front of the building.
“Kang Han-gyeom!”
Won-hyeok got out of the car and hurried over.
“Ah, sunbae.”
“What is it? Is something wrong? Why did you come here all of a sudden?”
Won-hyeok urgently grabbed both of Han-gyeom’s arms and looked him over from place to place.
“Come inside first. Let’s talk inside.”
It was too hot outside, and more than anything, they could end up disturbing the other people who lived there. Still unable to wipe the worry from his face, Won-hyeok took Han-gyeom upstairs to his place.
Won-hyeok sat Han-gyeom down on the sofa, went into the kitchen, and brought back a glass of cold water.
“Thank you.”
He had been tense the whole way here anyway, so Han-gyeom downed more than half the glass in one go.
“Han-gyeom. Is the thing you needed to say…… about why you’ve been acting strange lately?”
“Huh? Ah, yes, that’s right.”
He had expected Won-hyeok would have noticed too. After all, whenever they went on dates, he kept spacing out, and Won-hyeok had even asked him if something was wrong.
“Han-gyeom, is it maybe about me…….”
“Sunbae, I’m sorry.”
Won-hyeok, who had been looking dejectedly at the living room floor, slowly lifted his head at the sudden apology.
“My attitude lately was really bad, right? I-I knew that too. Even when we met, I kept thinking about other things and made you worry.”
Han-gyeom tightened his grip on the glass still beaded with droplets of water. The things he needed to apologize for, he had to apologize for properly and get past them. He had to honestly tell him what he had been thinking and feeling.
“The truth is…… I was jealous.”
Han-gyeom squeezed his eyes shut and blurted it out almost like a shout. For a moment, a silent stillness sank between them. Won-hyeok only blinked slowly, his lips moving like a broken robot.
“Sunbae, you’re an alpha. And I heard alphas are born with an instinct to be drawn to omegas. At first, I didn’t think that mattered much, but when I saw you around the boss so often, this place just…… hurt.”
Han-gyeom awkwardly smiled as he clutched at one side of his chest.
“But I only just realized now that it was jealousy. I’d been having a hard time because I didn’t know why I kept feeling this way.”
“……So the reason you’ve been so gloomy lately was because you were jealous of me and that boss?”
“Yes!”
At those words, Won-hyeok’s expression changed in all kinds of ways. He let out a sigh as if dumbfounded, then pressed a hand to his forehead. And in the end, his face tightened as if he could no longer hold something back.
“I’d never really felt jealousy before in my life, so I didn’t know.”
“……”
“Sunbae, e-even if alphas are born unable to help being drawn to omegas.”
Han-gyeom lowered his head deeply. Won-hyeok’s face and voice, which he was properly facing again after so long, and even Won-hyeok’s distinct scent lingering all throughout the apartment. They made his heart tremble, but they also kept drawing the words inside him out.
“I want to stay connected to you, sunbae. Even though I’m a beta, I’ll do my best. So that you won’t be more drawn to some other omega.”
Han-gyeom’s face flushed red all at once, like a roasting sweet potato. Won-hyeok stared fixedly at him. The corners of Han-gyeom’s eyes, his earlobes, the back of his neck—every part of him was dyed red. Even now, he was still so embarrassed about expressing his feelings, yet in the end he always managed to pour out everything inside him. In every action and word Han-gyeom used as he tried somehow to convey his heart, what Won-hyeok felt was nothing less than perfect love.
Silence came again. Feeling some movement drawing near, Han-gyeom, who had been squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment, lifted his head.
“S-sunbae.”
And that was when he found himself facing Won-hyeok’s face, now already right in front of him. At first glance, Won-hyeok looked very expressionless, but his eyes swept over Han-gyeom’s face as though determined to take in every inch of it. Those cute cherry-tinted lips, that cute little nose, and those clear, innocent eyes.
“……”
Their gazes slowly met and tangled deeply. Han-gyeom caught his breath sharply and shifted his eyes this way and that, as if trying to gauge Won-hyeok’s mood now that he was so close. Even that restlessness was adorable.
“……Ah, I’m in trouble.”
“Huh?”
Murmuring something Han-gyeom couldn’t understand, Won-hyeok grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in. Then he tilted his head and, in one swift motion, swallowed Han-gyeom’s lips whole.
