There is content in South Korea’s compulsory education curriculum related to secondary genders. It was meant to prevent students from becoming unsettled when their traits manifested. The first time Han-gyeom received that education was back in elementary school.
“There are alphas and omegas among secondary genders. Alphas and omegas can sense each other’s pheromones.”
At the time, he had just been zoning out through a lesson he had no interest in, when one classmate who loved fooling around raised a hand and asked a question.
“Teacher! Then does that mean alphas and omegas are pairs?”
“It can’t be said that that’s always the case, but there’s a high probability that alphas and omegas are naturally drawn to each other.”
Alphas and omegas are pairs. They react to each other’s pheromones, share senses betas cannot feel, and can do things betas cannot, like pregnancy and imprinting. An alpha and an omega can only fully resolve their rut and heat if they have each other.
That was why alphas and omegas, by the instincts humans are born with, couldn’t help but be drawn to one another.
“……”
“Han-gyeom?”
“Huh? Yes?”
At the voice from behind him, Han-gyeom responded a beat late. Hae-jun smiled softly at that.
“What are you so lost in thought about that you’re spacing out? Could you take that order over there?”
“Ah, yes.”
Han-gyeom, who hadn’t even realized a customer had come in and was waiting, hurried over to the register and took the order. Hae-jun, who had briefly had something come up at home, had returned to the café. Fortunately, it seemed the matter had been resolved well. Because of that, In-seok, who had been showing up constantly before, now came by irregularly again like he used to.
On the day Hae-jun came back to the café for the first time in a while, Han-gyeom felt a strange emotion for the first time in his life when he saw Won-hyeok standing alone with him, shaking hands and talking. They were only exchanging greetings, but the moment he saw that scene, he thought it. The two of them looked very good together.
Was it because Won-hyeok and Hae-jun were an alpha and an omega? Han-gyeom was about to sink into gloom again, but then slapped both cheeks sharply.
He couldn’t keep falling into weird thoughts. Won-hyeok was his boyfriend now, and Hae-jun was someone he was grateful to, someone who had readily given even a complete beginner like him a job and looked after him well. And yet here he was, entertaining pointless thoughts all by himself over those two.
“But I was seriously shocked. I never would’ve guessed In-seok’s cousin was your boyfriend, Han-gyeom.”
“Ah, I was really shocked too when I first found out.”
“The world’s so small. But now I get why you praised him so much your mouth practically wore out.”
“Huh?”
“Your boyfriend is really handsome.”
Han-gyeom flinched. In the past, hearing someone say Won-hyeok was handsome had made him absurdly happy. So why wasn’t it making him happy at all now? He really didn’t want to feel this way toward Hae-jun.
“You two really look good together. Your faces match perfectly, totally—ah, saying that might be rude.”
“……”
“Hm? Han-gyeom.”
“Ah… wh-what did you say? I didn’t catch that….”
When Han-gyeom forced an awkward smile, Hae-jun studied him with a worried expression.
“You’re not feeling sick anywhere, are you? Tell me if you’re having a hard time.”
“No, I’m fine. I j-just didn’t get enough sleep.”
The lie came naturally out of Han-gyeom’s mouth. He had slept well, and he wasn’t tired at all. He just couldn’t very well confess that hearing Hae-jun praise Won-hyeok’s looks had made him uncomfortable for a moment. It was such an ugly thought.
Trying to blow away those thoughts, Han-gyeom buried himself in work after that. He swept and wiped the shop at every chance, diligently emptied the trash, restocked supplies, and handled more than half the orders by himself. Hae-jun asked why he was pushing himself so hard, but all Han-gyeom could do was laugh it off. He felt like only by focusing on work could he get even a little relief from this uncomfortable feeling.
“Oh? Then did you say you wanted to break up?”
Han-gyeom was busily wiping down and cleaning a table where a customer had spilled a drink when voices from the customers seated at the next table happened to drift into his ears.
“I haven’t said I want to break up yet. I just asked for some time apart. But honestly, I am leaning toward ending it for now.”
“No, why? Didn’t you two date well for over a year?”
“I’m an alpha. My girlfriend’s a beta.”
Han-gyeom, who had been diligently wiping the table with a rag, paused. There was no way he could not pay attention to a conversation like that.
“Hey, these days, who cares about traits? Nowadays everyone dates just fine regardless of that stuff.”
Right. Who even scrutinized traits like that these days? Before he knew it, Han-gyeom was silently rooting for the friend giving the advice.
“That’s true, but… honestly, I feel kind of unsatisfied during rut.”
“Ah, well. I guess that part would be like that.”
“And there’s this omega I met while volunteering, you know?”
The hand gripping the rag tightened for no reason.
“When I talk to them, I feel like I’m more drawn in somehow. Honestly, you can’t completely ignore pheromones. I never used to believe all that old talk about alphas being instinctively meant to end up with omegas and whatever. But lately… I feel like maybe I get it.”
“You crazy bastard. That’s just you making excuses to monkey-branch.”
Unable to bear hearing more, Han-gyeom trudged back inside. He dropped the rag into the sink and turned on the water. Cold water poured down hard, droplets splashing everywhere. Under the stream, Han-gyeom scrubbed the rag over and over. But the stain on it wouldn’t come off easily.
He scrubbed and scrubbed again. But the more he did, the more anxious he became.
“Ah….”
Then, without realizing it, he must have scraped himself with a nail, because blood welled up on the back of his hand. Han-gyeom turned off the water and stared blankly at the sink when the café door swung open wide.
Won-hyeok walked into the café again today, dressed as impeccably as ever. The moment he saw him, Han-gyeom’s face brightened at once, as though it had never been gloomy in the first place. Like a puppy running to its owner, he hurried right over to the register.
“Sunbae.”
“Han-gyeom, today I also… You, what’s this?”
Won-hyeok had been rummaging through his wallet to take out his card, but the moment he saw the cut on the back of Han-gyeom’s pale white hand, his face hardened. More blood was seeping from the wound. It was the cut he’d gotten from scrubbing the rag too hard earlier. Embarrassed for no reason, Han-gyeom covered the wound with his hand.
“It’s nothing.”
“It is not. You’re bleeding.”
At that moment, Hae-jun, who had been checking the bakery stock in the back, must have heard, because he came hurrying out. As soon as he stepped outside, Han-gyeom unconsciously bit down hard on his lip.
“Han-gyeom, you got hurt?”
“Do you have a first-aid kit inside?”
Won-hyeok pressed firmly on Han-gyeom’s wound so more blood wouldn’t come out, naturally addressing Hae-jun.
“Yes, it’s inside. Han-gyeom, go in and put on some ointment and a bandage. You know where the first-aid kit is, right?”
“B-but your order first, sunbae….”
“Is my order what matters right now? Go on, now.”
Won-hyeok snapped sharply. Hae-jun, perhaps having caught the sudden shift in Won-hyeok’s mood, shot him a glance but still gently coaxed Han-gyeom.
“Listen to your boyfriend. Okay?”
At the words that he shouldn’t let it scar, Han-gyeom had no choice but to go into the changing room. When he had gotten treatment for his burn last time, Hae-jun had personally shown him where the first-aid kit was. Han-gyeom opened the cabinet at the very end and took it out. He squeezed ointment onto a cotton swab, applied it to the wound, and put on a waterproof bandage, but there was no strength at all in his movements through that whole sequence.
“When I talk to them, I feel like I’m more drawn in somehow.”
The conversation those customers had earlier lingered in his head like an afterimage.
“At first, sure, people act like they can’t live without each other, but later the love cools off and the relationship goes wrong—that’s obvious, so why even bother doing that? If it’s the kind of relationship that falls apart the moment one side ends it unilaterally, isn’t that kind of lame?”
And on top of that, even what In-seok had said came back to life in this moment, making his heart pound uncontrollably. This wasn’t because of excitement or happiness at all. It was an anxiety he couldn’t explain. It was the first time he had ever felt this kind of emotion while dating Won-hyeok.
“No. Why do I keep feeling like this…?”
As was his habit, Han-gyeom slapped both cheeks lightly and pulled himself together. He couldn’t let himself be eaten away by useless thoughts. Repeating that to himself, he stepped back outside, only to see Won-hyeok and Hae-jun talking at the register.
Hae-jun handed Won-hyeok a vibrating pager with a smile. Won-hyeok answered with a smile of his own, said something, then went back to his seat.
“Ah, Han-gyeom. How’s your hand?”
“It’s okay. It really is just a tiny cut.”
“That’s a relief. Won-hyeok-ssi was really worried about you.”
“…What?”
Hae-jun smiled brightly and patted Han-gyeom on the shoulder. But Han-gyeom barely heard the part about Won-hyeok having worried. What startled him without meaning to was the familiar way Hae-jun called him “Won-hyeok-ssi.” Just a little while ago, hadn’t he only been calling him your boyfriend?
Soon the drink for Won-hyeok was finished, and Han-gyeom firmly pressed the number on his pager.
“Your hand—”
The moment Won-hyeok came to the pickup counter, he took Han-gyeom’s hand and examined it from every angle.
“Stop getting hurt. Your skin’s so pale that if it scars, it’ll show even more. You got burned before too. Are you going to keep making me worry?”
Won-hyeok said it while staring gravely at the part covered by the waterproof bandage. But once again, none of his concern reached Han-gyeom’s ears. All he could think about was what kind of conversation he’d had with Hae-jun earlier, and why they had smiled.
“…Sunbae.”
“Yeah?”
“C-could you stop coming to this café now?”
