Chapter 83
“Gasp… Ruan. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
Joachim, startled by his brother’s sudden strange behavior, hurriedly approached.
Ruan couldn’t say something like “I’m afraid I might get swept up by a cat in heat” to his brother, who was looking at him with wide, worried eyes.
So Ruan just smiled awkwardly and answered.
“Ah… It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. By the way, how did you decide on the composition of the knights for the escort?”
As Ruan subtly changed the subject, Joachim, while still looking worriedly at Ruan’s flushed forehead, readily answered the question.
“We decided to draw all of them from the Frost Blade Knights. The composition is…”
As he listened to Joachim’s explanation, Ruan began to organize in his mind the people who would accompany them to the capital.
Thinking about what combination would cause the least stress for the Grand Duke.
After the Grand Duke accepted the trip to the capital, preparations for his journey were proceeding smoothly.
Traveling by horse and carriage for about ten days with the Grand Duke, who was a cat, then spending time in an unfamiliar place crowded with strangers, and then having to return again.
It was such a dreadful schedule that it seemed it might be better to go to the capital alone quickly and prevent Volker from holding the birthday celebration… But realistically, such a thing was impossible.
Once the trip to the capital was decided, Ruan was dedicating his efforts to arranging the journey in a way that would make it a little less difficult for the Grand Duke, who would be under tremendous stress.
‘Even so, it’s certain he’ll be very stressed… But if we can make it even a little easier…’
Worried about the stressful situations awaiting the Grand Duke, Ruan was so busy meticulously preparing for the trip to the capital that he hardly had time to sit down.
Moreover, that wasn’t all Ruan had to do.
Reinke was originally a place where job responsibilities were not clearly defined due to chronic staff shortages. As a result, Ruan was also in charge of many tasks that didn’t fall under the typical duties of an assistant.
And now, just as the monster wave had ended and it was time to recover from the damage and prepare for the next year, the Grand Duke, who was the final decision-maker, was about to be absent. It was inevitable that the workload of the officials, including Ruan, would increase.
Ruan had to grit his teeth and vow to expand the workforce in any way possible while working frantically with the officials whose dark circles threatened to reach their feet.
So busy that it was difficult to enter the bedroom in the evening…
Ruan, who had been thinking this, unconsciously let out a deep sigh.
‘Right. It’s an excuse.’
Honestly, no matter how busy he was, it wasn’t to the point where he couldn’t go to his bedroom within the Grand Duke’s castle. The reason why he hadn’t been able to return to his bedroom for several days was…
‘Because I don’t have the confidence to sleep in the same bed as the Grand Duke…’
Ruan rubbed his face vigorously with his hands.
Not being able to sleep in the same room for fear of getting swept up by a cat in heat.
Ruan himself knew how absurd this statement was. He felt self-loathing about it as well.
Moreover.
Ruan recalled the Grand Duke’s gaze during work hours.
‘He really looked extremely angry…’
He was probably already stressed because of being in heat, and now a human was suddenly avoiding him, so of course he would be.
It was bad enough to feel sorry when he couldn’t pet the cat welcoming him back from an outing because his hands weren’t washed yet, but now he was avoiding all private situations altogether. Ruan was only tormented by guilt every time he saw the Grand Duke.
‘But at this rate, I really feel like something might happen.’
That couldn’t be allowed to happen.
This was partly because Ruan saw the Grand Duke as his cat, but it wasn’t solely because of that.
Ruan was also aware that the Grand Duke, whom he treated like a cat, was also human.
He often forgot this because the Grand Duke was so cat-like, and was surprised whenever he remembered it… But the Grand Duke clearly had a human aspect as well. Wasn’t that why Ruan kept feeling attracted to the Grand Duke’s skinship in the first place?
But even if the Grand Duke was human, he couldn’t let things flow in that direction in this situation.
Because the Grand Duke was an extremely precious existence to Ruan.
Suddenly, he was living as a stranger in a strange world. This meant that in an instant, he had lost everything that had made up his life until now and everything that had supported and driven his life. “Kim Ha-jin,” who had suddenly lost both himself and the driving force that moved him, had fallen into panic.
The reason he was able to establish a new foundation for his life here as “Ruan Daen” was because he met the Grand Duke.
Because he met the Grand Duke, Ruan recalled that he was a person who liked cats.
While taking care of the Grand Duke, who was a cat, he realized that he wasn’t a person who couldn’t do anything in this world either.
With the desire to help the Grand Duke, he began to think about what he should do and how he should live in the future.
And all of this was also thanks to the affection the Grand Duke had given to Ruan.
How could such an existence not be special, not be precious? It couldn’t be denied that all these processes happened quickly because the Grand Duke was a cat, but beyond all that, the Grand Duke was an extremely important existence to Ruan.
Thanks to the Grand Duke, Ruan was able to put down roots in this world, form relationships with the people of this world, and solidify his life. Of course, he was able to fully accept the affection of the Daen family people who had always supported him with kindness.
As a result, the world of “Kim Ha-jin,” who had become “Ruan Daen,” became a broader and more solid place.
And even in this expanded world, the Grand Duke still stood at the very center of the life of “Kim Ha-jin,” who had become “Ruan Daen.”
And with such an existence… have a one-night stand? Or become friends with benefits?
‘How could I do that?’
The Grand Duke was human but at the same time a cat, and the cat Grand Duke was now in heat. He wasn’t desiring skinship due to any special emotion. It meant that he wanted skinship purely due to physiological needs, because he had to, because if he didn’t, he would be engulfed in stress and discomfort.
If he were to spend the night with the Grand Duke in such a state, how would that be any different from a one-night stand?
Ruan wanted to spend the rest of his life as “Ruan Daen” with the Grand Duke. In this world, his life had already become a state where “with whom to live” was far more important than “how to live,” and the most important of that “whom” was naturally the Grand Duke.
He wanted to live cherishing the Grand Duke, finding ways to become happier together with the Grand Duke.
But if he were to spend such a night with him, without affection or meaning. And if that were to be repeated… Many things would be broken in some way.
Ruan didn’t want that. He sincerely hoped it wouldn’t happen.
‘Of course, it’s also largely because the Grand Duke feels like a cat.’
Anyway, for whatever reason, sharing skinship with the Grand Duke in a half-hearted way shouldn’t happen.
‘But I can’t keep avoiding the Grand Duke like this for long either.’
Another long sigh escaped Ruan’s lips.
“Um… Ruan.”
At the sudden call, Ruan, who had been lost in the worries that had been filling his mind for the past few days, jerked his head up. Joachim was looking at Ruan with worried eyes.
Ruan quickly composed his gloomy expression and answered.
“Ah, yes, brother. I’m sorry. I was lost in thought for a moment.”
Joachim, who had been carefully observing Ruan, cautiously opened his mouth.
“Ruan. I’m sorry if I’m wrong, but… Is there a problem with His Grace? You seem to have a lot on your mind lately…”
So it was noticeable after all.
He hadn’t been paying attention to other people’s gazes because his head was so complicated with thoughts about himself and the Grand Duke, but thinking about it now, it was a situation where it would have been more difficult for those around him not to notice.
Ruan had been so diligently avoiding the Grand Duke, and he hadn’t returned to the bedroom for several days. It was impossible for those working in the inner castle not to read the atmosphere.
‘If Joachim is bringing it up, I guess everyone must have noticed. I didn’t mean to cause worry.’
Ruan spoke, trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible.
“It’s nothing. It’s not a big deal, so you don’t need to worry.”
“But…”
Despite Ruan’s denial, Joachim’s expression, full of worry, showed no sign of easing.
Ruan thought as he looked at Joachim.
‘With Joachim’s personality, he must be extremely worried… The others probably are too.’
Come to think of it, he remembered Hans trying to say something several times but stopping.
It seemed he should reach a conclusion quickly, if only to avoid causing worry to those around him.
Even if not for that reason, the life of avoiding the Grand Duke would soon come to an end anyway. Because… there weren’t many days left until their departure for the capital.
When traveling to the capital, Ruan, as the assistant, would be riding in the same carriage as the Grand Duke.
For the journey of nearly ten days, where the only task was to travel, they would be spending time together, just the two of them, in the narrow and confined space of a carriage, all day long.
With nowhere to escape.
* * *
The Grand Duke was lost in thought.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
