Chapter 111
Ludwig Steiner often told his son, who loved people excessively, that someday he would meet someone so special that they would stand out distinctly from all his overflowing affections.
When that happens, it wouldn’t be like when you can’t meet other people – you might feel a little upset, but you’d still eat, play, and meet new people, eventually forgetting about it. Instead, when you can’t meet that person, it would feel like a part of you is empty, and all you can do is wait.
That irreplaceable, special feeling is love, he said. So when you meet someone who evokes such special feelings, you must never let them go.
When Ralph, who considered everyone he met special and liked them excessively, showed signs of not understanding this, Ludwig would add with a smile:
‘Well, you’ll understand when the time comes. I didn’t know what it was either until I met your mother.’
Ralph had heard this advice, which always led to his parents’ love story, quite a few times since childhood.
But father, you never told me that realizing what that special feeling is could happen when witnessing the moment the person you love realizes their love for someone else.
Blinking his eyes, Ralph recalled the scene he had witnessed that day, his eyelashes moving up and down as slowly as the back of a sleeping puppy.
The pale face that had looked particularly tired and gloomy that day, which he had worried about but could only manage to make smile briefly despite his efforts. The moment understanding dawned on that face, followed by tenderness, determination, excitement. The moment when brilliant and gentle colors arose, and those piercingly blue eyes began to sparkle again as some emotion filled them.
Seeing that, Ralph understood why Ludwig had called love such a special emotion.
Yes, it was something that could never be mistaken or misunderstood.
After all, you who are thinking of him right now are so beautifully radiant.
Even Ralph, who until now hadn’t known what love was, could recognize it at first sight. There was no room for confusion.
What else could you call that brilliantly beautiful thing if not love? Like the day when gentle sunlight breaks into pieces as it catches on leaves, or the colorful air that hits your nose when you run with all your might. How could that twinkling beauty that makes your heart ache be called by any other name?
Love truly was an emotion special enough to be clearly distinguished from others.
As soon as he realized that what he was seeing was love, Ralph also understood that his father’s suggestion to imagine the loss of the loved one as proof of love was indeed appropriate.
From now on, if Ruan couldn’t meet Dietrich, a part of him would be left empty, helplessly waiting for him. Even if Dietrich disappeared, that first place in his heart would always remain Dietrich’s. Even in moments when he might be laughing with someone else, a part of his heart would be longing for Dietrich.
Losing Dietrich would mean that much to Ruan.
Because Dietrich had become someone special to Ruan, clearly distinguished from anyone else. Because that’s what love is.
And the same would be true for Ralph, who now found himself on the other side of Ruan’s “clear distinction” line.
Ralph looked at Ruan, who was sparkling like sunlight on water, with a face that seemed ready to run to Dietrich at any moment. It was an expression Ralph could never make. This must be what it means to be clearly distinguished.
That fact made his heart ache. He found himself blinking repeatedly without realizing it.
But still.
He preferred this sparkling appearance to the listless one he had seen all day. He really hated seeing that kind person sad.
So Ralph sent Ruan off with a smiling face.
On his way back alone, walking at a slightly slower pace, Ralph thought:
I’m going to miss you so much from now on. I’m going to dislike the time without you. But I’ll just keep wanting to see you, and I’ll have to spend countless hours without you. There will be so many times like this.
This is quite a predicament.
It was the next day when he heard that Ruan had received a proposal from Dietrich and had accepted it.
“Sigh…”
Ralph sank deep into his chair’s backrest.
There was a lot to do, but he didn’t really want to meet people. For the past few days, wherever he went, whoever he met, all they talked about was Dietrich and Ruan. And when that happened, Ralph could do nothing but blink his eyes.
There was someone he wanted to see, but… that person who had just received a proposal from their loved one must be very busy right now. Ralph buried his face in his arms, making a small groan.
Knock knock-
It was then that he heard a knock on the office door.
“Guild Master, are you feeling down again? There’s a guest here.”
The voice that came from outside the door was that of Nina, his aide, announcing a visitor. Usually, his heart would flutter and his tail would wag wondering who had come, but… right now, he wasn’t really in the mood. Thinking that he’d like to postpone it if possible, Ralph opened his mouth.
“Nina, today I…”
But his aide, who knew him very well, announced the visitor’s name before Ralph could properly start speaking.
“Mr. Ruan Daen, the assistant to Grand Duke Reinke, is here.”
At the unexpected name, Ralph’s ears, which had been drooping, perked up.
Ruan… is here?
* * *
Ruan looked at the door of the Guild Master’s office with an awkward feeling.
‘He seems busy… Did I come at a bad time?’
After barely persuading the Grand Duke that doing such things every day might kill a weak human who couldn’t even be considered an animal, and leaving behind the Grand Duke whose eyes had become full of mischievous intentions at that story, Ruan had awkwardly faced the knights, dealt with various minor tasks, and before he knew it, the day to return to Reinke was approaching rapidly.
So he came to greet Ralph in advance, but… was the timing really bad?
‘Well, of course the Steiner Guild Master must be incredibly busy.’
Just as Ruan was about to say he’d come back later, Ralph’s aide, standing in front of Ruan, raised her voice and said:
“He’s actually right in front of the door now. Stop dawdling and greet your guest.”
And at the same time as those words.
Bang!
The door flew open and Ralph, with his eyes wide open, burst out.
“Assistant?”
At the sight that seemed genuinely surprised, Ruan smiled awkwardly and said:
“There’s not much time left before I return to Reinke. I wanted to come and greet you. I hope I’m not causing trouble when you’re so busy.”
Ralph hastily stepped aside from the door and said:
“No, no. Not at all. Please come in.”
“Then excuse me.”
As Ruan followed Ralph in, he felt the door closing behind him. A long tail had already popped out behind Ralph, who was now heading towards his seat. As always, the wagging tail seemed to be thinking about something as it gradually stopped moving and drooped.
‘Why? Did something happen?’
As Ruan was wondering, Ralph spoke in a gloomy voice:
“Really… There’s not much time left until you leave.”
Was he sad about parting? Ruan felt the same way about parting with Ralph, so he immediately replied:
“That’s right. That’s why I thought I must see the Guild Master before I leave, but am I not interrupting your busy schedule?”
“No. Not at all. As my aide said, I wasn’t exactly dawdl… well, anyway, I wasn’t in a busy situation. By the way, you’ll have a tough time traveling all the way to Reinke.”
“I’m not used to riding in carriages, so that will be a bit difficult… But compared to the Guild Master who always travels across the entire continent, it’s nothing.”
As Ruan answered, he noticed Ralph’s tail starting to wag gently again.
‘I thought I’d feel relieved now that my stay in the capital is coming to an end. But when I go back, I won’t be able to see that sight for a long time.’
As he was thinking how regrettable that was, he noticed the yellow ears on top of Ralph’s head twitching curiously, as if wondering about the continued silence from behind. When Ralph finally turned around and tilted his head in confusion, Ruan couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“More than that, you’ll have a hard time missing me, won’t you?”
“Pardon?”
Ruan replied to Ralph, who was looking at him with wide eyes:
“Last time, after you returned to the capital, I missed you a lot. It felt so strange without you that I would even startle myself, thinking it was you whenever I saw something yellow. That went on for quite a while… I’m sure the aftereffects will be long this time too.”
Ralph, who seemed to have heard something unexpected, looked at Ruan and asked in a slightly dazed voice:
“You… missed me?”
Ruan answered readily:
“Yes. To the point where I was worried about how I’d manage.”
“When I’m not there, you miss me that much?”
“Yes. Of course.”
Ralph, who had been asking repeatedly, blinked his gentle eyes for a moment, looking at Ruan after his confident answer. Then, he smiled softly.
“Then… that’s enough for me.”
Ralph licked his lips with his tongue and opened his mouth.
“Assistant. I…”
“Yes. Go on.”
“Could you make me one promise?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
