Chapter 3. Beauty (6)
Ronen and Osian, with clothes spread all over the floor, wore expressions of utter disbelief. Ronen, who had lost his words, let out a voice mixed with sighs.
“A dress would be better after all.”
The dress he had worn during his recent walk would have been relatively acceptable. It was appropriately modest and was everyday wear among women.
The problem was that he had dreamed of intertwining bodies with Eckart while wearing that dress… Trying hard to ignore the guilt and strange heat that seemed to creep up and devour his body, Ronen continued in a voice mixed with sighs.
“If I put on one more layer over it, it shouldn’t look too awkward.”
Indeed, no one had looked at Ronen strangely when he walked around in a dress. Covetous gazes were another matter.
“Can you help me?”
“…I’ll do my best.”
Osian was about to take away the remaining clothes, leaving only the dress and cape. Suddenly, something caught his eye.
“Wait a moment.”
Ronen, who had removed a yellow ribbon decoration from among the clothes in Osian’s arms, continued.
“I’d like you to attach this to the shoes I’ll wear out.”
At this, Osian urgently tried to dissuade him with a startled voice.
“But that’s…”
“Please. I can’t go out adorned only with lies. If I did that, I wouldn’t be able to forgive my complete self.”
At Ronen’s earnest request, Osian hesitated before accepting the ribbon, saying he understood. Soon, for the outing preparations, the shackles that had been constraining Ronen’s ankles were unlocked. The long iron chain connected to the wall settled on the floor.
Being freed from the shackles that had always held his ankles except when washing, changing the padded cloth, when guests demanded it, or when going out with the Grand Duke was brief. Instead, small shackles made for outings bound both his legs. Unable to become completely free, Ronen got into the carriage with Osian and two guards. Just that was enough—his expression was bright as he looked out the window.
***
Attendant Osian and the guards finished their confessions and returned to the carriage. Only Ronen remained. Ronen, who had gotten out of the carriage and entered the cathedral, met the eyes of approaching knights. They were definitely knights judging by their attire, but with drunken faces grinning foolishly, they were closer to mercenaries.
So he had hoped it wouldn’t be the case, but… The knights looked at each other and giggled, then began to surround Ronen.
“Where are you going in such a hurry, miss?”
“Are you stupid? Obviously she’s going to pray!”
“Ah, I see. I momentarily forgot where we were.”
“Of all places, Duran’s cathedral—she looks virtuous but perhaps isn’t so virtuous inside?”
“What, did some handsome man seduce you into setting up a separate household behind your husband’s back? What’s the point of confessing to God with the same mouth that screams in ecstasy on top of your lover every night?”
“If you’ve committed sins, you should be punished. As for punishment, I think I could help… with my big, thick club.”
They laughed among themselves. Every time Ronen tried to turn away to escape somehow, they blocked his path, and at their crude jokes, Ronen’s face filled with contempt. What vulgar and bizarre behavior this was inside a cathedral that should be sacred.
He had already heard from Osian that Duran was in disorder because of some ill-behaved soldiers, but he hadn’t expected to experience it so directly. To encounter them like this, of all times. Fearing that his voice would reveal he was a man in women’s clothing, he kept his mouth firmly shut and had just turned his body around completely when—
“Where are you running?”
One knight grabbed Ronen’s arm and pulled him, causing him to lose his balance and stagger greatly. It was difficult to maintain balance due to the iron chain connecting both ankles. The knights laughed, finding it amusing how Ronen seemed to hang on the knight’s arm.
“You’re weaker than you look, aren’t you? Or is your body not well because your lover tormented you too much?”
“I think so too. It’s strange how particularly weak your legs are… Hey, what’s that? That’s a yellow ribbon, isn’t it?”
Because his body was tilted, the dress lifted slightly, revealing his shoes. The particularly bright yellow color couldn’t help but catch the knights’ eyes.
“What, she was a prostitute?”
“I thought she was some wealthy lady. Hey, don’t you know prostitutes can’t enter here?”
“What’s a whore doing praying? Instead of that, why don’t you spend a hot night with us?”
It was a ribbon he had deliberately attached without thinking to hide it, but he didn’t want to be discovered by these back-alley mercenaries. Just as he was thinking he’d have to call the guards waiting in the carriage, the hand gripping Ronen’s arm fell away.
“Aaaaaargh.”
It wasn’t released voluntarily but was forcibly grabbed and twisted off by someone. Looking at the owner of the hand with surprised eyes, Ronen recognized the man. Eckart. Unable to understand why this man was here, twisting a knight’s arm and dragging him away, Ronen stared up at him blankly.
“Harassment even inside a cathedral. It’s shameful that I entrusted my back to such people.”
As always, beneath his expressionless face, savage light gleamed sharply in his eyes, showing just how angry he was right now.
Eckart released the arm and looked over the group. There wasn’t a single familiar face, but judging by their attire, they must have fought alongside him at some point.
The knight whose arm had been twisted tried to draw his sword with a flushed face, but the most sensible among them stopped him. Given the location and seeming to recognize who Eckart was.
“Fuck it, I’m avoiding him because he’s disgusting.”
The man who pretended to spit, along with his group, headed toward the entrance while still unable to calm his anger, glaring at Ronen.
“Shouldn’t we chase out that prostitute too? Where does such a dirty woman get off setting foot in a cathedral!”
At his attitude, as if Ronen had been the one picking a fight, Ronen was simply flabbergasted. He was nothing but a despicable man, strong only against the weak.
Eckart seemed to have similar thoughts, as he spoke without being able to hide his contempt.
“You did not believe, but the prostitutes believed; and even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe. Therefore the prostitutes will enter the kingdom of God before you.” (*Matthew 21:32)
When he recited the biblical passage saying that God would prioritize prostitutes who believe in Him over knights who don’t, they could say nothing more and turned away. Those who dared cause disturbances even within a cathedral clearly held God in contempt.
“Do you really think God would guide someone like me, a prostitute?”
Ronen spoke for the first time. Eckart, who belatedly recognized that the low, calm beautiful voice—closer to male than female—was Ronen’s voice, hurriedly answered.
“Of course. It is said that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (*Acts 2:21)
This man truly believed that even he was qualified to be embraced in God’s arms. Eckart’s words about praying for them seemed to echo again. Hearing that someone would pray for him was a first in his life, and it was sweeter to him than any love confession.
Ronen grabbed the hand of Eckart, who seemed about to turn away immediately as if he had finished his duty. Eckart looked down at Ronen’s hand holding his with a wavering gaze. His horizontally long eyes, which left an even sharper impression, opened wide.
“I…”
To encounter Eckart like this—it was surely an opportunity given by God. No, actually, even if it was a trap set by the devil, it didn’t matter much. If he could be with Eckart even for a moment, he would willingly walk into it with his own feet.
Feeling his rapidly beating heart vividly, Ronen barely managed to open his mouth.
“I have a request.”
“…Please speak.”
Though it would be natural to be flustered, he was a man rarely shaken. His voice, which created a calm, low resonance, was very pleasant to hear. He wanted to hear more.
“I would like you to hear my confession.”
Eckart was troubled and didn’t know what to say. Since Ronen, who was holding his hand, was showing his earnestness with his whole body, he chose his words as carefully as possible.
“I am not an ordained priest, so I cannot hear sins or seek forgiveness. Let me bring another priest…”
“No one will listen to my confession.”
Ronen cut off his words with a firm voice and added, looking into Eckart’s eyes as he slowly closed his parted lips.
“Because I am a prostitute who sells my body.”
A small tremor spread through his chillingly blue eyes. The jewel-like beautiful colored eyes seemed momentarily empty, containing nothing, but when looked at closely, they were like a deep, deep abyss filled with something.
“Aren’t we the same as believers who serve God? Though you haven’t received ordination, I think practicing God’s word close to God is the same whether you’re a priest or a holy knight.”
“…I learned that only priests who received the authority to absolve from authority figures can forgive sins.”
“Can’t you even pray for me?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
