#156
Shin Haejun called his secretary and then quickly dragged me somewhere. After riding in a luxurious car, we arrived at a familiar-looking building.
I wondered why this place felt so familiar. Although I felt nervous, I tried not to show it to Shin Haejun as we took the elevator up. When we arrived, I saw the door of an opulent home.
“I didn’t expect to invite you like this for the first time… Come in quickly.”
Shin Haejun said gruffly with a slightly reddened face. Despite his tone suggesting that my coming was a mistake, he opened the door wide.
As I carefully entered, I felt increasingly strange. What did he mean by “first time”? Everything from the door to the interior seemed completely familiar…
It felt like I had been in and out of this house dozens of times, but the owner was saying it was the first time. Was this what they call déjà vu?
Anyway, Shin Haejun led me to the sofa with oddly excited steps. As I sat down on the sofa as instructed, he started waiting for something with an anxious face, arms crossed.
“Ah, why isn’t it coming?”
He muttered with a disgruntled face, then turned his gaze to me.
“What do you mean you suddenly can’t remember?”
Shouldn’t he have asked this from the beginning?
I felt a bit perplexed, but I answered honestly.
“Well, it seems my memory has been confused since the traffic accident…”
“What?”
Suddenly, Shin Haejun exclaimed with a shocked face and pulled me close, examining my face from different angles. He looked as if something had gone terribly wrong.
“Is that why you were crying earlier? Because you had a traffic accident?”
“Huh?”
That’s not it, it was a traffic accident from before…
“What bastard hit someone and ran away? How dare they leave you on the street like that?”
Shin Haejun bit his lip as he thoroughly examined my face and appearance.
After hearing what Shin Haejun said, I became confused too. For some reason, he seemed to think I had been in a traffic accident today.
Feeling like I had turned an innocent imaginary person into a hit-and-run driver, I hastily shook my head.
“No, it was before! I mean before!”
“Before?”
“I definitely had a big traffic accident… while trying to save someone.”
At my words, Shin Haejun suddenly covered his forehead with his hand.
“You don’t have a fever. But something serious must have happened.”
“Well, it is serious since I can’t remember.”
“No, you’ve never had an accident in your life, so seeing you like this, it seems your memories are confused… Did you fall or feel sick anywhere today?”
Never had an accident? That can’t be right. I’m sure there was a car accident…!
Unable to accept this, I was about to argue when suddenly the doorbell rang. Shin Haejun left the living room in an instant and soon returned with several people.
After that, someone who seemed to be a hospital director examined me and started whispering with Shin Haejun about needing to visit the hospital to check if there was anything wrong with my head.
No matter how I asked about my fragmented memories, I couldn’t get any answers. What Shin Haejun told me was that I had never been in an accident, my mother was alive… I had never worked at a company, and I was really 21 years old!
Moreover, Shin Haejun said he was the young master of the house where my “mother” worked as a live-in housekeeper, and that we were childhood friends who grew up together in the same house.
Something was very, very wrong here. Am I actually crazy? Or is this some kind of… delusion right before death?
“Seizure medication…”
At this point, I should be having a seizure. Thinking I must have some with me, I tried to search my bag, but Shin Haejun looked at me as if asking what I was talking about.
“What seizure medication? Don’t tell me your heart hurts?”
Well, my heart does tighten when I have a seizure… But clearly, there was no reaction now. In fact, even the suicidal thoughts that used to torment me from time to time had disappeared, making me feel strange.
“I, from the psychiatrist…”
“Psychiatrist? Ah, maybe your memory confusion is psychogenic? Are you saying we should go to a psychiatrist?”
This is really strange. I thought he would definitely talk about my prescription when I mentioned the psychiatrist.
‘Something is really wrong here. Very wrong!’
***
It seems something extraordinary has definitely happened.
After barely stopping Shin Haejun, who was insisting on going to the hospital for an MRI, I sat quietly on the sofa. Then, Shin Haejun, who had skeptically sent away the medical staff, came back and laid me down on the bed.
I felt tired, so I naturally lay down, and for some reason, Shin Haejun blushed again and covered his mouth with one hand.
“Lying down so naturally on someone else’s bed… you should be more cautious.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about. It’s not like we’ve only shared a bed for a day or two, right?
‘…Huh?’
It seems like incompatible memories keep mixing together.
So, is “me being a very ordinary office worker” just a strange memory created by brain confusion?
“Who… am I?”
As I muttered with an uneasy face, Shin Haejun sat on the edge of the bed and looked at me. It was a gaze full of emotion. Barely holding back a grin and maintaining a normal expression, he answered my question in great detail.
“You’re Lee Jaeha, of course.”
“No, clearly… in my memory, I don’t have parents… surely…”
As I mumbled in confusion, Shin Haejun tapped my forehead with his index finger. It looked like a flick, but there was no force behind it, so it didn’t hurt at all.
“Your mom would be really upset if she heard that. Killing off your perfectly healthy mother.”
“You’re a bit strange too. Something doesn’t make sense, but then it does… It’s unfamiliar, but familiar.”
“We’ve been together for 14 years, you know?”
“Are we really childhood friends?”
Somehow, it feels like we were… more than that. Am I mistaken?
I tilted my head, then suddenly sat up and pulled Shin Haejun close. When I hugged him, I could feel his heart pounding.
‘Yes, this kind of… feeling.’
I was the one who hugged Shin Haejun, but because of the difference in our builds, it was more like I was completely enveloped.
As I tilted my head, I suddenly felt the body against mine beating very loudly. When I pulled away and looked up, I saw that Shin Haejun’s face had turned completely red.
“You… you…!”
“Weren’t we… this kind of relationship?”
As I tilted my head once more and muttered, Shin Haejun’s eyes flashed. He rolled his eyes once and then quickly grabbed my hand.
“That’s right! We’re lovers!”
I think I heard a small “Shit, is this okay?” before that. Anyway, Shin Haejun had a brazen and dubious expression, but it didn’t seem like a lie. More precisely, Shin Haejun seemed to be lying, but the “lovers” part felt true.
I nodded, saying “Hmm.” Then, as I looked down because the hand holding mine was so hot, I saw Shin Haejun’s slender fingers.
“Where’s the ring… Huh?”
Seeing the empty finger somehow made me very upset, and I blurted it out. Then I tapped my forehead. My memories were really going back and forth.
‘If I try to organize it…’
Clearly, there were 25 years of life vividly remaining in my memory. Completely, up to the moment of being hit by a car at the end.
But the sense of familiarity with Kim Sehyun, whom I met earlier, or Shin Haejun, who I’m facing now, was unusually clear. At this level, they were certainly real people in my memory. Above all, the fact that I could recall their names and appearances without being told.
However, when I look at the two memories, there’s no overlap. Above all, he says we’ve been together for 14 years, but I clearly don’t have that much accumulated memory. My childhood, which was full of depression, is clearly remembered.
These are clearly incompatible memories…
[Dowoon hyung♥]
Suddenly, my phone rang. When I took it out of my pocket, Hyun Dowoon’s name was on the screen.
I was startled and tried to answer the phone, but Shin Haejun, who had been talking continuously in front of me, snatched the phone away.
“What are you doing?”
“You don’t need to answer calls like this.”
Shin Haejun’s face as he said this looked a bit anxious. I know they don’t like each other, but…
‘Huh?’
Strange thoughts keep popping up. I frowned and shook my head, reaching out my hand.
“Give me the phone.”
“No.”
Shin Haejun, frowning, answered the call.
– Hello, Jaeha…
“You’ve got the wrong number.”
And he hung up. Of course, the phone rang again, but he turned down the volume and didn’t answer.
Didn’t they get along well despite everything? They disliked each other, but I don’t think it was to this extent.
“What are you doing with someone else’s phone?”
When I asked with my arms crossed, Shin Haejun seemed to realize his behavior was a bit strange and turned his head away with an embarrassed face.
“I don’t know, don’t answer calls or try to find memories or anything.”
His oddly sulky face made me realize he was definitely younger than me. Anyway, he’s saying ridiculous things. I need to find my memories quickly to get rid of this strange sense of déjà vu and return to my life.
I pounced on Shin Haejun. He fell back as if experiencing this for the first time. His face burning up again was a bonus.
Regardless, I reached out and grabbed the phone that had been carelessly thrown. Then I answered the call that was continuously ringing on silent mode.
“Hello?”
– …Lee Jaeha. Where are you now?
And over the phone, I heard Hyun Dowoon’s terrifyingly angry voice.
– You left the cafe early, what are you doing meeting with Shin Haejun?
Um… where did the gentle formal speech go…?
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
