#150
“Why… like this… This is too much!”
When I stammered in surprise to Nikki, she gave a bitter smile.
“When we said Guide Lee Jaeha wanted to draw, Ray showed a lot of interest. He said if you’re going to draw landscapes, he wants you to paint them in oil or acrylic and give them as a gift.”
Why is he making a fuss about taking my paintings…? I opened my eyes wide in bewilderment at him deciding on his own without even promising anything, and Nikki shook her head.
“Try to go along with it as much as possible. Ray has a tyrannical streak, and he’s very difficult to handle if things don’t go his way.”
“No, I’ve never painted with oils in the first place!”
“Just draw roughly. I don’t think Ray is expecting a great masterpiece. He’s probably just interested.”
“That… uh…”
I wanted to say something to stop this, but Nikki smiled as if she wouldn’t tolerate even the slightest rebellion. It was clear she was passing it on to me because she couldn’t stop it herself.
‘Oh… come on…’
It was completely unreasonable, but considering what I’d seen of Ray so far, I could understand why he was acting like this. Anyway, I had planned to pretend to draw in a sketchbook, but this was completely impossible. There wasn’t even a notebook, let alone a sketchbook, so I had to use that big canvas no matter what.
Honestly, thinking back to my art classes in school, I knew I was terrible at drawing, so this felt like quite a big hurdle.
In any case, now that it had come to this, I needed to figure out how to draw a map on this canvas and then take it with me, but I couldn’t run away carrying a canvas bigger than my upper body. That meant I’d have to take the fabric…
“Then… please give me a knife or scissors!”
“A knife? What are you trying to do? We can’t give you a knife if it might cause problems…”
Nikki looked at me straight on, startled. She looked worried that I might do something dangerous with a knife.
Of course, I was planning to do something dangerous. I was thinking of drawing a map for escape and then tearing up the canvas.
“Ma-Masking tape! I need it to cut masking tape!”
“Masking tape?”
“I mean, I need it for painting.”
I barely managed to shout, remembering what I’d learned in school, and Nikki nodded as if she understood.
“Alright. I’ll bring it soon.”
Nikki said that, took a quick look around the art supplies, and went out. I slumped down in the chair in front of the easel and stared blankly at the large canvas. It was so big I didn’t know where to start. The paper I had in mind was at most the width of my forearm…
Still, I should think it’s fortunate that I have something to mark on. After adopting a positive mindset, I touched the canvas and then suddenly got up to bring the laptop.
I called up the photos I had hidden as files, checked how to draw them on the canvas, and then divided the area with a pencil. I wanted to make the map recognizable only to me while expressing it like a landscape painting, but I kept feeling overwhelmed. Still, I felt like I had to draw something.
Once I started drawing, I became completely immersed in the canvas. After dividing all the areas, I closed the laptop and was roughly marking with a pencil where to place trees and roads when I felt something tickle the back of my head.
I turned my head slightly, and Ray was standing behind me with a knife, scissors, and masking tape, looking at my canvas with a serious expression.
“Oh! You startled me!”
When I cried out in surprise, Ray started looking back and forth between the canvas and me. He had a very disappointed expression.
“I thought you’d be good at drawing since you said you wanted to… but this is really terrible…”
Ray looked back and forth a few more times and then bluntly criticized. I was tense, wondering how to answer if he asked why I drew a map, when I suddenly stared at Ray with round eyes.
“Hani, what on earth did you draw? This weird thing… Were you drawing an abstract painting instead of a landscape? Oh right, you can’t understand. What on earth is this?”
Ray kept tilting his head, trying to interpret my drawing. I, who was about to answer that ‘I was drawing along the path I walked at dawn, not a map,’ froze with a disgruntled expression. I didn’t know it was so badly drawn that he couldn’t even recognize it as a map.
He even mumbled all sorts of criticisms to himself, thinking I couldn’t understand what he was saying, and concluded by saying, “I’ve never seen such a badly drawn piece of trash. I should look at it when I want to laugh,” and then put down the items he had brought on the table and left quickly.
“What… what’s wrong with him…!”
When did I say I’d give it to him? I think it looks good, but he calls it abstract!
I know I’m not good at drawing, but isn’t that going too far? Someone worked hard to draw it…! I fumed alone for a bit, then cooled down and quietly sighed. Honestly, even I didn’t think it was a particularly well-drawn picture. Above all, I was relieved that he didn’t realize it was a map.
‘Let’s finish drawing the map.’
I picked up the brush with a sullen mood.
***
Knock knock knock.
While I was absorbed in drawing the map, I suddenly heard a knock at the door. With regret that I hadn’t finished drawing the outer areas, I got up and opened the door to find Liam standing there with an expressionless face.
‘Is it 1 AM already?’
Without windows, I had no sense of time. As I stared blankly, Liam tilted his head and looked at me. It seemed strange that I had called him but was just standing there blankly.
“Co-Come in.”
I used short English again to guide Liam into the room. Liam, who followed me in, seemed to flinch slightly when he saw my map, which irritated me, but since he was someone I needed to have a smooth conversation with, I swallowed my annoyance and invited him to sit on the sofa.
Sitting across from him, I opened the laptop and opened an internet translation service, which made Liam’s eyes widen a bit. In that state, I selected Korean-English and typed in the first message.
[Let’s talk using the translator.]
Liam nodded. I continued typing the message.
[Do you want to form a pair guide with me too?]
Worried about strange translations, I tried to write in a way that would be easy to translate, which somehow resulted in a very direct sentence. Thanks to that, the translation seemed to work well, and Liam shook his head. Then he gestured to take the laptop and typed.
[No, Ray wants it]
[What about your opinion?]
[My doctor?]
At this nonsensical response, I looked closer and realized I had meant to write “What do you mean?” but it had been translated as “doctor.” I scratched my head. It seemed I needed to be careful with each sentence, so I deliberately checked by translating from Korean to English and then back to Korean again as I continued the conversation.
[No, what do you want?]
[To grant what Ray wants.]
[Is Ray that precious to you?]
At my question, Liam nodded with a slightly softened expression. No matter how oblivious one might be, it seemed impossible not to notice that Liam liked Ray. Suppressing my curiosity about other people’s love lives, I prodded Liam once more.
[Ray is trying to pair you with me, are you okay with that too?]
[If Ray wants it, it’s fine. As long as Ray doesn’t leave my side, I don’t mind.]
[Isn’t breaking up the pair the same as breaking up?]
[Ray as a guide isn’t what’s important. As long as Ray knows my feelings and stays by my side, I don’t mind.]
Suddenly, I was reminded of Hyun Dowoon. He had said he didn’t care even if the matching rate was in the 1 percent range. He had said there was no problem because he loved me, not just as a guide…
I had several other things to say to Liam, but on impulse, I asked a sudden thought.
[What if what Ray wants is to leave your side?]
Liam’s face, looking down at the laptop, became very cold. For a moment, my body trembled. The air felt chilly, suggesting Liam was emitting some kind of energy.
“Wa-Wait a moment…!”
I frantically waved my arms. The mountain-like weight I felt on my body disappeared. As I leaned back on the sofa, breathing heavily as if I was exhausted, Liam apologized with a slightly apologetic face.
“I’m sorry. But you made me imagine something unpleasant…”
It seemed the mere imagination of Ray leaving made him terribly angry.
Maybe they felt the same way? Is that why they lied to me and tried to keep me by their side?
[If Ray tries to leave, what will you do? Will you threaten and deceive to keep him by your side, or will you let him go?]
Ignoring my trembling body, I asked the question once more. Liam looked down at the laptop screen with a serious face and slowly typed his answer.
[I would try to persuade him in any way possible. But if he has a definite reason for leaving that I can’t keep him by my side…]
Liam glared at the screen for a moment, then hunched over again and continued typing.
[I will follow Ray no matter what.]
Follow Ray…?
‘Did they feel the same way?’
Did they want to follow me somehow? But they can’t follow me to reality, can they? Maybe that’s why… did they think there was absolutely no way and had no choice but to lie to me?
Thinking about it that way, my feelings became complicated. If they really had no choice, could I just feel betrayed and be angry?
‘I accepted being a character in a novel quite smoothly.’
But how did they feel when they realized that only I wasn’t a character in the novel? I had never thought about that before.
‘Did they think there was absolutely no way… and despair and end up lying?’
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
