9. The Unavoidable Flag
As soon as I returned to my room, I locked the door tightly. My nerves were so frayed that I felt dizzy, wondering if anyone had seen me on my way back.
Only after I was completely alone did the tension finally release. I slid down against the door, exhaling the breath I had been holding. My heart pounded—loud, irregular.
‘What… did I just hear?’
Even the idea of going to Zone 1 together had already pushed past my limits. But now, he was talking about marriage. His words had shattered my expectations so thoroughly that I had no choice but to run away. I had even forgotten his insistence that we act like last night never happened.
—Seo-yul hyung, if we go to Zone 1, should we get married?
I had thought he was speaking lightly, just saying whatever came to mind. But when I turned and met his gaze, I saw nothing but sincerity. His eyes, vivid like flames, held not a single trace of deceit. He meant it.
When I heard those words—words that were practically a proposal—for just a fleeting moment, I imagined a future where I spent a much longer time with him than the time we had spent apart.
But reality was cruel. No one knew that better than I did. So, like a coward, I ran away again—without even properly rejecting him.
He hadn’t chased after me. That was, at least, a small relief. If he had, the entire mansion would have found out. They would have known that there was something between us.
‘The rumors about last night must have already spread by now.’
A crushing wave of despair washed over me. I pulled my knees up sharply and buried my face in them. Shame burned through me. Even for just a second, I had wavered at his words and dared to imagine a future with him.
As if I had the right to.
—Seo-yul hyung, I like you.
That moment when we had been closer than ever, he had whispered into my ear. His breath had trembled as he confessed, and I had wavered. I could only hope he hadn’t noticed. But with pheromones thick in the air, he probably had.
Let’s be honest. I could have pushed him away if I had really wanted to. My rationality had been blurred by the overwhelming pheromones, but I hadn’t completely lost control. He had been deliberately regulating his pheromones like that.
He had been giving me a choice. If I had truly rejected him with all my strength, he would have let me go.
But the more I touched him, the more I wanted. My honest desire to stay just a little longer had stopped me from pushing him away.
‘How shameless of me.’
A bitter laugh escaped me. What right did I have to like him? What was I thinking, letting his words shake me and picturing a future with him, even for a moment?
He was going to leave after tomorrow, anyway.
—Did you really not miss me at all?
His persistent question echoed in my head like a hallucination. I lifted my face from my knees, my lips parting slightly before I pressed them shut again.
But in the end, I couldn’t stop the emotions that had begun to rise.
“…I missed you.”
For the first time since he had come looking for me, I spoke my true feelings out loud. It was a cowardly confession that would never reach him, but I could no longer deny the truth I had recklessly let slip. My feelings for him had grown far beyond what I had imagined.
***
The day before the investigator from District 1 was set to leave, the mansion was bustling with preparations for a farewell party. The servants were thrilled that the lunatic who had aimed a gun at an innocent person on his first day was finally leaving, but Se-yul couldn’t share their joy.
After staying up all night, he rushed to Seo-yul’s room at the break of dawn. He needed to confirm that Seo-yul had been returned as promised, but the memories of last night kept resurfacing, making him hesitant to open the door.
Only a few days ago, they had been distant with each other. Even asking Seo-yul to persuade Shining had been a struggle for Se-yul, fearing it would make him uncomfortable. But as it turned out, that hesitation had been unnecessary. He was the only one unaware of how deep their relationship had already become—to the point of spending the night together.
“Shit…”
Se-yul was the only one who knew what had happened last night. If Seo-yul had returned quietly to his room, he could pretend it never happened. But he had no way of knowing whether Shining felt the same.
They no longer lived in an era where a single night’s mistake forced people into responsibility, but the problem was that both of them were the children of district leaders. If rumors spread, people would twist their relationship to fit whatever narrative they pleased.
‘In the end, it’ll be Seo-yul who suffers the consequences.’
If that happened, marriage talks would be unavoidable just to quell public scrutiny. Se-yul couldn’t help but suspect that this was exactly what Shining wanted.
He had known since childhood that Shining’s obsession with Seo-yul was far from ordinary. But he had been too caught up worrying about the immediate problems in front of him to remember that.
If only he had let go of the burden of managing the district in his father’s absence, he never would have made the foolish decision of putting Seo-yul in front of him. If he hadn’t done that, last night wouldn’t have happened.
“Haah…”
Even though he knew there was no point in regretting things after the fact, he couldn’t stop himself from wallowing in self-reproach. Leaning his forehead against the firmly shut door, Se-yul let out a pained groan, drowning in overwhelming guilt.
A dull thud echoed, and then he heard Seo-yul’s voice from inside. “Come in.”
Startled, Se-yul realized he had unconsciously knocked on the door.
“I’m coming in, hyung.”
Forcing his voice to remain steady, Se-yul tried to calm his racing heart. He took a deep breath before cautiously turning the doorknob. Peeking inside, he saw Seo-yul perched on the windowsill, smoking a cigarette.
“You’re smoking again?”
Despite Se-yul’s scolding, Seo-yul merely shrugged.
The heavy silence that followed made Se-yul hesitate, but after a moment, he slowly walked over to where Seo-yul was.
The table was a mess. An ashtray had been knocked over, and cigarette butts were scattered carelessly. Seo-yul wasn’t normally the type to leave things in such disarray—something was definitely off.
“Hyung, are you okay?”
He asked cautiously. Seo-yul, who had been gazing out the window, slowly turned his head toward him.
Se-yul caught the turmoil in his empty eyes in the brief silence that stretched between them.
Closing the distance, Se-yul plucked the cigarette from Seo-yul’s fingers. He set the overturned ashtray upright before pressing the cigarette into it to extinguish it.
On any other day, Seo-yul would have grumbled about it, but now, he simply watched in silence as Se-yul moved about. After brushing the ash from his fingers, Se-yul finally released his lower lip, which he had been biting down on hard.
“Last night—”
Now that he had started, it was difficult to find the right words to continue. How exactly was he supposed to ask this? Should he bluntly ask if Seo-yul had slept with Shining? No matter how close they were as brothers, there were limits to what could be asked.
But he needed to know what had happened last night in order to prepare for whatever came next. After briefly pausing to steady his chaotic thoughts, Se-yul pushed forward.
“You were with Shining last night, weren’t you?”
“…Yeah.”
He had already known, but hearing it confirmed by Seo-yul’s own lips made the impact twice as heavy. Se-yul clenched his trembling fingers into a fist and stared at Seo-yul’s vacant, unreadable eyes.
“Did you—”
“Nothing happened.”
Before Se-yul could force out the real question, Seo-yul answered first. He hadn’t specified anything, but Se-yul immediately understood what he meant. Without realizing it, he almost let out a sigh of relief.
“There’s nothing for you to worry about, Se-yul.”
Seo-yul’s voice, though slightly unsteady, carried enough conviction that Se-yul knew he wasn’t lying. There were still countless things that felt off, but Se-yul chose to believe him.
“Then that’s enough.”
He still had a mountain of questions, but it didn’t seem like he would be able to get anything more out of Seo-yul, who had completely shut down. Frustrated, Se-yul reached for a cigarette from the messy table.
“What the hell, Han Se-yul. You just took mine away, and now you’re smoking?”
“It’s my first one today.”
Se-yul lit the cigarette right in front of Seo-yul, exhaling as he turned his gaze out the window toward the vast green forest. A faint heat drifted in with the breeze through the open window, stirring up the tight knot in his chest.
After a few moments of silence, Se-yul found himself unable to bear the heavy atmosphere any longer. He stood abruptly, using the preparations for the farewell party as an excuse to leave.
Seo-yul didn’t stop him.
Not even the usual “go ahead” as Se-yul shut the door behind him.
And yet, Se-yul couldn’t bring himself to walk away. Every part of him wanted to storm over to Shining and punch him until the frustration in his chest faded.
The only thing stopping him was knowing that he couldn’t.
Leaning against the closed door, he took a deep breath, trying to suppress the turmoil inside.
Then, in the distance, he saw a butler rushing toward him in a hurry.
Raising his tired eyes to meet the butler’s frantic gaze, Se-yul barely had a moment to react before the butler spoke.
“The district leader is asking for you.”
