Lies wouldn’t come easily, not even as an escape. I couldn’t bear to hurt the small figure that kept flickering in my mind, so I chose to keep my mouth shut.
As the silence stretched on, he couldn’t hold back any longer and reached out to me. The coldness of his touch against my cheek sent a shiver down my spine, but I didn’t push him away.
“Seo-yul hyung.”
He called my name in a quiet voice, tilting his head slightly. His long lashes fluttered softly, concealing the fire in his gaze, and then, his lips brushed against mine.
It was absurd, really—how reality always seemed to blur whenever we touched. I knew I could never afford to forget, yet I wanted to lean into it. That selfish desire, buried deep inside me, kept rising to the surface.
Even though I knew I shouldn’t.
“Tell me you missed me. Tell me you longed for me too, Seo-yul hyung.”
He whispered as he rested his forehead against mine. For a brief moment, I let myself sink into the dream. But the second I opened my eyes, reality came crashing down once more, impossible to ignore.
The suffocating guilt. The pheromones that had been thrown into disarray the moment I saw him again. The eight-year void between us—born of my own choices—that now held me captive, refusing to let go.
I snapped out of it and pushed him away. The distance between us was barely a few steps, yet it felt farther than the divide between Zone 1 and Zone 5. His crimson eyes wavered, as if he felt the same way.
“I…”
My lips parted, but the words never came. What was I about to say? Would it have been another lie, the kind I had grown so used to telling? Or would it have been the truth I was too afraid to reveal?
I didn’t know the answer myself. All I knew was that I had to run. Even though I knew it was cowardly, I couldn’t help it.
Because I was too afraid to face him head-on.
“You promised you wouldn’t run away.”
The word promise made me falter for a split second as I reached for the doorknob, but that hesitation lasted only a moment. I turned away without looking back, intent on leaving.
Then, his hollow laughter stopped me in my tracks. I watched as he pulled something out from his coat.
“If you never missed me, then I guess this isn’t needed anymore.”
His cryptic words made no sense until I turned around and saw him striking a match. He was about to burn something.
To my shock, it was the portrait of Vin—the very one I had searched for so desperately.
“Why is that—”
I barely had time to ask how the portrait, which had vanished from my room, ended up in his hands.
He smiled radiantly at me—just before slipping the corner of the portrait into the flame without the slightest hesitation.
The small fire hungrily devoured the worn, tattered edges of the portrait.
I had told myself, time and time again, that I would eventually let go of the past. That I would burn away the lingering regrets.
But as I stood there, watching the portrait disintegrate before my eyes, I realized—I wasn’t ready.
And for the first time, I lost the ability to hold myself together.
“No…!!”
I lunged toward him and snatched the burning portrait from his grasp. Ignoring the searing heat, I frantically smothered the flames with my bare hands, but it was too late—most of it had already turned to ash. The blackened, crumbling remnants could never be restored.
As I uncurled my trembling fingers, even the fragile ashes I had managed to hold onto scattered into nothing. My heart plummeted. I wasn’t ready to let go, but the last fragment of that memory had abandoned me without permission.
“No… No, no….”
He crouched down, watching me struggle to hold onto what was already gone. Then, as if to snap me out of my futile despair, he grasped my chin, forcing my gaze up to meet his.
My blurred vision filled with him. Those emotionless crimson eyes flickered between me and the worthless scraps of the portrait. Then, slowly, a smile spread across his pale, beautiful face.
“And even after this, you still want to say you never missed me?”
I bit down hard on my lip and glared at him. He traced the hollow of my cheek with his fingers, then let out a low laugh. His eyes—like embers still burning from the fire that had consumed the portrait—were filled with nothing but me. Only me.
“Answer me.”
“…I didn’t.”
With effort, I forced out the only response I could. He merely shrugged, as if he had expected it all along, and murmured under his breath.
“If you’re going to lie, at least do a better job.”
The moment his laughter faded, his pheromones flooded the room. Thick, overwhelming, and unmistakably predatory. My body reacted instantly, trembling under the sheer intensity of it, but I fought to hold my ground.
Desperate, I released my own pheromones—weak and utterly useless in comparison—but they were instantly drowned out. My unstable chocolate scent was devoured by the dense, floral fragrance that surrounded me, leaving me defenseless.
“Stop… it.”
“Stop what?”
“Your phero—ngh.”
His fingers slid from my chin to my lower lip, pressing down just enough to force my mouth open. His crimson eyes locked onto the small gap between my parted lips, dark with unrestrained desire.
A blaring red warning went off in my head. I needed to get out of here. Now. Someone—something—was screaming at me to run. But my body was no longer under my control. Even lifting a single finger felt impossible.
“I don’t believe you anymore, Seo-yul hyung. It’s all lies anyway, so I’ll just take it however I want.”
“Ah—”
“I think that’ll be better.”
Having reached his own conclusion, he leaned in.
I couldn’t move. The suffocating pheromones had left me paralyzed. Before I could react, his lips crushed against mine, prying my mouth open as his tongue delved in deep. My breath hitched in my throat, but the arm swiftly tightening around my waist only pulled me closer.
“Nn—”
The harder I tried to escape, the tighter he held me. His cool body pressed against mine, his touch freezing—yet his tongue was unbearably hot as it explored my mouth.
“Seo-yul hyung….”
He briefly moved away and pressed his lips to my pulsating neck. My body jolted and tensed at the light kiss. He buried his nose in my skin, breathing in, then effortlessly lifted my limp body.
My view suddenly elevated. He carried me towards the bed, each step marked by kisses on my face.
“Stop…”
“Stop what? We haven’t even started yet.”
He grinned and climbed onto the bed with me. The mattress creaked, and my body stiffened at the sound. Through my blurred vision, I saw his face hovering over mine.
His fair, beautiful face was flushed red, matching the fiery hue of his eyes.
“Can I kiss you?”
“No―mmph.”
His lips swiftly silenced my refusal. He pinned my hands down and started unbuttoning my shirt with his other hand, but his clumsy fingers kept slipping. Impatient, he finally gripped the shirt and tore it open.
I stared blankly at the buttons scattered everywhere. He caressed my exposed skin, his breath trembling. His pheromones intensified, choking me.
“Seo-yul, you’re so beautiful.”
He whispered, his lips pressed against my left chest, where my heart pounded. An intense heat spread from every point of contact, whether from his pheromones or instinct, I couldn’t tell.
I could only gasp, overwhelmed by the sensation.
“Look at me.”
He draped my limp arm over his shoulder and peeked through the gap. I opened my hazy eyes to meet his gaze, and his red eyes curved happily.
He shed his loosely worn shirt and pressed his body against mine. Our hearts pounded together, fast and heavy.
He sighed deeply and rested his head on my shoulder. His soft hair tickled my sensitive spots, making my waist twitch.
“I’ll be as gentle as possible. I don’t want to hurt you, Seo-yul.”
My feverish mind couldn’t comprehend his intentions. But when his hand slid down to an unexpected place, I jolted awake as if doused with cold water.
“Wh-what are you doing…?”
I tried to sit up, but he held me down. He paused, smiled, and kissed my cheek.
“Relax.”
“Ah!”
I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders. He patted my tense back, soothing me, and his pheromones weakened slightly, allowing me to breathe easier.
“Stop…”
“Okay, don’t be scared.”
His gentle whisper calmed me. I released my grip on him and lay back fully on the soft bed. He moved closer, our bodies aligning. The sensation below made me shiver, and he carefully kissed my face.
“I love you, Seo-yul.”
“Ah!”
He began to move slowly. The creaking of the mattress and the sounds of our bodies meeting filled the quiet room. As he moved more intensely, my feverish mind felt like it would burst.
Through my blurred vision, I saw him, fully aroused. I reached out to touch his cheek but blacked out. Darkness consumed me.
