5. To the Place Where Cold Moonlight Pours
The sudden decision to head to Zone 1 was carried out quietly. Since we hadn’t formally applied for a visit, Han Jae-hoon repeatedly reminded the butler that it had to be handled with the utmost secrecy.
If we followed the official procedures, not only would we have to disclose the purpose of our visit, but we would also be assigned escorts who would act as both guards and observers for the entire duration of our stay.
But since I had to fix my condition as soon as possible without letting anyone find out, an illegal visit was inevitable.
If things went wrong, we would have to bear the risk of war, but Han Jae-hoon didn’t seem to have the luxury of worrying about that. The only thing on his mind was meeting the doctor named Xenia in Zone 1 and curing me.
‘Tomorrow.’
After packing lightly, I realized that we would be leaving for Zone 1 the very next day. The plan was to return as quickly as possible, but depending on how the treatment progressed, I might have to stay there for a long time. That’s why a few attendants would be accompanying me.
Any additional belongings could be sent later. For now, I simply packed a single bag full of clothes. It really felt like I was going on a trip. Despite the seriousness of the situation, I found myself chuckling.
At first, I had been overwhelmed and distressed, but after two days, I had grown numb to it. The biggest reason was probably that it still didn’t feel real—I still couldn’t grasp the fact that I had manifested as an Omega.
“I don’t really see it.”
I stood in front of the mirror, turning this way and that, but I couldn’t spot any noticeable changes. I looked exactly the same as before—a completely ordinary person. Nothing about me had changed.
Even the fever that had been tormenting me had vanished without a trace, making it even harder to believe. Maybe the doctor had made a misdiagnosis? Without realizing it, I kept denying the reality that I had become an Omega.
“Seo-yul hyung.”
Vin entered without knocking and called my name. I turned my gaze from my reflection in the mirror to him.
He looked utterly exhausted, his face deathly pale. He had clearly been through a lot.
“Have you been crying?”
The skin around his eyes was red and raw, yet he shook his head, insisting he hadn’t cried.
I let out a deep sigh at the obvious lie, and only then did he confess that he had.
“Why were you crying?”
I approached Vin and gently rubbed the inflamed skin around his eyes as I asked.
He lowered his head slightly and mumbled something under his breath, but his voice was so hoarse that I couldn’t make out the words.
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
“…go.”
“Hm?”
“Seo-yul hyung said he’s leaving me behind and going away.”
Vin wasn’t included among the attendants who would be traveling to Zone 1 with us. Of course, he protested, insisting that he didn’t want to be separated from me even for a moment, but it was an unavoidable decision.
Vin was a child who had been “disposed of” by the Zone 1 leader. If that man found out that the kid he had thrown away like garbage had returned alive and well, would he really let it slide?
If we got caught, this time, Vin wouldn’t just be “cleaned up” by being sent off as someone else’s “gift.” The Zone 1 leader might decide to personally take care of him himself.
In this world, such things weren’t shocking. That’s why I had gone to Han Jae-hoon first and suggested that Vin be excluded from this trip.
At first, Han Jae-hoon questioned my decision, but he soon understood. No matter where we went, Vin’s fiery red hair always drew attention. Right now, when secrecy was crucial, I couldn’t afford to have someone so noticeable with me.
“Can’t I come with you too?”
Vin gently grabbed my hand as he spoke. His tearful red eyes pleaded with me to take him along, silently confessing that he didn’t want to be apart from me, not even for a second.
I felt my resolve waver. I had always been weak when it came to Vin. And he knew that—maybe that was why he was acting like this on purpose.
Despite his appearance, he was a sharp kid. Was it because he was a Shining? Se-yul’s words from long ago echoed in my mind.
I clenched my eyes shut and reluctantly pushed Vin’s hand away. His already pale face became even more bloodless at my rejection.
He staggered backward, looking as if he might collapse at any moment. I instinctively moved to catch him but managed to hold myself back.
This time, I had no choice. It was the only way to protect him.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t take you with me this time.”
My voice was gentle but firm. Vin’s eyes wavered with shock, his pupils shaking uncontrollably. My chest ached at the sight of tears rolling down his white cheeks.
“You don’t even know when you’ll be back.”
“I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
I couldn’t give him a definite answer—because even I didn’t know. But I truly wanted to return as soon as possible. That was my plan.
However, that wasn’t enough for Vin.
He glared at me resentfully before stepping forward again. When I lifted my head to meet his gaze, his now-grown hands firmly gripped my shoulders.
“When exactly is ‘as soon as possible’?” His voice trembled with anger. “What if you can’t come back at all? Then what am I supposed to do? Why should I stay in this place without you, Seo-yul hyung? Why are you leaving me behind? You said we’d always be together. You promised you wouldn’t abandon me.”
Vin’s accusations poured out like rapid fire. Even when I tried to tell him I wasn’t abandoning him, he refused to listen. He started insisting that no matter what, I couldn’t leave him behind.
“Take me with you. I don’t want to stay here without you, Seo-yul hyung.”
“No, you know where I’m going.”
“It’s been so long—those people don’t even remember me. Back then, they didn’t even care whether I was alive or dead. So just take me with you.”
“Vin, please….”
At my desperate plea, Vin finally fell silent. But before his brimming tears could spill over, he turned his back on me.
Without another word, he walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him with a loud bang. My heart dropped along with the sound.
“Haa—.”
My legs gave out, and I collapsed onto the floor. Hugging my knees, I buried my face against them.
A sigh rose from deep within me, but no matter how much I let it out, it wouldn’t stop.
I wanted to take him with me if I could. But the circumstances wouldn’t allow it, and more than that, I couldn’t put Vin in danger because of me.
‘I have to make sure I return as soon as possible.’
Right now, the only thing I could do was hope that the treatment would be completed quickly so I could return to Zone 5 as soon as possible. Otherwise, this trip would be a complete waste. Of course, that would be tough on Han Jae-hoon.
I should ask the butler to keep a closer eye on Vin. Even if things got difficult, as long as the butler was there to comfort him, Vin would be able to hold out.
“I don’t want to go.”
The honest words I muttered quickly dissipated into the air. Lifting my face from where it was buried between my knees, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The same unchanging, ordinary me stared back with a gloomy expression.
***
Bang! A loud slam echoed through the hallway.
Vin leaned against the closed door, wiping away the tears streaming down his cheeks. His inflamed, reddened eyes stung, but it was nothing compared to the suffocating tightness in his chest.
There was something people usually said at moments like this, but he couldn’t remember it. After being scolded by Seo-yul for repeating the crude words the attendants had muttered under their breath, he had erased them from his mind, thinking he would never have a reason to use them.
‘I should’ve kept a few in mind.’
Biting his lip, he regretted it, but nothing came to him. How was he supposed to deal with this boiling frustration and tangled emotions? Would screaming at the top of his lungs make it better? But his throat felt clogged, leaving him mute.
He had already known that Seo-yul was leaving for Zone 1. But the fact that he wasn’t among the attendants accompanying him—that was a shock.
He had assumed, without a doubt, that they would go together. But that had been his own delusion.
Angry, Vin stormed straight to the butler and demanded an explanation. Why had he been excluded from the attendants going with Seo-yul?
The butler, listening calmly to his protests, gave him a simple answer—it was all Seo-yul’s decision.
He didn’t want to believe it, but deep down, he had a feeling he knew why Seo-yul had made that choice. Still, he stubbornly pushed the thought away.
It didn’t matter where—Zone 1 or anywhere else—if Seo-yul was going, he had to go too.
Vin immediately headed for Seo-yul’s room.
Before opening the door, he deliberately rubbed his eyes hard to make them redder. If he wanted to change Seo-yul’s decision, it would be easier to do so by looking as miserable as possible rather than acting fine.
Seo-yul was weak when it came to those who seemed fragile and pitiful.
Vin knew that, which was why he deliberately tried to cry. But it wasn’t easy—he had never known how to cry.
People said tears came from sadness, but Vin couldn’t understand that emotion.
So he pinched and hit his skin, waiting for the physical pain to force out the tears.
With all his preparations in place, he had gone to Seo-yul, but unexpectedly, Seo-yul had been firm.
How many times had he been rejected? The repeated blows left him so shaken that his vision blurred.
‘What do I do now?’
Vin lightly knocked his forehead against the door. The sound was loud enough for Seo-yul to notice that he was still lingering outside.
He didn’t want to stay here, waiting for Seo-yul to return someday.
Seo-yul had promised they would always be together. He was the one who had taught Vin that a promise made with a pinky swear had to be kept.
“…Liar.”
He desperately wished that Seo-yul, beyond the door, had heard those words.
Clenching his eyes shut, he swallowed the ache still rising in his chest.
