After the unexpected visit from an unwelcome guest, I found myself spending more time in the bedroom. I had stepped into the garden a few times, unable to bear the suffocating confinement, but the fear of running into that guest again always drove me back inside before long.
Being in this room calmed me. Perhaps it was because of his pheromones, still lingering in the air. I sat here, resenting him for bringing me to this place, hating him… but now, I wasn’t even sure anymore.
No one could tell me when he would return. The guards, Choi Yeo-min—they all gave the same answer: he would come when his work was done. And so, more days passed without him. In that time, the pheromones that had once filled the room had faded significantly.
Maybe this was my chance to escape. But strangely enough, I felt no motivation to do so. Was it because I hadn’t been eating properly? Or was it the endless daylight that drained me of all energy? Time here felt like it had stopped moving.
“Seo-yul-nim.”
At the sound of my name, my eyes refocused. Slowly turning my head, I saw Choi Yeo-min, who had risen from his chair and now stood before me.
“Do you need anything?”
I had heard that question at least ten times today. No, wait—without night, the concept of “today” was meaningless here. I gave a faint smile, about to respond with my usual answer, but then a thought occurred to me.
“Then… get me some cigarettes.”
“Cigarettes?”
Choi Yeo-min’s eyes widened in surprise, as if it was the last thing he had expected me to ask for. I gave a firm nod. It wasn’t a good habit, smoking whenever I felt down, but right now, I needed it more than ever.
Besides, I hadn’t even seen a cigarette since coming to District 1. Not that I could have gotten my hands on one anyway, given that I was trapped here. And when I had brought it up before, he had shut me down without hesitation, saying someone with my weak constitution had no business smoking.
“Uh… from what I heard, Seo-yul-nim, your health isn’t in the best condition—”
“Just one. That’s all I ask.”
I stepped down from the windowsill and, for the first time, grabbed Choi Yeo-min’s hand. Startled by my unusually assertive response, he fidgeted anxiously.
Faced with my relentless desperation, he eventually sighed and told me to wait. As he gently pulled his hand away, I pressed my palms together in a silent plea, watching him as he left the room.
When Choi Yeo-min returned, a cigarette case was in his hand. The moment I saw the silver case, carefully holding the cigarettes within, I nearly let out a cry of joy.
“Thank you.”
I reached out to take the whole case, but his hand stopped me. Instead, he pulled out a single cigarette from the neatly packed row and handed it to me.
“Just one.”
It was a little disappointing, but for now, even just this was enough. I accepted the cigarette with a bright smile. Settling onto the windowsill, I struck a match against the flint, igniting a small flame. Bringing the tip of the cigarette into the fire, I took a deep drag through the filter.
I can finally breathe.
The gloom that had been weighing me down vanished in an instant. It almost made me wonder if all my exhaustion and depression had just been withdrawal symptoms. As if one drag could make the world feel brighter. That couldn’t be true… and yet.
“If Vincent-nim finds out, he’ll be furious.”
“It’s just one cigarette. How would he know?”
As long as he didn’t come back today, there was no way the scent would linger enough to give me away. I reassured the anxious Choi Yeo-min and continued savoring my long-awaited smoke.
“Cigarettes aren’t good for you.”
“I know.”
“Then you shouldn’t—”
“I smoke because I need to breathe.”
Cutting him off, I stubbed out the short remainder of my cigarette. I shot him a look filled with longing, but Choi Yeo-min firmly hid the cigarette case away. A shame.
“Do you smoke, Yeo-min?”
“…I quit.”
He averted his gaze as he spoke, and I had a feeling the cigarettes had belonged to him. And yet, he was here lecturing me about my health. He should worry about himself first.
Shaking off my lingering regret, I climbed down from the windowsill and moved to the table. I tapped the empty seat in front of me, naturally drawing Choi Yeo-min’s attention to it.
“Sit.”
“Here?”
“I’m just bored. Let’s talk for a bit.”
He gave me a confused look at my sudden suggestion, but quickly adjusted his expression. Sitting cautiously across from me, he wasted no time in making his stance clear.
“Just so you know, I’m not giving you another cigarette.”
“I’m not asking for one.”
“Good.”
Relieved, Choi Yeo-min finally withdrew his hand from the pocket where he had hidden the cigarette case, flashing a bright smile. Until now, I hadn’t really paid attention, but seeing him up close, he was actually quite handsome.
Then again, the face I’d been forced to look at every day was so far removed from human standards that it was no wonder I hadn’t noticed before. As much as I hated to admit it, I had a weakness for pretty things.
No, snap out of it.
Yeo-min probably thought I had asked for a conversation out of nowhere, but I had a plan. If he was soft enough to get me cigarettes just because I begged, maybe—just maybe—he’d be willing to tell me about what was happening outside.
I only needed one thing. If I could just find out whether Se-yul was alive or not, that would be enough.
“I—”
“Seo-yul-nim, you came from District 5, right?”
Just as I was about to speak, Choi Yeo-min’s question cut me off. I hesitated for a moment before easing my tense posture. Right. Jumping straight into the main topic wasn’t the best idea. It would be better to let the conversation flow naturally before bringing it up.
“Yeah. Aren’t you from District 5 too?”
“I was born there, but I grew up in District 3.”
“District 3?”
“Yeah, my parents relocated…”
Even now, movement between districts was difficult, but in the past, it had been even more so. I remembered hearing from the butler that District 5, in particular, faced discrimination not only from District 1 but from other districts as well.
Trailing off, Choi Yeo-min’s expression darkened, likely recalling difficult memories. I cautiously lifted a hand and patted his shoulder. His eyes wavered in surprise at the unexpected gesture of comfort.
“Was it tough for you?”
“Well… I was just a kid.”
Forcing a bright smile, he gently pushed my hand away. I hesitated for a moment at the subtle distance he maintained but soon resumed the conversation.
“So, you grew up in District 3 and then moved here to District 1?”
“Yeah. I bounced around a lot looking for work and finally landed something here.”
“Did you ever think about going back to District 5?”
“Well, yeah. I heard it’s developed a lot in recent years.”
Just as I had intended, the conversation naturally shifted toward District 5. As if reminiscing about fond memories, Choi Yeo-min began chatting animatedly about the district he once knew. I played along, nodding at the right moments, waiting for the right time to bring up Se-yul.
“I was really surprised when I first saw you, Seo-yul-nim. I was the only one from District 5 here.”
“Really?”
“Well, now there’s you.”
He grinned, seemingly pleased to have found someone from the same district. I pulled my hands apart, realizing I’d been anxiously pressing my thumbs together. Finally, I asked the question I had been preparing.
“Can you do me one more favor?”
“As long as it’s not asking for another cigarette.”
Maybe it was the lighthearted mood, but he seemed to think I was joking. “What is it?” he asked. That was my cue.
“I want to know what happened to my younger brother.”
“Your younger brother?”
“Yeah. Before I came here, he was badly injured. I don’t even know if he survived….”
The moment I spoke about Se-yul, all the emotions I had been suppressing surged to the surface. The desperate, shallow breaths, the vivid memory of blood soaking into green grass—it was all so clear, yet I still couldn’t let go of hope.
I relaxed my trembling lips and steadied my breathing. Choi Yeo-min, his eyes full of concern, stepped closer and gently patted my back before asking cautiously,
“What’s his name?”
“…The one I mentioned before. Han Se-yul.”
“!!!”
The moment I said his name, the hand on my back froze.
I wiped at the heat stinging my eyes and lifted my gaze. When our eyes met, Choi Yeo-min quickly masked his expression with a forced smile, but I had already seen it.
For just a split second, he had visibly faltered.
He had claimed not to know Se-yul, yet his eyes betrayed him. Unlike his smooth words, his gaze couldn’t lie.
“Is it enough to just find out your brother’s whereabouts?”
Choi Yeo-min smiled warmly, his voice as friendly as ever. But I caught the slight tremor in his carefully composed face.
I pretended not to notice. Instead, I took his hand and squeezed it gently.
“Thank you.”
