He slowly hit the floor with his foot as if frustrated. In-sae was wearing spring/autumn uniforms in the weather that was starting to cool down.
“I’ll let the avoiding slide, but don’t keep lying. It won’t work.”
“I’ll be honest with you, it didn’t mean much. It’s something you can just let pass.”
“I’ll think about that later. Are you scared of that bookshelf? Did you need to be that surprised while organizing books?”
“I hit my head on that bookshelf before.”
“So that’s why you don’t have memories from middle school?”
As I kept making excuses, In-sae also came out with a ‘let’s try this’ approach. We repeated similar conversations several times.
I looked at his calm expression and burst into an empty laugh. I’m anxious about how long I can keep making excuses.
“You know really well. I kept remembering that time so that bookshelf was so scary.”
“Shi-dan, I told you to stop hiding things.”
“Right, it’s an excuse. I hope you get a job as a detective. I’ll even send a big flower wreath to your office.”
I stopped the meaningless argument and cleanly admitted it. I had tried all kinds of excuses but it wasn’t enough. Rather, I just wasted time. In-sae asked in succession.
“Why are you scared of cicada sounds? I’ve been curious about that for a while. Bookshelf, cicadas, silence. What connection do these three have that makes you react like that?”
“There’s no connection. The reasons why I react that way are completely different.”
I lied shamelessly. He must have really investigated a lot. I couldn’t even make more excuses, but In-sae seemed to still have things left to say. It was scary.
“From what I heard from other people, it seems like you changed as a person compared to middle school.”
In-sae said leisurely. In contrast to him, I became impatient. That’s right, the person changed. I tried hard not to show at all that I was being impatient or flustered. In-sae nodded his head toward me.
“Who are you?”
In-sae’s voice felt heavy. He was looking straight at me. I asked with a stiff expression, making continuous efforts not to waver.
“What do you mean the person changed? I said tastes in food change frequently.”
“They said you used to sincerely like the Five Great Kings but now you’re acting. They said up until the closing ceremony you remembered everything perfectly, even what you did in elementary school.”
“Me? I don’t know where to start correcting this. Who on earth said that?”
I cried out in disbelief. I kept feeling dizzy and flustered. Even though if you looked closely, everything In-sae said was unreasonable.
“You remember the entrance ceremony day here well. Why don’t you know only what happened before that?”
In-sae asked as if cornering me.
“Are you going to keep avoiding it like that?”
In-sae said, having noticed me backing away before I knew it. I wanted to refute that it was all wrong. But I couldn’t think of any more excuses. His expression was too hardened to make up just any excuse.
“So, where?”
In-sae asked again. I had been scared of this situation until just a moment ago, but suddenly I became very irritated. I felt like I was gradually suffocating from tension. Before I could think of anything, my mouth moved first.
“Where I originally was.”
I said in a voice close to a breath. Only after speaking did my breathing clear and the tension release. I ended up saying it. I had no more strength to make excuses. In-sae asked dryly.
“Where you originally were? Why are you saying that while looking at a book?”
I couldn’t easily answer this question. So I just chose silence. In-sae asked as if tossing it out.
“What is it exactly?”
In-sae clearly looked dumbfounded. I momentarily hesitated whether to answer truthfully. In-sae asked in a confused tone.
“Shi-dan, is it something to hesitate about that much?”
I still hesitated to answer. It seemed I couldn’t perfectly escape this situation by making another excuse.
Then there were only two methods. One was to honestly reveal the fact that I had possessed someone’s body. But how could I do that? I didn’t want to directly tell him that this is inside a novel. I was afraid of what reaction he’d show, how this gaze would change.
“……”
Silence continued. There was no other way. I had nothing to perfectly explain—not having memories from before high school, not the slips of the tongue. There should be an appropriate excuse but I couldn’t think of one.
I wondered whether to lie. In-sae made a sullen expression. I fell into confusion. I wanted to speak honestly here. I wanted to stop continuing to lie or make excuses.
‘Would he believe me if I suddenly said I came to a different world?’
It’s the most unbelievable thing I’ve said so far. I worried for a long time about whether In-sae would believe me, then ended up completely exhausted. I wanted to stop.
“I came here while shelving a book. Before that, I lived in a place completely different from here.”
I eventually opened my mouth and spoke. Of course, I wasn’t going to say I possessed someone in a novel. Even though I struggled to open my mouth, my hands trembled in fear, but I made continuous efforts not to run away. I stared at In-sae with anxiously trembling eyes.
“Ah, I see.”
In-sae answered blandly. He looked at me and asked.
“Do you have a cold coming on?”
“I know it’s an absurd story.”
I cried out in a stifled voice and avoided In-sae’s eyes. I couldn’t bear to meet his eyes. I said while dropping my gaze to the floor.
“Like you said, who would say they didn’t go back while looking at a book? I came to this place because I accidentally dropped that book while shelving it.”
I spoke in an unnatural tone. In-sae met my eyes then let go of his hand. I continued rambling on by myself.
“It was summer but suddenly the season had changed. I looked at the calendar and it said it was 3 days before the entrance ceremony.”
He seemed to be trying hard to distinguish whether I was speaking seriously. I continued speaking.
“How would I know what I did when I was in middle school? I don’t even know where Yeonseo Middle School is.”
I sighed and stepped back. In-sae looked just as confused as I was. I tried to say more, then gave up and said weakly.
“Just don’t believe it. It’s better not to believe it. Actually, it’s a joke.”
I went ahead first. My steps were slow but In-sae didn’t follow. I couldn’t lift my head from the embarrassment that suddenly rushed over me.
‘My friend suddenly tells a story about coming from another world……’
I feel like I did something terrible to In-sae. Even though I added that it was actually a joke, I had already talked too much before that. Who would believe that? I should have laughed while making a big fuss or something.
It feels refreshing to have said it. I still couldn’t say the most important thing, and I don’t know if In-sae will believe what I said, but. I tried to revive my sinking mood.
After that, I avoided In-sae. From In-sae’s perspective, what I said must have been quite strange, and it was embarrassing to face him.
And I kept thinking that I was hiding the most important part. This is inside a novel and you guys were characters—it’s a cruel thing to say.
Looking at how the kids didn’t particularly say anything, it seemed In-sae wasn’t going around asking more about me.
I was lying on my desk when I raised my head at the teacher’s voice. The teacher brought over a piece of paper and said.
“Oh right, we’re changing seats. Look at this and everyone find your seat.”
The kids murmured. Last time they said we’d change seats but there was no news for a long while. So everyone thought we weren’t changing after all, but it was just delayed.
Hee-ae, who came back after checking the seats, made a disappointed expression.
“Your seat became really far from mine. But it’s not just you.”
I don’t know what he means by it’s not just him. I went forward and checked the seats. My seat was far away from In-sae, Cho-yeon, and Hee-ae.
I checked several times whether the seat printed on the paper was correct. It was a puzzling result. It was almost the first time I wasn’t placed with any of the three. That tiresome possessor buff must be ending now.
Hee-ae said in a voice full of regret.
“Whenever we did this kind of thing, we were always together. I guess we were just lucky until now.”
“I know. I thought I’d be with at least one of you guys too.”
I had even tried predicting beforehand but nothing was right. I grumbled and organized my desk. Hee-ae said with a slightly reddened face.
“Even if our seats are far, we can still talk. I’ll come to you every break time.”
“Thanks.”
I greeted Hee-ae and smiled brightly. Hee-ae looked around at others then asked in a whisper.
“But why have you been avoiding Kim In-sae lately?”
“We didn’t fight so you don’t need to worry.”
I said ahead of time. Hee-ae, who had been making a worried expression, opened his eyes wide. He looked relieved at the words that we didn’t fight.
The kids moved busily to change their seats. Hee-ae checked whether the bottom of his desk was completely empty and said.
“Since we couldn’t sit close this time, you have to hang out with me more often.”
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
I leaned slightly against Hee-ae.
***
I came to school too early. I thought there would be no one in the classroom but Cho-yeon was there. I put down my bag and approached him.
“Why did you come so early?”
“I looked at the time wrong.”
Cho-yeon answered in a tone full of irritation. I looked at Cho-yeon pitifully. Then I said in passing.
“You know I’ve been avoiding In-sae lately. Should I tell you why?”
“What are you asking for? Just tell me.”
Cho-yeon answered bluntly.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
