#64
The crude language, which emerged so suddenly and unexpectedly, left me completely dumbfounded. The question—had I masturbated in the car?—was baffling. I wondered if I’d misheard, but Saheon hyung’s eyes were fixed on my groin. A numb shock washed over me, as if I’d been hit on the back of the head.
“…M-m-me? What?”
Saheon hyung, realizing my bewilderment at his unexpected vulgarity, must have remembered his resolution from last night to only speak kindly and gently. He tried to explain more softly.
“Have you… masturbated in the car? Masturbation here means…”
“I-I-I didn’t, I didn’t…”
Fearing he might even explain the mechanics of masturbation, I quickly denied it, slightly closing my legs. Our eyes met. My face felt like it was flushing for a different reason, so I insisted even more forcefully.
“Really, really not!”
“Oh?”
Saheon hyung’s gaze was intense. I pressed my knees closer to the door. Narrowing his eyes, he continued in a nonchalant voice, as if commenting on the clear weather.
“I found what looked like used tissues while cleaning the car today.”
“Where?”
The sharp question slipped out involuntarily. Since I definitely hadn’t done it, and judging by his question, neither had he, the only conclusion was that some pervert had entered Saheon hyung’s car and masturbated. Saheon hyung slightly furrowed his brow, as if retracing his memory, and pointed to the gap between the driver’s and passenger’s seats.
“Here.”
My face, flushed with embarrassment, I looked where he pointed. It was clean now, but it was the kind of place where small bits of trash like gum wrappers or used tissues could easily end up.
Thinking of small bits of trash, a memory surfaced. It was when I’d driven Saheon hyung to work and then picked up Choi Hyun-oh to take him to school.
I remembered rummaging around in the car to give Choi Hyun-oh tissues, as he often got a runny nose in the cold. I must have thought I’d thrown it away, but apparently not.
I briefly considered whether the shape of the used tissue and the tissue Saheon hyung described were similar, but decided it was possible, depending on the person.
As I pondered with a serious expression, a small smile played on Saheon hyung’s lips. A chuckle escaped him, as if finding me cute, and his large hand rested on my crown.
“What are you thinking so hard about? You’re so cute.”
“It’s Hyun-oh’s.”
A slight pressure was applied to my hair. It wasn’t painful, because Saheon hyung, realizing he was holding my hair, quickly released his grip.
“…Choi Hyun-oh’s?”
“Yes.”
“He… why…”
Saheon hyung suddenly let out a breath he couldn’t contain. Having assumed he didn’t like Choi Hyun-oh, I realized I was wrong. He clearly disliked him.
“You drove him around?”
“…Before… I drove you to work… and then to school… since we were going the same way…”
Explaining to someone you like about someone they dislike is incredibly difficult. Saheon hyung’s imposing presence was overwhelming. His expressionless face, which could be quite intimidating, made me fidget nervously as I tried to explain, but the words wouldn’t come out right.
“I… I must have forgotten to clean up the… used tissue…”
As I stammered, my eyes wide with fear, Saheon hyung sighed deeply and muttered low and intensely.
“What were you blowing your nose with? Sexual desire?”
I lifted my head sharply. I finally understood his misunderstanding. I shook my head rapidly, showing him he was wrong.
“No! Nothing happened between Hyun-oh and me… it was just… just…”
“Just what? Just that he masturbated in my car?”
My lips were parched. I couldn’t understand how he could possibly misinterpret our relationship in that way.
Choi Hyun-oh was just a friend, but why was Saheon hyung so wary? If I could prove my unwavering devotion from childhood, would he stop saying such absurd things? I gnawed on my lower lip in anxiety and grabbed his wrist tightly.
“No, no. Hyun-oh… Hyun-oh said he wanted to blow his nose… I just forgot to clean it up…”
My eyebrows drooped involuntarily, a result of my desperation. Saheon hyung said nothing, but looked down at my hand gripping his. Feeling like he might shake me off, I looked up at him and added desperately,
“You know I only have you…”
Saheon hyung’s firm lips twitched, then softened. Even his attempt at a stern expression lacked the earlier intensity. He sighed and ruffled his hair with his free hand.
He turned his head completely towards the window. Thinking he was completely ignoring me, I tightened my grip on his wrist. But Saheon hyung unbuckled his seatbelt, slid his hand to the side of the seat, and pushed it all the way back.
The space between the seats widened, enough to seem spacious even for his tall frame and long legs. Fixing his gaze forward again, he instructed in a stiff voice.
“Come here.”
I understood he wanted me to sit on his lap. I didn’t understand why we needed to sit facing each other in the cramped car, but I unbuckled my seatbelt and obediently followed his instructions.
Since I’m also tall, moving to the other seat without putting weight on him was quite difficult. As I fumbled, grabbing his shoulder and awkwardly moving my legs, he helped me sit by holding my waist.
With two tall adult men sitting facing each other and embracing, even the seemingly spacious seats felt a little cramped. A faint scent of cologne lingered in his arms. I instinctively reached to hug his neck. But Saheon hyung firmly held my waist, preventing me.
“You took Choi Hyun-oh without telling me?”
“…Sorry.”
I apologized in a barely audible voice. Saheon hyung continued to scold me in a stern voice.
“You made me look like a pervert who likes other people’s used tissues. Happy?”
Saheon hyung always seemed like a pervert, but I wisely chose not to voice my thoughts. His drooping eyebrows remained stubbornly in a V-shape.
“Sorry…”
“I almost became the guy who masturbated after seeing Choi Hyun-oh’s used tissue, you know.”
His blunt statement, revealing his supposed perverse desires, made me furrow my brow slightly. But I, guilty of taking Choi Hyun-oh without destroying the evidence, could only offer another barely audible apology.
A rough breath, as if he was suppressing laughter, escaped Saheon hyung. I cautiously looked up to check his expression, but it remained almost entirely unchanged. He pressed his index finger against my furrowed brow, scolding me.
“Okay. Don’t get distracted.”
“Yes…”
“Especially not Choi Hyundol.”
“Hyun-oh…”
“Are you going to take other people in my car next time?”
“No…”
“Then give me a quick kiss.”
I only rolled my eyes slightly before looking at him, then hesitantly leaned in. I gave him a quick, almost stolen kiss, then looked at him again. His expression still hadn’t changed. Wondering if it had been too quick, I gave him another, this time a three-second kiss.
“You’re just getting better at acting cute. You think I’ll forgive you if you act cute.”
Saheon hyung pressed his index finger against my furrowed brow again. I never thought I’d hear the word “cute” at my age, and I protested.
“That’s not it.”
“If not that, then what? Are you naturally cute?”
My expression was one of utter disgust, but I didn’t feel that bad. It was more like a tingling sensation, like floating on a cloud.
Saheon hyung chuckled softly and leaned his head against the seat. Even in the dimly lit underground parking lot, his face was shadowed, especially in the corner.
Mesmerized, I carefully leaned my cheek against his chest. This time, there was no restraining hand. Feeling my rapidly beating heart, I snuggled into his warm embrace, and he hugged me tightly, almost suffocating me.
“You need to be punished.”
His whisper brushed against my ear. The sensual undertones in his low, sweet voice made my ears burn.
“Ah!”
Then, a slap, and a sharp sting on my buttocks. It wasn’t excruciating, but it was startling. My eyes widened, my cheeks flushed.
“I’m going to spank you, Lee Cheongmyeong.”
Despite the stern words, the corners of his mouth were curved into a playful smile. The dimples deepened near his eyes, adding to the mischievous feel.
I couldn’t hide my sulky expression. Suddenly, I wondered if it was okay to be doing this in the quiet weekend parking lot, where not a single car passed.
Noticing my distraction, he shifted his weight forward. My balance shifted backward instantly. It was only a slight lean back, but the seat made it feel like I was lying down more than I actually was.
“What’s with that expression? Complaining?”
“…No.”
I mumbled in a unconvincing voice. My face burned. I regretted not brazenly lying; it would have avoided this embarrassing situation. A low, sweet chuckle tickled my ears.
“It’s okay.”
Saheon hyung firmly grasped my stinging bottom, then gently rubbed it soothingly. A tingling pain spread slowly.
“We can just make a tissue that looks like you masturbated.”
I doubted my ears. Even with the heavily tinted car windows, the parking lot was accessible to anyone. I couldn’t understand his strange request, not in a bed, but in a car.
His hand, which had been around my waist, slowly moved lower. His touch on the belt buckle was secretive. The clearly sexual gesture made me tense up.
His hand easily undid the sturdy buckle. The sound of metal meeting metal was clear. I tightened my grip on his shoulders.
“Isn’t that right? I want to see Cheongmyeong masturbate. Do you do it facing forward or backward?”
The vulgarity in his sweet voice sent a thrill of excitement through me. Almost instinctively, I shook my head slightly. Saheon hyung chuckled softly and gave me a bird kiss. The heat rising within me made the air around us feel incredibly hot.
I looked at him, restless and unsure what to do. Saheon hyung gently stroked my waist with one hand, while the other reached for the console box between the driver’s and passenger’s seats.
With a click, the box opened. I glanced and gasped, seeing a tube of lotion similar to the one I used in bed, and small square packages. Saheon hyung let out a low chuckle.
“Can you do it?”
His voice still held a hint of laughter, but there was an irresistible allure to it. Saheon hyung let out a languid sigh.
I never imagined that the car I always rode in comfortably would have lotion and condoms. I felt a numb shock. He smiled softly and asked,
“Do you know how to put on a condom?”
“…Yes.”
Theoretically, yes. A habitual, slightly choked reply escaped me. Another languid chuckle.
He kept his eyes on me as he picked up a square condom with his fingertips. I swallowed hard, my Adam’s apple bobbing noticeably. His soft touch landed on my palm. The hard, slightly sharp edges of the square packaging pricked my skin.
“Should I give you some lubricant?”
It was a listless question. Instead of answering, I lowered my head slightly, checking the object in my hand. It was a purple-packaged condom.
Under the logo of a condom brand I recognized, there was a word I didn’t know. My mouth opened and closed several times in bewilderment, and I cautiously asked in a barely audible voice.
“…Hyung, what is a dolgi-hyung…?”
