“There’s nothing that can be done.”
Was it because the wind was too strong? Without even a moment’s hesitation, Cha Jae-woo shook his head. His face was completely indifferent, as if he didn’t care what happened to Kim Sol—or anyone else, for that matter.
“……At the very least, you could try to stop it.”
I had never thought of Cha Jae-woo as someone this cold. At the very least, he was someone who would enter a gate alongside an Esper, knowing that they couldn’t endure it alone. He would help them clear the gate safely.
When I first found out that he had helped Jung Hyun-soo, and when I heard that stepping into sudden gates was a regular occurrence for him, I believed that Cha Jae-woo didn’t want needless sacrifices. He only looked cold on the outside, but deep down, he wasn’t like that—or so I had thought.
But now, Cha Jae-woo’s attitude was enough to shatter the image I had of him.
“I agree that Jo Gyeong-hoon and Jang Gijun should be properly punished. And if we can fix the Esper Association, which has been long corrupted by injustice, we should. That way… Espers and Guides will be safer….That’s what you want too, isn’t it?”
I tried my best to speak calmly, but I wasn’t sure if I managed it. Honestly, I couldn’t say it with confidence—because the thought that maybe Cha Jae-woo didn’t actually want that kept creeping up on me.
“You always see people the way you want to see them.”
Why was it that these uneasy thoughts were always right?
As I nervously fidgeted with my fingers, hoping desperately that I was wrong, Cha Jae-woo’s voice—tinged with a sigh—fell upon me. A voice that so firmly, so definitively told me that I had been completely mistaken.
“…….”
Then what was it that he wanted? I opened my mouth to ask—but the words wouldn’t come out. I was afraid. Afraid that if I heard his answer, I would be disappointed in him. And I hated that. I hated it for reasons I couldn’t even put into words.
“……What is it?”
But I couldn’t swallow my question back down. When I saw Cha Jae-woo’s brow knit in annoyance at my words, my heart pounded even faster.
Even if I didn’t want to hear it, I felt I had to. Even if it only ended up making me feel disappointed in him.
“So what is it that you want, Cha Jae-woo?”
Even if it meant I’d end up hating the part of me that liked him.
“Didn’t I already say it earlier? I’m going to drag them down to the bottom and kill them.”
And wasn’t that exactly why I needed to know?
“And the reason?”
Why he was doing all of this?
Whether it was something I could understand—or something I couldn’t.
I believed that Cha Jae-woo was a good person. Even now, I wanted to believe it. At least the Cha Jae-woo who had saved Jung Hyun-soo had undeniably been a good person. That’s why I had so easily believed that he stood on the side of the weak. That he was a good man. Even if he acted a little cold, deep down, he helped those who were powerless.
“Do I need a reason?”
“Yes, you do.”
The moment the words left his lips, I nodded without hesitation.
“Revenge.”
But Cha Jae-woo’s answer was not what I had hoped for. Truthfully, I had somewhat expected it. Yet hearing that low voice pierce through the air made my whole body freeze.
“Just revenge. That’s all.”
“…….”
“Well, thanks to that, the injustice you were talking about will disappear, and things might get a little safer.”
“…….”
“But I don’t care about any of that. I don’t give a damn what happens to Kim Sol. Or to you, either.”
The tone he spoke in was no longer the subtly kind one I had grown used to. Instead, it was harsh, commanding, and cold. As if all the warmth he had shown until now had been a complete lie, Cha Jae-woo spoke to me like he was issuing an order.
“Don’t get involved. No matter what happens to anyone.”
“It’s not that kind of problem. People’s lives are at stake, how could you…?”
I immediately shook my head and protested, but I couldn’t finish my sentence. The look on Cha Jae-woo’s face as he stared down at me said everything—he wasn’t going to listen.
Cha Jae-woo didn’t care about anything. No matter what Jo Gyeong-hoon did to try to stop him, he wouldn’t even blink.
“Isn’t it enough if you’re safe?”
Cha Jae-woo asked, aiming his question at me as I stood speechless. Was he expecting me to say yes? The sheer indifference in his voice made my whole body turn cold.
“Lim Haeyul.”
As he called my name, Cha Jae-woo took a step closer. At the same time, I instinctively stepped back. My heart was racing so fast that for a moment, my mind went blank. But I quickly shook it off and looked straight at him.
“No.”
Was it enough if only I stayed safe? What a sick joke. If I had ever thought that way, I never would have signed the contract to become Cha Jae-woo’s dedicated Guide in the first place.
I didn’t become Cha Jae-woo’s personal Guide just for the money. I had been deceived by Jang Gijun’s words, yes, but I had also pitied Cha Jae-woo. I had wanted to help him. A pitiful Esper who had lived for eighteen years without a Guide, who might be killed before his Berserk hit its peak.
I had always been that way—Even when I had nothing, I couldn’t help but pity others and try to help them. I never stopped to think about what that left me with afterward.
But now, I understood one thing for certain. Because of me, innocent people were going to die. I should have never pitied Cha Jae-woo.
“Ha…”
A hollow laugh slipped out. I widened the distance between us, lowering my gaze. I couldn’t bear to look at him. No—I didn’t want to look at him.
“You disgust me.”
The words rasped from my throat, my voice raw and strained. My vision blurred as tears threatened to fall, so I dropped my head and stepped further back. Every instinct screamed to put as much distance as possible between us.
“I can’t believe I liked someone like you.”
It felt like being stabbed with a thousand needles. How could I have ever liked Cha Jae-woo? That kind of person—how?
Even if I hadn’t known what he was truly like back then, the very fact that I had liked him filled me with overwhelming guilt.
“Revenge…?”
I didn’t care what kind of face Cha Jae-woo was making. I didn’t care whether he listened to me or not. I laughed bitterly and muttered on, as if mocking the whole situation.
“Who’s avenging who?”
“…….”
“Ha… what revenge? Revenge for what?”
The bitter laughter slowly faded from my lips. All the strength drained from my mouth as I lifted my head.
Cha Jae-woo was staring at me with a blank expression, unreadable. But I no longer wanted to understand what he was thinking.
“I suddenly got curious.”
No—To be exact, I wasn’t thinking about anything at all anymore. I just blurted out whatever came to mind without a filter. Even if it pissed Cha Jae-woo off, even if it ended up hurting me, I didn’t care anymore.
“You said it was revenge, right?”
Maybe, deep down, I even wanted him to hurt me. If he did, maybe I could finally crush the faint hopes I still clung to, and turn my heart away completely, disappointed to the core.
But unfortunately, even now—Even at this very moment—My heart was still screaming that it wanted to believe in Cha Jae-woo.
“Who are you avenging? What did Jang Gijun and Jo Gyeong-hoon do? Was it hiding your Guide? That’s what you’re so angry about?”
My lips twisted into a crooked smile, and hollow laughter spilled out again and again. Cha Jae-woo said something, but the high-pitched ringing in my ears drowned it out. Not that I wanted to hear it anyway.
“Or wait—Did they kill your parents?”
For a fleeting second, Cha Jae-woo’s face hardened, turning ice-cold— Then, hah, a hollow laugh broke from his lips.
I shook my head and kept laughing bitterly.
Cha Jae-woo had killed his own parents. I had assumed it was an accident. But what if it wasn’t?
If Jang Gijun and Jo Gyeong-hoon had somehow been the reason Cha Jae-woo ended up killing his parents, then sure, I could understand why he’d hold a grudge against them.
But understanding the grudge was where it ended. The revenge—the hatred—should have been directed at them and only them. Creating new victims, repeating the same tragedy, would be unforgivable.
“Is that really it? They killed your parents, and now you’re going to kill others in the name of revenge?”
How pathetically contradictory. I couldn’t stop laughing. Even though my face was stiff and cold, I couldn’t stop.
And I didn’t want to face Cha Jae-woo’s expression—the face of a man who didn’t deny a single word I said.
“Ha… Lim Haeyul.”
But even so, I stared him down. Just this once, I wanted him to know that he was wrong. Even if it was the only thing I could give him.
His pitch-black eyes locked onto mine. I didn’t look away.
Cha Jae-woo slowly parted his lips.
“Forget it all.”
The moment his voice reached my ears, the ringing that had plagued me surged to a peak—and everything spun violently.
My vision blurred uncontrollably, and before I knew it, my world turned foggy and faint.
I couldn’t muster a single reply to Cha Jae-woo’s words.
