67.
#Appearance and Reality
Dawoon, who had taken the phone at some point after waking up, checked the caller ID on the screen. Then, he quietly took a breath and put it to his ear.
“It’s me. … No. I’ll come. You don’t need to pick me up. I’ll come on my own.”
After ending the brief call, he turned to Ui-hyeon. Seeing Ui-hyeon’s face contort, he smiled weakly in contrast.
“Don’t confront Hayun hyung because of me.”
He didn’t add anything else. Leaving just those words, Dawoon patted Ui-hyeon’s shoulder and left the room.
Is it really okay to let him go like this? Don’t you know something will happen again when he goes back?
Ui-hyeon hurriedly followed Dawoon out. By then, Dawoon had already finished thanking Ui-hyeon’s parents for dinner and was putting on his shoes.
“I’ll see him off and come back.”
After putting on his shoes and stepping out of the entrance, he found Dawoon waiting for the elevator.
“Don’t come out. I can go alone.”
“I didn’t come out because I thought you’d get lost.”
He answered half-heartedly and stood next to him. Thinking that talking in the corridor might be heard inside the house, he kept quiet until they got into the elevator, then immediately grabbed Dawoon’s arm.
“Are you really going to be okay?”
“…”
Jeong Dawoon wasn’t good at lying. He chose to keep his mouth shut rather than lie. That’s why his silence felt even heavier.
“Don’t you have any money saved up? You know, like stocks and stuff. Can’t you use that to live independently? If you’re worried about Haram, you can take him with you.”
Even as he said it, he felt like he was talking nonsense. Realistically, it was almost impossible for Dawoon to take care of a young child alone.
“No, honestly, it’s not like something will happen to Haram if you leave him behind. I heard you have several tutors teaching Haram at your house. As for Haram missing you, won’t he adapt after some time passes?”
No matter how he thought about it, it seemed right to prioritize Jeong Dawoon himself over Haram at this point.
“I don’t even know if I have stocks or anything like that. I don’t manage them.”
As he had been a minor until recently, it seemed that Hayun, as his guardian, had control over everything.
“I’ve never paid attention to things like separate bank accounts. I’ve just been using the card Hayun hyung gave me.”
“Ah…”
Ui-hyeon had seen that unlimited card a few times. Dawoon had never shown off or overspent, but Ui-hyeon had always envied him, asking if it really had no limit. Looking at it now, it wasn’t something to envy. Jeong Dawoon was completely under Jeong Hayun’s control in every aspect. Given the situation, it had become impossible for him to become independent from Hayun.
“I guess I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Dawoon made a bitter expression.
“Just forget everything you heard today.”
Those words felt like a blow to the back of Ui-hyeon’s head. Jeong Dawoon was drawing a line with him, telling him to stand outside of it.
“Hey! How can I pretend I didn’t hear something I already know!”
Feeling both hurt and worried about Dawoon, he snapped.
“I didn’t tell you to worry about me. It’s just that earlier…”
Dawoon trailed off, lowering his gaze to the floor. In that brief moment, numerous emotions flashed across his face.
“It felt too hard to keep hiding it from you anymore. That’s all.”
He meant that he had spoken because Ui-hyeon had already noticed the marks on his neck. If he hadn’t noticed, Dawoon probably would never have said anything first.
“I get it. I understand, but I can’t pretend I didn’t hear it.”
Ui-hyeon answered, raising both hands.
“I won’t interfere. I won’t confront Hayun hyung either.”
At his response, Dawoon seemed relieved and smiled faintly.
“But if anything happens in the future, tell me. I might not be able to do anything about it, but still…”
As he spoke, he felt something welling up inside him again, but seeing Dawoon trying to remain calm, he thought that interfering too much might make him uncomfortable.
“It’s better to at least talk about it than to keep it all to yourself, right? I’ll just listen. Really, I’ll shut up and just listen.”
At least it would be better than Jeong Dawoon suffering alone. Even if he couldn’t do anything, just talking about it might reduce some stress.
“Okay.”
Dawoon nodded obediently. As the elevator arrived at the first floor, he waved goodbye, telling Ui-hyeon not to come out any further. Watching Dawoon’s retreating back, Ui-hyeon couldn’t shake off his uneasiness.
He probably won’t say anything. Even if something worse happens, Jeong Dawoon will never come to him first to confide.
For some reason, he felt certain about this.
***
Midterm exams started. Being the first exam since entering university, there was an undercurrent of tension. Although he had been diligent in organizing his lecture notes, the exam style was completely different from high school, leaving him feeling somewhat unprepared no matter how much he studied.
Some subjects required reference materials beyond the textbooks used in lectures. Unfortunately, the professor had mentioned this when Dawoon was absent, so he found out late and visited the university library to find the materials.
Luckily, when he searched, the book he was looking for was still available. After confirming the book number, he went to the shelf where it should be. Carefully scanning the shelf while checking the numbers with his finger, he couldn’t find the book where it should have been. Had someone else taken it in the meantime? Considering whether to contact Na-eun to ask if he couldn’t find it, he checked other shelves just in case.
As expected, the book was shelved in the wrong place, out of numerical order, as if someone had taken it out to read and carelessly put it back. Relieved to find it, he reached out to pull the book when another hand reached for it simultaneously.
“Oh?”
Turning around, he saw it was Choi Yu-na. Seemingly surprised to meet him here, she inadvertently made a sound before realizing they were in a library and quickly covered her mouth with one hand.
Dawoon just bowed his head slightly towards her. He had been skipping the broadcasting club without notice to avoid running into her, but to meet her here of all places. Though it was probably a coincidence, at this point, he couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t intentional.
“Let’s talk for a moment.”
She whispered softly and pointed towards the reading room exit with her finger. Unable to openly ignore her, he silently followed her out.
Choi Yu-na went to the vending machine in the hallway and asked what he’d like to drink. Dawoon shook his head, saying he was fine. She didn’t insist. After getting just a canned coffee for herself, she leaned against the railing overlooking the first floor.
“I heard you were sick and couldn’t come to school for a few days. Na-eun told me.”
It seemed Na-eun had covered for him well.
“You haven’t been coming to the broadcasting club since then. Is it because of me?”
Choi Yu-na asked directly, without beating around the bush. Dawoon didn’t give any answer. It wasn’t entirely because of her, but it was true that he had avoided it because he didn’t want to run into Choi Yu-na.
“Are you going to quit the broadcasting club?”
“…”
He was still considering it. Having gone through the trouble of taking a test to join, it felt like a waste, and thinking about employment after graduation, the broadcasting club activities would certainly be helpful. But if he maintained contact with her like this, his grandfather and Congressman Choi Min-guk would continue trying to match them up.
Well, the situation might have changed after Hayun caused a scene that day.
“I’m sorry about that day.”
Confused by the sudden apology, Choi Yu-na blinked at him before letting out a delayed “Ah.” She smiled faintly and shook her head.
“I don’t know why you’re apologizing. From what I saw, you seemed really flustered that day too.”
She said that he, like her, didn’t know what kind of gathering it was when he came.
“My brother… behaved rudely.”
As he clarified the reason for his apology, the smile disappeared from her face. Her facial muscles tensed, seemingly recalling what Hayun had said. After a moment of silence, as if collecting herself, she soon smiled brightly again. It seemed to be in place of saying it was okay.
“Are you alright?”
She examined Dawoon’s complexion.
“I felt like you were lumped in with me and put down because of me, just like your brother said…”
Ah. A short groan escaped from his throat. Choi Yu-na turned her head with a bitter expression, avoiding the gaze they had been sharing.
Lumped in and put down. It was a strange expression. That day, Hayun had clearly distinguished between her and Dawoon when he spoke. That’s why Dawoon thought his words were too rude and was now apologizing on his behalf, yet Choi Yu-na expressed that Dawoon had been put down along with her.
So this is why. This is why hyung was wary of her.
Even though he was close to being an outsider in the family, Dawoon had encountered all sorts of people since he was young. He had seen countless people whose outward appearance differed from their true nature. Just like Choi Yu-na now.
“I’ll quit the broadcasting club.”
As he hadn’t answered when she asked earlier, Choi Yu-na looked at him with surprised eyes.
“We probably won’t run into each other if it’s not for the broadcasting club.”
“Do you really have to go that far because of the adults?”
Her face showed disappointment. He had felt empathy and pity for this seemingly innocent expression, but…
“It’s not because of the adults.”
“Then why?”
“I think you know the answer to that better than I do, senior.”
Dawoon left those words and turned away. Apart from the complicated feelings about what Hayun had done to him, in the end, Hayun had been right. That fact was very bitter.
