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#Side 1. Small Changes in Daily Life (2)
“You said you’re not my guardian anymore.”
At these words tinged with a sigh, Hayun visibly flinched. His eyes narrowed noticeably. The smile that had been on his lips disappeared.
“Not a guardian, you say…”
He quietly repeated Dawoon’s words.
You said you won’t be my brother anymore.
Dawoon was about to add those words but stopped. Even without him saying it, Hayun already understood.
“So?”
The corners of Hayun’s mouth curved up gently. It was a smile that seemed full of hidden intentions, making Dawoon regret if he was doing something unnecessary.
“I’m saying delete it because I don’t need ‘protection’ anymore.”
“I never said I’d stop protecting you.”
As expected, he wasn’t easy to deal with. He seemed to be asserting that even if he wasn’t a brother, his role as Dawoon’s protector remained unchanged.
“When I said I’d stay by your side, it didn’t mean I needed protection.”
Since this was an expected reaction, Dawoon continued calmly.
“I know I’m lacking compared to you right now. But someday, we need to be on equal footing, or there’s no point in staying together.”
The seven-year age gap was bigger than expected. Moreover, Jeong Hayun was someone who had achieved more than others. Therefore, it might be difficult to stand on an equal level with him even with a lifetime of effort. In terms of objective conditions visible to others, it was nearly impossible to catch up to him.
But mentally, at least, Dawoon wanted to face him, not just follow him and be protected under his shadow. Even if it was difficult now, he wanted to be someone Hayun could rely on when he was struggling. For that, the current one-sided relationship was impossible.
“I wonder what you’re trying to say.”
Hayun muttered in a quiet voice. He didn’t seem to have any intention of giving up his stubbornness yet.
“You don’t need to do things like location tracking. If you ask where I am anytime, I’ll answer.”
At Dawoon’s response, Hayun’s eyebrows twitched slightly.
“If you’re curious about who I met or what I’m doing, ask me directly. I’ll answer everything.”
Despite Dawoon saying there was nothing to hide, Hayun remained silent, just quietly staring.
“If what you want is a younger sibling, if you want to play the role of a guardian, then this is fine as it is. Actually, even that’s a bit ridiculous. I’m not a child anymore. It’s excessive interference to go that far. But I’ll put up with it. If it’s as my ‘brother’. If you’re worried about your ‘younger sibling’ with the same heart as a parent.”
At these words, Hayun’s lips pressed into a straight line.
“But if that’s not the case…”
Dawoon met Hayun’s gaze directly. If he didn’t correct this properly now, they might have to live with this misunderstanding forever. So Dawoon had no intention of backing down either.
“I want you to trust me.”
He thought that while location tracking programs, wiretapping, or phone cloning programs were justified under the name of protection, it was ultimately a matter of trust. If Hayun trusted Dawoon in the relationship he wanted, these things weren’t necessary.
“I do trust you.”
He seemed to want to say that trusting and wanting to protect were separate issues.
“No. You don’t trust me.”
Dawoon cut off his words and answered firmly.
“I’m not a child anymore. You’re still treating me like one.”
He emphasized that if Hayun was really doing this just because he wanted to protect Dawoon, he wasn’t treating him like an adult.
A long silence fell. Hayun stared at Dawoon without saying anything. He didn’t avert his gaze either. With his lips set firmly, he just stared intently as if trying to read Dawoon’s inner thoughts. Even though Dawoon was used to Hayun’s gaze, the long silence combined with the blatant staring was starting to make him feel suffocated. Still, he met Hayun’s gaze straight on without looking away.
How much time had passed? Perhaps it wasn’t as long as it felt. Hayun took a deep breath and picked up Dawoon’s phone from the table. He tapped the screen, manipulating something, then put it back on the table.
“I’ve deleted it.”
At his answer, the muscles in Dawoon’s face finally relaxed.
“You said I could ask anytime, so that’s what I’ll do.”
Dawoon suddenly felt uneasy at Hayun’s words. Surely not…
“I don’t know how many times a day it’ll be, but since you said it, don’t complain.”
Just how many times was he planning to check? Dawoon thought he surely wouldn’t call every hour or so, but with Hayun, you never knew.
“I can’t answer during lectures.”
“But you’ll answer at all other times?”
Hayun finally smiled as he asked back. Dawoon nodded calmly. There was no reason to avoid Hayun’s calls.
“You have my class schedule, right?”
Hayun had handled all the graduate school course registrations in the first place. Dawoon had never given him the schedule, but he asked thinking Hayun would naturally know everything. Hayun just grinned, apparently thinking there was no need to answer.
“Try to restrain yourself a bit, if possible.”
Dawoon added, worried that Hayun might really call every hour. Again, Hayun didn’t answer. It meant he would do as he pleased in the end.
“So, what are you planning to do tomorrow that made you ask to delete all this?”
Hayun immediately tried to check Dawoon’s schedule for the next day.
“I heard there’s a Korean-style dessert cafe, so I’m planning to go there.”
“With whom?”
“With friends from my class.”
“Who are they?”
As expected, he tried to confirm even the names.
“Theo and Lily.”
When both a male and female name came up, Hayun made a long “hmm” sound.
“Theo likes Lily. She doesn’t seem to have noticed yet, though.”
Dawoon added an unnecessary explanation to prevent misunderstandings. Only then did the corners of Hayun’s eyes curve gently.
“Sounds like Lee Ui-hyeon and Kim Na-eun.”
He seemed to know even the history of those two. Dawoon thought it was remarkable how much Hayun knew, but didn’t add anything else. If Hayun thought Theo and Lily were similar to Ui-hyeon and Na-eun, at least he wouldn’t have unnecessary misunderstandings about Dawoon being involved with them.
“What about dinner?”
“What about you? Will you be home early?”
“I can’t promise. Things are a bit hectic these days.”
“Let me know if you can come home early. If you think you’ll be late, I’ll just grab something simple outside and come back.”
Dawoon didn’t like eating alone. He wasn’t particularly fond of eating in general, but in Korea, even when Hayun was late, Haram was there, so he rarely had to eat alone. Preparing and cleaning up a meal just for himself was more troublesome than expected. As a result, if he wasn’t particularly hungry, he often just grabbed some snacks and skipped meals. On days when Hayun was late due to work, he worried most about Dawoon’s meals and nagged him not to skip them.
“Whether you eat out or at home, make sure to have a proper meal.”
At the words telling him not to just eat snacks again, Dawoon subtly averted his gaze.
“And you say you’re not a child.”
Hayun clicked his tongue and stood up. Wondering where he was going, Dawoon looked up, and Hayun nodded towards the kitchen. It meant he wanted to cook dinner since it wasn’t dinnertime yet.
Hayun entered the kitchen, skillfully rolled up his shirt sleeves, and took out various ingredients from the refrigerator. As Dawoon watched him wash and chop cabbage on the cutting board, a quiet smile spread across his face.
It was still amazing to see, no matter how many times he saw it. Jeong Hayun cooking. Even though they had lived together for nearly 20 years, this was something unimaginable in Korea.
Certainly, both Hayun and Dawoon were changing from how they were in Korea. It was a very small, very subtle change, but every time Dawoon realized it, something indescribable seemed to spread warmly inside his chest.
***
After finishing the meeting and leaving the conference room, Hayun took out his phone while walking down the corridor. Checking the time, it was exactly when Dawoon’s lecture should have ended. Without hesitation, he immediately pressed and held speed dial number 1, but there was only a long series of dial tones with no answer.
“Vice Chairman.”
At Director Park’s call, Hayun turned his head to see the director’s eyes move from Hayun’s face down to the phone in his hand.
“May I ask what’s going on? This is already the how many-th time today…”
It was the fifth time since the morning. It was the number of times he had called to check what Jeong Dawoon was doing. Hayun smiled bitterly, then pressed the end call button and lowered his hand holding the phone.
“It’s different from when I thought I could check anytime.”
“What do you mean…?”
“I deleted them all. All the programs installed on Dawoon’s phone.”
At Hayun’s answer, Director Park’s expression momentarily hardened as if surprised, then returned to normal. It was obvious what he would be thinking. He might wonder if it was necessary to make such a fuss just because those things were deleted. Or he might want to ask why Hayun deleted them if he was going to be like this.
“I didn’t want to, but it seemed like that kid was taking a small step forward first. So I couldn’t say no.”
Even though Hayun spoke vaguely, Director Park, who had observed their relationship longer than anyone, understood well.
“Are you anxious?”
At Director Park’s question, Hayun smiled bitterly. Even when he had given Dawoon a phone with all sorts of programs installed, he didn’t actually check it frequently. Since Dawoon’s daily life was monotonous, it was enough to check only when he felt Dawoon’s attitude was different from usual. Nevertheless, the thought that he couldn’t check anytime made him more anxious than usual.
“There are ways to track without using a phone. Should I prepare something inconspicuous like a watch or a pen?”
It was a tempting suggestion. However, Hayun shook his head. This time, he was determined to follow Dawoon’s wishes. He thought that maybe this could be an opportunity for Dawoon to get a grip on his own emotions.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
