“Yeojun, let’s not waste words. Let’s get divorced. I’ve met someone I like.”
It had been a while since Dogyeong had moved out and gotten her own place. And Yeojun already knew she had fallen into a good relationship with the actor who played opposite her in the drama she recently appeared in. Seeing how she finally asked him for a divorce, it seemed both she and her partner were quite serious. He had no desire to condemn her for being unfaithful. Their marriage had already reached an irreparable state, and they had been strangers emotionally for a long time, though they were still spouses on paper, so it was rather a natural progression. So he thought it might actually be for the best. Both of them were actors with their private lives constantly exposed to the public, needing to manage their images, which had kept them in this stagnant relationship unable to move forward or back. She had made a decisive move. But despite that, he must have felt bitter. Looking at how he held Euntae, who had come to discuss work, and drank heavily, even going as far as doing what they did.
It wasn’t quite sex since there was no penetration. They just shared warmth, caressing each other’s bodies at a distance close enough to feel each other’s breath. Until he found himself in the bedroom masturbating, he wasn’t sure what had gotten into him. He seemed to have barely made it to the bedroom and collapsed after drinking more than usual, but he also seemed to have been drifting in and out of drowsiness and haziness. He thought the arousal might have come from a touch of sadness. It was natural that he hadn’t been intimate with his wife for a long time, and his status as a married man—at least officially—hadn’t allowed him to freely engage with others. A life of restraint and suppression. The fact that this was all he got as a result made him feel foolish for not doing more, and it seemed like cracks had formed in the wall holding back his desires. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. When he was vigorously stroking himself, not knowing if anyone was outside the door, his head was full of such desires. Euntae being there, and approaching him in that situation, might have been an opportunity. But seeing how he still refrained from penetration even at the end, was he beyond redemption?
[Check the refrigerator when you wake up. I bought hangover soup.]
While he was deliberating whether to sleep more or get up, checking the time, another message arrived from Euntae. It seemed quite thoughtful that despite probably not feeling well himself, Euntae had gone out early to work and even remembered to leave hangover soup. However, Yeojun didn’t reply to him and closed his eyes again. He’d better sleep a bit more. Until Euntae came and woke him up.
* * *
“No response.”
In a corner of the café located on the first floor of the company building, Euntae muttered softly while looking at his silent phone. The screen showed his conversation with Yeojun open. Yeojun had read the earlier message about the script, but the later message about the hangover soup remained unread. Various speculations were possible. But Euntae didn’t overthink it. Although he was concerned about Yeojun’s condition due to yesterday’s drinking, they weren’t in a special enough relationship for him to deeply worry about why Yeojun wasn’t reading his messages or not responding even after reading them. They had done something a bit special last night, but it wasn’t actually sex, and even if it had been, nothing would have changed.
Euntae and Yeojun had a relationship that was neither particularly close nor particularly distant. Knowing the door code was simply because Euntae was a manager. And not even a direct manager hired by Yeojun. Euntae belonged to the company and was one of several road managers who helped with various odd jobs for several less busy actors as schedules required. He happened to handle Yeojun’s work often, which made them somewhat comfortable with each other, but that was about it. A relationship too ambiguous to call friends or close brothers, yet somehow lacking to simply call colleagues—just comfortable enough for work purposes. That’s probably why Yeojun never explained why his mood was so low, even after they’d finished all that alcohol. Though Euntae had a pretty good guess.
The fact that Yeojun’s relationship with his wife wasn’t harmonious wasn’t something Euntae knew because they were particularly close. It was something everyone in the company knew. Even people in the industry had a sense of it. The only reason it hadn’t spread to the public was simply because Yeojun wasn’t receiving that much public attention at the moment.
But was that what made it possible? To share warmth with each other like that? If they had been closer, such feelings might not have arisen, or even if they had, the urge to restrain would have been stronger. But if they had been too distant, it might have been awkward. Well, Euntae was the type who could enjoy a one-night stand even with a complete stranger, but they were still people who had to see each other’s faces afterward.
“So it’s true about Seo Yeojun.”
Just as he was thinking he’d had enough leisure and should get up, two people who appeared to be employees from some department sat at a table close to Euntae. They seemed to be trying to keep their conversation secret, but their voices were loud enough to reach Euntae’s ears. Though Euntae wasn’t particularly interested in others’ gossip, he couldn’t help but tune in when one man mentioned Yeojun’s name. Well, he hadn’t intentionally tried to listen, but by the time he realized it, his ears were already open.
“Really? What?”
“That things aren’t good between Seo Yeojun and Yoon Dogyeong.”
“Is there anyone working at this company who still doesn’t know that?”
The man who had been expecting something extraordinary responded dismissively. Euntae nodded too. As mentioned, Yeojun’s poor relationship with his wife was already common knowledge.
“No, that’s not it. I saw it myself. Yoon Dogyeong with Han Seungju.”
Han Seungju was Dogyeong’s co-star in the drama she had recently appeared in. Yeojun’s knowledge of Dogyeong’s new man. The man who brought this up seemed to want to say that the relationship between the two was unusual. He also said the atmosphere didn’t seem like they were just acquaintances and that actors don’t usually meet separately so affectionately after a project ends. While working together on a project, they inevitably get close in some way, but given the nature of their profession where they need to be mindful of public perception, continuing interactions steadily is rare. After all, a project is also work for them. They don’t go to sets to socialize or meet people; they get to know people while doing their job, so regardless of gender, not everyone maintains close relationships.
“Still, isn’t it risky to jump to conclusions just because they were together?”
“Ah, really. Why are you being so cautious? I think when celebrities show that much, they’ve already done everything. Just being seen together can cause all kinds of rumors in this business. But they’re openly going around together? When relationships are ambiguous, people keep it quiet to avoid unnecessary trouble, but they’re probably past caring about that.”
The one who had said it was risky seemed to agree, nodding his head. Euntae also thought there was some truth to it.
“So they’re splitting up now?”
People talk so easily about others’ affairs. But again, Euntae found it hard to deny their speculation. Though he didn’t know the deeper circumstances of Yeojun’s life, he had enough sense to notice they had long since lost the meaning of being a couple. Hadn’t they been living separately for quite a while now, with the official excuse that he needed a place to focus on work? In fact, when Euntae first heard that story, he hadn’t understood. Sure, childcare and various household chores might make it difficult to concentrate on work, but not everyone turns their back on home because of that. And Yeojun wasn’t the type to push everything onto his wife either.
Suddenly, Yeojun’s face from last night on the same bed, at a very close distance, flashed in his mind. That face, full of heat and confusion. Though it was too dark to see clearly, it seemed like he might have been crying a bit. But he was beautiful. Usually when people talked about Yeojun’s face, they often said he had strong, masculine features. That was true. Euntae also saw masculinity in Yeojun. And because of that, he thought his face had a masculine beauty. He also seemed to have a somewhat neat and gentle feeling. He thought such aspects might appeal to the same sex as well. He wasn’t sure about the perspective of someone who was completely gay, but at least from his own standpoint, being attracted to both women and men, the charm was considerable.
Did he need comfort? Given that such talk was coming from people’s mouths, the person involved must have known. Yeojun hadn’t held onto Euntae and lamented his situation, nor had he collapsed in tears, but Euntae dared to make such a guess.
As a third party who didn’t know well, Euntae had no intention of condemning Dogyeong for being wrong. She must have had her own circumstances, and the only person who could judge her would be Yeojun. So he didn’t know if she was a good person or a bad person, but just based on the feeling he got from Yeojun, he seemed to need warmth. Whether it was because of his wife or some other personal thoughts, he wasn’t sure either. But that’s just how it was. Whatever it was, he was hot and wanted the same heat, and although they didn’t reach penetration, their contact was sufficiently overflowing with heat.
* * *
“It’s cold. So cold.”
Having opened the front door as if familiar with it and entered the house, Euntae shivered once at the chilliness of the house, which seemed colder than outside. The reason wasn’t hard to find. The door leading to the terrace on the other side of the living room was open. Opening the door so vulnerably on what was said to be the coldest day of this winter—what was he thinking? But upon discovering Yeojun standing on the terrace wearing only training pants, Euntae decided it might be easier not to ask. Understanding anything is troublesome, after all.
“Is someone approaching forty overflowing with vigor?”
Euntae, now standing beside Yeojun, asked while fastening the front of his padded jacket against the cold. Yeojun, who hadn’t known Euntae was coming, turned his head at the sound to look at him. If he hadn’t had a cigarette in his mouth, it looked like some harsh curse might have come out. Despite having an outwardly neat and beautiful face, he was unexpectedly the type to easily spit out harsh words. So normally, he might have started with “What the hell?” and spat out a few curses.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
