# 01. Prologue. Being Drunk is an Excuse (1)
He was like an impenetrable fortress. He seemed to have wrapped himself tightly, never willing to open the door for anyone. A solitary lord of the castle. So if you asked whether he looked strong and majestic because of that, well… To be honest, he looked so precarious and pitiful that I wanted to push him over right away. And the opportunity came easier than expected.
“Where’s Haneul?”
“His mom took him.”
Park Euntae, who had just entered the living room and asked the question, hesitated slightly at the response from Seo Yeojun, who was sitting alone in the spacious living room drinking alcohol. He briefly pondered how to react. Should he ask “Why?” or should he casually brush it off with “Is that so?”
There were quite complex reasons for this simple answer causing such deliberation. First was the dark atmosphere that seemed to permeate the entire house, followed by Yeojun’s melancholy that appeared to be the source of that darkness, and finally the crisis situation that had already been looming over the household. So the thought that Dogyeong, Yeojun’s wife and Haneul’s mother, might have “taken him away for good” made it difficult to ask directly.
“She said she’d keep him for a few days.”
Yeojun added an explanation, as if he knew that many worries had flashed through Euntae’s mind in the brief moment before he sat down across from him. Euntae felt somewhat relieved, thinking, “At least it’s not an extreme situation.” And when he belatedly complained about why Yeojun had to say it so solemnly, Yeojun just gave a faint smile. Judging by the bitter edge to that smile, something must have happened. But again, Euntae couldn’t bring himself to ask what was wrong. Though he entered the house typing the door code as naturally as if he belonged there, Yeojun was still someone Euntae found difficult to approach, and Euntae wasn’t the type to hastily involve himself in others’ private lives.
“What brings you here at this hour?”
Perhaps because Yeojun had a guest, or maybe because he’d felt a bit lonely drinking by himself, he got up from his seat, found another glass, and brought it over. He placed it in front of Euntae and filled it naturally. Euntae had no chance to refuse. However, Yeojun didn’t seem intent on forcing him to drink, as he just lightly clinked his glass against Euntae’s and took a sip by himself.
“What do you mean ‘what’? I told you earlier on the phone. I said I got work.”
“Ah, right.”
Yeojun’s response was lukewarm. He seemed to have completely forgotten their conversation from earlier in the day. And that was the end of it. He didn’t even ask what kind of work it was, despite being told there was work. He wasn’t interested. Or perhaps in this case, he didn’t have the mental capacity to be interested.
Yeojun was an actor. He belonged to a fairly large company and was somewhat well-known himself. Having debuted at eighteen, he had steadily risen without fading into obscurity until his mid-twenties. He was quite a recognized actor in his own right. But at twenty-nine, unable to overcome the notorious “age of nine” jinx, his career took a nosedive due to a sudden marriage and military enlistment. Now at thirty-five, he was just one of those actors who wasn’t in high demand.
After being discharged from the military, he had a hard time accepting his diminished position for a while. So if you asked whether he was still fixated on past glory and uninterested in minor matters, that wasn’t the case. He had a wife and a son. He had been the head of a household for a long time, so his period of wandering due to denial of reality didn’t last long, and now he was the type to work hard at anything without complaint. That’s why Euntae changed his suspicion to certainty that something was wrong. Because the normal Yeojun would have been happy to hear about work and would have asked with considerable enthusiasm what it was and what needed to be done.
“Why is the food so sparse? You’re a person with money. I haven’t had dinner either, can I order something?”
It was difficult to ask what was wrong without the person telling him first, but Euntae didn’t want to leave him alone. So despite having a few remaining work tasks on his mind, he decided to put them off with a few messages since they could be postponed. He wasn’t sure how much help he could be, but seeing Yeojun place a glass in front of him made him think that Yeojun might want someone to be there. When Euntae spoke, Yeojun readily agreed, telling him to order whatever he wanted to eat. Euntae didn’t hesitate any longer, quickly emptied his glass, and while it was being refilled, he took out his phone and started ordering various foods.
“Do you have more alcohol?”
“Drink whatever you want.”
Yeojun gestured with his chin toward a cabinet on one side of the living room. It was a place where he usually kept his precious liquors, and it was like a sacred space that he would never allow anyone to access, no matter how much they begged for just a taste. The fact that he would so willingly open it now… Thinking that there was no way he’d be able to walk out of this house soberly, Euntae still didn’t refuse. He had been wanting to let loose anyway, after the exhausting schedule of the past few days. So thinking this was a win-win situation, he looked at Yeojun’s face. The face, flushed slightly with heat from drinking, was beautiful as always.
* * *
Consciousness returned abruptly through a haze. The moment Euntae opened his eyes, he blinked several times at the familiar yet unfamiliar ceiling, only then realizing he had momentarily dozed off in his seat. He ran a hand across his face and inhaled lightly before exhaling. He had merely dozed rather than fallen into a deep sleep, so he still felt languid and slightly tipsy. How much had he drunk? Despite normally having a good tolerance, the heaviness of his body suggested he’d had more than just a moderate amount. But why did I drink so much anyway…?
“Hyung. Yeojun hyung. Hyung.”
Euntae belatedly recalled whose living room he was in. And he looked for Yeojun, who had surely been emptying bottles with him until just now. He called out “Hyung” several more times, but there was no answer from Yeojun. Given how drunk he was himself, Yeojun’s condition must be even worse. And since he wasn’t the type to go outside in such a state, he must be somewhere in the house. After all, he was someone with such a fearsome actor’s instinct that he would be meticulous about his image management no matter how drunk.
Though it would have been fine to be a bit lazy—and he wanted to be—the scene before his eyes was too much of a mess, so Euntae decided to move his reluctant body. The short nap had at least helped him avoid being in a completely disheveled state. Unlike his earlier worry, he could stand and walk on two feet. If he didn’t rush, other movements shouldn’t be a problem either. He started cleaning up the bottles rolling under the table and the food scattered messily on top of it. They had eaten a lot and drunk a lot. He hadn’t realized how strong the alcohol was while drinking, but now looking at the empty bottles, he felt lucky to be in as good a shape as he was. After cleaning up the mess, should he make some hangover soup? Or order some from a nearby soup restaurant? Though his mind was a bit clearer now, the manager in him started to worry about the actor’s condition.
While going back and forth between the living room and kitchen with these thoughts, cleaning up, Yeojun remained quiet. He must be passed out in some room, though Euntae wasn’t sure which one. He seemed to be completely out cold. And just as Euntae was heading back to the living room to clear away the last plate…
“…nnh.”
A small moan caught his ankle. For a moment, he thought he’d misheard and turned his head to see a partially open door in the distance. That must be the bedroom, probably. He might be having a bad dream, or Euntae might really have misheard. But some strange feeling kept him from moving away, and after a long moment when he finally tried to look away, he heard that faint, suffering moan again. He hadn’t misheard. A barely audible, somewhat suppressed moan continued. Is he in pain? The thought crossed his mind briefly, but Euntae wasn’t so clueless that he couldn’t tell the difference between sounds of pain and sounds of heat. And right now in this house, there should only be himself and Yeojun.
“…mmh.”
Indeed, Yeojun was alone. Curled up by himself on the large bed. Whether intoxicated by alcohol or sleep, his hand was clearly holding his own cock. It was a somewhat surprising scene, but not incomprehensible or unexpected. A healthy man would certainly have sexual desires. Rather, despite having sexual desires, Yeojun always lived a life of restraint. The alcohol probably helped. And his son Haneul wasn’t home today. It was a perfectly fine time for some self-pleasure. The only issue was the presence of another person, Euntae, but perhaps in his drunken state he had overlooked that, thinking Euntae had left or passed out somewhere. His loosened reasoning was enough to make whatever judgment suited him.
Though thinking he should close the door, Euntae couldn’t seem to move his hand gripping the doorknob. The room was dark, and Yeojun wasn’t exposing himself completely, indulging in obscene masturbation. Despite being in his own home, in his own bedroom, he had only slightly opened the front of his pants and was trying to secretly seek pleasure while holding his breath. That timid demeanor was more pitiful than erotic. But why did his mouth feel dry at those subtle movements that couldn’t even be clearly discerned?
“Is that going to satisfy you?”
When Yeojun, who had belatedly noticed the light from outside growing larger, stopped his hand in startled surprise, it was already too late. Euntae’s hand was covering Yeojun’s.
* * *
[I’ll pick up the script and bring it to your house this evening.]
When Yeojun opened his eyes, Euntae was gone. He had the large bed to himself, and it was a peaceful, ordinary afternoon, as if the previous night’s events had all been a dream. Even Euntae’s message on the phone he checked right after waking up was the same as always. However, vivid memories insisted it wasn’t a dream, and Yeojun had no desire to pretend it hadn’t happened. Having such an encounter with Euntae was an unexpected development, but it happened nonetheless, and he wasn’t one to avoid what he’d done. It was because of that personality that he had gone ahead with his marriage to Dogyeong despite everyone’s opposition. Well, even that marriage, which he thought would be the love of the century, seemed unable to escape the quagmire of failure, and finally yesterday they agreed to put an end to it.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
