Cha-hyeon’s lips parted weakly. His face wavered with an unfamiliar expression, like he’d just taken a critical hit in the most unexpected moment—a flicker of raw vulnerability Se-min had never seen before.
“……”
“……”
One second. Two. Three…
Se-min silently watched Cha-hyeon, expression unreadable, until his eyes slowly lowered. He let out a small sigh.
“I love you.”
Cha-hyeon immediately answered—hurried, desperate, as though breaking free from a paralyzing spell. But Se-min only shut his eyes tight, slowly and with finality.
His chest felt hollow, like something had been scooped clean out of it. Pain throbbed deep in his heart, sharp and suffocating. His nose stung. Was he really wagging his tail like a fool just because the only person who could guide him said they liked him?
His own doubts—ones he’d tried to ignore—came back around, cutting deep. And once that doubt sprouted, it didn’t stay small. It grew fast, like an overgrown tree, pressing on his chest with crushing weight.
“Se-min.”
Cha-hyeon’s anxious voice broke through. He rushed closer, stepping right up to the hospital bed, and grabbed Se-min’s hand. The chill of his skin transferred immediately.
“No, I…!”
He was rambling now, clearly flustered, stumbling over his words. Slowly, Se-min raised his head. He looked at the man in front of him—his lover, his only family, the one who’d protected him like no one else.
The eyes that were always so open, so full of affection, had dulled.
“…Hyung. If you wanted me to believe you when you said you loved me…”
Even to his own ears, his voice sounded unfamiliar—quiet, almost calm. He looked at Cha-hyeon, pale and shaken, and continued.
“…you shouldn’t have hesitated.”
Cha-hyeon’s grip on his hand tightened. The contact felt firmer—but paradoxically, even emptier than before.
“No. I didn’t hesitate, it’s just—!”
His dark eyes trembled. His throat bobbed hard as he swallowed, then finally, urgently, words came tumbling out.
“…I said that because I don’t know exactly what love is.”
The words landed like a slap. Se-min had been waiting for an excuse—maybe a dumb one—but not this. This was the man who always seemed to have everything under control, who never faltered. And now he was saying… he didn’t even understand what love was?
Se-min stared at him, dazed. He didn’t know what love was? What the hell had they been doing all this time, then?
“…What do you mean, you don’t know what love is?”
Se-min’s disbelief was clear. Cha-hyeon looked just as panicked as before. He ran a hand through his black hair, messing it up as he tried to explain.
“If you ask me if I feel something for you, I can say yes. I do. But if you ask whether I love you the way you love me, then… I don’t know. The love you give me—it feels different. It’s more… sacred, more desperate, pure, radiant…”
His brows furrowed as he struggled to put the feeling into words—describing something invisible, something vague.
“…that kind of love,” he added in a breath.
Se-min’s mouth fell open.
Cha-hyeon wasn’t just confused—he was romanticizing love, turning it into some fairytale creature you could never really catch. A bluebird you chase forever. The place at the end of the rainbow.
“My feelings for you… they’re not like that.”
He bit down on his lower lip, as if wondering whether that kind of lofty, innocent emotion was the only kind of “real” love. He looked lost. Like a child, anxious and confused, completely unaware of how to handle it.
But oddly enough, the confusion in the man who had always been Se-min’s protector made Se-min feel strangely calm. In that moment, a small, fragile hope sparked in his chest.
“Then what kind of feeling is it?”
He asked quietly.
Cha-hyeon swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to answer, then shut it tight, frowning. Finally, after a long breath, he confessed—low and raw.
“I want you. No matter what I have to do to have you.”
The black, sticky emotion that had been festering in his gut now spilled out. He gripped Se-min’s hand tighter—fingers curling, locking, coiling around his like a snake around its prey.
“No matter what I have to do…”
Se-min inhaled sharply, startled. He looked up, and in Cha-hyeon’s dark eyes, he saw something slick and intense—thick, tar-like possessiveness.
“Even if it means pretending to be that asshole— Even if it means stomaching that fucked-up role just because you miss the original Sung Cha-hyeon— I’d do it.”
“…What?”
The faint word escaped Se-min’s lips like air being sucked from his lungs. It didn’t make sense. Not yet.
But Cha-hyeon wasn’t stopping. His voice stayed calm, deliberate, almost eerie in how steady it was.
“Even if Sung Cha-hyeon never came back, I could fake it. I convinced myself I’d already gotten the Conditional Reward. Because I figured… if I acted like him, you’d like me more. Isn’t that love?”
“Hyung… what are you…”
He was mimicking himself? How? How did he know what the original version of himself was like?
Se-min had no idea how to process that.
That Cha-hyeon might’ve been copying the version of himself who hadn’t lost his memory… it was unthinkable.
His mind went blank—but Cha-hyeon just kept going.
“And then when I really did get the Conditional Reward… I realized something. The idea of you meeting the original Sung Cha-hyeon again—it made me want to die. Literally. I would rather die. Is that love?”
His hand clenched even tighter—tight enough to turn Se-min’s skin red. But Se-min couldn’t feel the pain.
All he could do was freeze under the weight of those wild, visceral emotions.
“You loving me— It was really love for Sung Cha-hyeon. But I was lucky. I happened to have the same face, the same body. So I got to keep it all for myself. And yeah, I was jealous. But I was also satisfied. Does that count as love?”
Se-min gulped, throat dry. Weirdly, a warm ache bloomed in his lower stomach. His toes curled inside his sneakers. His breathing grew shallow.
“If I could, I’d keep you forever. My whole life. Until I died. I wouldn’t care how. I’d lie. Cheat. Anything. Just so you’d never leave me. Even if it’s wrong— Even if it’s twisted— Would you call that love, Se-min?”
Before he realized it, Cha-hyeon’s face was so close he could feel the heat of his breath. Those eyes, dark and wild, shimmered red with obsession.
Se-min’s pupils trembled. His stomach—already hot—was now throbbing. His heart was pounding violently.
It felt like the smallest movement would get him bitten—literally. Like he was drunk on the danger. Dizzy from the rush.
“…You want me?”
The words just slipped out—inevitable.
Before losing his memory, Cha-hyeon had always been the one protecting him. Afterward, he treated him like a lover.
But now? Now, he was obsessed. And it flipped the dynamic— It was intoxicating.
“I want you so badly I’m going fucking insane.”
Cha-hyeon gritted out the words, no hesitation, like he was on fire. Pleasure exploded in Se-min’s brain, like white fireworks bursting behind his eyes.
The grip on his hand turned into a pull. Their bodies closed the final gap.
“I won’t let anyone take you. Not the original Sung Cha-hyeon. Not any other Esper bastard. And especially not some empty, vanishing memory. I refuse to lose you like that.”
The heat coming off him was suffocating— And yet, Se-min felt a bliss so intense, even the fine hairs on his arms stood on end.
His question changed.
“Do you love me?”
Cha-hyeon froze.
They were so close that Se-min could see every flicker in his dark eyes—the emotions flicking across them like shadows.
His heart thundered as he watched Cha-hyeon wrestle with the question.
“…If this kind of emotion can be called love… Then yeah. For me, it is.”
It felt like something burst inside him. A jolt of electrifying pleasure shot through Se-min. His whole body started to tremble.
“…Is it love?”
Cha-hyeon asked again, barely changing the words— still gripping his hand so tight his veins bulged.
“I love you.”
He changed the words again, firmer now. Like he finally understood his own heart.
Se-min could see it— That emotion burning bright in Cha-hyeon’s eyes.
“I love you.”
Ah— A deep, breathy moan of satisfaction slipped past Se-min’s lips.
It was the same phrase—“I love you”— But the weight of it, the truth in it, filled him to the brim. It was overwhelming. And perfect.
Cha-hyeon had said he loved him.
He didn’t hold back his craving— Didn’t hide his obsession. And Se-min… was completely filled by it.
He shut his eyes with a tremble. Tried to calm himself—tried. But Cha-hyeon seemed to take it as a different signal.
“Nngh…!”
Their lips crashed together, hard. Their teeth clashed, the sting sharp—but then the pain vanished. Because Cha-hyeon was kissing him like a man starving.
“Mm, ngh, hah…!”
Se-min’s upper body was pushed back, nearly tipping from the chair. But the fear of falling lasted only a second.
Cha-hyeon grabbed the back of his head, pulling him in deeper, twisting their tongues together.
Se-min had no idea why—but all he could think of was that moment, during the proposal, when Cha-hyeon said he’d make love to him like he was the most precious thing in the world.
His body heated fast. The fire in his gut spread lower—pulsing.
“Hhhnnngh…!”
Se-min clung to him tightly. Their bodies pressed flush—desperate, like they’d die if even an inch of space remained.
Even through the layers of clothes, he could feel Cha-hyeon’s heartbeat pounding.
He loves me. Hyung really loves me.
Their kiss went on—fierce, devouring, consuming.
He loves me. Sung Cha-hyeon loves Ji Se-min.
And in that moment, it felt like the world had given them its seal of approval. Like their love had finally been proven.
Se-min’s head spun—drenched in strange, electric joy.
And in the hazy edge of his vision— something flickered.
A faint, translucent blue screen.
~ Unclaimed Rewards List ~
♦ …??? ??…(??)
