Chapter 29
He hadn’t planned to drink from the start. After leaving the orphanage, he went with Taeju to eat jajangmyeon as a late lunch, and there he kept thinking of Yuwon.
How he had quietly mixed his jajangmyeon, how when asked why he was picking at it for so long, he said it was because he was nervous.
It was irritating how he kept flickering in his mind when he couldn’t even touch him, so he ordered alcohol. Taeju, excited about drinking after a long time, endlessly downed soju, and matching his pace appropriately, this is how things ended up.
So if you think about it, this all happened because of you.
Jeonghyeok gently rubbed under Yuwon’s eyes with his thumb and said:
“I told you to eat first without waiting for me.”
Even when he spoke soothingly, the expression full of hurt feelings showed no signs of clearing up.
Jeonghyeok gently stroked his soft cheek. After waiting patiently, the lips that had been pressed tightly shut finally opened slightly.
“……wanted to.”
“What?”
“I wanted to eat…… together with ajeossi.”
Yuwon spoke haltingly.
Getting hurt over something like this was childish. In the first place, he was also at fault for stubbornly waiting while ignoring ajeossi’s words to eat first. He knew very well how ridiculous he looked right now.
Still, he had endured being hungry and waited until this hour. It was unavoidable that he felt hurt.
Jeonghyeok, who had been quietly watching Yuwon bite his lower lip, removed the hand that was touching Yuwon and headed to the kitchen table.
“Come here.”
Jeonghyeok took the bowls from the table and served rice and stew. During this time, Yuwon didn’t move a single step and just quietly watched Jeonghyeok.
After taking out several side dishes from the refrigerator and pulling out a chair to sit, Jeonghyeok looked at Yuwon and gestured with his chin.
“Aren’t you going to sit?”
Then he shamelessly picked up his spoon. He took a heaping spoonful of the completely cooled kimchi stew, put it in his mouth, and nodded.
“It’s delicious.”
He hadn’t wanted him to go this far. Yuwon let out a deep sigh and said:
“You said you already had dinner.”
“I can eat again. What’s so difficult about that?”
“You don’t need to force yourself, you know? Hurry up and go wash up.”
Even when Yuwon approached to stop him, Jeonghyeok silently continued eating.
“If you don’t eat, I’m going to eat yours too.”
Jeonghyeok, who had begun eating in earnest, brought Yuwon’s rice bowl in front of himself. With two rice bowls in front of him, he busily moved his spoon, showing no intention of getting up.
“Ha, really. Fine. I’ll eat, so give it here.”
Yuwon had no choice but to sit down. Looking at the well-prepared food, he was terribly hungry. He had eaten lunch around 12 o’clock, so he hadn’t eaten anything for 9 hours already.
Yuwon swallowed his saliva and ate rice and soup in turn. Even though he had made it himself, the sweet and spicy taste was very delicious. While eating quietly but quickly, Yuwon suddenly remembered something he needed to talk about.
“Um, you know. Ajeossi. Do you know that next week will mark a month since I started living here?”
“Has it been that long already?”
Jeonghyeok picked out the meat from the kimchi stew and placed it on top of Yuwon’s rice bowl. Looking at his face that smiled slightly as if grateful, Jeonghyeok also smiled faintly.
Until Yuwon continued with his next words.
“I think I should start looking for a part-time job soon.”
“……”
“That way I can earn money to give to ajeossi and save up for my own deposit. The deposit for the place I used to live was only 5 million won. If I live here and save up quickly for a few months, I should be able to get a monthly rental around here.”
He wanted to say that he would get a place nearby so he wouldn’t be far from ajeossi, but the words wouldn’t come out. He was still too embarrassed to say such things.
How much closer would they need to become before he could express all his feelings honestly without hiding anything? Yuwon curled his fingertips and imagined a future that hadn’t come yet.
But Jeonghyeok’s expression was far from normal.
“Why are you so eager to leave?”
“Pardon?”
“You could just not leave this house. I said I won’t take money from you.”
Finally, Jeonghyeok put down the spoon he was holding with a clatter.
“Or. Are you doing this because you just want to leave? Do you hate living with me?”
At the coldly sunken voice, Yuwon shook his head and said:
“It’s not that…… I can’t keep imposing on you like this.”
“Why do you think you’re imposing? You cook like this and take care of all the housework.”
“Anyway, it’s true that I’m freeloading. And I don’t like constantly borrowing ajeossi’s card either. No matter how much we’re lovers, money matters should be clear.”
He had never borrowed money from anyone in his life. He didn’t know how to live depending on others in the first place. Where in this world was there such a thing as free? Yuwon knew well that it was human nature to lend money without conditions at first, but then change their tune anytime their feelings changed.
He didn’t want to become awkward with Jeonghyeok over mere money. That’s why he wanted to settle things more clearly. He wanted to date normally, like other people.
His desperate feelings of not wanting to be misunderstood showed clearly on Yuwon’s face. Even so, Jeonghyeok’s cold expression remained unchanged.
“Just use it.”
“Pardon?”
“That damn money relationship, I won’t create one, so just use it.”
Jeonghyeok got up from his seat and headed to the bathroom without looking back.
“Ajeossi!”
Yuwon quickly got up and followed Jeonghyeok. When he grabbed the arm of Jeonghyeok who was just opening the bathroom door, he stopped briefly.
“What. Want to wash together? Come in then.”
It was something he said on purpose, knowing that Yuwon would never allow them to wash together. As expected, Yuwon, startled, stepped back.
“It’s not like that……”
“If it’s not like that, then finish eating.”
Bang. The door closed coldly. The sound of running water followed.
Looking at the firmly closed door, Yuwon let out a short sigh. He couldn’t understand why he was preventing him from working to this extent. It wasn’t like he was going to work at a proper company anyway, he was just trying to find a part-time job.
Could it be……
Had he done this for people he dated before too? Giving them a card and letting them live in this house, whispering that they didn’t need to do anything but just stay by his side.
At this randomly occurring assumption, a heavy pain shot through his chest. His imagination, spreading uncontrollably, made his throat burn. Yuwon shook his head vigorously, scattering the emotions that had sharply risen.
He could just quietly listen to what he said, but the reason he didn’t was solely for the sake of this relationship. He absolutely didn’t want to create a situation where they would blush over money, and he hated fighting like this even more.
Am I making things rocky like this because I’m bad at dating? What do other people do at times like this?
Yuwon clenched his mouth shut, made a tight fist, and went back to the kitchen. Looking at the completely cooled kimchi stew, tears seemed to well up.
While Yuwon cleared the table, suppressing his churning stomach, Jeonghyeok was suppressing his rising anger in the bathroom.
What? Imposing? Making money matters clear? Every word he uttered was absurd. How much did he want to distance himself from him to think such things?
He had told him countless times that he wished he would just stay quietly at home, but Yuwon, who insisted on working even if it killed him, was not to his liking. The fact that the reason was to pay him back money also didn’t sit well with him.
He wished he would just stay cooped up in this house without going anywhere. Not meeting anyone, not thinking about anything.
He wished he were a materialistic person who was open about money instead. He would give him anything he asked for, so he wished he would just shamelessly make demands. It was also the first time he had volunteered to be someone’s sucker.
Jeonghyeok didn’t even shower or move, just stood under the flowing water. The alcohol had worn off long ago. Only Yuwon’s innocent face floated around in his head.
I don’t like borrowing money and I don’t like continuing to live in this house. How long do you think you’ll be seeing ajeossi?
The imaginary Yuwon spouted such words with his pretty mouth.
Jeonghyeok let out a hollow laugh and turned off the faucet. He was amazed at his own behavior of getting heated while even having absurd delusions.
He had to admit what needed to be admitted. He liked Kim Yuwon. Not just liked him, but wanted to keep him close to his side. He was so concerned about Yuwon that he wondered if this was what people called romantic feelings. After living together for just a month, he even had the vague certainty that these feelings wouldn’t change whether it was one year or ten years.
In the quiet bathroom where the water had stopped, only the intermittent sound of drip, drop, water droplets falling echoed. Jeonghyeok, who had been rubbing his wet face, roughly wiped the fogged mirror.
There stood an already mature man with a hardened face. A pathetic man who displayed shameful possessiveness toward someone fifteen years younger than himself.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
