“<How to Overcome a Crisis in Life>. What a blatantly obvious title. It doesn’t even make me curious about the contents.”
Liam and I started walking again, each of us talking over the other like two people with blocked ears, only saying what we wanted to say.
“If that’s your manager, tell him not to make such a scene. And while you’re at it, tell him to get in that car and go home.”
“Is your life in crisis right now, Liam? If something’s wrong, ask me instead. I could probably give you more reliable insight than a book like that.”
“Hey, your manager got out of the car. Is he glaring at the back of your head or at me?”
“Did I ever tell you I was a huge bookworm when I was a kid?”
“He looks offended. He’s not gonna take revenge on me because of you, right?”
“If you want, I can recommend some worthwhile books. They’d be a bit old, though.”
Liam, who had been narrating the situation while watching the street, stopped dead in front of the condo entrance. He resisted the force of me trying to shove him inside, then reluctantly climbed the stairs.
“I seriously have no idea what’s going on here.”
I ignored the grumbling and quickened my pace. If I slowed down, I felt like Eden might somehow hear the laughter leaking out of me. What Liam had told me about his condition delighted me.
So he glared, huh.
And he looked offended.
By the time we got into the elevator, the broad grin on my face was reflected clearly in the mirror. Clicking his tongue at me acting all giddy, Liam removed the arm wrapped around my waist.
“You’ve finally lost it. You’ve completely gone insane.”
Even without him pointing it out, I was aware of it. I was the person who felt most keenly that I was losing my mind. My thoughts had tangled into a complete mess, I’d been stuck in a state where I couldn’t control myself, and one side of my chest would grow cold like it was suffering through the dead of winter—only to melt moments later, as if wrapped in a thick soft muffler while standing in front of a heater.
“Everyone’s at least a little crazy.”
“Don’t drag all of humanity into defending you. Even if that’s true, you’re way above the acceptable limit.”
“I gratefully accept your praise.”
I gave an exaggerated greeting like a gentleman in a tuxedo and stretched my arm outward as the elevator doors opened.
“This way, sir. After you.”
At the overly dramatic escort, Liam sighed.
“How the hell did I end up involved with a lunatic like you?”
“It’s time to admit it—you fell for my fatal charm. I’ll predict your future for you. You won’t be able to escape me easily.”
“I need to correct what I just said. You didn’t finally go crazy. You were crazy from the start.”
“I’m simply grateful for the recklessness of inviting a madman inside.”
I gave another ridiculous gentlemanly bow and entered Liam’s apartment first.
“Let’s make one thing clear. I never invited you.”
“You’re about to eat dinner, right? I’m good. I already ate.”
“Even a grain of flour would be wasted on you.”
I stuck my tongue out at the back of Liam’s head as he went upstairs, then sprawled across the sofa. Kicking my feet aimlessly, I kept turning my phone screen on and off. I’d expected some kind of message from the stalker I’d toyed with, but nothing came.
Was he that heartbroken?
“That’s fine too.”
Thinking only about me was far too pleasant to count as punishment, so it should really be considered a reward.
I recalled Eden’s reaction from the last time I visited Liam’s place—a reaction so overwhelming it even overshadowed the shock of almost getting hit by a car—and let out a sinister little chuckle.
That’s how a stalker should be. You may hold back your words, but all your attention is fixed on me.
Yeah. Exactly.
“Did you eat something bad?”
Liam, coming downstairs after changing clothes, frowned at me.
“My mouth ate something decent enough, but my eyes consumed something harmful.”
I thought about my meal. The food at the restaurant had been fine, but the dish called ‘Eden Reed’ that I’d taken in through my eyes was dangerous enough to cause food poisoning. Just look at how mercilessly he tossed my emotions around. How harmful was that?
“I wish you’d realize that you’re harmful to me right now.”
Liam straightened his outdoor clothes and tossed them into the laundry basket before heading into the kitchen. I sat across from him while he prepared himself an early dinner and sipped lazily at a can of beer. I was too full to need snacks.
The deeply simmered tomato sauce smelled delicious—not enough to make me beg for a bite, but tempting anyway. Twirling glossy-looking noodles around his fork, Liam asked:
“A stalker?”
“Hm?”
“You were rambling about one before. Is that guy from earlier your stalker?”
I couldn’t help being secretly impressed by how sharply he’d grasped the situation.
“No, nothing like that. Would a stalker make it that obvious? They’d move around secretly behind the scenes.”
Flustered, I’d gone beyond merely keeping the stalker a secret and had started outright lying to hide him.
“I guess. He didn’t seem like a stalker. Then he really is your manager? An aspiring model making a living as a manager. If he took off those tacky glasses, he’d probably do pretty well. Though that’s none of my business. Did you piss off your manager and run away to my place? Whatever happened, hurry up and apologize.”
“You don’t even know what happened, so why are you telling me to apologize?”
“Because you probably acted recklessly.”
“People who don’t really know me say I’m reckless, but those who understand my true worth—”
I’d been grumbling, hung up on the word reckless, when Liam’s next words instantly changed my expression and made me lean forward.
“Honestly, with your personality, I don’t think you could’ve won against him anyway. That guy didn’t seem ordinary.”
Just what kind of reaction had Eden shown for Liam to think he wasn’t ordinary?
“Tell me in detail. What kind of expression did he have? Was he angry? Did he look pissed enough to seem like he had a terrible personality?”
“You seem weirdly excited about this.”
“How was he? Did he look like he desperately wanted to chase after me? Was he burning up?”
“Not that much, but…”
Liam continued with a displeased look.
“It felt like lasers were about to shoot out of his eyes. Like he was about to either blow your head off or burn me alive.”
“So he was burning up. He cared. He got irritated. His anger was bubbling over.”
“I feel bad for your manager. You provoke his temper and then get happy about it. Are you absolutely sure he’s not gonna take it out on me? Don’t drag me into this. Clear up the misunderstanding properly. I’m not on your side—I’m on the manager’s side.”
“Liam. You say that, but I know you’re on my side.”
I winked one eye at him. Liam’s expression rapidly turning bleak, like he’d witnessed something horrifying, amused me enough to make me giggle. Honestly, it wasn’t even that funny, but laughter kept spilling out anyway. The irritation I’d felt while talking to Eden at the restaurant—so bad I hadn’t wanted to say a single word—already felt like something from the distant past.
“Stop laughing. You’re ruining my appetite.”
“You never looked like you had much appetite to begin with. It’s about time you accepted that it’s been like this ever since you lost your roommate.”
“When are you meeting Noah? And why?”
“I’m meeting your former roommate Noah for lunch this weekend. Noah likes me, and I like Noah too, so naturally we’re meeting.”
“I’m starting to envy your endlessly positive symptoms.”
This time I winked my other eye and drank my beer. Liam grabbed the can that still had about half left and gulped it down.
Before long, darkness fully settled across the sky, and I bounced lightly over to the window with restless steps.
Hiding behind the curtain, I peeked outside with only my face showing. I searched for the black sedan that could easily disappear into the night and finally spotted a tall figure. Maybe he’d moved the car to a different parking spot, because Eden was crossing the street with his hands shoved into his pockets.
Eden, turn around.
Look up.
No, don’t look.
You’re always the one secretly watching me. That’s unfair, so I’m going to watch you too. That’s the only reason I’m watching you. There’s no other meaning behind it. Don’t misunderstand. Only clumsy amateurs make misunderstandings like that.
Eden stopped in front of the car and pulled out his phone. He talked briefly, and then someone appeared and began speaking with him.
“Who’s that?”
I pressed my forehead flat against the window and narrowed my eyes at the scene. The other person was mostly hidden behind Eden, so I couldn’t tell what they looked like—couldn’t even tell their gender. In the end, the only information I managed to gather was that they seemed relatively small.
After the stranger left, Eden looked around before getting into the car.
Watching the black sedan, I organized my thoughts. For some reason, Eden and the other person had given off a secretive atmosphere. It felt less like he’d met a friend and more like some kind of clandestine rendezvous.
Another one of his kind?
Did stalkers exchange information with each other?
Maybe Eden himself hired someone to follow me while he was eating or sleeping. Maybe some investigator digging into my private life and reporting back to him.
As my suspicions spread into the darker side of stalking, goosebumps prickled over me. But that cold sensation was directed not at Eden, but at myself. It disgusted me that I’d gone beyond simply overlooking this abnormal situation and had started defending it. Scrubbing harshly at the back of my neck, where the fine hairs stood on end, I backed away and threw myself onto the sofa.
If I hadn’t given up hope that I’d meet you again, would I have handled things differently?
If I didn’t have this miserable fear that stopping you from digging into me would make you disappear, would I be responding more rationally now?
But assumptions disconnected from reality only made me feel pathetic.
I swept my tongue over my bitter mouth and closed my eyes. As I tried calming my restless emotions with deep breaths, Liam spoke coldly.
“Get up. If you’re about to fall asleep, get the hell out.”
“I’m too amazing to gain sympathy.”
“Did you decide to spend the whole day spewing nonsense? Every time you open your mouth, it’s nonsense.”
“I’m saying you can pity me enough to let me rest for a bit.”
“Only while I wash dishes and brush my teeth. Exactly that long.”
After enjoying my limited rest, Liam and I sat side by side watching a TV show. Both of us wore blank expressions of boredom through the lame comedy.
“This is trash.”
Disgusted by the comedian’s over-the-line jokes, Liam opened a book. It was unbearable for me too, so my patience wore out and I changed the channel. After pressing the remote like I was playing a game console, I eventually turned the TV off and stood up.
“Do I have any underwear here from last time?”
“No. Actually, yes. Hey, now that you mention it, take it with you.”
“Perfect. I’m gonna wash up.”
As I headed toward the bathroom, Liam followed and asked:
“Want to?”
I understood immediately what he meant.
Sex.
Instinctively, I glanced between Liam’s legs. Then I lowered my gaze to my own body. Even if there weren’t any obvious signs yet, touching would probably arouse me. That’s simply how the human body works.
The heat I’d long forgotten resurfaced faintly, but I wasn’t moved by it. I didn’t even think Should we?
I liked sex. If sex had an ego, it would probably like me too. So wasn’t this strange?
“No. I’m really just going to wash up.”
I turned on the bathroom light and stepped inside. Catching the shirt I tossed off, Liam waved the book in his other hand.
“This might sound like an excuse, but the book said, ‘An easy way to overcome a crisis is to escape into another intense stimulus.’”
“No matter how I think about it, that book sucks. Seriously, if you’ve got problems, just ask me instead.”
I shrugged arrogantly and shut the bathroom door. After taking off the rest of my clothes, I stood in front of the sink and faced myself in the mirror.
Even if it was just bait meant to provoke, the handsome face journalists endlessly praised in columns suddenly looked sly to me because of the dark intentions hidden underneath.
Because I wasn’t simply planning to wash up.
There was a malicious purpose behind this.
I was digging a trap and setting bait to provoke Eden.
If visiting Liam’s apartment had been phase one of the operation, then what I was planning now was around phase three in intensity. Whether such a pathetic trick would actually work on him was another question entirely.
I tore my gaze away from my mocking reflection and stepped into the shower booth. The moment I turned on the showerhead hanging overhead, the strong stream of water struck hair stiffened with spray. I rinsed through the dry straw-like strands as if washing laundry, then scrubbed my entire body with fragrant foam. Even with impure motives, showering still felt refreshing.
When I came back out with a towel wrapped around my waist, the underwear sat alone on the table.
“Lend me a T-shirt.”
