74
Even so, I could move forward
The next day, I had to go to work.
As soon as I arrived at the office, I realized my desk had been moved to Department 2. At that moment, I couldn’t understand why Sebastian’s voice saying, “You are an essential inheritance element,” echoed in my head. No, maybe I understood all too well.
Nina Volkari was the same as always. By that, I mean she was a beautiful woman in a perfect outfit without a single flaw. She wore a couple ring with the director on her ring finger, and somehow that ring…
I lowered my voice and asked Volkari as I walked alongside her.
“Do you two swap the couple rings?”
They could have the same design since they’re couple rings, but somehow it seemed like it wasn’t just the same design, but the exact same ring. At my words, Volkari’s expression momentarily hardened, then she clicked her tongue at me.
“If someone else had asked, I would have thought they were trying to blackmail us.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know it’s not.”
Volkari’s smirk seemed to say, ‘You wouldn’t do that,’ which slightly offended me.
“Hey, I know how to blackmail people too, you know.”
“Of course, I’m sure you do.”
“Despite how I look, I’m known for having one of the highest success rates for operations in this company.”
That’s right, isn’t it? Wasn’t that the gist of what Sebastian said? As I puffed up with pride, Volkari glanced at me and smiled as if soothing a child, saying “Sure,” and then asked:
“Did Riegel tell you?”
“How did you know?”
“You came in all dressed up yesterday. Do you know what that means?”
“Ah, that…”
That had quite a significant meaning. I had no idea such a big bet had been placed on me. And to think the winner was one of my fiancés. I thought Sebastian would return the money, but to my surprise, he picked up every last 10-lid bill that had fallen on the carpet and gave it all to me. Seeing him smile shyly as he said he had earned the money, I was at a loss for words.
Unable to explain the situation, I just opened and closed my mouth, trying to say something, when Volkari spoke:
“It seems Riegel really likes you. He gave you quite the unusual warning.”
“…Warning?”
“I’m sure you know you can’t submit a resignation letter, and it’s a warning to be careful when working together. He’s reminding you not to forget he’s behind you, dressing you up to shine from head to toe.”
Wait, there was such a profound meaning behind it?
I thought back to yesterday once again. But that’s not right. First of all, considering it wasn’t Sebastian but Efroy who fussed over me and dressed me up…
“I just want you to look extremely happy about being engaged to me. It’s a man’s way of showing off.”
So that’s what it meant.
When I didn’t respond, Volkari didn’t say anything more either. She seemed to think I was feeling uncomfortable. In reality, I was a bit troubled.
Why does Sebastian like me so much?
He seemed like the type of person who, once he starts liking someone, likes them endlessly. Isn’t that how those pure-hearted types usually are? They love without reserve when they like someone, and when they decide it’s over, they end it without any lingering attachment. Is that why Sebastian doesn’t have any lingering feelings for Lee Shin-yeon? I often observe to see if he misses Lee Shin-yeon, but honestly, I haven’t detected even a grain of longing.
It’s fortunate that we’re engaged.
If we had just continued dating, I wouldn’t have been able to live with the anxiety. The thought of becoming complete strangers if we broke up… There’s never been anyone as good to me, anyone who treated me so well, anyone I wanted to treat well, or anyone who made me aroused by their crying. How could I bear becoming strangers after breaking up? If we were destined to become strangers after breaking up, I would have either moved in a sensible direction of becoming strangers quickly, or in a somewhat unhealthy direction of wanting to die together… Ah, anyway, I couldn’t have handled that pressure, but now it doesn’t matter because we’re going to be family.
I should treat him well.
Every time I walked down the hallway, I felt stares on me. Some seemed to be looks of betrayal towards a superior, while others seemed to be looks of pity for working under such a crazy person. Whatever they were, I wasn’t particularly affected. They’re just strangers after all.
But Sebastian is different from them. We’re family now, we’ll be together for life.
Knock, knock.
Volkari knocked on the director’s office door and entered. I followed her in and saw the director I had met yesterday. Though he wore different clothes, his outfit was still impeccable. Come to think of it, Volkari and the director seem to have similar styles. They say people who like each other start to look alike, is that it?
“So, you’ve been moved to Department 2?”
The director served us drinks. I got the coffee I had yesterday, while Volkari received some unidentified leaf tea. Since the coffee the director made was really delicious, somehow giving Volkari tea felt like a punishment. Wondering if they had fought, I stared at the tea, which made the director click his tongue.
“Nina isn’t feeling well, so I gave her tea.”
“Ah…”
“This is why we can’t share operation details with you. It’s all written all over your face.”
At the director’s sigh, Volkari shook her head.
“I’m still not sure if this is the right thing to do. I welcome collaboration with Riegel, but Team Leader Schnieke… Will it really be okay?”
Volkari muttered, “Of all people, Team Leader Schnieke for such a big job…” Her tone conveyed absolutely no trust. Wait, how did they work together all this time with such a lack of trust? As I looked at Volkari in disbelief, she sipped her tea and answered:
“That’s why we haven’t given him any crucial information until now.”
Had I said that out loud?
“You did. It’s written all over your face.”
Wow, my mouth fell open. I thought only Sebastian was like that, but why are there so many people around me who seem to read minds? My father needs to come and sprinkle holy water!
Speaking of my father, he’ll be returning to the country soon.
I couldn’t even imagine what kind of things I’d hear.
In the director’s office, there was talk about reorganizing all of Team 9, including me, into Department 2. Team 9… I recalled the faces of Jay, Walter, and the others one by one. Honestly, when I found out Jay was alive, I was angry and disappointed in everything, but now that time has passed, I think he must have had his reasons.
“Damn it, we really didn’t want to go into hiding while pushing our team leader into danger!”
That must be true. Regardless of how the situation turned out, they probably didn’t want to do that either. They must have felt the same despair I felt when I thought all my team members had been eliminated and I was the only survivor. In my case, I didn’t know anything myself. So while I felt more powerless and angry, I didn’t feel guilty. But they must have felt guilty on top of everything else. Jay expressed it as pushing me into danger. But in reality, I wasn’t in danger. Lee had forcibly included me in another operation to protect me, so if I had just stayed put, I wouldn’t have been stabbed by that incompetent guy.
Considering my usual skills, calling it “danger” was an exaggeration. But Jay seemed to really think so, his face turning pale. How much must he have worried while hiding and pretending to be dead? When he heard I had been stabbed and collapsed, he must have been in agony. Yet, the reason he participated in that operation was because he had to confirm whether I was a Canaris spy or not. He wasn’t using me as a sacrificial lamb, he was just following the company’s procedures.
Of course, he had been living as my surveillance all along before that… But Kouri had said it too, hadn’t he? For someone as oblivious as me, they had no choice but to assign people to compensate in that way.
I don’t know. I was really upset at the time. And if you ask if there’s no lingering resentment now, there is some. But I also think they had their reasons.
When I went to Team 9’s new area in Department 2, everyone was waiting for me with anxious faces.
Neither they nor I had anything to say. Yes, I’m okay now. But it’s also true that some things between us have completely changed. I might be able to laugh with you. We might be able to carry out operations well together. But I’m not sure if I can think of you as my own like before.
“As we all know, we’ve had some… changes. It’s impossible to pretend they didn’t happen. You were monitoring me. I trusted you one hundred percent without knowing that. This was an unfair relationship. Now I know what your roles were. The discomfort and prejudice you may have to endure because of this is not my concern. That’s your burden.”
With my hands on my hips, I looked at everyone. Some moved their lips when our eyes met, while others avoided my gaze. And Jay looked straight at me. Seeing that face ready to endure anything, even the little resentment that remained started to disappear. Yes, I’ve never been able to hold onto these kinds of emotions for long. Holding onto such things makes life too difficult. Even during my child soldier days and orphanage days, it was better to quickly shake off resentment to live among many people. To do that, I needed to sort things out once.
“If you’re thinking of whining about how I’m going to doubt you, write your resignation letter today. You did something to deserve it. Anyone want to resign? It’s okay to say you’re considering it.”
Looking around, no one raised their hand. There didn’t seem to be any hesitating faces either, which made me laugh. Yeah, I actually know. You guys didn’t want to do that either, right? You did it because you were ordered to from above. I didn’t want to kill people and do stuff like that either. I did it because I had to. We’re all living like that.
“Alright, first things first. This Sunday.”
A look of determination rose in everyone’s eyes. Seeing that, I smirked.
“It’s my engagement party. Anyone who doesn’t attend will face a bloody revenge, you hear?”
