The soft bed was wrapped around my body. I felt languid.
With a hazy mind, I tried to figure out where I was. Something firm was pressing tightly against me.
The room was filled with Do Jihoon’s pheromones intertwined with mine.
Only then did my dazed, foggy consciousness gradually begin to return.
“……Hk.”
My heart pounded wildly. When I snapped my eyes open, white skin filled my vision. It was Do Jihoon’s chest.
…Embarrassingly, why the hell is this bastard naked?
I looked around. Do Jihoon’s arm was wrapped tightly around my body. Because of that, it wasn’t easy to move.
Do Jihoon was still asleep. He must have been exhausted.
“……Yuri.”
He slowly opened his eyes. His black pupils, heavy with fatigue, came into view.
“Please tell me you’re okay now.”
His voice was filled with regret. It seemed my suddenly arriving heat cycle had dealt Do Jihoon quite a blow.
“……Beep. Status: normal.”
I spoke to him playfully. Do Jihoon relaxed in relief, loosening the arm that had been wrapped around me.
I picked up my phone and checked the date. Counting the days, it had already been two full days since my heat began.
“Holy shit. Did we just sleep the whole two days?”
I stared at Do Jihoon in shock. He let out a hollow, helpless laugh.
“You don’t remember.”
He started speaking. It sounded ominous as hell.
“……The last thing I remember is you feeding me something weird.”
“Right. I gave you sleeping pills for heat.”
“I figured. But why? What do you mean I don’t remember? Didn’t I just sleep?”
“No.”
Do Jihoon shook his head.
“It’s true that you mostly slept. The problem was when you woke up a couple of times.”
“……What?”
According to Do Jihoon—
Apparently, I woke up sporadically while sleeping. And each time, completely out of my mind from heat, I clung to him and kept begging him to do it, over and over. Every time that happened, Do Jihoon released his pheromones to calm me down and put me back to sleep.
The more I listened, the more I could clearly feel the blood draining from my face. I was screwed. What the hell had I done? I came over to hang out and ended up being nothing but a massive nuisance. I felt incredibly sorry toward him.
But at the same time, another thought occurred to me.
His own omega had lost their mind in heat and was begging him to do it. And he endured that? What exactly was Do Jihoon? A very reasonable suspicion arose that Do Jihoon might actually be either asexual or impotent.
“Doji. But why—no, how did you hold back?”
“……What?”
Do Jihoon’s face crumpled as if he’d just heard an incredibly stupid question. He looked offended, like he’d been outright insulted.
But curiosity was curiosity. And I’d already started the conversation.
So I carefully continued.
“No, I mean. You know too, right? That I like you.”
“…….”
“So when I said I wanted to do it, my own will was probably mixed into that too.”
“…….”
“And an omega deliberately releasing pheromones saying they want it… wasn’t that hard to endure? I even told you to go to the other room. But you didn’t. Even though it must’ve been difficult.”
Even after I finished speaking, Do Jihoon didn’t respond. He took a deep breath, organizing his emotions.
“……Yuri. First, let me say this.”
Do Jihoon didn’t even try to smooth out his furrowed brow. Or maybe he was so preoccupied with something else that he didn’t even realize it.
“I’m actually really hurt right now.”
“What?!”
I shouted in shock at the words that came out of his mouth. I sprang upright on the bed, grabbing Do Jihoon’s suddenly empty-looking hand and clutching it tightly, making a miserable face.
“The reason I didn’t go to the other room is because I didn’t want to be the only one comfortable. An omega in heat instinctively craves alpha pheromones. It’s a genetic manifestation meant for reproduction.”
“…….”
“There’s still no drug developed that can stop an activated heat cycle. In that situation, you were suffering from a sudden heat. There was no reason not to use the closest thing to a perfect natural remedy.”
“That natural remedy was your pheromones.”
“To be precise, alpha pheromones.”
Do Jihoon spoke with calm logic. In short, because I was suffering, he stayed beside me using his pheromones to ease it—spending two days next to an omega releasing pheromones while practicing absolute restraint.
“And above all, I didn’t want to sleep with you like some brute using the excuse that you weren’t in your right mind.”
“…….”
It was incredibly touching. My chest throbbed painfully.
From now on, I should stop saying Do Jihoon lacked character. If someone like him lacked character, then everyone else in the world would basically be Jesus or Buddha.
“……Doji. I love you.”
I collapsed right on top of Do Jihoon. I rubbed my head against his bare chest before resting against him sideways. His handsome face came into view. Hearing the steady sound of his heartbeat made me feel calm.
“Why were you taking your shirt off?”
“That was my last line of defense.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You kept begging that if we weren’t going to do it, at least take our clothes off and press our skin together.”
“Okay, stop right there. That’s enough. It’s embarrassing as hell.”
Do Jihoon chuckled softly. His laughter rang in my ears along with the steady thump of his heart.
“But Doji. You’re not impotent, right?”
“……What kind of nonsense is that?”
His heartbeat began to speed up.
Do Jihoon rolled his eyes once. Then he said,
“I know what you’re thinking. But mine functions perfectly normally, so don’t worry about something ridiculous.”
“Really?”
I felt incredibly relieved. Along with Do Jihoon’s declaration of ‘I’m not impotent’, the tear-inducing memories of his life of restraint flashed through my mind.
It had already been three months since we started dating. And Do Jihoon had absolutely never gone further than kissing.
I’d agonized endlessly over whether I lacked charm as an omega, asking people around me about it roughly five hundred times.
Everyone’s answer had been the same.
“Isn’t he impotent?”
At first, of course, I ignored such bullshit. But as one month passed, then two months, that obscene word kept popping into my head! Every time it did, I had to mentally chant the Heart Sutra, repeating to myself, ‘All is meaningless.’
But now, at last, all that hard-earned perseverance was about to pay off!
“Then, Doji.”
Slowly, I released my pheromones.
“I’m completely in my right mind now, you know?”
The pheromones were filled with unmistakable temptation.
I put strength into my eyes and gave him a smiling gaze. I didn’t forget to smile brightly either.
Do Jihoon’s face first turned pale, then gradually flushed red. His pale complexion slowly took on the soft pink color of balsam flower dye. I felt the sudden urge to bite those cheeks.
“So let’s check once. Whether you’re impotent or not.”
“……Yuri.”
“Don’t say it! If you’re going to say you don’t want to.”
Do Jihoon let out a heated breath. I shifted my body and climbed on top of him. Biting his lip, he spoke as if groaning.
“Yuri. Don’t act impulsively. Before you say or do something, you should always think—”
Bullshit.
“I thought about it a lot. A lot! So let’s just do it!”
“Let’s talk after you get down first.”
“Whenever you act like this, I start worrying that I’m not attractive. That maybe you just don’t want to do it with me.”
Do Jihoon didn’t say anything. Seeing that, my mouth slowly fell open in shock, wondering if my guess was actually right.
“Holy shit. Really? You’re not that into me? So you don’t really want to do it with me?”
“As if. I was just surprised. I was thinking for a moment.”
“About what?”
Do Jihoon wet his lips. He seemed to be debating whether to say it or not.
I planted my hands on either side of his head. Do Jihoon slowly lifted his eyelids and met my gaze. For some reason, my mouth pressed tightly shut. My lips felt dry, and I swallowed.
“If you don’t want to say it, you don’t have to. But whether you say it or not, I’m going to kiss you first.”
“……I’ll say it. So move aside for a moment.”
“I don’t want to move. Say it like this.”
“If that’s what you want, then alright.”
At last, Do Jihoon began to speak.
“……I thought you might be struggling with trauma.”
“……What nonsense are you talking about?”
“Yeah. Seeing you now, it seems like I worried for nothing.”
Trauma? I was a perfectly healthy man in my twenties. I’d never experienced anything I’d call trauma in my life.
“……Are you talking about that bastard from the club?”
“……Yeah.”
I had a feeling. And sure enough, that was it.
Anger surged through me. Not toward Do Jihoon, but toward that damn dominant alpha.
Honestly, instead of worrying about it back then, I should’ve just snapped that bastard’s dick clean off. Not doing that still filled me with regret and bitterness.
