Episode 131
“Heeuu.”
Trying to exhale quietly, a strange sound burst out instead. Miles McKenney quickly closed his mouth and looked around cautiously. As he was stealing glances at the various staff and assistant writers sitting across from him, the door opened.
The executive producer of “Mirror Match,” Mitchell Cronenwirth, and Bae Geon-woo entered the conference room together. Mitchell’s manager, David, also took a seat.
After brief greetings were exchanged, McKenney joined in, extending his hand among the people. The faded suit he had worn last time was getting soaked with sweat again today.
As tomorrow was the day for auditions to cast the supporting roles, they met a day early with the lead actors and producer to coordinate various matters.
As befitting a project run by Seimon, they provided full support without limitations on personnel or capital. The production progress advanced noticeably day by day.
Even as work progressed much faster than expected, McKenney meticulously attended to every detail without glossing over anything. As a result, he had been incredibly busy these past few days. Although his body was worn out, he was just happy.
When he first made an independent film, the only staff he had were a cinematographer, a sound director, and an editor. He occasionally called in assistants to handle odd jobs, but he couldn’t afford to use them often as it was difficult to pay their daily wages.
Now, dozens of people were working towards a common goal with him. That alone made his heart swell. McKenney looked at the people sitting in front of him and felt moved once again.
After the meeting ended and people left one by one, Mitchell and Geon-woo remained in front of McKenney. Looking at the two sitting side by side, he definitely felt they were the protagonists of “Mirror Match.”
The two already knew each other, so they weren’t awkward, but they didn’t seem completely comfortable either. There was a strange tension lingering between them. Also, there was trust in their eyes as they looked at each other. It was a peculiar combination perfect for becoming Logan and Nathan.
“Thank you for making time despite your busy schedules.”
McKenney said to the two. He smiled while adjusting the position of the sunglasses on his head. The knockoff sunglasses, which were like McKenney’s symbol, never left his head.
“Not at all. I’ve been wanting to meet and talk with you separately sometime.”
Mitchell pulled his chair closer to the table. Due to the slight angle, the gap between him and Geon-woo in the seat right next to him narrowed.
“But Director, what’s this about? I thought we were almost done discussing the work?”
Geon-woo glanced at Mitchell before asking McKenney. Curious about why he had called only the protagonists separately, saying he had something important to discuss, he asked first.
“Quite impatient, aren’t you? Ahem.”
McKenney spoke playfully and then cleared his throat. After checking the closed door once more, he looked at the two in turn and slowly began to speak.
“What I’m about to say is off the record.”
In contrast to his serious eyes, the corners of his mouth were smirking.
“Depending on how you think about it, it might be uncomfortable. But what I’m saying isn’t the absolute answer, nor is it something you must absolutely follow. Just hear it and forget it right away, but leave it lightly in your subconscious.”
It was an easy yet simultaneously difficult request.
Geon-woo, who had only been blinking, turned his head at Mitchell’s low voice that happened to be heard.
“Speak comfortably.”
Geon-woo also nodded and answered, following Mitchell.
“…I’ll do that.”
“Yes. First, I’d like to discuss what Nathan and Logan’s personalities are like, and what kind of ideals these characters pursue.”
McKenney’s expression had already returned to that of the day when he first met Geon-woo. It was the same appearance as then, when he seemed light or free, giggling with anyone.
In fact, McKenney had been intimidated throughout the meeting. He was extremely tense due to the pressure of having to succeed with Seimon backing him, and the responsibility of not letting down the expectations of the high-quality personnel assigned to him.
However, his eyes sparkled when talking about the work. This was the moment when McKenney shed his timidity and truly showed his worth, becoming bold.
“Nathan and Logan don’t understand each other. Yet Nathan uses Logan’s special skills to solve cases, and Logan finds a decent entertainment in his boring life. As time passes, each other’s existence gradually becomes more important. There’s no limit to the feeling of ‘becoming important’. To elaborate further…”
McKenney exhaled deeply. The tension left his shoulders as well.
“Nathan and Logan must harbor emotions for each other.”
“Emotions?”
Mitchell asked. He leaned his upper body towards McKenney, resting his elbows on the table. Geon-woo, who had been looking at the smile on Mitchell’s lips for a moment, immediately turned his head to McKenney.
“For instance, love.”
“……”
Silence continued for a while. Geon-woo’s eyes trembled very briefly, but both Mitchell and Geon-woo maintained calm expressions.
They couldn’t ask, “Why love in a crime story with a confrontation between a detective and a psychopath?” Doing so might risk belittling the director’s screenplay, so they quietly listened to the director’s words.
“There are ’emotions’ underlying the psychology that Nathan and Logan exchange. I would say it’s closest to love, but it’s not an erotic feeling. It’s more philia than eros. To put it simply, it’s a comprehensive love that can’t be expressed by words like friendship or affection. As the movie progresses, the audience should feel a strange sensation watching the developing emotional lines between the two characters.”
Mitchell, who had removed his arms from the table, leaned back comfortably in his chair and crossed his arms. The smile on his lips remained.
“Ah, don’t misunderstand. It’s absolutely not a queer film. As I said before, everything I’m saying now is off the record. It’s a matter that won’t be revealed even after the release. It’s not even a behind-the-scenes story to tell. This is a secret, so… should we form a secret club for just the three of us? Hahaha, I’m joking.”
McKenney laughed awkwardly, but the two remained quiet. Embarrassed, McKenney quickly stopped laughing and cleared his throat. Fortunately, Mitchell eased the awkward atmosphere.
“I understand. That’s fine.”
Mitchell expressed agreement immediately without any questions or objections. As McKenney nodded greatly, seeming satisfied, Mitchell continued.
“Then, I will love Geon-woo… Ah, I’m sorry. Nathan.”
At this, Geon-woo quietly turned his head to look at Mitchell. As he met eyes with the calm-faced Mitchell, Geon-woo also opened his mouth as if enchanted.
“I’ll do the same.”
“Thank you both so much for understanding. You just need to lay that emotion in your subconscious. The rest can follow the script.”
“Yes. Let’s do that.”
McKenney added an explanation for the two. He emphasized several times that the protagonists’ secret emotions were just a supplementary means to immerse in their roles, and that it was important not to reveal them.
“…For example, you can think that the protagonists’ anger, jealousy, disappointment, and fear can also be emotions based on love. Nathan often feels anger towards Logan, but the underlying emotion would be affection. The emotions stemming from love are infinite. When you love, you can feel all emotions from the other person.”
McKenney, who had taken off the sunglasses on his head and held them in his hand, habitually wiped the lenses with the hem of his clothes. Looking at the shiny black lenses, he continued speaking casually.
“Even hatred requires emotion. What’s in the character’s heart is important. For example, isn’t the emotion of wanting to obsess over and constrain the other person also a twisted form of love? How great must a love be for a person’s world to revolve around just that one thing?”
For a moment, Geon-woo’s ears were deafened by Director McKenney’s words. It felt like he had been caught off guard.
Geon-woo’s world revolving around just one thing. McKenney called that love. The part that had been left blank until now was filled in on its own.
Geon-woo listened to McKenney’s words, feeling his heart pounding. Just then, Mitchell abruptly moved his hand and held Geon-woo’s. The two met secretly under the table. Mitchell slowly seeped between Geon-woo’s fingers, unfolding his tightly clenched fingers.
Due to his tendency to avoid complex and difficult things, he hadn’t paid attention to the emotions his heart harbored until now. Because a truth he didn’t know himself was revealed, Geon-woo felt uncomfortable with McKenney’s words. But Mitchell’s gentle touch calmly suppressed Geon-woo’s resistance.
At the same time, it filled in a new possibility.
…Maybe he could love?
He quietly removed the uncomfortable truth that he couldn’t possibly love a man.
