[……I do not want to go back to that mansion. I hate the idea of Guiding someone else. I do not want him to see that. Why does he keep… driving me to the edge like this? Is it because everyone refused to receive Guiding from me? But that was… beyond my control. Everyone hates me. Of course they would find it revolting to touch someone they despise. At this point, I truly do not know anymore. What does he want from me? Why can I still not let go of these feelings for him? I am so pathetic. It feels like everything is my fault. Because I liked him… because I could not even hide it… is that why things ended up like this? I am just so exhausted now.]
The moment he reached the final period, the breath he had been holding burst from his lungs. A dull ache bloomed in his chest.
Lifting his right hand, Lee Haru rubbed the spot over his heart. He could not tell whether the pain belonged to him—or to the body he now inhabited.
“So in the end, it never says who that person was.”
Just in case, he flipped through the rest of the pages, but that had been the final entry. Closing his eyes, he sank into thought.
“So it has to be either Kang Min or Hong Seong-jun… Still, better keep Yu Je-hyun in the running too, just in case.”
The only name people ever whispered about was Lee Haru. Yet, from what the diary revealed, his obsession with the S-rank Espers had all stemmed from one particular person.
The full story was never written out, but it was obvious—Lee Haru had only ever wanted to do sex Guiding with him.
From the very first page, the diary had opened with fluttering feelings toward that man.
“Could it be… he was already in love before he ever awakened as a Guide?”
It had been four years since Lee Haru became a Guide. The others, as far as the reader knew, had awakened as Espers even earlier.
“There’s still way too much missing… too many puzzle pieces.”
He still had no idea why Lee Haru had shown him these memories. Was it a plea for revenge? Did Haru want him to strike back on his behalf?
Rubbing his bare wrist—now devoid of any trace—he slipped deeper into thought.
“First, I need food. I’m starving.”
After working his brain to the brink, his stomach had finally snapped in protest, roaring its demands.
Just to be safe, he stood and returned the diary to its original place. He had meant to tidy up, since it had been a while—but even that was too much. Just moving around had left him sweating like someone who had never exercised a day in their life.
He looked down at the body, slick with cold sweat from the smallest exertion, and sighed.
Bzzz—Bzzzz—
He had just remembered the pizza he ate after waking up in this place and was heading out when his phone buzzed in his pocket.
When the name lit up on the screen, Lee Haru tilted his head in confusion.
“Why is he calling all of a sudden?”
Up to now, the only people who had ever contacted this phone were staff from the Association.
“Hel—”
—Why the hell would I be your ‘honey’? Cut the crap. Where are you?
“……”
He had not even said “honey.” Just barely let the syllable slip out before being cut off. Yu Je-hyun probably knew that and was just messing with him—but it still left him momentarily speechless.
Maybe the silence annoyed him, because Yu Je-hyun barked again, demanding his location.
—Where are you right now?
“…At home.”
—Since when do you have a home—oh, you mean the dorm? What the hell are you doing there?
“I guess I just wanted to enjoy my freedom.”
Je-hyun’s tone had been sharp, so Haru’s answer came out blunt in return. Still holding the phone, he stepped outside.
Oddly, talking to Yu Je-hyun only made him hungrier. As if to emphasize how empty his stomach truly was, it growled audibly. Rubbing at it, he made his way to the elevator.
—Are you starving? That sound was loud as hell.
“……”
What the hell was wrong with this guy?
Apparently, the sound had been loud enough to carry through the phone. Je-hyun’s smug, mocking tone made a vein pulse at Haru’s temple.
—Wait for me at the first-floor café. I’ll be there soon.
“What do you—”
He barely got the words out before the call cut off.
“Hah… what the actual fuck is that etiquette?”
Someone needed to tell Yu Je-hyun that hanging up before the other person finished talking was absurdly rude.
The fact that Haru could not say any of this to his face—because he was afraid—made it all feel even more pathetic.
He headed toward the first floor. Familiar stares followed him every step of the way. If anything, they were even worse than when he had first entered the Espers’ mansion.
Ignoring the hushed whispers, he stepped into the pizza place he had visited once before.
“Hello. Long time no see.”
“O-oh… Hello.”
The same part-timer was still there. Haru greeted him with a bright, easy smile, and the worker returned it—awkwardly, like he did not quite know how to react.
He ordered a full pizza and a bottle of cola, then sat down. Immediately, every eye in the shop turned toward him.
Not in the mood to deal with people right now.
If he had more energy, he might have stared back at each of them, daring them to keep looking. But the emotional wreckage left behind by the diary still lingered, dragging down his every movement.
He had no energy left to waste on strangers’ curiosity.
The pizza came out quickly. Fresh from the oven, the slices were still piping hot. Haru stacked two pieces together and took a bite, long strings of cheese stretching between his lips and the crust.
A savory, salty richness bloomed across his tongue, spreading through his mouth.
“So good.”
With both cheeks puffed out, he stuffed himself full and relished every bite. The stomach that had been grumbling moments ago immediately settled once food hit his system.
In what felt like seconds, he devoured two slices. As he bit into another pizza sandwich—two slices stacked like a decadent double-decker—he was interrupted.
“I swear, you never listen. I told you to wait at the café, didn’t I? You completely ignored me, didn’t you?”
A breeze strong enough to toss his bangs swept by—and just like that, the chair across from him, which had been empty a second ago, was suddenly occupied by Yu Je-hyun.
Haru said nothing. His mouth was still full of pizza. Avoiding the other’s gaze, he focused intently on chewing.
They had not made plans to meet. Yu Je-hyun had hung up before Haru could get a word in. Who knew when he would actually show up? Haru had been too hungry to wait around.
“Why’d you order this one? I like bulgogi.”
Too bad.
Haru swallowed the rising words along with his bite. Sure, he liked bulgogi pizza too—but today, he had been craving something loaded with ham.
Yu Je-hyun lifted a slice heavy with pepperoni, glanced at Haru, then picked up another and stacked them.
“Does it actually taste better like this?”
“Yes.”
It was a method born of necessity. A single slice never felt like enough. Stacking them not only doubled the toppings but made for a cleaner bite, with the messy side hidden inside.
“So why’d you call me? We’re not exactly the type to just… chat, are we?”
Even as he asked, Haru hesitated. It sounded a bit like an accusation, and he regretted the phrasing.
But Yu Je-hyun looked utterly unconcerned. Apparently hungry, he polished off half the slice in two large bites, oil glistening faintly along his lips.
Haru stood up and returned with another cup. He poured a fizzy, bubbling cola and offered it. Je-hyun accepted without a word, downing it in one smooth motion.
“Ahhh. Why did I call you? Because I was hungry, obviously.”
His stare practically said, What, you did not figure that out? Haru, opting not to respond, simply wolfed down the rest of his pizza sandwich.
It was nice that things had mellowed between them, but sometimes Haru wondered if Yu Je-hyun thought of him more as the mansion’s cook than a Guide.
“I’m finishing the rest.”
“Be my guest.”
Despite the pizza being large, Yu Je-hyun had scarfed down two slices in a few bites and now reached for the final two.
Haru was still a little hungry, but his craving had been dulled. He handed them over without hesitation.
To wrap up the meal, both poured themselves fresh glasses of cola and took long, refreshing sips. Their cups clinked softly as they were set down almost in unison.
“So why did you come back to the dorm? You made it sound like you’d never leave that mansion.”
“No real reason. Figured the place would be dusty by now. I was curious if my stuff was still there.”
“You really live a dull life, huh? If that’s enough to get you curious.”
Haru blinked at him, wide-eyed and unamused. It hit him again—his cooking really had worked wonders.
Considering where they had started, this conversation felt like a giant leap forward. Who knew homemade food could bridge a gap like this?
The man who once radiated nothing but menace was now casually wiping grease off his fingers with a wet napkin.
Sensing Haru’s gaze, Yu Je-hyun looked up and met his eyes. No matter how many times he saw him, Haru still found his appearance strange in a fascinating way.
His irises were black with a faint wash of gray, and when they caught the light, they gleamed subtly—like his hair, which looked silver in the right sun.
The soft curve of his lips lifted into a smile—bright and striking, like something straight out of a coming-of-age film.
“Not satisfied either, are you?”
