-74-
Eventually the man spoke.
‘I’ve seen a lot of kids like you.’
He spat phlegm on the ground, then looked straight at Bunhong and whispered. As if giving advice with generosity.
In Bunhong’s judgment, he was definitely a bad person. Because he had cursed Ido. But why he felt that way was unclear.
‘…….’
Toward Bunhong who stood quietly with his mouth closed, he continued speaking.
‘There are so many plausible things in the world. He seems real, right? Because the songs and lyrics he writes are beautiful, even though he looks indifferent on the outside, his heart probably seems fragile because of that. He probably seems to have rich sensitivity too. But compared to his skills, he’s just groveling in this kind of underground scene, so he’s pitiful and you want to love him, right?’
As if hit right on target, Bunhong couldn’t say anything.
‘…….’
‘He says he’s going to do art.’
At the moment he spoke mockingly, he should have turned around and left. These weren’t words worth listening to.
He knew everything, but the reason his steps wouldn’t move was perhaps because he had somewhat anticipated it?
‘At first glance he seems to know love, but he doesn’t know that kind of thing at all. Can’t feel it. If flowers are blooming on the street, he’d know there are flowers there. But if he can’t actually smell that fragrance, can you call that real?’
I’ve never seen anyone as calculating as that bastard in my life- As soon as the man finished speaking, Bunhong fled from that spot as if running away.
‘……I don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear it either.’
Bunhong, who had been sitting with his ears covered, asked himself.
‘But, did you really not know?’
That in every moment of the past, while he was loving, he was playing a game.
‘What kind of bet?’
When Bunhong asked that, Ido suggested that since his feelings weren’t love yet, try making him fall in love once.
He said he didn’t need to wager anything. Only Bunhong’s emotions would get hurt. He said it would bring more unfortunate results than gambling.
It was an unfair bet where he himself wagered nothing, while what would be lost was only the other person’s heart anyway.
In conclusion, that had been Ido’s way of dealing with love all along.
Bunhong wondered how many people besides himself he had made such bets with.
Had it been fun? Playing such games. How much entertainment he must have gotten in front of past lovers who were anxious and frantic.
JOKER. This song-
These lyrics…….
“Deceiving each other
This is a game where the person who falls in love loses”
Bunhong had noticed for some time that this was Ido’s way of treating him. To see the truth, you have to wander through lies?
And now on this stage, chewing over the lyrics Ido had written, Bunhong finally came to know painfully what that truth he had emphasized so much was.
Soon the choreography that had to be done with Ido began. Unlike in the practice room, he opened his eyes wide to avoid making mistakes.
‘Anyway, I know it all, these are memorized movements.’
Comforting himself like that, it became okay.
From regression until debuting as BLACK again. And until deciding to imitate Lee Hanbit.
Bunhong thought he had been dragged along by Ido, but it wasn’t so. So this was all his own will.
Realizing that, the person in front of his eyes who had always seemed big looked infinitely small.
He had just fallen in love, so his inflated heart had covered the truth and was busy idealizing lies.
The reality was just a pitiful young man who lived embracing trampled dreams that no one acknowledged, no different from himself.
Over Ido’s face reciting the lyrics, the words he had cast like a spell on Bunhong every time overlapped.
‘Brilliance is only momentary, we end up becoming nothing.’
To those words, Bunhong felt he could now give an answer.
‘……Coward.’
He was curious what reaction Ido would show if he said it out loud.
Briefly taking his gaze off Ido and looking around, the lights installed throughout the studio were shining so blindingly they seemed like they would hurt his vision, just like when he first went on stage during ‘Neverland’ activities.
In Bunhong’s thoughts,
‘Hyung is a coward.’
Ido’s major flaw was that he couldn’t bloom his own flower unless he parasitically fed off other people’s hearts.
‘That’s why he’s afraid of light.’
Because it’s blinding, because it quickly fades, he was scared to stay.
Even after regressing, he didn’t have the courage to change the future with his own strength alone…… so he used the chess piece called Kim Bunhong.
Objectively, Bunhong knew that compared to Ido, his abilities were far below. However, there was one fact he wanted to let the arrogant Ido know, who firmly believed he had been controlling everything.
‘I’m different.’
Because of money? He couldn’t have returned to this hellish place for just one reason.
He just wanted to stand once more and prove himself.
How much courage was needed to make this one resolution…… no one would know, but at least Kim Bunhong himself knew.
His body, accustomed to practice to the point where he didn’t even notice when they had reached the song’s final part, was naturally performing the choreography as it moved automatically regardless of his will.
“At the last moment, who will the joker be in whose hands?”
So the effort Bunhong had made until now wasn’t something trivial that could be shaken by the likes of Jeong Ido.
Sweat beaded on his forehead and flowed down. With his eyes opened narrowly, Bunhong recalled the scenery he had looked down at while sitting alone on the set before starting the studio filming.
Things that seemed like they would never be reached from his toes.
Feeling that the lights he had looked down at while sitting were now illuminating him, Bunhong pulled up the corners of his mouth.
The stars he had so desperately longed to see didn’t exist only in the fake world created by writing Ido’s songs.
He realized that every being on stage was dazzling and sparkling, beautiful enough to feel like stars in the night sky.
Light was always intense enough to erase one’s presence, arousing fear that made you want to run away as if you’d be devoured, but at the same time it made Bunhong dream.
Until now, he had been someone who only stood behind Lee Hanbit, behind someone else. He hadn’t thought that having only his own part could be this ecstatic. Knowing that he wouldn’t have realized this if he hadn’t come back, the emotion of indignation surged up first.
The moment of revealing himself purely on stage was that thrilling and ecstatic.
Even while anticipating that his whole body would burn up at the end, even while being aware that he was like a moth flying toward light, he couldn’t stop.
No, actually not wanting to stop, Bunhong earnestly asked in his heart.
‘How wonderful would it be if this emotion, this moment could be left as an eternal song, as music?’
Past Bunhong had always thought he was standing on the edge of a cliff on stage. After losing his fear, he became desperate as if there was nowhere left to retreat.
Before starting this stage, when he had contacted Hangeul, there was one resolution Bunhong had made. The one moment Bunhong had aimed for was exactly now, when he had to handle this song’s final part.
“……Don’t let your guard down.”
Without hesitation, Bunhong ran and jumped up, stepping on Duho and Lucy’s knees. Then he felt dizzy and tasted metallic blood in his mouth.
Then he immediately staggered toward Ido. Spitting out the song lyrics lingering in his mouth one by one.
“Once again, the game has begun.”
He shuffled the cards again to perform the pre-agreed performance. They quickly walked to the table placed in the center of the stage and spread out the hands they had been holding so they couldn’t be seen by each other.
‘Mock me to your heart’s content.’
Toward that still expressionless face where nothing could be read, Bunhong sneered inwardly and finished reciting the lyrics.
“Listen well,
The next winner will be me.”
Sweeping back his hair, he took out the final card with ‘JOKER’ drawn on it that he had kept hidden below and never shown until the end, and kissed it.
As soon as Bunhong made that motion, the cards scattered in the air.
At the same time, the tables turned and the stage ended.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
