-69-
Before there was a chance to contact Bunhong again, the day with joint schedules for both groups approached. The waiting rooms were in similar locations so the distance was close, but even during brief passing encounters, they couldn’t exchange words. It was because they were frantically busy.
All they managed was a brief nod and distant eye contact in passing. Only after finishing makeup for going on stage and catching their breath did they have some leisure.
Hangeul stretched and slumped into a chair. He was watching the television installed in the corner of the waiting room. Since the outdoor stage was broadcast live, BLACK’s real-time appearance was reflected on the screen.
Then Hangeul inwardly let out a short exclamation at Bunhong’s close-up face. One of the OORA members watching together beside him said.
“Those guys are pretty decent, aren’t they?”
Hangeul answered, deliberately acting nonchalant.
“Not bad.”
Though he acted as if nothing was wrong on the outside, inside was actually in chaos. Just seeing Bunhong made him feel a corner of his heart stirring. After thinking about what kind of emotion this was all along, it seemed similar to the feelings of fans who had been cheering for him.
If this heart that hoped he wouldn’t be hurt and wished no sad things would happen to him wasn’t fan sentiment, then what could it be?
While watching BLACK’s stage like that, there was still one thing that bothered him.
“His throat…”
It was because of Bunhong’s unchanged vocal technique. Though he seemed to manage fine on the surface, his rough breathing looked quite worrying.
“He’s really going to suffer greatly later if he keeps that up.”
Even while moving to perform OORA’s upcoming stage, he couldn’t help but keep worrying about that.
He knew it was meddling, so he couldn’t properly say anything about it.
Just as he was about to climb the stairs to go on stage, Hangeul carefully approached something he saw at an angle.
“What’s this.”
A familiar figure was visible behind the stage. Looking very tired, the person was hunched over completely, but stood out thanks to the flashy stage costume. He could see the back rising and falling with each labored breath.
Hangeul knew this wasn’t right, but stopped briefly and said.
“Excuse me, just a moment.”
“Where are you going!?”
Pushing away the hands trying to hold him back and running over, sure enough, the owner of that small back was none other than Bunhong.
“Ah…”
His fingertips fell in the air. He didn’t have the courage to acknowledge him. Hangeul, who had been scratching the back of his neck, looked around and spoke to a passing staff member. After confirming they approached the tired-looking Bunhong, Hangeul turned his steps away.
* * *
Because the stage was broadcast live, Bunhong found it especially overwhelming and difficult to perform today.
Since it was an outdoor stage, even the blowing wind felt fierce. Every time he moved his body to follow the stage choreography, it felt like being whipped.
“Phew…”
After barely finishing the stage and coming down staggering, dizziness suddenly rushed over him.
“Hyung, what’s wrong!?”
He could clearly hear Lucy’s voice, but the figure before his eyes wasn’t clearly visible. Bunhong hesitated and touched the ground. There seemed to be something like a chair. After sitting there, he barely managed to open his mouth.
“…No. I’ll just rest for a moment and then go.”
Like that, he was left alone behind the stage. Perhaps discovering him in this state, several staff members came over asking if he was okay and handed him bottled water. Feeling his vision gradually recovering, Bunhong gulped down the water.
While sitting in that state, he could hear OORA’s music flowing from the distant stage. Even without being able to see clearly, he could tell that the most noticeable member among them was Hangeul.
‘I’m envious.’
Bunhong thought while staring blankly.
While he had to swim desperately underwater just to barely float on the surface, how could that person digest everything so naturally and effortlessly, making it his own?
He was jealous of the attitude that seemed leisurely at every moment.
They said effort doesn’t betray you, but that was only by his own standards. By others’ standards, he still seemed like nothing more than a pathetic person. If he became a better version of himself than before, could that really be called growth?
Anyway, compared to truly excellent swans, he was still just an ugly duckling that fell far short.
‘Why do they claim to be fans of someone like me?’
Bunhong smiled bitterly while touching the wrist where his watch had been temporarily removed to complete the schedule.
‘…When there are so many excellent people like that in the world.’
When he thought he’d taken a step forward, it felt like eventually returning to the same place, like a temporarily stretched spring – was this fundamentally due to lack of talent after all?
When he envied Lee Hanbit, he thought everything would be fine if only that guy’s empty spot became his. But the satisfying feeling didn’t last long, and he found himself at yet another starting line.
It was tiresome and exhausting.
Enough to make him want to give up everything.
Even taking sleeping pills, no matter how deeply he fell asleep, he couldn’t completely prevent the nightmares that visited every night.
Day by day, his heart grew weary and desolate.
Would there be an end to all of this?
In the midst of this, from what he briefly overheard in the waiting room, a fan club inauguration ceremony was scheduled to be held. BLACK’s fan club name, already officially decided through voting beforehand, was ‘Light’ – meaning light as the word suggested.
It was the same as before regression, but the reason this meaning reached him differently was probably due to his changed mindset from that time.
‘I’m a fan. I hope you’ll always be filled with only good things.’
The letter that had been enclosed with that watch that regressed together at the moment of death was truly like a ray of light discovered in darkness.
After OORA’s stage ended, they had to come out on stage together one last time to greet everyone, but as soon as they came back outside, something began hitting his forehead and Bunhong looked up.
“Ah.”
What was hitting him was raindrops. It had started raining at some point.
The raindrops that had been falling lightly gradually intensified.
The moment he staggered and stood upright, looking ahead, his eyes met with someone.
“!!”
The person looking back at him with a worried expression from a distance was none other than Hangeul.
“Why… why.”
Bunhong muttered.
‘What’s with that expression?’
He was curious why, when everyone was equally getting rained on, Hangeul was specifically looking at him. Moreover, Hangeul was also a soaked mess from the rain.
If he had to pick the most changed thing after regression, it was that his contact points with Hangeul had increased exponentially – he felt like Hangeul was constantly hovering around him without knowing it.
As if it wasn’t just his own delusion, as soon as the group greeting ended, Hangeul immediately walked toward Bunhong.
“It’s raining too much. Aren’t you cold?”
The raindrops that had been falling on his eyes suddenly stopped. Puzzled, he looked up to see Hangeul had raised his hand to make a canopy, blocking the rain falling on him.
It was a surprisingly gentle voice. A few fans wearing raincoats below the stage witnessed this scene and exclaimed.
Though OORA and BLACK fans didn’t get along well, strangely he’d heard there was a separate group that liked seeing him and Hangeul paired together.
Though it was still awkward, being conscious of those gazes, he had no choice but to act like a close junior to Hangeul.
Even while walking together to the waiting room, there wasn’t much conversation going back and forth. Bunhong, who had been hesitating, spoke quietly to Hangeul.
“By any chance, did your number change?”
“…”
“I sent you a text but there was no reply…”
Since there was more than a span’s difference in height, he had to look up to see Hangeul’s face.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
