-52-
Last week, all of BLACK’s members had already finished profile shooting, and he knew the preview had been posted online. He heard the reaction was quite hot. If things continued like this, he thought they would probably walk a smooth path of success ahead.
Though he was the one who proposed it, honestly it wasn’t pleasant for him since the things he had to worry about had doubled. Just putting all his energy into acting out the perfect Lee Hanbit already made each day overwhelming.
However, considering that even before his regression, the comeback that immediately followed after the reality show broadcast had several times more buzz, he thought it was inevitable and simply complied.
Bunhong had been so busy overworking his body and mind that he had fallen into such deep sleep that he couldn’t even dream for a while. But at some point, he started having nightmares. If he pinpointed the exact time it started, it was from the very day Bunhong decided to imitate Hanbit.
In his dream, he was standing alone on stage.
“……Hyung!”
As soon as he saw Lee Hanbit’s bright smile directed at him, he immediately realized this moment wasn’t reality.
‘Thinking about how I look now, there’s no way you’d smile at me anymore.’
Even in the midst of this, he had to wake up early tomorrow, so could he wake up from this dream quickly? That was Bunhong’s biggest worry.
Because he couldn’t move his body as if suffering from sleep paralysis. His limbs that had been perfectly fine until he fell asleep were frozen solid.
Even his tongue had hardened stiffly so he couldn’t make a sound, so he laughed inwardly. As expected, Bunhong couldn’t actually speak and sneered in his mind.
‘Right. You’re human too. Are you resentful, so you’re trying to get revenge on me like this, even in a dream?’
He wanted to let him know that now, when he was helplessly exposing his vulnerable nape, was the perfect opportunity. If he had a blade in his hand, even if only in imagination, don’t hesitate and quickly stab the carotid artery. Let’s tie the knot of this tiresome bad relationship that way.
Then, as if the imaginary Hanbit had read Bunhong’s such earnest gaze, he approached him step by step without hesitation. Soon he was standing right in front of him.
They were similar, but compared to him, he had a weaker presence. The same was true for his appearance. They resembled each other, but when looking at the overall picture, if Lee Hanbit felt flashy and bold, Bunhong was fragile and delicate.
It was the first time seeing that guy’s face this close, and the more closely he looked, the more it gave him the creepy feeling that his facial features themselves were really similar to his own.
As he was looking like that for a while, at some point the scene had switched. Bunhong was now strangling his neck.
‘This crazy……!’
That’s right. He didn’t want to admit it, but in his dreams, he had already killed him several times.
The years of suppressing his inner feelings had been too long. It was similar to when killing a disgusting bug that was revolting even to look at. He was busy forcibly enduring it, like placing a large stone on a writhing body struggling to live and waiting for its breath to gradually stop.
He was so disgusted by looking into himself that he couldn’t gauge how deep it was, but now Bunhong could know. Since they say dreams are where the deepest unconscious is projected.
However, ethically, even though it wasn’t reality, guilt came first that he shouldn’t be doing this.
Even though it was a dream, could it be this vivid?
The pulse felt under his wrapped fingers was beating roughly like a storm. The trembling movements were clearly felt over the thin skin. No matter how much he tried not to put strength in his hands, he couldn’t help it – was it because of his weak heart that couldn’t perfectly overcome desire?
“Ugh.”
His eyes moistened, and shallow moans leaked between his clenched molars. Like that, even though it was in a dream, he was forced to watch until the very last moment when the breath of the one in his grasp gradually faded.
The persistent breath finally stopped and no longer could he feel breathing, pulse, or anything else – right at that moment,
Lee Hanbit, who he thought was dead, opened his eyes covered with black feathers. Not only that, but he even asked him this:
“Satisfied?”
The moment his eyes met with what he had believed to be Lee Hanbit, Bunhong easily realized what he had been denying and running away from all this time, making it seem meaningless.
After the song was stolen, in the dreams he had every night. The true identity of the one whose neck he had been strangling.
It wasn’t Hanbit.
‘This is,’
Gulp. He swallowed.
‘……me?’
What Bunhong had killed was none other than himself. Was he confused because he was wearing Lee Hanbit’s disguise? It was such perfect camouflage that even the person himself couldn’t recognize it.
‘So it was going to end up like this anyway.’
The appearance with the mask removed was ugly. Whatever it was, it was a ridiculous sight until the very end. A clown, itself.
“Huk……!”
He woke from the nightmare at the same time as inhaling.
“As expected, it was a dream.”
Even while sleeping, he had been gripping the blanket so tightly that his hands were numb. Even though it was just a dream, Bunhong couldn’t shake off his uncomfortable feelings and raised both hands to mess up his hair. Someone carefully grabbed his shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
The owner of the voice was Han Chayeon. He looked very tired, as if he had woken up from Bunhong’s rough movements while tossing and turning. Since he used the bed right next to him as a roommate, he had no choice but to suffer the direct impact.
“……”
Bunhong awkwardly received tissue from him and wiped his forehead that was soaked with sweat.
“You were crying so sadly that I woke you up.”
Only after hearing Chayeon’s words did Bunhong realize he had misunderstood the purpose of the tissue. He didn’t even know he was crying. When he hurriedly bent his fingers and touched his eyes, the tears that had pooled fell down his palm.
“Sorry. I’m a high-maintenance roommate, aren’t I?”
Then Chayeon answered with a smile.
“……I guess so.”
“What time is it now?”
“6 AM.”
It was Bunhong’s tone, deliberately acting nonchalant as if he hadn’t been crying. Chayeon, who stared at him like that and answered a beat late, walked toward the window and pulled back the curtains.
The light that had been hidden began to seep in. Seeing Chayeon’s hair damp with moisture as if he had already washed, Bunhong remembered the schedule planned for this morning.
‘Come to think of it, I think there was a hair salon appointment today.’
Chayeon hurriedly tried to catch Bunhong who got up from bed to go to the bathroom, then stopped. He looked somehow complicated.
Bunhong, who felt the presence, turned around. Even knowing he shouldn’t have such emotions, displeasure crept up and he couldn’t treat him as casually as usual.
This was because the conversation between Chayeon and Duho about him in the practice room came to mind.
‘It’s strange! ……The kid changed since that day.’
Thinking he wasn’t going to ask another strange question like that, he stared at Chayeon intently. However, since several small cameras were installed in the room, Chayeon tactfully mumbled his words.
“No. Let’s talk separately later when we have time.”
Bunhong, who shook off such Chayeon as naturally as possible, smiled brightly and waved at the camera lens installed on the ceiling so his slightly stiff face wouldn’t show.
“Everyone, then I’ll be going to wash up!”
As he always did when looking at cameras, it was exactly that light smile that would make viewers feel he was lovable.
* * *
Kim Bunhong’s hair color during ‘Neverland’ activities before his regression was black, but his current role in the idol group BLACK was the center of songs that Lee Hanbit had originally taken, so he got his hair bleached this time.
To achieve the intended color, he had to go through the process of removing hair color several times. The resulting color – should it be called crimson? It was red close to pink.
The female staff working at the salon began making a fuss around him.
“Oh my. It really suits you well?”
“Your skin is fair so it’s pretty. I should take some pictures to post on SNS later.”
“The bleaching looks more refreshing and better than your original hair. You should try other colors for your next activities too.”
“Leave it to the noonas then too!”
According to them, the color would probably get closer to pink as it faded. Throughout his idol activities, he had mostly stuck to natural black hair, so this kind of dramatic transformation was embarrassing since it was his first time. Looking at himself in the mirror, Bunhong thought it wasn’t unbearable to look at.
To be honest, this seemed to fall into the quite acceptable category.
When he arrived at the practice room, everyone’s eyes widened in surprise at Bunhong’s changed appearance. With all the attention focused on him, the tips of his ears burned and he couldn’t bring himself to enter, fidgeting at the doorway.
Lucy, who had transformed with blonde hair, approached Bunhong who was standing awkwardly and pulled him inside while grabbing and shaking his arm.
“Hyung. You look totally awesome? As expected, the title of BLACK’s official visual isn’t embarrassing. Seriously handsome.”
At Lucy’s generous praise, Bunhong’s ear tips turned red and he answered in a small voice as if crawling in.
“……Thanks. The dye suits you better too.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
