Thanks to the reduced volume, the panelists’ conversation felt almost like whispers. However, the screen was still filled with images of buildings exploding and panicked citizens, making it possible to understand the tragedy even without hearing the sound. Yan forgot he was drowsy and focused on the news.
“Until the new Lord’s forces stabilize…”
“The Lycanthrope Union also regarding this situation…”
“The budget needed for recovery…”
As he tried to concentrate on the screen, the already faint sound became even less audible. More impressive than any commentary were the images of bleeding people.
“Don’t bite.”
Procion tapped Yan’s lips. Only then did Yan realize he had been biting his lower lip.
“Don’t damage your body without my permission.”
What Yan thought was pure concern apparently wasn’t. Besides, wasn’t this man the one who left the most marks on Yan’s body? Instead of arguing that point, Yan gently bit the tip of Procion’s finger.
He raised an eyebrow. His gaze seemed to say “let’s see about that.” Yan quickly released the finger and changed the subject.
“Hey… what do you think about me now?”
“About you, what?”
“About me confessing to him… if I won’t get rejected.”
Since it wasn’t the first time Yan had talked about Sirius, Procion seemed to understand who “him” referred to despite the vague expression. Yan lowered his head and fidgeted. Somehow, he always ended up like this when talking about him.
Procion stared at the red crown of Yan’s head for a moment before tossing out an answer.
“Well.”
Yan had been slightly tense, but the answer was disappointingly simple. Somehow feeling the need to explain, he added:
“Society is so chaotic these days.”
“…”
“Both of us, especially him… we never know when we might get hurt. Before that happens, we need to become closer.”
“You mean you need to have sex with him at least once before you die?”
It was an excessively cynical comment. Yan, who had been giving Procion’s personality the benefit of the doubt, almost hiccupped in surprise. Anger welled up as they silently held each other’s gaze.
“No, why would you say that?”
Sex wasn’t the issue. Of course, it wasn’t that he didn’t desire sex with Sirius… but that wasn’t relevant here.
Yan wanted to worry about Sirius if he got hurt. He wanted to change his bandages or apply medicine, and help with hospital procedures if necessary. To do that, being just “someone who worked together briefly” wasn’t enough.
If they became lovers, if not spouses, he could do so much more than now. Yan couldn’t figure out how to explain all this to Procion, so he just moved his lips without speaking. Perhaps because he was angry, his mind seemed overloaded and words wouldn’t come.
“Don’t worry. You won’t be easily harmed.”
“Then what about Sirius…”
“That’s definitely nothing to worry about. He absolutely won’t die.”
Procion spoke first, turning his gaze away. Yan was dumbfounded by his definitive statement, like he was making a prophecy. What basis did he have for such confidence? In any case, hearing something hopeful made Yan feel relieved. His anger also dissipated.
Just then, room service arrived. Procion got up from the sofa and returned moments later with food. It was Eastern European stew with beef, bread, and bean salad.
The savory aroma stimulated Yan’s appetite. As he picked up a spoon, he said:
“So, is it okay if I try confessing again?”
“…Just hurry up and eat.”
Something suddenly appeared in his vision and forced its way between Yan’s lips. It was bread. Yan reluctantly accepted it and mumbled:
“I can eat by myself…”
Despite his polite refusal, Procion continued to deliver food to Yan’s mouth. Yan grumbled that he wasn’t a delicate patient, but it was no use. Come to think of it, Procion often ordered liquid foods like soup. Spicy or stimulating foods were never on the menu.
‘Does he really see me as a patient?’
Yan thought with dissatisfaction. Because of this, the topic of confession was naturally buried.
***
Sirius met with the police chief periodically. These meetings were usually in the late afternoon, which meant the chief often stayed at work later than usual on days they had appointments.
‘Good. He’s here.’
Yan spotted the tall man walking toward the police station. His injuries must have healed, as he wasn’t wearing bandages today. Just seeing him made Yan’s heart race, so he took a deep breath, postponing his plan to appear naturally. It seemed worthwhile to have lingered near the police station even after finishing work.
“…Yan?”
Perhaps because there weren’t many people on the street, Sirius recognized Yan at a glance. Yan was startled but walked out as naturally as possible.
“Good morning.”
“Yes, good morning. But, Yan.”
Uncharacteristically, Sirius didn’t continue. Yan wondered why he had such a strange expression, then quickly raised his palm to cover his neck.
“Ah, this.”
“…”
The air felt chilly, and not just because it was late afternoon. Yan resented Procion, who had suddenly grabbed him and bitten his neck before he left the hotel last night. He’d thought the shirt collar would cover it, but the mark was just below his ear, making it slightly visible.
“Insects are bad these days, aren’t they?”
“What? Oh, yes.”
Yan, wondering what kind of excuse that was, nodded a beat late. He might look a bit foolish, but it was fortunate that Sirius accepted it as an insect bite. As an adult, Sirius probably knew what it really was, but what mattered was that he was willing to let it go.
“Well then.”
Sirius turned away as coldly as ever. Yan, thinking he couldn’t miss this opportunity, quickly grabbed him.
“Wait a moment!”
Sirius looked down at Yan as if asking what the matter was. Yan belatedly wondered if he should bring this up after being caught with a kiss mark, but he finally spoke.
“Sirius, since we’ve met by chance, it would be a shame to just part ways. Would you like to have dinner? I know a good restaurant… Eating well helps wounds heal faster.”
Sirius stared at Yan. Yan was reminded of when he first confessed to Sirius. Back then, too, Sirius had taken some time before answering. Though it was probably only about a minute, that silence had felt extremely heavy.
“I have difficulty going to ordinary restaurants.”
Is he vegan, or does he have an allergy to certain ingredients? Yan hung his head, contemplating his predicament. He never imagined Sirius couldn’t go to just any restaurant. He regretted not being able to use the French restaurant with the nice night view that he’d researched in advance.
Yan didn’t realize that with his head lowered, his nape was clearly exposed. Not only the kiss mark below his ear but also the bite mark in the center of his neck was plainly visible.
He’d been walking around like this the whole time, probably because it was in a spot difficult for him to see. Sirius sighed, finding both Procion who had done this and Yan who didn’t even know what he looked like ridiculous.
“What on earth have you been doing?”
Yan quickly raised his head. He saw Sirius wearing that strange expression again. Realizing where Sirius’s gaze was directed, Yan instinctively covered the back of his neck. Though he wasn’t sure what it was, there was clearly something wrong with his nape.
This time, an excuse like an insect bite wouldn’t work. Sirius definitely knew what kind of marks these were. Yan was both confused and embarrassed that a mark he hadn’t even known about had been discovered, and he blurted out:
“I’m studying hard.”
He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. Of course, Sirius knew he had a sex partner—or more precisely, a diet partner. But there was no need to remind him of that fact when he was about to confess.
‘I’m ruined.’
The dinner appointment—disguised as a date—wasn’t the issue. This made him look like a terrible person trying to seduce someone while having a partner. Since that was essentially the truth, Yan felt a dizzying sensation as if all the blood had drained from his body.
“Well… as I mentioned before, I’m studying hard… and studying isn’t something you can just do sitting down. You have to experience it physically to really learn…”
He hastily added explanations, but it felt like sinking deeper into a quagmire. Perhaps it would have been better if Sirius had pretended not to notice and walked away, but he just stood there watching Yan’s awkward behavior. Growing even more flustered, Yan said whatever came to mind.
“So, as a result of my training… would you like to see?”
“See what exactly?”
Yan had expected his nonsense to be ignored, but this was an unexpected response. He stared at Sirius, speechless. In that moment, it occurred to him that this might be an important opportunity.
If so, what answer should he give? What answer would make up for today’s mistake and please Sirius?
“Um… my lewd bottom is itchy… please cook it well.”
Even though there weren’t many people on the street, it was still embarrassing to say such things. If his counterpart had been anyone but Sirius, he would never have said it.
But since his partner wasn’t someone with ordinary proclivities, this must be the right answer.
“Ugh!”
Sirius grabbed Yan’s wrist and started walking somewhere. Yan’s heart was pounding as if it might burst. He thought his calculation had been correct.
But there was something he didn’t know: Sirius hadn’t fallen for Yan’s clumsy line. Rather, it was the sight of Yan lowering his gaze and slightly trembling shoulders that had ignited something in him.
